Insecure over BF!!! please help before I wreck things....

LegacyUser

I've been going out with a cool guy for around 5 months now. This is the longest I've ever gone out with someone for. It sounds silly, as everything seems to be going good... but I've started to become totally insecure about going out with him... as it's like it's too good or something..+ I'm getting to like him too much.

I'm afraid to ask him for a bit more reassurance of how much he likes me etc.. as he'll see my insecurities. The last night we were out... a female friend of his came up in conversation (who I have met+ think is lovely)+ he also said 'she also happens to be my ex'.. (1st I've heard of it) and they never 'officially broke up'.. they just stopped 'going out' + that she was a 'phase' last year. Then he said 'and your this years phase. Haha'. he said he was only joking.. but wtf!.
How can 2 people just 'stop going out' but never say it???..sounds dodgy to me. And to top it all off, his last gf, who he went out with for a good few months.. HAD to leave the country to go home+ they're still in contact. Stuff like this is making me just slightly insecure.

I don't want to end this, as I really like the guy. But does anyone know how I can get over this insecurities without actually 'talking to him' about them.. as it's not an attractive quality?. Thanks.

Rock Climber

Stop Wondering
Maybe it is too good to be true but stop wondering.

If it is going to end it will and if it's to last it will.

Don't give in to the fear of it ending and just go with the flow.

Whats the point in feeling the insecurities, they get you nowhere.
You control them, they are yours and yours alone so switch them off.

When you do that then at least what ever happens if it ends, it wont be precipitated by you going all bunny.
I'll say it again,just stop the wondering now and get on with things as they are

ELLIEJ

His comment was in bad taste but you are going to wreck this if you get all paranoid and insecure. Why not try to take a small step back, start focussing on yourself and your own life again and bring back your confidence to what it was when you met him. Its so easy to feel vunerable the more you fall for him but it was the independent, confident person you were that he fell for in the first place. He is part of your life not all of your life.

D-Generate

I basically just "stopped going out" with my most recent ex. No break up as such, just conflicting scheduales meant we never saw each other and drifted apart and eventually started getting with others. No hard feelings towards each other but then again no feelings of wanting each other either. If we had liked one another enough we would have worked things out so I say he was in much the same situation. Didn't like her enough to work at it and just let things fizzle out naturally. No worries!

Red Hand

Make the best of what you both have. Enjoy each other's company and stop worrying about him and his exes. You are a different person to them.