When's it gonna stop?

marshmallow

Okay, this is not as serious as some other threads in here but it would help for me to just get it out. My friends are sick to death of this story and I don't blame them. It's very very very long so you don't have to read it and congrats to whoever does!

So here goes...

I'm 16, guy involved (let's call him Tom) is 15, both in 4th year in school.

So, Tom and I have been friends for about 2 years or so. He's my friend's cousin and we have plenty of mutual friends.
We were best friends: spent loadsa time together on our own, talked for hours on the phone. After a couple weeks of unendless time together we both realised we liked each other but neither of us said anything to the other. It was quite obvious though.

In March, it was his birthday and had a gaff party. Long story short he was off his trolley and I was completely sober, and we scored. I was unsure if he'd even remember the night! I sent a text 'thanx for tonight, was just a bitta fun' which confused the hell outta him! He rang me at about 4am and we were talking for hours. (I wasn't sure what I wanted.)We met up on our own a couple days after and we kissed again. The following day, we started going out.

So we're going out and things are grand. He went abroad for 4days during Easter holidays. We'd been going out 2weeks at this stage.. Heard nothing from him and was okay with that until his last night there and got a text to say he'd scored another girl. (supposedly drunken) Now it wasn't a 'I'm sorry, I dont know what happend/I've to tell you something'. It was 'I've just scored this deadly 19yr old bird!'

So he gets home, my friend rings him to confirm it with him. I ring him and ask wtf happened etc. We fight and I say it's finished. He gives me a day or two to 'cool off' and then rings me to see if I'm going into town with our friends. We're all in town and it's kinda awkward. I ended up crying at one point and explained how much he'd hurt me, etc. But we ended up kissing. So we start going out again after the following day. We forget about the drunken score and move on. So my birthday comes and goes and things are dandy.


Right, this is getting far too detailed so I'll make long story short! (shorter)

After this, it's rumoured he's going to break up with me so I confront him. He says no, never crossed his mind. Days later he tells mutual friends that he's breaking up with me. So I get there first and break up with him. (end of May)

We sit the Junior, we're friends, it's grand. He was going away for the summer so that was the reason for the 'break'. He wants to score day before he goes abroad and I say no. He went away on four different trips with only a day between each trip but I saw him each day he was home. 6weeks after the break up we kiss again. Few days later he kisses our friend (who's an ex of another friend) but no-one knows til months later.

So we're just scoring whenever he's home. At one point though, we have a massive fight during the summer. We're both going out one night and he says we shouldn't score so we agree to it. But during the night of course he wants to score! So I said no. Initially. When the last song started playing I went over to kiss him. In the next few weeks, he says he wants me back because he's back for good after all his trips during the summer. I'm quite hesitant because I think he just 'wants his bit'. I make him prove to me that he cares about me which he did so we start going out (again!)

Things are good until I go away for Halloween. I come home and am told he was half-naked giving half-naked girls massages. We had a fight over it and he doesn't realise that it's not right! We forget about that and things are grand again. Middle of November at this stage and get a txt one day 'we need to talk.' hmmmmmm wonder what that means!
So I agreed to meet up and get it over with. Got no reason. Was very unexpected! Everyone was in shock, I think more than I!

Talking 3weeks later and gives the reason that 'I cared about him more than he did me and didn't want to play me along' Can someone explain how that makes sense?!???

Week later and things get flirty. End up kissing yet again. So we're on the scoring buzz again. On a night out together Sat before xmas and I start dancing with him, he just rejects it, says we should stop scoring. (There was a bet involved in this)

At a party on New Years together. He'd been trying to flirt with me all day but I just burned him. At midnight, we kissed. We were together yesterday and enjoyed each others' company a lot. Today he put his arms round me now and again and just kissed me on the lips.

We're in a play together so seeing each other everyday for a while. Once it's over I'm curious to see how often the contact will be then. People just don't understand why we keep scoring. He tries to act all 'hard' infront of everyone else quite a lot by telling me to p*ss off or shut up, just something petty. I asked him today why he was all physical on our own but just verbal abuse infront of everyone else and he just ignored it, didn't know what I was on about.

*******************************************************


K, I wrote this on the 3rd of January at 1am but went against posting it. It's driving me mad so just wanna get it down in words.

To update from past 2weeks..

He said Sat 6th of Jan that he wanted to stop scoring, 2 seconds after he scored me.. So play finished on Monday night. We wern't in contact all week. Get a txt from him, which is quite rare, asking how I am the following Tues. We end up on the phone for about 6hrs til all hrs! He says he misses our phone calls and wants to see me tomorrow. So we meet up the following day. Tries to kiss me all day and I try to resist to prove to myself that I can. Ends up walking me home and I give in. He rings me when he gets home and again on phone 'til all hrs. Was with a group of friends last night including him and I just wasnt myself at all.

LundiMardi

There is only one solution.... kill yourselves!!!! No, actually, let me kill you both!

No wonder your friends are sick of this story, i've only heard it once and want to inflict serious pain on multiple people.

cork1

first of all ive heard of complicated relationships but that takes the cake.next you should do your best to decide once and for all as if he goes away again and you get involved with someone else and he comes back then your stuck between two relationships.and then the complicated relatioship gets even more complicated.

challengemaster

Stop being a fool and getting back together with him. he obviously doesnt give a sh!t about you if he's done it so many times. Cop on and break up, this time - for good.

Mojito

Life is so simple when your 15.

Selphie

I agree! I know that it can be pretty hard to break loose, especially when things have been going on as long as this have but the thing is - in answer to the title of your post - it's never going to stop, it's pretty obvious, considering the length of the story. He's clearly just using you for someone to score with and leading you along.
You're just going to keep getting your heart broken and becoming more and more confused and wrapped in. So cut your losses and get out of it now. You'll feel like crap but it'll be worth it in the end. You can't keep on like this, honestly.

Nightwish

Stand up to the guy - he's just using you. You won't ever be able to have any relationships with any other guy while this is going on.

Ruu_Old

Good grief OP, you are tormenting yourself here. You are being used, need to stand up for yourself and move on. Don't be a doormat for anyone. Just get out of this mess for good.

passive

Problem; you're 16.

Solution; not being 16 anymore.

Advice; avoid somehow stopping time.

(less smartassy response; he sounds like a dickhead... seriously, nicer people will come along. also, seems like you've given a lot of detail for a registered user... maybe reconsider unless you're certain nobody you know browses this site?)

Faith

You're letting him walk all over you and get away with it. He boasts to you that he's kissed other girls while you're supposedly dating. He jerks you around, kissing you when he wants to, then dumping you when it suits him. He's an absolute asshole.

Tbh, 15 year old boys are generally best avoided (although, of course, there are exceptions). I went through my fair share of them and it never went well. Stop being a doormat and stop kissing him. Stop taking him back all the time. He has absolutely no respect for you.

LundiMardi: It's great for you that you've clearly never gone through anything like this, but keep your smart ass comments to yourself. It's not easy being a 16 year old girl at the best of times. I was one not too long ago, and I remember all too clearly the pain of liking guys who didn't like me back, or who messed me around.

LundiMardi

Faith wrote:

LundiMardi: It's great for you that you've clearly never gone through anything like this, but keep your smart ass comments to yourself. It's not easy being a 16 year old girl at the best of times. I was one not too long ago, and I remember all too clearly the pain of liking guys who didn't like me back, or who messed me around.

I didn't realize that the pain and hurt of a relationship or lack there of was limited to 16 year old girls, or girls in general for that matter. As much as i love a good sob story please refrain from giving me the full details. I'm sure it was very traumatic for you at the time blah blah.

OP - you're 16, you're not a complete dumbass... Cop on a little. You're certainly not helping yourself in this situation.

Trinity

When is it going to stop? - When you stop it!

Oh to be 16 again. Hes wrecking your head, you have spent enough time on this. I was there when i was 16 so i wont give you the age lecture you have your whole life ahead of you. (but its true!)

Seriously though you are too young for this hassle - it should be fun.

Please dont start off your relationships like this or allowing yourself to be treated badly as you will find the rest of your relationships in the future and when your older may start to follow the same pattern. And believe me if your head is wrecked now with this one you are in for a rude awakening if you enter a bad relationship when you are older and there is more than kissing involved.

So sit down and write yourself a list of qualities in a guy that you will accept and the type of treatment you wont and stick to it.

Start off young and you will get a whole load more respect for it than wasting years with wasters.

Insect Overlord

Dump him. Simple as that. You're not gonna get any sympathy from anyone if you're willing to let him treat you like that for as long as he has. Find someone else to be your boyfriend, and stop letting him kiss you. It'll teach him a lesson too.

LegacyUser

He's SO using you... but the dude clearly doesn't respect you and you're being 'easy' for him, always giving in. If you don't just force yourself to end things completely, then when you're a bit older, you might look back and think 'd'oh!'. He's a young guy who doesn't appear to want to be in a committed relationship with you (if he did, then he wouldn't keep doing what he's doing). Who knows what will happen in the future, if you tell him now, 'NO'. At least he might have gained respect for you.

LegacyUser

For god sake, get rid of this loser. Why are you wasting your time? My god, cop on will you. He's just using you, and I'm sorry to be so harsh but I don't understand what you find so complicated about this.
He's making the rules telling you that yous can't 'score' (I'm assuming this means kiss?) and then when he feels like it, he breaks this rule.
Get away now and have some dignity, don't let some fool mess you around.

Sparky

Simple answer. He's using you when it suits HIM. And behind it all he probably thinks he is impressing his other male friends by scoring alot.
You deserve better than that. If any decent lad had any feelings for you:
1. They would be honest with you and tell it to you straight that they don't want a realationship and don't want you hurt.
2. If they do/did have feelings for you, wouldn't be scoring every "bird" that comes in his direction.

You're only 16, don't let it get you down, don't worry about it.
Honestly, don't! Find some other lucky lad who will respect you.

sweet-rasmus

you have to stop going back to him. he is 15 and not ready to commit to anything, which just leads to you getting hurt, and your friends being sick of the story. be strong.

Beruthiel

marshmallow
Could you be more of a doormat?

When's it gonna stop?

To answer this question, it will stop the very second you grow a backbone, scrap whatever self respect you have left together and never allow this bloke one more second of your time.
I know that can be difficult to do at age 16, but come on! It's as plain as the nose on your face what has to be done here.

Lundi wrote:

There is only one solution.... kill yourselves!!!! No, actually, let me kill you both!

Lundi,
You're here long enough to know better

Sam Vimes

Faith wrote:

Tbh, 15 year old boys are generally best avoided (although, of course, there are exceptions).

useful advice for the catholic church

OP, to use a ricki lake expression, you gotta dump that zero and get yourself a hero.

but seriously, nothing good is coming from you associating with this guy. something good might come of it when hes a few years older and less of a f*cktard but probably not. best just stay away from him or at least ignore his attempts to mess with your head again