Yet another boy meets girl...type scenario *yawn*

LegacyUser

People on this website often appear to often be quite helpful...soooo here goes:

Know this girl for about a year now. Meet her out and about at friends parties, and occassionally a sports club we're involved with.

Every time we meet we get on really well. She smiles alot, laughs; in other words I think its fair to say we get on pretty good! A number of times when I've asked her she has come out with myself and some other mixed group of friends to parties and gigs etc. We see each other once or twice a month at most.

Ordinarily I would have no problem just asking her out. Simple as that. Thing is that I've probably asked out in the region of over a dozen girls over the last two years; it always ends up the same old story...a plain "no" (which at least is direct and honest) or more annoyingly a lame excuse. Or I'm too relaxed about it and it never goes anywhere...so as you can imagine I'm getting fairly tired and downhearted. So I can't take much more rejections...(Its not like I'm a bad catch, good career, quite good looking IMO, adventurous etc)

Anyway. This girl must have an inkling that I'm interested. She is single and has been for as long as I've known her...I suppose at this stage we're "friends" but not so much as to make it into the "just friends" never go back zone. We also went for a drink before (just met coincidentally and decided to go for one) and everything was cool, good conversation, laughs etc...but she has never really made any other real obvious suggestions that she is interested (although neither have I probably).

Anyway I was thinking of calling her (ie not texting) to see if she wants to go to a gig this week...she has similar(ish) tastes in music as myself.

Will this come across wrong? ie that its a bit out of the blue. I like to be pretty direct and owing to a hectic timetable at the moment I'm unlikely to meet this girl again for another month or two without specifically arranging it.
Go for it, and risk coming across as desperate, and possibly lose a decent friend? Or, wait and see if a better opportunity comes up (it probably will but not for a long while yet.)

What say you all?

limklad

Unreg58925 wrote:

People on this website often appear to often be quite helpful...soooo here goes:

Know this girl for about a year now. Meet her out and about at friends parties, and occassionally a sports club we're involved with.

Every time we meet we get on really well. She smiles alot, laughs; in other words I think its fair to say we get on pretty good! A number of times when I've asked her she has come out with myself and some other mixed group of friends to parties and gigs etc. We see each other once or twice a month at most.

Ordinarily I would have no problem just asking her out. Simple as that. Thing is that I've probably asked out in the region of over a dozen girls over the last two years; it always ends up the same old story...a plain "no" (which at least is direct and honest) or more annoyingly a lame excuse. Or I'm too relaxed about it and it never goes anywhere...so as you can imagine I'm getting fairly tired and downhearted. So I can't take much more rejections...(Its not like I'm a bad catch, good career, quite good looking IMO, adventurous etc)

Anyway. This girl must have an inkling that I'm interested. She is single and has been for as long as I've known her...I suppose at this stage we're "friends" but not so much as to make it into the "just friends" never go back zone. We also went for a drink before (just met coincidentally and decided to go for one) and everything was cool, good conversation, laughs etc...but she has never really made any other real obvious suggestions that she is interested (although neither have I probably).

Anyway I was thinking of calling her (ie not texting) to see if she wants to go to a gig this week...she has similar(ish) tastes in music as myself.

Will this come across wrong? ie that its a bit out of the blue. I like to be pretty direct and owing to a hectic timetable at the moment I'm unlikely to meet this girl again for another month or two without specifically arranging it.
Go for it, and risk coming across as desperate, and possibly lose a decent friend? Or, wait and see if a better opportunity comes up (it probably will but not for a long while yet.)

What say you all?

Do not let the other girls who said "no" to hold you back. Use it to your advantage, learn from it. Look at it from a different angle. Think about the way you felt or ask them. You are not desperate, you do like her. Approach her the way she like to. Do not push her, or get upset if she turns you down. If she turns you down then you know where you stand with her. There is lots of guys that got turn down by their friends and still be friends. But that depends in how you reacts.
You know he girl, ans she know you so ask her. You be regretting it if you don't. If you have read the previous posts, it is easy to search what others have said to someone like you, you will see the same advice.
Good luck.

BrandonBlock

Unreg58925 wrote:

(Its not like I'm a bad catch, good career, quite good looking IMO, adventurous etc)

Re-read this line, I dont know you but reading that makes you sound like a complete self-righteous twat.. maybe thats why girls are rejecting you so much?

limklad

BrandonBlock wrote:

Re-read this line, I dont know you but reading that makes you sound like a complete self-righteous twat.. maybe thats why girls are rejecting you so much?

Not very helpful is it!!

sinjin_smythe

BrandonBlock wrote:

Re-read this line, I dont know you but reading that makes you sound like a complete self-righteous twat.. maybe thats why girls are rejecting you so much?

Whats your problem hes not over stating anything in that line. OP dont listen to that, youve got to have a certain amount of confidence in these situations, just as long as you dont overstep it.

limklad

weedhead wrote:

Whats your problem hes not over stating anything in that line. OP dont listen to that, youve got to have a certain amount of confidence in these situations, just as long as you dont overstep it.

I agree.
There was one guy in school who lack everything in confidence but manage to ask a girl out (she by the way was hot :ouch) and she said yes, She thought he was cute and she like the way he like her. They went for three years as far as i know, I lost touch!!
So ask her out.

Fanny Cradock

BrandonBlock wrote:

Re-read this line, I dont know you but reading that makes you sound like a complete self-righteous twat.. maybe thats why girls are rejecting you so much?

Re-read this line ^. I don't know you, but reading that makes you sound like a judgemental twat.

OP, Go for it, man. Fortune favours the brave and all that. Best of Luck!

Skellington

Unreg58925 wrote:

Go for it, and risk coming across as desperate, and possibly lose a decent friend? Or, wait and see if a better opportunity comes up

Go for it before someone else does, then you'll hate yourself. "He who dares" and all that stuff. If she is a good friend there shouldn't be any long lasting problems, bar a few awkward moments for a couple of weeks. Do it:p .

LegacyUser

BrandonBlock - If I came across like a self-righteous twat thats fair enough but the post itself and particularly the title should have kind of suggested that I wasn't taking myself all THAT seriously...its only a web forum! (sorry Boardsies!)

Anyway, thanks for the advice everyone else...I know all this stuff has been asked before...and I've read alot of it. Hopefully it'll go well for a change.

I've just kinda realised how much more serious other stuff in this forum is so I might just leave it up to the people with the proper problems.

Black Swan

Unreg58925 wrote:

Anyway I was thinking of calling her (ie not texting) to see if she wants to go to a gig this week...she has similar(ish) tastes in music as myself.

Yes, call don't text. Keep it simple. Don't plan a lavish day or evening. "Hey, you like (such and such) music?" She says yes. "Well, I like it too...Got a couple of tickets (for time and date) and was wondering if you would like to go and hear some grand sounds?" She thinks about it, checks her schedule, then answers.

Oh, if you really fancy this girl, and she goes to this gig with you, may I suggest that you plan for more time with her in your busy schedule? A lot more time! And don't rush it. Do a lunch. A coffee. A film and a bite. And most important, listen to her, don't do all the talking.

Beruthiel

BrandonBlock wrote:

Re-read this line, I dont know you but reading that makes you sound like a complete self-righteous twat.. maybe thats why girls are rejecting you so much?

Someone didn't read the forum charter.
One week ban.
B

The rest of you lot should know better than to feed the troll.

Kell

Unreg58925 wrote:

What say you all?

*Step 1- remove head from rear end
*Step 2- ask her out
*Step 3- deal with consequences

I say who gives a flying fúck about whether she is sending signals or not. If you like what you see, ask her out. Theres not point in thinking its any more complicated**, because it isnt.

K-

*Mods should really make this simple to use, results (independant) guaranteed way to ask someone out a sticky. Then mods could just refer people like the OP, gender indifferent, to Kell's sticky and close the thread.

**Save when it comes to Kell's sticky. I can still dream

Beruthiel

Kell wrote:

Mods should really make this simple to use, results (independant) guaranteed way to ask someone out a sticky. Then mods could just refer people like the OP, gender indifferent, to Kell's sticky and close the thread

You could always add your thoughts on that particular subject to the Rules and Handy links thread stickied at the top.