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Can't Handle Having A Girlfriend

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Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,673 ✭✭✭Miss Fluff


    I think like most people in a relationship you hear things you don't like from your girlfriends past such as stuff about ex-boyfriends, other people she's slept with etc., nobody likes to hear these things, yet sometimes couples talk about it when learning about there partner.

    OK, I've said this about a hundred times in response to various PIs but why, oh why:rolleyes: oh why:rolleyes: oh why:rolleyes: oh why:rolleyes: do people feel this compulsion to share every single minute detail of their past with one another? i.e. I slept with this many people/I used to love when Joe Bloggs did that etc etc OK, hindsight is 20/20 and all that but just refrain from doing so and then these problems wouldn't arise. Life is not like the programme Jerry Springer or Trisha, we don't have to share every deepest darkest secret and air all of our dirty laundry to everyone we encounter. I can't advise you on the problem you are having now but in future relationships refrain from interrogating someone you love and HAVING TO know everything about their past.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,479 ✭✭✭Kell


    In these scenarios let them ring you.

    The OP never qualified who made the commitment i.e. if he asked her to call him or she offered to call him.

    Now- I had an ex once who constantly used to say "i will call you at x hour" and invariably never did. What started as concern on my part when the call didnt come turned to paranoia when phone went unanswered or switched off and I knowing full well that the phone was sat beside her drink where it always was.

    I think in these circumstances, if the situation is the same, the OP is right to be paranoid. If someone sets an expectation for you, its not unreasonable to feel let down or worried or paranoid depending on the frequency they do it. If a friend constantly left you out of the action, you'd question what value they hold to your relaltionship wouldnt you?

    I bet that if they call it quits, her version of events will go-

    "he was a psycho bunny boiler who was always trying to phone me when I was out"

    His version will be- "she kept telling me she would be in touch and then constantly let me down. Do you blame me for being paranoid"?

    OP- save yourself a serious amount of hassle. I inform people when I am going out, not to bother trying to get in touch because I am out. Perhaps you need to do the same.

    K-


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,770 ✭✭✭Bottle_of_Smoke


    Kell wrote:
    The OP never qualified who made the commitment i.e. if he asked her to call him or she offered to call him.

    Now- I had an ex once who constantly used to say "i will call you at x hour" and invariably never did. What started as concern on my part when the call didnt come turned to paranoia when phone went unanswered or switched off and I knowing full well that the phone was sat beside her drink where it always was.

    I think in these circumstances, if the situation is the same, the OP is right to be paranoid. If someone sets an expectation for you, its not unreasonable to feel let down or worried or paranoid depending on the frequency they do it. If a friend constantly left you out of the action, you'd question what value they hold to your relaltionship wouldnt you?

    I bet that if they call it quits, her version of events will go-

    "he was a psycho bunny boiler who was always trying to phone me when I was out"

    His version will be- "she kept telling me she would be in touch and then constantly let me down. Do you blame me for being paranoid"?

    OP- save yourself a serious amount of hassle. I inform people when I am going out, not to bother trying to get in touch because I am out. Perhaps you need to do the same.

    K-


    I completely get what you're saying - he is right to be paranoid. However ringing someone who was meant to ring you & didn't achieves nothing. He did say

    "Night went normal enough, nothing out of the ordinary, untill I heard nothing around the time she was supposed to call her at, so I rang her"

    I reckon what he meant to say was

    "Night went normal enough, nothing out of the ordinary, untill I heard nothing around the time she was supposed to call me at, so I rang her"

    I think this is a grave mistake. Don't ring & she's much more likely to call you just a little later. Ring & you're her annoying posessive boyfriend.


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