Home alone while you go to Tescos yes or no?

Tigress

I have a 9 1/2 year old son that wants now to stay at home while I do the weekly shopping. Do you think it is approbiate to leave a boy home alone while Mum does the weekly shopping?

Just want your opinions?

Noelie

No Not that young, anything could happen.
when you are shopping what does he do? does he just follow you around the shop, if so why not give him a list of things you need and let him get some of them, might make the shopping trips a little easier

Nevyn

No, 13 maybe but not at that age.

Not only a list of things but let him see if he can read food labels for salt and sugar content and place or orgin and take the time to talk to him about food and what you might plann as a famly to eat for the week.

My nearly 9 year old get a huge kick out of being allowed to help prepare dinner peeling and cuting up an stiring, why not try this with your's and get him to pick out something he would like to cook.

kmick

Id say its ok as long as you lay down some rules.

1) Dont answer door.
2) Dont let people in.
3) No Messing
4) Within 20 seconds of his mobile at all times.
5) No playing with fire/beer/fags/girls/drugs

Then ring half way through the Tesco visit to see how he is getting on. Let him know in no uncertain terms that if he pisses you off once he will be shopping with you until he is 16. If he breaks the rules then you stick firm unitl he is 12 then maybe another chance.

Once catch him out by coming home early to see what he is up to. If he is a boy like me at that age he is likely to be at some mischief.

dame

All kids are different but I think a 9 1/2 year old should be well able to look after himself for the hour or so it takes to do the shopping. I'm presuming you're not talking about doing it at a 24 hour Tesco and leaving him there for hours in the middle of the night though! Like last post said, give him some rules about not opening the door and not cooking anything until you get home. Chances are he'll still be sitting in the same spot as when you left, playing a game or watching telly. Not much harm can come to him in the space of an hour if he's in any way responsible and abides by the rules.

hshortt

12 and up would be ok in my family. Depends on your relationship with your son I guess. If he can handle it then previous posts are good.

Cheers

DublinWriter

Isn't it illegal in this country to leave any child under the age of 10 home alone?

Gurgle

Tigress wrote:

I have a 9 1/2 year old son that wants now to stay at home while I do the weekly shopping. Do you think it is approbiate to leave a boy home alone while Mum does the weekly shopping?

Just want your opinions?

He's 9 1/2, should be fine, though it really depends on where you live and how responsible he is.

KTRIC

DublinWriter wrote:

Isn't it illegal in this country to leave any child under the age of 10 home alone?

I thought it was 12

9 1/2 is still too young to be home alone. What if something serious happens in the house (like a fire or gas leak) and he doesn't know what to do. Kids can panic in situations like this.

Crea

No. Too young i'd say. Children that age don't have the maturity to deal with a crisis if one happens when you're away.

Beruthiel

I think it all depends on the child. You can pretty much tell at that age if they can be trusted to a certain degree.
Mine was smart enough and never really did anything totally stupid, so could be trusted.
She was very happy to just sit on the sofa and watch a movie with a treat. I would ring her every 10 mins to check up on her.
She stuck to the rules and never once broke them.
They were:
Never, ever answer the door.
Don't touch anything you shouldn't while I'm not there.
If there was ever a problem, call me.
She knew if a rule was broken she would be no longer allowed to stay home alone.
I can't remember at this stage when we started this, think it was around 10.

Kildrought

Originally Posted by DublinWriter
Isn't it illegal in this country to leave any child under the age of 10 home alone?

I thought it was 12

There is no legal minimum age at which you can leave a child alone, however should anything happen to a young child parents can and have been prosecuted for neglect.

Children under 16 however cannot have the care of another minor.

He's not going to come to any harm for going shopping and if you are not comfortable with him being at home alone, why do it?

iguana

Thaedydal wrote:

No, 13 maybe but not at that age.

Gosh the world has changed. I started babysitting other peoples children at 12. And it was night babysitting 8pm-1am was usual. By 13 I was doing it Friday and Saturday nights for several different families.

dame

iguana wrote:

Gosh the world has changed. I started babysitting other peoples children at 12. And it was night babysitting 8pm-1am was usual. By 13 I was doing it Friday and Saturday nights for several different families.

I agree, people can be over-protective nowadays. At 10 I was left minding three younger siblings for an hour or two at a time during the day. We had our few rules and nothing bad ever happened.

Nevyn

Everyone will make thier choices based on who they wre brought up what they think is best practice and what thier children are like.

Beelzebub

Maybe you could make shopping fun for him so that he'd want to go and help you?

http://www.gardenandhearth.com/Family-Activities/grocery_shopping.htm

Just a suggestion.

dame

No offence but a 9 1/2 year old boy is probably past the stage where he can be jollied along by helping with the shopping list or going to McD's first and whatever else that website is suggesting.

Tak3n

9 year olds arn't stupid...
He should be fine by himself.

Nevyn

dame wrote:

No offence but a 9 1/2 year old boy is probably past the stage where he can be jollied along by helping with the shopping list or going to McD's first and whatever else that website is suggesting.

You would be surpised what bribes and setting challenges can achieve.

Avns1s

Under no circumstance would I leave him at home. He's at that curious age!

Billiejo

Why not ask Social Services. They should be able to give the legal opinion.

Kildrought

No offence but a 9 1/2 year old boy is probably past the stage where he can be jollied along by helping with the shopping list

I'd disagree - I do voluntary work with children of this age, provided you use a bit of imagination almost anything can be made into a game that they will enjoy.

cmurph

just a question.....
my home was broken into a few weeks back on a saturday morning at 11.30am......if ur 9 and a half yr old was home alone when the burglars came and axed in the back door how would he cope??


way to young i say

kelle

Kildrought wrote:

Children under 16 however cannot have the care of another minor.

From the age of 9, my parents had me babysitting three younger brothers - from 10pm-12 once a week. They figured it was okay because up until then we had a 16-year-old babysitter who used to just sit on her arse while I put my brothers to bed and checked on them every few minutes. I was obviously a more responsible person.
OP, only you know how independent and responsible your son is to be left on his own. If you're happy, then maybe do a trial run - but if you're not don't.

RainyDay

Kildrought wrote:

Children under 16 however cannot have the care of another minor.

While I wouldn't disagree with this, I'm wondering about your source for this ruling?

IMHO, common sense would say that you'd be crazy to leave a 9-year-old alone - Is there any neighbours/friends he could stay with for an hour?

catspring

As has been said it depends on the child, and how mature he is. I was left at home for an hour or two from the age of 8 and never had any problems. If I were you I'd try it out for maybe just a half an hour to test the water and then take it from there.

Zynks

Depends on the child. Even between my two children one is very sensible and the other one is a threat to himself. I suspect those characteristics will continue, so there is likely be a different approach to each by the time they are 9.

greenkittie

cmurph wrote:

just a question.....
my home was broken into a few weeks back on a saturday morning at 11.30am......if ur 9 and a half yr old was home alone when the burglars came and axed in the back door how would he cope??


way to young i say

To be fair, if burglars axed my back door and I was home alone I wouldn't be able to cope at 20! So i don't think thats much of a valid point.

Nevyn

A grown up can cope with the trama of that better then a child would .

\m/_(>_<)_\m/

Tigress wrote:

I have a 9 1/2 year old son that wants now to stay at home while I do the weekly shopping. Do you think it is approbiate to leave a boy home alone while Mum does the weekly shopping?

Just want your opinions?

i think if you did you would be brought up on charges, and rightly so as well.

greenkittie

Thaedydal wrote:

A grown up can cope with the trama of that better then a child would .

I don't think so, children get over things easyer imo.

lellyos

Your 9 1/2 year old may be fine on his own while you go shopping for an hour. But would he be ok on his own for 3-4 hours? What if something happened to delay you...you can't predict what would happen so if you have any worries I wouldn't leave him, you don't want to have 'what ifs' later on.

To solve the problem use internet shopping. Your son might be on for doing that!

cmurph

greenkittie wrote:

I don't think so, children get over things easyer imo.

to be fair greenkittie, i think you would be able to handle it much better than a 9 year old child...don't you?
kids do get over some things easier, but not a trama like being broken into....
i came home when the burglar was in my home, he ran out when i came in, i am fine about this at least we were not hurt but my daughter still worries and is afraid...
but also another thing, if something like this did happen, firstly i wonder how would we as a parent feel knowing that we had let the child home alone, i know at some stage we have to trust our kids and let them be alone, i personally think 9 is too young.

leeroybrown

I'm not a parent but I think that it very much depends on the child. A lot of children wouldn't be mature enough to look after themselves at 9 1/2 but many would. When I was 9 years old I was trusted to make my own way to school in an fairly urban area and look after myself for a few hours. Lots of people I grew up with would have been treated the same.

I find it ironic that children seem to be more streetwise at a younger age yet adults seem to be increasingly more protective and worried about them.

iguana

\m/_(>_<)_\m/ wrote:

i think if you did you would be brought up on charges, and rightly so as well.

If you are going to make such outrageous claims please provide some links to back them up.

Nevyn

IF the child gets into difficulty and there is not a support system in place or a case for neglect can be made do an incedent then yes charges of neglect can be pressed.

mumof2

Personally I think its too young to chance at that age. I would be so worried in case of a fire/breakin etc. I don't think i could do it until they were at least 12 - 13, (meaning the youngest will still be 10 - 11yrs).

No, I wouldnt risk it, use the internet option for Tesco! Its worth the 5.99 delivery charge, if it means your child is safe - at home WITH u!!

Good luck.

cmurph

leeroybrown wrote:

I'm not a parent but I think that it very much depends on the child. A lot of children wouldn't be mature enough to look after themselves at 9 1/2 but many would. When I was 9 years old I was trusted to make my own way to school in an fairly urban area and look after myself for a few hours. Lots of people I grew up with would have been treated the same.

I find it ironic that children seem to be more streetwise at a younger age yet adults seem to be increasingly more protective and worried about them.

i think alot of the reason why is there are so many risks now a days...maybe they were there when we were growing up but i don't think so....
when i was young[i'm only 30] we used be left wander through the fields for the day, coming home in time for dinner and no harm would come of us ,but in this society we live in, all parents are afraid their kids will be abducted by paedophiles ,or one of the many other dangers that is out there for our young children....so indeed leeroybrown it may be ironic that as parents we are more protective ,but as society shows we have a real need to be.

Kildrought

Children under 16 however cannot have the care of another minor.

To be more accurate this should perhaps read "should not" rather than "cannot" since it is entirely possible that this could happen, even if not recommended.

leeroybrown

cmurph wrote:

i think alot of the reason why is there are so many risks now a days...maybe they were there when we were growing up but i don't think so....
when i was young[i'm only 30] we used be left wander through the fields for the day, coming home in time for dinner and no harm would come of us ,but in this society we live in, all parents are afraid their kids will be abducted by paedophiles ,or one of the many other dangers that is out there for our young children....so indeed leeroybrown it may be ironic that as parents we are more protective ,but as society shows we have a real need to be.

I agree to a certain degree but at times I think that modern parental protectiveness smacks of those Daily Mail headlines where the harbingers of doom tell us that 'our children aren't safe' and that we'll all be killed by 'hoodie wearing thugs'. The only risk that has significantly increased in the case of a 9.5 year old alone in a house for an hour is that of being stigmatised by your peers as a bad parent. Maybe the real answer to the OP's question is that it's not safe for that reason...

kelle

This is the NSPCC's guidelines on this matter - I'm not sure if it also applies in this country.
http://www.nspcc.org.uk/helpandadvice/parentsandcarers/homealone/homealone_wda35965.html

Kildrought

That's useful advice - thanks kelle, I'll keep that link.