Assurance Required

Layla1981

going out with this guy since november. i know he has good few girlie mates -grand. i get jealous though which annoys me so much. just there one of his mates said to my boyf we have to call to see the girls havent been in ages. he hasnt visited them like that since we have been together. before i started going out with him i went with him and a few other to their place for tea and like that was it they were just chatting and ****. like he says i don't need to be jealous. i don't want to get in his way in any shape or form. boards users give me some affirmations!! or something to say to myself to stop me acting like a maggot.

Black Swan

Layla1981 wrote:

i get jealous though which annoys me so much... he hasnt visited them like that since we have been together.

It would seem from what you said that he is interested in you and no other? Encourage him to see his friends and go with him. What matter if they be female or male friends? But watch the jeolousy. It can destroy a relationship.

Layla1981

i know - i should hold my tongue. if its meant to be its meant to be. i have male friends i am sure he feels the same way only that he holds his tongue... thanks

Ruu_Old

Be careful indeed, you can end up tormenting yourself. Focus on your relationship, make it grow and forget the jealousy. If you want to, go out and join him but give him a bit of space with his friends too.

cooperguy

There are lots of guys with female friends, some can be very close. Thjere is no need to be jealous. It could ruin the relationship if you are overly-jealous.

Borat_Sagdiyev

Don't worry, YOU'RE the person he has decided to go out with, if he wanted to be with one of his mates he would have tried to be. YOU'RE his girlfriend, not any of his mates. You're the person he takes to the cinema etc...

Jealousy is a waste of time.

little lady

My ex has loads of female friends and would be quite tactile with them. I was suspious and quietly jealous at the beginning but, he never hid them or how he acted around them from me and I realised very quickly that this is how he had always acted with them. We did talk about it and he explain the situation to me and all was fine. He went out with them with and without me. I trusted him because he never hid it from me.

If you have a problem with it talk to your bf about it but not in an accusing way, but I would say, if he’s telling you about them and introducing you then it is all above board and you have nothing to worry about.

Dutchology

My fiancee also has a lot of female friends (a number of which fancy him). Sometimes I do feel a little insecure, for example when I'm at home or working, and I know another female is getting attention from my man. There are times, even when I'm there, that they are all over him. Men can be quite naive when it comes to noticing "come on" signals from women, especially ones who are their friends...

Sometimes when I'm not out, and he goes back to a friend's house he may end up sleeping in the same bed as them, but I completely trust him and that does not bother me. He seems to have always had more female than male friends, and loves them all, hugs and kisses shared, but that doesn't bother me either. It is he and I who are together, I love him and he loves me.

Trust is an important thing. Unless he is going to see them without telling you either before or afterwards, or seems quite hesitant to bring you out with him when he is meeting his female friends, there is no need to worry at all.

Each of you are individuals, with your own friends and your own lives, that is all simply brought together to add up to what you have with eachother. Love, trust and respect are the fundamental basis for any relationship, remember that. If you are missing one of these elements, it's a shambles...

Shinners23

One of my best friends started seeing a girl about two years ago. She never lets him come out with us and the only time he can come meet up with me is when she's away.

I've been friends with him since I was 4 yrs old. I never fancied him and I'm not about to. I miss him soo much and I blame her.

So don't let yourself become a wedge between your boyfriend and his mates. Its not fair on anyone.

CathyMoran

Most of my best friends are male, I may love them but it is as family, not in any other way, I do hug them but that is as far as it goes...just do not act the jelous girlfriend then you should be fine.

dame

They're just his friends....if you try to stop him going/insist on tagging along/question him endlessly/get jealous, then they'll be friends for a lot longer than you'll be his girlfriend!

I_and_I

Just a wild guess here but youre a taurus rite?

poobum

my best friend is a girl(im a guy) and we are overly close probebly! like as in she wud always be sitting on my lap etc...but there realy is nothing behind it! mates can be just that! mates! i would never think of her in that way! and i have had girlfriends who i thought were insecure about it, but eentully they realsied the truth! i liked them and no1 else! why else would i of been with them at those times! especially if a girl i supposedly liked was coming on to me!

Villaricos

aww hon for your own sake and sanity dont go down the 'jealous of girls mates' road, its not a nice one. seriously if you start getting annoyed bout it, it will only annoy your boyfriend and put a strain on the relationship.
Whether any of the girls even like him like that is irrelevant also, he has chosen YOU! He like you, dont give him reason to doubt that.
Seriously an ex of mine was insanely jealous over a male mate of mine (im a girl obv!) and it drove a serious wedge between us because I just got pissed off having to state that he was only a friend over and over again.