Baby Talk

Tim Robbins

Hi,
Having a baby is a wonderful experience I'm sure and if anything at least it's keeping the human race in existence
When I meet people with a new baby, I'm happy for them and I say congrads and all that.
But when they go on and on and on and on and on about it and talk about little else, I get a bit bored.
Usually, I would like to talk about a wide range of issues, sports, history, politics, current affairs, tv programs, jokes, even heavy stuff. Or failing a good talk, I would like to do an activity of some sort.
But I find some people who had a baby abandon all these issues and just talk about their baby.
This is fair enough, I think I can understand how delighted they are but it doesn't change the fact it can be really boring. I can't lie about it. It is boring.
I realise I'd probably do it myself if I was in their position, and I think I do try to be interested, but it gets really boring almost to the point I feel a panic attack coming on.

It reminds me of some people who are going to or coming home Austrailia and go on and on and on and on and on about it as if nothing else in the universe exists.

My Sister is having a baby soon and I reckon if she goes on and on about it, I know her well enough to tell her she's boring me, but it's hard with people you like but probably don't feel comfortable telling them that they are boring you to tears.
Is baby talk only for women or people who've had babies?
Are my just a weirdo? If you find baby talk boring how do you handle it?
Obviously I don't want to offend people I don't well enough to tell them they're boring.
Let's hear your thoughts!

hunnymonster

People like your sister deserve the honest approach. Just tell her you want to talk about something else. For people you know less well, I would be inclined to just not spend as much time with them. Work collegues can be a bit more difficult as you can't risk offending them. I have a collegue who has reecntly had her 5th baby and actually takes them to work with her for the first few months. While I appreciate that my employer should be commended for facilitating her I don't want to have to work with baby noises, smells and chat all the time.

kizzyr

If people chose to have babies then thats great and wonderful but I wish they'd have a little bit of respect for those of us who chose not to. If I hear the phrase "you'll never know real love until you have a baby.." once more I'm going to scream. :mad:

Blub2k4

I'd suggest you tell them all and burn your bridges, or just get over yourself.

Tim Robbins

My girlfriend and Mammy have told me that I need to practise baby talk and then it will come together or else do a day in life of being a baby - get dressed up as a baby and do a day in the life.
I think they are buzzing off me. But if it works, I'd go for it.

The Hill Billy

We all speak with people who bore us with any number of topics of conversation. Being bored by talk of babies is not a lot different to being bored by a fanatic Man Utd supporter.

Use your own conversational skills to move on to a different topic. Obviously parents are more passionate about their kids so try to gently steer them onto a topic that interests you both.

galah

It's not actually the baby talk that bothers me that much (you can always learn stuff if you decide to have a kid sometime ;-)) - it's the fact that the kids are always around, so you can't really have a decent chat with your friends anymore, cause the little one is constantly demanding attention, and you have to stare at the kid, and look how cute it is, etcetc...very annoying that! And yes, it's selfish, but I can't help it!

Tim Robbins

Hill Billy wrote:

We all speak with people who bore us with any number of topics of conversation. Being bored by talk of babies is not a lot different to being bored by a fanatic Man Utd supporter.

Use your own conversational skills to move on to a different topic. Obviously parents are more passionate about their kids so try to gently steer them onto a topic that interests you both.

good point, and I would say I am the type of person who gets bored easily of man utd talkers as well!
One of my friends is an Uncle and he is well into it, he loves baby sitting and all that stuff, but I wouldn't be able to call over to him if he was at it is just exceptional boring.
I like other people's dogs and puppies, but I can't get the baby thing. The thing about the man utd thing is you can slag them about it, but I wouldn't slag someone for being baby obsessed unless you knew them very well.
I've heard a lot of blokes are like this but change when they become Dads, any opinions on this?

Miss Judy

It's not any worse than listening to stupid girls at work discussing their nails, make up and weight and why Paddy didn't ring so and so back after their snog in some club at the weekend....painful!!:rolleyes:
I've 2 young kids and I'm 29 and don't really gab on about them unless it's with my friends who are mums to, but I know it's like any conversation if you are not interested in the subject you just switch off. A bit like someone talking to me about Big Brother....YAWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

Just wanted to add...the reason us parents can go on about our babies are because it's just totally amazing and life changing and you do have to experience it to understand. We are also so in love and proud of our little ones that we can't help it...to us we could stare at our kids all day in adoration and amazement. It's just what happens to you when you have kids. I went from a 24 year old party animal to an adoring mum who doesn't really go out at all now and doesn't care either and hardly drinks etc. It changes your life for the better and that is why parents love talking about their kids, everything they say or do is magical!!. (even their dirty nappies in the first few months...how many of you have overheard the "colour of their you know what" discussion and heaved!!LOL)

Tim Robbins

Miss Judy wrote:

Just wanted to add...the reason us parents can go on about our babies are because it's just totally amazing and life changing and you do have to experience it to understand. We are also so in love and proud of our little ones that we can't help it...to us we could stare at our kids all day in adoration and amazement. It's just what happens to you when you have kids. I went from a 24 year old party animal to an adoring mum who doesn't really go out at all now and doesn't care either and hardly drinks etc. It changes your life for the better and that is why parents love talking about their kids, everything they say or do is magical!!. (even their dirty nappies in the first few months...how many of you have overheard the "colour of their you know what" discussion and heaved!!LOL)

Boring

NextSteps

Tim, I think a bit of tolerance is in order here. As the other posters said, lots of potential conversation topics can be fascinating to one party and dull to the other. Examples that spring to mind: babies; the other party's marvellous new boyfriend; wedding organisation; social events you haven't been at; how drunk you were last Saturday (and the Hilarious Things That Ensued); TV programmes you haven't seen; Man United, etc. etc.

The list is different for everyone, mainly depending on what you're up to, what you're reading or thinking about, what stage in life you're at (for example, I'm renovating a house, so I'm suddenly fascinated by issues such as fridge specs which wouldn't have done much for me a year ago!).

The art of conversation is respecting the other's interests, but being able to gently bring the conversation around to a topic that interests you both equally. Couldn't you do that?

Miss Judy

Tim Robbins wrote:

Boring

How arrogant of you!. You asked for an explanation of why parents talk about their kids and I gave you the reason why, so perhaps you could understand why.
Jesus...wouldn't fancy having any sort of coversation with you, god forbid if you don't approve....:D :rolleyes:

vandermeyde

had a friend once who pointed out (more in jest than anything else) that we (my partner and I) were "boring" after the birth of our son....when I offered him the chance to babysit so that we could get out for a few hours and not be "boring" he politely declined and that was that one nipped in the bud..

The Hill Billy

Miss Judy wrote:

How arrogant of you!. You asked for an explanation of why parents talk about their kids and I gave you the reason why, so perhaps you could understand why.
Jesus...wouldn't fancy having any sort of coversation with you, god forbid if you don't approve....:D :rolleyes:

Miss Judy - I think that Tim was having a laugh to make his point.

Tim Robbins wrote:

The thing about the man utd thing is you can slag them about it, but I wouldn't slag someone for being baby obsessed unless you knew them very well. I've heard a lot of blokes are like this but change when they become Dads, any opinions on this?

Bang on. You'd want to know them very well indeed. But as with any slagging - you need to gauge the sensitivity of the person whom you are slagging.

As for myself - I was a right cynical ba$tard in days of yore. Could give & take a slagging in spades. I have to say that I'd be more sensitive (just a tiny bit mind you) these days. If someone wanted to slag me for being OTT about my son - fair enough. If anyone made a sarky comment about him - well, hell hath no fury like a Hill Billy scorned.

Hagar

If listening to someone blabbering on about their ankle-biters latest adventure is the price you have to pay for their friendship, pay up and smile. God only knows what you do that iritates them yet they still put up with you. Give and take.

Tim Robbins

Hill Billy wrote:

Miss Judy - I think that Tim was having a laugh to make his point.

Yeah I was having a laugh alright!Hagar, what happens if you don't get any friendship in return, say it's a neighbour or sister friend, any tips for people going on and on about their babies then?

LegacyUser

'While I accept that other people can be boring about other subjects than babies e.g soccer etc I think Tims point is that people with babies talk about little else. I was good friends with a couple and before they had a baby I used to enjoy calling over for a good chat where we'd talk about anything and everything, new music, films, politics, current affairs etc.
Since they had children they can talk about nothing else. Calling over is a waste of time for any decent chat, all the conversation revolves around the kids and loads of baby talk "wheres Daddy, point to Daddy....wheres Eddie?"...etc. I guess thats why people with kids generally only socialise with other parents.'

Gordon

This isn't a Personal Issue.

Crea

Tim,
If it's any consolation it does pass. When my best friend had kids there was no such thing as an uninterrupted conversation or a conversation where I had to look at how cute they were. I even had to listen to them coo over the phone. But she is my best friend so I persevered. We got to the stage where the kids issues only took up some of the conversation and became more entertaining for me - talk of mega tantrums in public can give you a feeling of shameful joy.
Now I have small kids and try to keep the baby talk to a minimum but they are a big part of my life so it would be wierd for me not to talk of them at all. Having said that I only do it with family and close friends.
I know the constant interrupting in conversations is a head wrecker but until the kids get to a certain age it can't be helped.
Give it time..... you can take up a hobby in the mean time and bore the tits off them talking about it

embee

People with new babies have just undergone a life-changing experience, something that will change them as people for the rest of their lives. It is only natural that they will want to tell people about it as, for most new parents, having a child is a joy.

But yes, there is a line to be drawn. I will admit that when I first had my daughter, I used to talk about her a lot to my friends. Now, she is almost 1 and conversations with my friends has more or less returned to what it was like pre-baby.

Just from a new parents point of view though - it can be just as boring listening to the same sorts of conversations over and over... I am sort of bored of hearing from my friends week in week out about how drunk they were at the weekend, where they went, who they went out with, what they were wearing, who got with who... it gets boring. I am the first in my group of close friends to have a baby. In a way, having a baby has sort of isolated me from them. It used to be that we had similar priorities in life - going out, having fun, spending money like it was going out of fashion. We just do not share those priorities anymore, so to an extent, our friendships have had to be redefined. I don't mind this though - I knew it was coming. What frustrates me sometimes is that my friends sometimes seem to think that my life hasn't changed at all. I get texts every weekend, even now, asking me to come out on the lash. When I text back and say I can't, I get accused of being a hermit. I'm not a hermit, I'm a parent!!

nesf

Either be blunt and upfront about it or get over it imho. Parents, especially new ones, tend to blabber on about their kids. It's natural, their life has just been changed utterly (both in good and bad ways) and it's going to be on their minds tbh.

crosstownk

Miss Judy wrote:

Just wanted to add...the reason us parents can go on about our babies are because it's just totally amazing and life changing and you do have to experience it to understand. We are also so in love and proud of our little ones that we can't help it...to us we could stare at our kids all day in adoration and amazement. It's just what happens to you when you have kids. I went from a 24 year old party animal to an adoring mum who doesn't really go out at all now and doesn't care either and hardly drinks etc. It changes your life for the better and that is why parents love talking about their kids, everything they say or do is magical!!. (even their dirty nappies in the first few months...how many of you have overheard the "colour of their you know what" discussion and heaved!!LOL)

Very well said.

I don't constantly blab on about my kids, but when in the company of other parents I may be guilty from time to time. If I know the other person isn't a parent then I won't blab on as I know it won't interest them a whole lot.

simu

I'm not great at doing small talk but since having a baby, I find it much easier because it's pretty much inexhaustible as a topic and people are into it. So, I do end up in many of those "baby talk" conversations. However, with people I have more in common with, I still have varied convos. Could be the case for many new parents.