what to do...

LegacyUser

I posted a message at the end of last year about a mates girlfriend not liking my girlfriend. I got to the route of the problem and it turns out that an old friend of my girlfriend had said something to my mates girlfriend that my girlfriend had said about her! A bit silly really but anyway my mates gf never asked my gf what she said and she never apologised. So anyway time has passed and my mate and his gf have split up. Things were not working out for them and they called it quits for good. Problem gone or so I thought. My gf is now "understandably" annoyed that I want to get back in touch with my mate. I.E go for pints like we used to. She says she will never talk to him again etc and we have had rows over this! I just want to try mend a few bridges. I have also stressed to her that I will say it to him that he was wrong and that an apology would be nice. But she is having none of it! I don’t want to be going behind her back and meeting him for a few pints and then telling her I was with someone else and then the sh** hitting the fan down the line! Not sure what the hell I am looking for put needed to get it off my chest! Thanks

Beruthiel

I am making a guess from the above that ye are all very young.
Seriously, getting bent out of shape because of 5th hand gossip is more than a bit sad.
Your g/f cannot tell you who you can and cannot hang out with.
If you want to go see your mate, go. Let your g/f get over herself.

LegacyUser

'She doesnt tell me who I can and cant see. I just know it will cause lots of fights and arguements and she may even hold it against me although she is not that type of person I just feel it would be an issue! Should I tell my mate apologise and tell her there is your apology now get over it!'

tbh

????!!!! wrote:

I don’t want to be going behind her back and meeting him for a few pints and then telling her I was with someone else and then the sh** hitting the fan down the line!

You need to work out what's right for you to do, and not try to work the circumstances to fit your situation.

for example: Do you think your g/f is being petty? If she's being petty about this, can you see her reacting differently if a similar situation comes up later on? Are you happy to sacrifice your friends for the sake of your relationship? Basically, you have the facts. If your girlfriend doesn't like one of your mates, she won't want you hanging out with them. That would be enough for me to say "let's knock it on the head" - purely because that's the type of person I am. If someone forces me to make a choice between "me or them" I always pick them. If that means not getting any for a while, so be it. It's different for everyone. You have to make a decision and stick by it - if you decide to stick with your girlfriend, and not see your mate, then you can't moan about it, because it was your decision.

seamus

Sorry I'm not entirely understanding the problem.

1. Your mate's ex doesn't like your girlfriend.
2. This is because your girlfriend bitched about your mate's ex, and this got back to your mate's ex through someone else.
3. Your mate has now broken up with his ex.
4. You now want to meet up with your mate.

I don't see how your mate or you are even remotely involved in this. You or your mate don't need to apologies to anyone. If there are any apologies, it'll be your girlfriend apologising to your mate's ex for being a bitch.

Petey2006

Well, to be honest, your mate isn't much of a mate if he allowed all contact with you to be cut just because his girlfriend didn't like yours.
However, if you're going to try and get back in with him, go for it, despite what your girlfriend thinks. Who is she to make demands on who you associate with just because of some little spat caused by gossip. This does sound like you're all about 14 years old. Which is fine if you are. But if you're older, get over yourselves. This is a problem that shouldn't even exist in the first place.