This girl I like...

newtons_apple

Hi,

I was just wondering if somebody here could give me a little advice with a small situation. I've been commuting up and down to college in Dublin on the train since last October, and, for the most part, everything has been working out great; I have good friends, a good social life, and college has been going well. Over the past while, I've noticed this really cute girl from college who stands nearby on the same platform while waiting for the train home. From what I have seen of her, and from what I have heard, she seems like a really nice girl, and I've become quietly interested in her over the past while. I've exchanged glances with her before, both on the platform and on the train, and recently offered her a seat (instead of taking it for myself, that is) on the long journey home, to which she responded with thanks, a smile and several looks from afar later on. She has moved down the platform beside me on several occasions, too. The thing is, I don't know her, and I'm not entirely sure how to proceed as a result. Now, this wouldn't be as much of a problem if the setting were different, but it's a train station, which kind of makes a stranger approaching and talking to you look a little bit out-of-place, at least in my opinion - the last thing I want to do is make the girl feel uneasy or uncomfortable. I really like her (despite not knowing her), and I hope I'm not misreading the situation completely. Any ideas?

Thanks for your help.

aidan_walsh

I say try it. Next time you see her on the platform, try to start a conversation. Ask if you are correct in thinking you've seen her around the college, and start a conversation from there.

IMO, a stranger coming up and talking to you at a train station isn't really much wierder that it happening anywhere else - it might be more "socially acceptable" to do it in a bar or a club, but why should that stop you from trying anywhere else? And if it works, who cares where it happened?

jimbozo

Commuter Love

Freezing Monday morning
She is waiting for her train to come
I brush past her, smell her perfume
Watch her hair move as she turns to go
She doesn't know I exist
I'm gonna keep it like this
I'm not gonna take any risks this time

She's not like the others
With their papers and their headphones on
She reads novels by French authors with loose morals
She can do no wrong
I wouldn't say I'm obsessed
I don't wanna see her undressed
We can be prince and princess in my dream
And we're dancing
Through the evening
'Til the morning

She doesn't know I exist
I'm gonna keep it like this
I'm not gonna take any risks this time


Lovely song from an average album fin de Siecle!

Start with small chat but dont put her under pressue or ask her out directly....wait for her to get her hair cut and tell her you like it.........

manonthemoon

Step by Step

Just say hello tomorroow....


Best of luck.....

Chunkychops

I agree with the above posts
I think I am probably older than you (at 31) . My experience has been that striking up a conversation or making an introduction in an everyday situation - like waiting for the train etc is much preferable to trying to chat someone up n a pub/club when they KNOW that you have only one thing on your mind.
At the train you can simply be someone who is going on a long journey on your own and talking to her to shorten the journey. And u never know, ye might both click and everything will take its course naturally.
In short, GO FOR IT!

AnonoBoy

Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it.

Next time the opportunity to talk to her presents itself say 'Hi'.

Then something something, anything. "You go to my college right? I'm XXX. Nice to meet you."

Or start by making a joke about the weather, the way the train is always late, the way you're starting to think she's stalking you. Just talk to her dude.

JUST TALK TO HER.

Jeez.

aidan_walsh

AnonoBoy wrote:

the way you're starting to think she's stalking you

That could be a dangerous one. Its far too easy to accidentally be "weird creepy strange guy" when trying to be "cute charming funny guy".

trilo

She's noticed you, she knows that you notice her. I would say go for it, no harm in chatting.

kmick

Here is a little tip that someone told me once and I liked it a lot. Next time you pass this girl and she catches your eye - say something very short like 'At last some sun' or 'Why is it so packed here today?'. A short, throwaway, meaningless comment and then keep walking. Then the next day/week you pass and she catches your eye say 'Hi' and keep walking. Then after a few Hi's (keep it cool and make sure you dont always say Hi) you should be familiar enough with each other to start a conversation. Just walking up to someone at 7.50 am in the morning and trying to start a conversation is hard. Maybe she is tired, hungover, fighting with ther mother. If so early morning is not a good time to get chatted up.

Anyway my point is the throwaway comment is a good icebreaker and keeps the situation stress free for all parties.

PS For god sake dont say something like 'Nice Jugs'

cold_filter

Give it a try, When i was in college i always seen this girl in the library we seemed to always sit in the same spots facing each other maybe 30 foot or so apart, anyway we did the usual catching the other person looking at the other person anyway to cut a long story short after weeks of smiles i asked her out we went out, found out we werent really into each other but i made a good friend.

Story 2! I went for an interview for a job, met a girl there also attending an interview for the job i like her straight away made small talk we went for a coffee after it and in 2 days we're together 2.5 years! (and we both got a job from it!)

give it a shot she's probably into you aswell and like most women will never make the first move, give it a go!

Beelzebub

Keep it very casual. Just normal conversation the weather etc...

LegacyUser

Maybe this inscruction video might help http://www.videojug.com/film/how-to-chat-someone-up-on-the-train-bus-or-tube

jellie

I was gonna suggest you ask her the time and then make some comment about the train always being late.. followed by "you always seem to be on the same train as me!" or something.. then i remembered most people have the time on their phone these days anyway.

you could always turn off your phone, take off your watch, and ask for the time, saying u forgot your phone.. but that might be a bit extreme.

davyjose

kmick wrote:

Here is a little tip that someone told me once and I liked it a lot. Next time you pass this girl and she catches your eye - say something very short like 'At last some sun' or 'Why is it so packed here today?'. A short, throwaway, meaningless comment and then keep walking. Then the next day/week you pass and she catches your eye say 'Hi' and keep walking. Then after a few Hi's (keep it cool and make sure you dont always say Hi) you should be familiar enough with each other to start a conversation. Just walking up to someone at 7.50 am in the morning and trying to start a conversation is hard. Maybe she is tired, hungover, fighting with ther mother. If so early morning is not a good time to get chatted up.

Anyway my point is the throwaway comment is a good icebreaker and keeps the situation stress free for all parties.

PS For god sake dont say something like 'Nice Jugs'

This is genius - best advice I've heard on these boards. In a way, there is no way this can't work. Think about it, unless she's a total a**hole she'll respond to that in kind, and eventually you'll be someone she knows - then you're made up.
OP please keep us posted on the situation, and good luck

Black Swan

Stand on the platform near her, or offer her your seat again, or sit next to her when you get a chance. Then say "Hi!" Smile. "My name is... and I am a student at.... and we seem to be going in the same direction often." See where the conversation goes. Chill out and don't rush it. And if you can, don't be a tall talker, but rather a good listener to what she has to say.

If the opportunity occurs, first invite her for coffee or tea, not a pub, club, or dinner date. Take it easy and see what developes.

newtons_apple

Hi,

Thanks for all of the replies so far, they've been really helpful and encouraging. I haven't had the opportunity to pursue things further yet, but I'll keep you posted in any case. In the meantime, I'm happy to hear any more suggestions you may have. Thanks again for your help.

Beau

Say Hi without any hesitations once you see her and ask for her opinion on something.

Flat

kmick wrote:

Here is a little tip that someone told me once and I liked it a lot. Next time you pass this girl and she catches your eye - say something very short like 'At last some sun' or 'Why is it so packed here today?'. A short, throwaway, meaningless comment and then keep walking. Then the next day/week you pass and she catches your eye say 'Hi' and keep walking. Then after a few Hi's (keep it cool and make sure you dont always say Hi) you should be familiar enough with each other to start a conversation. Just walking up to someone at 7.50 am in the morning and trying to start a conversation is hard. Maybe she is tired, hungover, fighting with ther mother. If so early morning is not a good time to get chatted up.

Anyway my point is the throwaway comment is a good icebreaker and keeps the situation stress free for all parties.

PS For god sake dont say something like 'Nice Jugs'

yea if you can pull it off like this you are sorted, make her think you are friendly terms even though you are just two strangers in a train station... excellent advice kmick, pro stuff

Try and think of it from her perspective... every girl wants to meet a nice guy, getting into a relationship is fun, they get excited about it, the bottomline is she wants to meet guys and will be a happier person if guys pursue her than not

In my experience its better to try and give it a go and get a total blow off rather then never try, you will kick yourself more for never trying

Pigman II

helpful video wrote:

Maybe this inscruction video might help http://www.videojug.com/film/how-to-chat-someone-up-on-the-train-bus-or-tube

Hmm, I hope no-one has ever tried plan B! Desperate woman + Pussy man = ideal couple?

Húrin

helpful video wrote:

Maybe this inscruction video might help http://www.videojug.com/film/how-to-chat-someone-up-on-the-train-bus-or-tube

What an incredible website that is!