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Lack of confidence when out.

  • 20-01-2007 6:13am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I'm a regular poster but I would rather go anonomous for this. I dont know where to start, basically I broke up with my ex girlfriend about 10 months ago and I'm over her,thats fine. I haven't really been trying to score any girls when I went out until a few weeks ago. I've been out several times to Dublins best known night club for scoring girls with no success.

    This is where I would appreciate some advice, if i bump into some girl at the bar I have no proble starting a convesation with her if she is interested in talking back. I'm a confident enough guy in most aspects of life I'm not shy talking to people I dont know in college and I'm the type of person who says hello and has a conversation with random people I dont know on the street.

    I gurss that my problem is that I dont have the confidence to go up to some random girl who I think is good looking in a club and start dancing with her as my mates do!! I'd go up and start dancing with some random person for the laugh, as in someone I'm not interested in but when it comes to a girl that I think is hot I just cant work up the courage to start dancing with her!!

    I'm grand in other aspects of my life but "pulling" in clubs really gets me down!! I'm not the tallest bloke in the world, 5'6" and I dont know how good looking I am but I reckon that those two have something to do with my problem!

    I know people are going to say that if you approach a girl and she doesnt like you or dance back get over it it and move on, but I think that I have confidence issues! Any advice would be helpful!!

    Thanks.


Comments

  • #2
    Black Swan
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 47,537 CMod ✭✭✭✭Black Swan


    I only go to pubs and clubs with people I already know. A place for a drink, to dance, have a laugh, and chat with friends. Did that last night. I don't go to get picked up by some stranger. So if you were to approach someone like me, you would not have any luck. Not cause you were unattractive or lacked personality, just cause I meet new people in more familiar surroundings. So if you get turned down by someone you approach in a pub or club, chill out and try not to take it too personal.

    I think that focusing on pubs and clubs limits your chances. You might want to try other places, too. I have made friends in coffeehouses. I met my current flatmate in one. Coffeehouses don't have the same rep as pubs and clubs as pickup spots. What I am saying is try other places, too. But you must try, no matter, if you wish to succeed.


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