Is my friend interested?

curiousgeorge39

Hi, I'm a 20 year old male and in college and fairly bi-curious. I've always wondered about my good friend from high school because of the way he acted around me. Anyway here are some examples of behavior that makes me wonder if he is bi/gay.

First of all we started hanging out our senior year of high school and always joked around with "gay" things in a way. Most of this occurred when we were alone (at my house/his) - not around school and such. He is kind of a bigger guy (probably around 250). I've always thought he was self conscious of his size as well so that might make him less comfortable with things.

One example is being 'touchy.' I'd put my hand on his upper thigh, butt, chest and sometimes crotch "jokingly" and he would just laugh and either pull away or push my hand off. At the same time, he would do the same to me...but he'd pull his hand away after a few seconds; because I wouldn't pull away or push him away. Although I will admit I was doing it more than him.

Second whenever I slept over - once we were getting closer to going to bed we'd usually watch a movie. He'd either unzip his pants or just take his pants off. I'd do the same but I wear briefs and he never really minded or was uncomfortable with me in them. One of the times I slept over we slept in his room; him on his bed and me on the floor. We were talking when we woke up and I had my covers off and any time I turned around to look at him; he'd turn his head away quickly as if he wasn't looking at me (or my backside).

Also a number of times we slept over; we'd both be on air mattresses next to each other. He would say something along the lines of "What if we woke up like this" and would make a motion like he was going to lay right next to me with an arm over me - like we were sleeping together. Again when he did that; I'd actually move next to him and put an arm/leg around him and like the other touchy things; he'd just laugh and say 'get off' or 'stop.'

He said he's only had two or three girlfriends but hasn't had one since his sophomore year in high school. The only time he really mentioned girls was when we watched a movie and he'd say 'that actress is hot' or something like that.

I dunno - maybe I'm just reading these things all wrong hoping that he would be interested. I just think about it randomly and wish that I could find out this summer when we are both in town for summer break. Any suggestions would be appreciated

Catari Jaguar

He does sound kinda gay. or confused.... Maybe ask him. He knows you're bi right? Or say "X guy is hot, what do you think?"

challengemaster

hmm.. It seems that he may be bi, but then again, maybe not. it can be hard to tell, but i'd say the most you can do is maybe, make your playfulness a bit more serious, up the level a bit and see how he reacts. or you could just ask him or come out in his company(if you're sure, and ok with it) and see how he reacts.

if you up the level, and he reacts badly you can always cover with 'i was just messing, soz if i went too far' or something.

in the end, its up to you what you do. Best of luck with it though.

(ps. if unreggie posting is allowed in the LGB forum, maybe a mod could consider moving it? might be better advice on what to do from people who know from experiecne. might be better left here though)

BeardyGit

curiousgeorge39 wrote:

Hi, I'm a 20 year old male and in college and fairly bi-curious. I've always wondered about my good friend from high school because of the way he acted around me. Anyway here are some examples of behavior that makes me wonder if he is bi/gay.

First of all we started hanging out our senior year of high school and always joked around with "gay" things in a way. Most of this occurred when we were alone (at my house/his) - not around school and such. He is kind of a bigger guy (probably around 250). I've always thought he was self conscious of his size as well so that might make him less comfortable with things.

One example is being 'touchy.' I'd put my hand on his upper thigh, butt, chest and sometimes crotch "jokingly" and he would just laugh and either pull away or push my hand off. At the same time, he would do the same to me...but he'd pull his hand away after a few seconds; because I wouldn't pull away or push him away. Although I will admit I was doing it more than him.

Second whenever I slept over - once we were getting closer to going to bed we'd usually watch a movie. He'd either unzip his pants or just take his pants off. I'd do the same but I wear briefs and he never really minded or was uncomfortable with me in them. One of the times I slept over we slept in his room; him on his bed and me on the floor. We were talking when we woke up and I had my covers off and any time I turned around to look at him; he'd turn his head away quickly as if he wasn't looking at me (or my backside).

Also a number of times we slept over; we'd both be on air mattresses next to each other. He would say something along the lines of "What if we woke up like this" and would make a motion like he was going to lay right next to me with an arm over me - like we were sleeping together. Again when he did that; I'd actually move next to him and put an arm/leg around him and like the other touchy things; he'd just laugh and say 'get off' or 'stop.'

He said he's only had two or three girlfriends but hasn't had one since his sophomore year in high school. The only time he really mentioned girls was when we watched a movie and he'd say 'that actress is hot' or something like that.

I dunno - maybe I'm just reading these things all wrong hoping that he would be interested. I just think about it randomly and wish that I could find out this summer when we are both in town for summer break. Any suggestions would be appreciated

Nice bait. I'll bite....

I think he sounds lonely and didn't want to lose a friend.

You on the other hand sound like a dirt bag. I don't care if you're straight or gay, a guy or a girl, in any combination you like. You can wear pretty dresses and shave your beard daily or have C cup tits and wear a sock in your boxers. You could be straight, right down the line, or have bi tendencies. I don't care about any of that.

Your sexual preference isn't of concern to me. But I'll tell you one thing - anyone who'd touch me up repeatedly the way you say you have to him would get more than a little laugh and a shrug.

I_and_I

I don't think anyone here can tell you wether he is interested or not the same way we can't tell what coulor your hair is. I would say though just because he hasn't had a girlfriend in a long time doesn't mean he is gay by any means. Also as far as you feeling him up, he is probably not uncomfortable about it but again that doesn't mean that he would like it to be a "sexual" thing. I know a guy who does this a lot but it's for the reaction he gets, outing homophobics. I do wonder though sometimes but I would hope the fact that I have never kicked the crap out of him for it wouldn't make him think I am interested, I mean is that what you would expect him to do if he is straight? It seems to me asking him is he gay is the best option for you. Nobody likes being groped without permission.

biko

Maybe you should tell him you are bi-curious (which he should have copped anyway by now). Don't make the issue about you two, just in general like. If you are open maybe he will be too.

I have a male friend that came on to me a couple times during uni, but I just laughed it off not being curious at all.
We are still excellent friends.

free2fly

I agree with the other posters. Tell him that you are bi-curious in a friend-to-friend conversational way and see how he reacts.

Tricity Bendix

I quite often get 'tactile' with my mates. Doesn't mean we're at all interested in each other.

ChRoMe

two things scream troll to me about this post.

1) use of the term high school

2) Description on the weight

Or if your legit try to ride him and see what happens lol

challengemaster

ChRoMe wrote:

two things scream troll to me about this post.

1) use of the term high school

2) Description on the weight

Or if your legit try to ride him and see what happens lol

There's actually quite a few americans who frequent boards.ie (eg. lust4life) or irish who moved to the us (ruu being a prime example)