Strange cycle...

LegacyUser

Like most guys in a long term relationship i like my gf to give me the "monthy text" to make sure everything is okay... I dont think she knows it but i always make a mental note of the dates so i know when to expect it etc...

So last night we were gettin a little raunchy on the couch and i tried to initiate sex when she said, 'i cant', i said grand and thought nothing about it.
Then last night i was thinking about dates and i counted back and did some maths and something was'nt right... Its only been 20 days since her last one..

So basically i'm asking why a girl would prepare herself 8 days in advance...? Its got me kinda paranoid in case she's hiding something, (she's been acting strange over the past few months) also the sex is very rare these days, once or twice a month.

Is this normal or are there other (menstral) reasons for preparing this early...?

LegacyUser

How long have you been going out with her? Can you ask her...? Surely your communication should be fine to ask her that?

hunnymonster

the "monthly text" is a new one on me. I can see why it might be reassuring though.


Women's cycles can be all over the place. If I am not taking any hormonal contraception my cycle varies between 25 and 34 days. This however is unusual and if this is the case with your GF she should see a doctor because most women should have regular cycles. Taking the pill should make a woman's cycle absolutely regular (28 days).


How long have you been going out. Is is just a case that the honeymoon period is coming to an end? Some women (and men) don't have high sex drives. In new relationships this can be masked by desire for the new partner but over time sex could become less often. Alternatively, things like stress can dampen desire for short periods.

The short answer is it could be that she has an irregular cycle but it could also be that she just wasn't in the mood.


As a side issue, Why do you not have sex when she has her menses? It's a bit more messy, but sex is messy enough anyway. It's something worth exploring.

LegacyUser

Cheesedude: A year and a half, and ya i should ask her but it could be a little wierd, what, with me keeping tracks on her cycle....

hunnymonster wrote:

The short answer is it could be that she has an irregular cycle but it could also be that she just wasn't in the mood.

No she has her messies like clockwork so i think i'll have to take the latter of the above, (she was'nt in the mood).
Damn...

As a side issue, Why do you not have sex when she has her menses? It's a bit more messy, but sex is messy enough anyway. It's something worth exploring.

Not for me thanks.

secret_squirrel

hunnymonster wrote:

As a side issue, Why do you not have sex when she has her menses? It's a bit more messy, but sex is messy enough anyway. It's something worth exploring.

QFT. Its only an issue if you make it one. At the end of the day whats the difference between white/clear fluid and a reddish one? Not a lot imo.

King of Kings

hunnymonster wrote:

As a side issue, Why do you not have sex when she has her menses? It's a bit more messy, but sex is messy enough anyway. It's something worth exploring.

i wonder that too. i was only one of 2 of my friends that had no issue during their gf's period. I think it was mostly the guy driving the lack of activity. It bewildered me - esp whne they called the 2 of us sick.;)

LegacyUser

if i tried it on with my girlfriend and she said no and didn't give a reason, i'd be pissed off!

kizzyr

LOL at the "monthly text". I'd go mad if my boyfriend expected me to send him a text every time I got my period just to let him know that I wasn't pregnant. If I was then he'd find out pretty damn soon. Also talk about expecting the worst all of the time. Don't you use adequate protection when you're having sex? If you are then wouldn't you know if the condom split or wouldn't she tell you that the pill may not be working at that time due to sickness, late taking it etc etc
Re: her saying "I can't"... no big mystery maybe she just didn't want to have sex. Maybe she has a bout of candida and if you're not using condoms if you have sex you'll get it from her and then be passing it back and forth to each other. Also why on earth wouldn't you have sex with her when she has her period Sex is messy whenever you do it so her having her period isn't going to make it any worse, it will limit a little of what you can do but thats it. Its also great for lessening the period pains;)
** heads off but still amused at the monthly text and her "preparing" herself for it:) *

simu

kizzyr wrote:

LOL at the "monthly text". I'd go mad if my boyfriend expected me to send him a text every time I got my period just to let him know that I wasn't pregnant.

Yeah, that is just plain weird and most people in a long term relationship don't do it. Anyway, the usual answer replies: ask your gf because how would anyone here know tbh?

Shelli

My boyfriend knows when I'm due and that, he remembers roughly around when i'm, like the middle of the month..... so I don't think it'd be weird if you asked her why she said no, you don't have to tell her you were counting the exact days or anything.

I'm glad my boyf kept track, becuase i'm friggin useless and had no clue when I was due a visit from Auntie Flo. He was the one who pointed out to me that I was fairly late and lo and behold.......test was positive.

As for sex while menustrating, I don't really have a problem with it too much, sometimes when the moment takes ya it doesn't matter what "state" your in. Anyway, when it can be messy, sex in the shower is lots of fun!
I do prefer not to though, I just generally feel icky all over, unattractive and bloated, not much to put you in the mood TBH.

kizzyr

simu wrote:

Yeah, that is just plain weird and most people in a long term relationship don't do it. Anyway, the usual answer replies: ask your gf because how would anyone here know tbh?

Also wouldn't raging PMT be a great indicator that she was due her period soon? that and the fact that the local Spar / Centra (delete as appropiate) would have its entire stock of chocolate in your fridge:D

Slutmonkey57b

Your GF is having an affair.

Seriously, how the fck would we know? Ask her!

Strokesfan

I think you should respect the fact that she did not want to do anything with you on this occasion - it means nothing in particular... Poor girl to not want to do anything one night and all this concern about it

Bottle_of_Smoke

meh ignore it as a once off but if it persists ask her why

kittenkiller

It could have been a short cycle or it could be as simple as she hadn't shaved her legs of was due a wax or something.
Chill man!

Either that or she's cheating on you with your best friend... or doesn't fancy you anymore... or has some sort of horrible easily transmitted rash... or it was too soon after eating and she was over-full... or she wasn't in the mood... or feeling a little self-conscious... or.... something good was about to start on tv and she didn't want to miss it... or ... or... or.... Ask her if it's really bothering you, if not just let it go.

Unless she's a borads.ie user no one posting here knows why she wasn't up for it on that particular night.

Failing that you could try sneaking in to her house and checking the bin inthe bathroom for "evidence".

kizzyr

I was talking about this thread with my boyfriend today. He too was rather amused at the "monthly text" idea. When I told him the rest of the details of the thread and that some people said the girlfriend of the OP was probably having an affair he said that he thought maybe not. Yes there is a chance she is but maybe there is more going on in her life than just thinking about sex with her BF, as the previous FM said maybe she hadn't shaved her legs, wasn't on for it then etc etc. However given that it has been going on (or not more to the point) for a while he pointed out that maybe she was really stressed about something at work or another part of her life and due to that is in no way feeling sexy. That happens to us all, and those who are in long term relationships are very likely to have had this happen to them. I know there was a time a few years back when all hell was breaking loose at work and it was horrible to be there. Sex and feeling sexy was the last thing on my mind for a while. I changed jobs and there was a few hectic months when my boyfriend hardly made it inside the front door before I was ripping the clothes off him and pinning him to the stairs. ....it was a great few months
OP talk to your girlfriend and ask her if she is ok. Don't say you're dying to get your leg over so if she could just sort it and get upstairs as soon as, talk to her and see whats going on. .....but please drop the text business eh?!

embee

Maybe she just wasn't in the mood.

Maybe she is cheating on you and has an STI.

Maybe her period has knocked off kilter a bit (which happens to practically EVERY woman at some stage in her life).

Maybe she is pregnant, and sex is the last thing on her mind.

Maybe she missed her last cycle and lied to you about it to stop you worrying (and checking up on her).

Maybe she just wanted to kiss and cuddle.

Maybe she didn't want to have sex because she may have been close to ovulation (entirely possible given the day of her cycle she was on) and she just didn't fancy taking a risk (even with protection).

Maybe she knows about the fact that you keep tabs on her cycle, she knows you none-too-subtley text her about it, and she's miffed.

Maybe she's turned gay.

Who knows? We sure as hell don't.

There are a lot of maybes here. There is only one definite.

You definitely shouldn't be asking a load of strangers what could possibly be going on in your girlfriends head. Its her you should be asking.