Girl help!

LegacyUser

Well im 16 yrs old and i havnt really had a real girlfriend. Everyone I know has had loads or at least one. Another thing is I have only frenched kisseed one girl but twice. I really liked this girl and she liked me but everytime I was with her I could never really talk about us I just acted like we never kissed, as if it was awkward to say we kissed. I only went out with her a couple of times and everytime I asked her to meet up with me again she was goin on holidays or working. Well I havnt seen her in months and she has a boyfriend now. Long story short I am awkward around girls and I'm afraid it wont be for ages untill I get one. I'm also get very nervous around nice looking girls and it usually takes ages for me to get comfortable around them! I'm a nice looking guy and have never had a real girlfriend and i've seen really ugly people get nice looking girls. Can someone just give me tips how to act around girls i'm usually really quiet around them. Sorry for making this message so long!

Wishbone Ash

tellysnot59 wrote:

I'm a nice looking guy and have never had a real girlfriend and i've seen really ugly people get nice looking girls

When I was your age (in the early 80s) that used to puzzle me too. Many attractive young girls will go out with skangers because the 'decent' lads are too shy to make a move. Give it a while and you'll be in there too. Don't worry abou the French kissing, it will come naturally with the right girl.

violatom

being 16 sucks for that kinda thing.
Wait until uni, then its all sooooo easy.... but getting back onto the presen t (for you..). the big thing is to not change yourself too much for the sake of getting a girl, cos in the end it won't work, they'll either like the real you for ages or like the fake you for a week or so.
good luck mate, and don't worry about anything, if its going to happen it should (maybe with a bit of persuasion..) but don't push anything to hard.
And if all fails, go to uni, and into halls. you can't miss...
Ciao

LegacyUser

Quit obsessing over it. Everyone goes through this once in their lives, thinking that they haven't done enough. That's how young, unprotected sex usually occurs. Just realize that it's not that important on the bigger scale, and that one day you'll be in the position to tell the right girl that you haven't much experience and why. Personally, I find inexperienced guys very attractive, seeing as the other, more experienced type are cocky and usually horrid, pushy kissers.

Seriously, if you think about it too much, it'll drive you mad. Just stop looking around and if you meet a special someone, don't jump the boat because you're experiencing this teenage conundrum. It's seriously not worth it.

Hope this helps

dame

Just don't be thinking of all girls as if they are possible girlfriends....talk to them like you would a sister or girl cousin. It'll all become much more natural to you after a while.

sweet-rasmus

ah, you're only 16! i remember how emotions drive you mad at that age, but you shouldn't feel like you have to catch up with anybody give things time.

one suggestion; i hope you attend a mixed school! getting comfortable around girls shouldn't be too much of a bother if you are able to get chatting in class. good luck!

deaddonkey

relax, you're 16.

FWIW, i'm nearly 21 and i haven't had a girlfriend yet, i've only kissed 2 girls.
i'd like it to happen but i'm not fussed that much, and looking desperate isn't cool at all.

it'll happen for everyone when it's meant to happen.

caffrey

Be yoursmelf and relax. doesn't matter what the girl is like. If you act the tool or think about it too much while trying to talk to her chances are you will screw it up anyway. don't try talking about what you think she will like either just talk about somethin you like that isn't football/death metal(unless she likes that) if she enjoys your company she will talk to you about anything. just as most people will. Have a bitch, have a laugh. Girls are people too (though sometimes they act a little weird):D:D

Black Swan

What do you really like doing in your spare time? Can you find a group that has a good mix of young girls and guys that enjoys it too? Become enthusiastic about whatever you all enjoy doing, and girls that share your interest will be attracted to you.

sobriquet

Ah dude, relax. I'm 25 and just got into (and out of) my first relationship. Talk about a false start. Anyway, the potted version of the best advice I've seen for someone like you (and what I wish I was told) is that despite your horniness, don't bother with women yet.

Seriously. Don't think so much about getting your 16yo self laid so much as when you get to college. Work on things like being able to talk to girls, women, men, boys, anyone at all in a casual and confident manner. You don't want to 'act' around girls, you want to just be comfortable in your own skin and able to hold an interesting conversation. Work on your appearance. Play sports, work out, and get involved with clubs and stuff like that. Read widely and develop opinions on things - in short, have interesting things to talk about and share with people.

Along the way, doing all this stuff to better yourself, you might find yourself meeting attractive and interesting people - and becoming more interesting and attractive with it.

Then, when you get to college and have all the time and opportunity in the world to 'french kiss' (hee hee) girls, you've got a big head start. Also, you appear concerned about not being very experienced with kissing etc. Only way to learn is practice, but failing that you've got a large resource in front of you (teh interweb) to learn (insofar as you can) about all aspects female sexuality and what to do with it when faced with it. If I were your age again, I'd do so.

Have fun!

Drift

I was the exact same way when i was your age OP. Most teenage boys (sorry men ) feel awkward when it comes to girls its just a combination of lack of experience and hormones going crazy in your body.

Like everyone else recommended just be yourself and be confident in who you are and have normal conversations with girls about normal stuff; whats on tv, the maths teacher is such a bitch etc. You'll find if you treat them as friends they'll flocking towards you.

There's also no need to force the issue when it comes to kissing, foreplay etc. You have to get the idea in your head that you're going to let things happen as they develop instead of forcing them. That will make you feel a lot better about yourself and you'll project that feeling outwards too . At your age I'd never kissed anyone at all and I was significantly older before I did, so don't sweat it you're already one step up

Zambia

I remember this time very well , because you are doing nothing else this whole thing takes on Dawsons creek emotional proportions.

Be yourself finds a sport , enjoy your age and if you are having a good time some thing will click with someone.

Oh and whowever you are chasing now is brushing you off simply ignore her. Enjoy this time mate as best you can , it seroiusly does not last.:cool:

tbh

tellysnot59 wrote:

Well im 16 yrs old and i havnt really had a real girlfriend. Everyone I know has had loads or at least one. Another thing is I have only frenched kisseed one girl but twice. I really liked this girl and she liked me but everytime I was with her I could never really talk about us I just acted like we never kissed, as if it was awkward to say we kissed. I only went out with her a couple of times and everytime I asked her to meet up with me again she was goin on holidays or working. Well I havnt seen her in months and she has a boyfriend now. Long story short I am awkward around girls and I'm afraid it wont be for ages untill I get one. I'm also get very nervous around nice looking girls and it usually takes ages for me to get comfortable around them! I'm a nice looking guy and have never had a real girlfriend and i've seen really ugly people get nice looking girls. Can someone just give me tips how to act around girls i'm usually really quiet around them. Sorry for making this message so long!

The main thing to remember here is, this is totally normal, and although it sucks at the moment, I bet most of the older lads around here, myself included are smiling at our own memories of the time.

if I can give you practical advise - what I wish I'd known at the time - is that
1. Not every conversation with a girl has to to end with anything like a kiss or a date. You're probably worried about how to make the next move - so forget about doing that. Instead, listen to what she's saying to you, get to know her and see whether you'd like to get to know her better. Sometimes you'll want to kiss them and they won't want to kiss you, sometimes they'll want to kiss you but you won't want to kiss them, and sometimes, it's magic

2. Mostly, girls are as nervous as you when they are talking to ya, they just hide it better. The awkwardness comes because both of ye are waiting for the other to take the lead, and drive the conversation. What worked for me was having a list of topics to talk about, in a specific order. What they were wasn't important, it was just that if I was chatting to someone, and it was going well but I didn't know what to say, I'd just move on to the next topic very naturally. This makes you look relaxed and confident, and not like you are desperately chasing her - the more you look like you're not bothered, the better

Seriously, enjoy this as much as you can.