Engagment Rings...how much to spend?

eyeball kid

Just wondering how much in general do people spend on engagement rings.
From what I've seen, it can vary from a few hundred € to ..well anything.
I'm not trying to get an exact figure that anybody has spent but is there a rule of thumb that people normally adhere to?
Just wondering...
Thanks.

Ruu_Old

I think I spent around 150 eurons(can't remember exact figure, could have been less) for wifeh. Whatever you can manage, don't be going into debt to buy one, sillyness.

kizzyr

eyeball kid wrote:

Just wondering how much in general do people spend on engagement rings.
From what I've seen, it can vary from a few hundred € to ..well anything.
I'm not trying to get an exact figure that anybody has spent but is there a rule of thumb that people normally adhere to?
Just wondering...
Thanks.

You should go with what you can afford and or what you think the woman who will be wearing it would be comfortable with. Some women melt at the thoughts of an uber expensive ring others don't feel happy to have several thousands Euro worth of diamonds on her finger.
I think the rule of thumb is a months wages or double a months wages, ultimately it shouldn't be an issue once you're not being a cheap skate;)
Do make sure you buy diamonds from a reputable jeweler though, not conflict stones.

dame

1,500 - 2,000 max. I wouldn't spend much more than that unless you're loaded and you want to. Like you said there's a huge range out there and nobody (bar a jeweller) really knows the difference as long as it's a nice ring. Also think how gutted your fiancée would be if she lost it. Whatever you do don't go getting out a loan to buy a ring; there are plenty more important things in life to be spending money on.

EDIT: Yep, I second Kizzyr's bit about not buying conflict diamonds!

Biro

I was in the same dilemma recently. I wouldn't limit yourself by other people's ideas really, thats the long and the short of it. You should know yourself what you're able to spend on it right now. Have a budget in mind and then have a max budget incase a particular ring that you like is over your current one. Sometimes an extra €500 can make a big difference in the ring and may be worth it.
I personally think it's worth while reading up on diamonds and the 4 C's and all that in order to have some info to use so that you're not sold a ring that is a good bit of money for a diamond thats worth nothing. You may aswell get what you definately will be paying for, whatever you spend. Like the clarity of a diamond will really only add to its value because inclusions are only really visible with a microscope, where as colour and cut will add more to the visual sparkle of the stone. Weigh it all up according to your budget and price around so you'll know what your money will buy you.
Finally make sure to push on the price of it, cause the mark up on rings is significant!! Pm if you want to know anything.

eyeball kid

Thanks for the replies.
Actually saw Blood Diamond last night. It would make you think about where the diamonds come from.

Fey!

Biro wrote:

I was in the same dilemma recently. I wouldn't limit yourself by other people's ideas really, thats the long and the short of it. You should know yourself what you're able to spend on it right now. Have a budget in mind and then have a max budget incase a particular ring that you like is over your current one. Sometimes an extra €500 can make a big difference in the ring and may be worth it.
I personally think it's worth while reading up on diamonds and the 4 C's and all that in order to have some info to use so that you're not sold a ring that is a good bit of money for a diamond thats worth nothing. You may aswell get what you definately will be paying for, whatever you spend. Like the clarity of a diamond will really only add to its value because inclusions are only really visible with a microscope, where as colour and cut will add more to the visual sparkle of the stone. Weigh it all up according to your budget and price around so you'll know what your money will buy you.
Finally make sure to push on the price of it, cause the mark up on rings is significant!! Pm if you want to know anything.

A couple of things here.

Firstly, your reference to inclusions; these marks can and will stop light travelling through the stone, which can effect the brilliance of the stone.

Secondly, the "mark-up" varies froim shop to shop. Bear in mind that if a shop advertises 20% off, then it has that extra 20% on there to start with; in other words, shop around and don't get confused by a discount sign (a shop not giving discounts may already be selling at the same price as the "discounted" price in another shop).

As for the conflict diamond comments here, maybe a few of you should read up on the World Diamond Council - www.diamondfacts.org. You have to remember that Hollywood will sensationalise everything.

Fey!

Double Post - Sorry.

r3nu4l

As everyone has said, it's what you can afford at the time but do think ahead. Only last night my other half and I were discussing the 'wisdom' of me having spent several thousand euro on her ring as now that the wedding is coming up we fully appreciate how much that money could do for us now.

That said, I have no real regrets. One piece of advice for you...haggle, haggle, haggle! It would have cost me a lot more if I'd gone for the original quoted price. Instead I got the equivalent of €750 off mine through pretending to have seen another ring that I also liked in a store down the road... I know for a fact that the store still made a nice, tidy profit on the ring I bought! The store still wins but I feel like I've won something too

Biro

Fey! wrote:

A couple of things here.

Firstly, your reference to inclusions; these marks can and will stop light travelling through the stone, which can effect the brilliance of the stone.

Secondly, the "mark-up" varies froim shop to shop. Bear in mind that if a shop advertises 20% off, then it has that extra 20% on there to start with; in other words, shop around and don't get confused by a discount sign (a shop not giving discounts may already be selling at the same price as the "discounted" price in another shop).

True, sorry... I should have been more clear. What I kind of meant was that if your budget meant that you were sacrifising something in the diamond (which for a lot of people it does!) then just be careful as to what you settle for and what you push for... like maybe a colour E and VS1 might look better than a colour G and VVS1 (given the same cut and carat) yet be worth the same value, if ya know what I mean. Maybe I'm off the wall with that example.
Re the mark-up, I was just suggesting to haggle! Not suggesting that all jewlers are rip-off merchants! It's like a car.. they'll charge you the list price if you don't ask for anything off!

Fey!

Sorry - I wasn't saying not to haggle; I was saying that some shops have a better margin to haggle with than others!

And your e-vs versus g-vvs is a good example; I was refering more to SI2 and lower stones where the clarity can make a bigger difference to the appearance.

Sorry if I came across as head biting; long day at the office!!! Listening to a lot of the "conflict diamond" stuff at the moment (ain't Hollywood great?). Looking for an article in a recent trade publication about the film "Blood Diamond" at the moment which weighs the fact of life against the drama of Hollywood.

daiixi

We've been having this conversation at work lately after the engagement of one of the girls. Most of the girls think that the ring should cost as much as you can afford because "It's the only one I'm going to get" and "He should spend as much as he can afford to show me that I'm special". In fact some of the girls are saying that the going rate is three months salary.
Now I think those arguments are completely ridiculous (as is a set amount!!) and the fact that my fiance had proposed would be enough proof that he loved me and I'd rather have more money to spend on an amazing holiday or house etc.
I know I'd want a fab ring that I loved. The price wouldn't matter.

Kinetic^

daiixi wrote:

In fact some of the girls are saying that the going rate is three months salary.

:eek: Are ya frigging real or what!!!!!!!

dame

I know of two women who got a new engagement ring later on. The husband of one got it for her for their 25th wedding anniversary (a nice idea ) and one got herself a new one at around 30 years married (I think). Both love their new rings but still prefer to wear their original one, even if it wasn't the most expensive and is a bit out of fashion now (the reason the second one got her new ring :rolleyes: ).

Saruman

Spent about the €750 mark here.

rediguana

My GF says E20K. It shows the disturbing extent of her divorce from reality as I'm a Masters student with a series of minuses in front of everything I own in the world.

Saruman

what? If she was serious i would dump her straight away. I do not care how much you love someone. If thats her expectation for a ring, imagine what she expects for the wedding.
My wife was perfectly happy with the ring, we picked it together. We got married for feck all in Vegas. Most of my small family was there and 23 of her large family. Wedding took a few mins to arrange online and by phone then flew over and had the time of our lives.
Cheap, happy, warm, fun etc. Better than any stuffy Irish wedding.

Willymuncher

I spent $1000, they actually misquoted me the price, it was supposed to have been $1600 but they ended up selling it for $1000 since that is what I was told, I was lucky . It just took a tiny bit of fuss to convince them.

I wouldn't spend too much, that money can go towards something far more important, like the actual wedding.

dame

We picked my ring together. I tried it on and loved it but moved off looking at more, 200 instantly came off the price. It was in a very prominent jewellers on Grafton Street, not a place that looked like they'd be haggling!

To th guy with the 20k ring girlfriend; WTF?? Excuse the language but you seriously need to think about your life ahead.......what sort of house, cars, holidays, clothes is she going to be expecting. A high maintenance girl like that could run you into serious debt very easily. I'm guessing she's supported by Daddy and has never really had to work for anything. I'd let her grow up a bit before you consider actually proposing and marrying her!

Kinetic^

rediguana wrote:

My GF says E20K.

Is she dillussional? Seriously, 20k, that'd be a whole wedding ffs!!!:eek:

forbairt

20K ?? EEK!!! many things spring to mind ... I shouldn't write any of them down though

I went a good bit over my original budget and I'm actually glad I did as she loves it. She did tell me though she'd be happy with a number 11 (or something for 30quid) from the argos catalog though (had a look through that to get ideas)

Spend what you're comfortable with I think ... we also picked it out together and found one we both really liked hence I said **** it and went overbudget

I personally think its a lot of BS saying 1 month -> 3 months wages that sounds more like keeping up with the jones's (apologies to the jones's)

daiixi

Honestly I know plenty of girls who would laugh in their boyfriend's face if he proposed with a ring that cost less than €10k.

Yes, saying that a ring should cost €20k or three months wages etc is crazy but there's a lot of materialistic bitches out there.

./edit: I'm just glad that my cousin is a jeweller!

Ruu_Old

Yeesh, don't I look cheap.

daiixi

Ruu wrote:

Yeesh, don't I look cheap.

Or you hooked yourself a keeper

Ruu_Old

Hurrah, more money for Ruu to spend*.




*on himself

Lothaar

Spent £110 (punts) a few years back. We were both students at the time and I had to borrow to get it. It was more than I could afford really.

A few years later she told me she doesn't really like it and she wanted a new one.

Fvckin hell - there was a lot of sentimental value in the ring I got her. I was shocked that she didn't see it that way.

Biro

If €20k was 3 months of my salary, I'd be well happy!
I think the general concensus is to spend what you can afford.

hunnymonster

Does anyone know of any women that have contributed to the cost of their ring. After all, it's the woman (in hetrosexual couple) who will wear the ring. I've always felt that if I want something I should get off my bum and work for it, why not an engagement ring if I want some ridiculously priced piece of sparkly carbon on my finger?

iguana

I decided not to get an engagement ring. Instead we used the money to buy me an iBook and my husband an iPod as engagement presents to each other. I wonder if Steve Jobs knew this story would he give us some free vouchers or something?;)

Oh and we used the money from our joint account. We've had joint finances since we moved in together, so there is no way "he" would have been buying the ring for me. It would have been bought with both our money, I guess that is why it seemed wrong for me to get a present and not him.

lil'one

wow there's some serious money being thrown around here, look i've heard the three month salary rule of thumb thing too, thought it was more of an american tradition, dunno really. my suggestion would be to go to an antique jewellers and buy something beautifull and unique, and I think anything over a grand is a little extreme unless you are loaded in which case more power to ya:D

Fey!

Spend what you can afford to spend; there's no point getting into debt for jewellery. If you can afford bigger down the road, then you can get bigger down the road.

As for the €20k ring; there are a LOT of women out there who expect that. However, most of the rings I'd sell for engagement would range between €1,500 and €8,000, even though we also carry higher level stock.

Hunnymonster; I know several women who've contributed to their own ring. In fact, I've had a few who pay a deposit themselves, then get us to mark down the price on the tag so that when the boyfriend comes in it looks cheaper!!!

Lil'one; I totally agree with you about buying in ANTIQUE SHOPS!!! (vested interest spotted, anyone???)

elqu

Hmm, I certainly wouldn't be averse to contributing to the cost of a ring if it meant i could get the one i really like. Have never heard of anyone getting a ring for €20k! My mother recently got a new diamond ring 'cause she felt the old one was old fashioned, she went to Dubai and got a beautiful 5 stone ring for €4k. Can't recall the weight of the stones but they are G colour and VVS1 clarity. And she's married 30 years and they're not exactly lacking in money!

I would have thought most older couples (28 upwards) are spending €6k - €10k. They're the figures I hear about anyway. Different if you're a poverty stricken student but then can you afford to get married if you are !!?? My friends have good jobs, teachers etc but they're not stock brokers. We 're in our 30's too which probably makes a difference to expectations... To be honest, I'd expect a fairly significant ring from a man who said he wanted to marry me. Kind of insurance that he's for real ... been at the wrong end of a few bad experiences!

Oh and I absolutely agree the man should get something too from his fiancee...

Kinetic^

There's just some crazy people on here I dunno what I'd spend as I've never been in that situation and won't be for another 5 years or so but then, I reckon 5k-10k would be adequate. Not nessecarily bought mind you, maybe abroad.

daiixi

hunnymonster wrote:

Does anyone know of any women that have contributed to the cost of their ring. After all, it's the woman (in hetrosexual couple) who will wear the ring. I've always felt that if I want something I should get off my bum and work for it, why not an engagement ring if I want some ridiculously priced piece of sparkly carbon on my finger?

This is something I don't understand. If I'm getting married to someone then his money would be my money and my money would be his money therefore we would be going halves in the ring. I have friends who have their own money to do whatever they want with and separate "marriage" money. So their "marriage" money goes towards the house, food, bills etc but if they're going out for drinks and she has no money then she can't drink because she spent all her money or she can afford to go on holidays because she earns more then her husband does so she goes without him. Just plain weird...

Aquitaine

elqu wrote:

To be honest, I'd expect a fairly significant ring from a man who said he wanted to marry me. Kind of insurance that he's for real ... been at the wrong end of a few bad experiences!

Elqu, if you determine how much someone loves you by how much they spent on an engagement ring then i think thats a problem. I have no idea nor care to know how much my engagement ring cost.

Cyrus

ive been with my girlfriend 7 yrs now so it has come up from time to time

she would be of the opinion that 8-10k would be about right ( i have a decent career and in a few years time it would be affordable id imagine)

but she is also adamant that she will be buying me an expensive present of some sort, most likely a watch ( a nice IWC, Breitling something like that) so it will even itself out

as an aside where is the best place to buy diamonds, im guessing ireland isnt

HelterSkelter

Make sure you ask for a discount when you agree to buy a ring. I got 10% off no hassel. I might have got more if I pushed but I was so surprised to get the 10% that I just took it.

HelterSkelter

Make sure you ask for a discount when you agree to buy a ring. I got 10% off no hassel. I might have got more if I pushed but I was so surprised to get the 10% that I just took it.

Lynfo

I guess i can believe that there are girls out there who wouldn't settle for a ring under 20K, but my jaw still dropped when I read that.
I mean, if someone handed me 20K I wouldn't run into the nearest jewellers and buy something with it - clothes shops maybe, jewellers, no.:D
I definitely wouldn't be comfortable wearing something that expensive. Once a ring looks nice and the person has put some thought into it, then cost shouldn't matter.
In saying that, I've been with my boyfriend for 7 years, living together for 4, so a brack ring would do at this stage!
If no proposal has been made by the end of the year I'm going to bite the bullet and propose myself.

tSubh Dearg

My ring cost just over €1K. We got it at an antique fair and it's a beautiful 18k yellow gold band with a 3 stone setting, a ruby paired by 2 small diamonds.

I love it! It was pretty much the exact ring we had both pictured. I know we could've gotten a discount on it but we were just so obvious about how much we liked the ring so that plan went out the window. I also love that it has some history as it was made in the 1950's and is in a really classic style.

At the time he paid for about half and I paid about half. (Though a couple of months later as I was starting a new job and strapped for cash he paid my rent for the month, so that was probably the balance that I paid for) I also got him an engagment present of his own, he got a silver spider made of amber and a spider trapped in amber which he loves, so were both happy.

elqu

Aquitaine wrote:

Elqu, if you determine how much someone loves you by how much they spent on an engagement ring then i think thats a problem. I have no idea nor care to know how much my engagement ring cost.

It's a fairly significant commitment Aquitaine. Don't you think? Says a lot if the man is quibbling over the ring... imo.

Fey!

Cyrus wrote:

as an aside where is the best place to buy diamonds, im guessing ireland isnt

You can get excellent diamonds in Ireland at good prices if you shop around. You also have somewhere to go back to if something goes wrong with the ring.

elqu

Fey! wrote:

You can get excellent diamonds in Ireland at good prices if you shop around. You also have somewhere to go back to if something goes wrong with the ring.

But WHERE fey WHERE??? How does one go about getting a good value diamond here? Is the wholesale places such as O'Connors in Harold's Cross? Or online like diamant.ie? Or antique shops? Would much prefer to buy in Ireland and have that safety net but boyfriend's adamant that Antwerp is the place to go. Am worried about feeling under pressure to buy etc etc. Dreamt last night that I had a ring and all the diamonds fell out except one! This is causing me stress!!

Beruthiel

elqu wrote:

Says a lot if the man is quibbling over the ring... imo.

Wow.
I'd say it says a lot, it says he's not a total ejit who falls for social pressures and what is 'supposed' to be the done thing.
To equate how much someone spends on you to what it says about them as a person, is quite shocking.

seastar

I'm one of those 'materialistic bitches' that people seem to abhor on this thread in that I'd love a beautiful ring with a fairly big diamond - as big as he can afford. And I'd have no problem going halves to get a more expensive one.

That said, if I do end up being proposed to and getting married, I'd like a small, simple wedding, low expense with close family and friends. My reasoning is that I will hopefully be wearing the ring for the rest of my life so I'd like to get one I really love.

magicbastarder

it's quite simple. he should spend as much on the ring as she is willing to spend on a reciprocal present for him.

Kinetic^

Beruthiel wrote:

Wow.
I'd say it says a lot, it says he's not a total ejit who falls for social pressures and what is 'supposed' to be the done thing.
To equate how much someone spends on you to what it says about them as a person, is quite shocking.

Well put B, I've got an onion ring here if you're willing?

daiixi

seastar wrote:

I'm one of those 'materialistic bitches' that people seem to abhor on this thread in that I'd love a beautiful ring with a fairly big diamond - as big as he can afford. And I'd have no problem going halves to get a more expensive one.

That said, if I do end up being proposed to and getting married, I'd like a small, simple wedding, low expense with close family and friends. My reasoning is that I will hopefully be wearing the ring for the rest of my life so I'd like to get one I really love.

No, those materialistic bitches people abhor are those who won't get engaged unless the ring cost over a certain amount and still want the huge lavish ceremony on top of that. Oh and who probably wouldn't offer to go halves.
There's no problem with wanting a gorgeous ring that you love and that is "affordable" topped off with a small tasteful wedding.

Kinetic^

elqu wrote:

But WHERE fey WHERE??? How does one go about getting a good value diamond here? Is the wholesale places such as O'Connors in Harold's Cross? Or online like diamant.ie? Or antique shops? Would much prefer to buy in Ireland and have that safety net but boyfriend's adamant that Antwerp is the place to go. Am worried about feeling under pressure to buy etc etc. Dreamt last night that I had a ring and all the diamonds fell out except one! This is causing me stress!!

Jesus, if the ring is causing you this much stress, are you sure you're going to be ok organising the actual event itself?

elqu

"Originally Posted by Beruthiel
Wow.
I'd say it says a lot, it says he's not a total ejit who falls for social pressures and what is 'supposed' to be the done thing.
To equate how much someone spends on you to what it says about them as a person, is quite shocking."


that is a ridiculous comment.

we all judge each other every day on far more superficial actions than the purchase or otherwise of an engagement ring.

you are jumping up an your high horse without bothering to really engage in any debate about what it is about. Or where the tradition has come from or why society has come to place importance on it.

these societal "pressures" as you call them, come from a very deep well of experience of the relations between men and women.

Aquitaine

I think this 'debate' could go on forever - i think people are broken down in to two groups 1. those who feel that the price of an engagement ring is important and 2. those that dont (including me).

no one is arguing that if you really like an engagement ring you should spend some more money on it, the point really is that people are being socially pushed into spening ridiculous amounts of money on a ring because some people think they should.