Ah Why Did I look at this

LegacyUser

Hey to everyone

Coming on here for a moan more so than anything. Just witnessed a video of my ex (who is a friend of a friend of a friend) at a party last year. We split up 3 years ago. Im 26 she's 27. It all came flooding back. She looked like she was having a good time. She also looked a little cheap if I may say so. What got to me most was what she was acting like, and what she looked like. I used to love this girl and I thought I was getting over her. We dont speak and havent seen one another in a year or two, but there isnt a day goes by where I dont think of her or our relationship in some way. Sad isnt it? Believe you me Ive tried. Nothing works. Ive only been with 2 people since the breakup, and I only did that because they were decent looking enough and they approached me.

I feel heartbroken. There, I admit it. Im need to get over this badly its been too long to be eaten away at me like this now. She probably hates me because I wouldnt let the breakup happen smoothly and that kills me. Then to see here in this video with her mate all over guys and knocking back pints and shorts it did get to me. I saw here smiling up to the video camera and I didnt know if I liked it or hated it. I dont know if you'll know what I mean but it was weird feeling. Im over in London now since Christmas with two other mates, was thinking it would be a fresh start. But it just feels even lonelyer. I know Im feeling sorry for myself and should get on with my life in another direction. This is what Ive been trying to do.

I hate what happened between us years ago, we were good friends and I hate giving a **** at now. I want closure and an end to this. I feel like a complete fool.

grahamo

Things will improve. It just takes time. By not rushing into relationships you won't bring emotional baggage with you when Miss right shows up. You're dealing with things much better than your ex who probably went on a 'mad one'.

Miss Fluff

Simonious wrote:

We dont speak and havent seen one another in a year or two, but there isnt a day goes by where I dont think of her or our relationship in some way. Sad isnt it? Believe you me Ive tried. Nothing works. Ive only been with 2 people since the breakup, and I only did that because they were decent looking enough and they approached me.

You've answered your own question. You have nobody else to occupy your thoughts with. Everyone likes a love interest of some description and when one doesn't, they find often themselves romantasizing and being overly sentimental about former loves.

You split up with her for a reason, it probably wasn't always sunshine and lollipops and because you have nobody else to invade your thoughts it may seem that in your eyes she is the one that got away.

Go out and have fun, build on improving your subs bench and stop obsessing.

davyjose

You're not living a happy life man. And the life you lived with her was a happy one. I've been exactly where you are, and the only way around it - the only way to move on, is to look after yourself (I daresay you felt somewhat jealous to see her so carefree?). when you start to do this - get your own life back, for you - you'll start looking forward. trust me.

Mr.Nice Guy

The fact that you're watching a tape of someone else having fun says it all really.

Get out there and have experiences that are worth putting on a tape for others to see.

LegacyUser

'Let me guess. You looked at a video on Bebo?

Never EVER look at an Ex's Bebo, it'll only phuck with your head. Trust me.'

cornbb

Saskia2 wrote:

'Let me guess. You looked at a video on Bebo?

Never EVER look at an Ex's Bebo, it'll only phuck with your head. Trust me.'

I'll absolutely 100% second that. Damn good advice... :cool:

geuro

nothing you can do buddy, eventually you will meet another girl that you fall in love with, after that your ex will fade out of your thoughts.avoid poring over pics and videos of her. anyone who has gone through a hard breakup should know that its best to avoid any sort of a reminder. unless your some sort of a masochist. i feel sorry for you though, i had a similar experience. i was a pretty depressed individual for a couple of years. but when i met my present girlfriend a few years back things got good again. now when i think of my ex i have fond memories, regret at how i handled things and i suppose i will always have a space in my heart for her, but its not a big deal anymore. you just have to ride it out, try not to think too much about it and be open to new people. dont expect to have a repeat of your first love, it wont be the same. but give new relationships a chance and try and enjoy yourself, and you'll bounce back

r3nu4l

You're not alone OP! davyjose and guero have expressed exactly what I was going to say. I've been in your situation and it is a horrible, horrible feeling.

Things will improve though and you will always have some feeling of regret over how you handled things during the break-up but experience eventually makes us stronger and when you do find someone new you will be so much the better for this experience.

My only regret about losing my ex is that I only waited 8 months before getting into a relationship again. My 'new' girlfrind had to put up with a lot of my emotional baggage and that was hard for her Still 8 years later she's still with me and I'm marrying her in July so it worked out okay in the end

Just remember that you are not alone and that there are tons of us guys out there who feel or have felt the same way. It's tough but you can get over it with time and a positive attitude

LegacyUser

The video was from a camcorder, not a website. The only things that really bother me now are things I cannot change. They are a = she has changed in to a slutty braindead teenager and b = I was a complete fool when we broke up. Thank you to all that replied.

davyjose

r3nu4l wrote:

My only regret about losing my ex is that I only waited 8 months before getting into a relationship again. My 'new' girlfrind had to put up with a lot of my emotional baggage and that was hard for her Still 8 years later she's still with me and I'm marrying her in July so it worked out okay in the end

This is a good point - don't use a new relationship as a way of hiding from what happened, or papering over the cracks - this is about you now. You have to be happy in yourself. I know that seems hard right now, but it's so possible.
I think once u get hurt, you never ever 100% feel the same way again, but you can gain a lot from it. Wisdom doesn't come easy. Good luck mate. Oh and stay off f*cking bebo

LegacyUser

Hey look on the bright side.
Cheer up - it's not that bad.
You're over there In England.
You should get out there more and meet those English girls.
Short of paying for it, they have to be the easiest lay in
the world ! You could be having the time of your
life with a different one every few nights (ok - U gotta rest
too).

Maybe, then, you make a few videos of your own !!!

LegacyUser

'all very good points made thank you. I am over my ex, I actually thank God I didnt stay in that relationship especially when I see the way she's acting now. It got to me for a little while, kept saying to myself 'what a shame'. Just a little lonely over here now I guess. Only I can change matters I suppose. Like I said, Im over her, just not over how we ended and not fond of the lonliness.

Your maybe rite 'time to make some movies'!'

LegacyUser

'I lived in London age 20 - 23. It can be a very lonely place. But you've just moved over and that's the hardest time. Once you get over the homesickness (or get a bit used to it) you will probably begin to have a great time. Just try and enjoy it while you're there, it can be a great city and you can always come back anytime you want.

Re your ex, you probably deserve better anyway and you will get over her, it's only seeing the video that set you back a bit...'

throwingmuses

I lived in London age 20 - 23. It can be a very lonely place. But you've just moved over and that's the hardest time. Once you get over the homesickness (or get a bit used to it) you will probably begin to have a great time. Just try and enjoy it while you're there, it can be a great city and you can always come back anytime you want.

Re your ex, you probably deserve better anyway and you will get over her, it's only seeing the video that set you back a bit...

tensecyclist

Why not take a chance? People and fate are entwined. It could be a continuation of what the two of you had started.:cool:

Black Swan

Simonious wrote:

The only things that really bother me now are things I cannot change.

Well, you need to get over her and move on.