Ex and a new girl

LegacyUser

Going unreg for this one.

I have been chatting to this girl for the past few weeks and eventually asked her out on a date on sunday to which she agreed to.(going out tomorrow night) which is great. she is very pretty and great to chat to. the problem is my ex rang me on sunday evening after i text asking the other girl on the date. We chatted for an hour or so and i called down to see her. we ended up having sex and i stayed over. last night she called over to my place and the same happened again but this time she said she was falling for me again and she was so stupid for breaking up with me and over a stupid reason for which i cant remeber exactly. my dilema is . i thought i loved my ex when i was with her and thought she was great looking and great fun. but i think i could have something with this new girl i am going to see tomorrow. do i see both of them without making any comitment. ive never had to choose between 2 women before. what do i do?

thanks for the replies in advance

free2fly

There certainly us no reason why you can't see them both as long as they both know about the other and are ok with it. If you don't see that happening then you will have to choose. Do you want to get back with your ex? Or do you really like this new girl and want to see what develops?

Mojito

I was in the same situation as you and thought its best to be honest and told my ex what had happened. It was hard to do but had to be done.

It's not fair on your ex or on the new girl. How would you feel if the rolls were reversed?

Funny enough that ended but I'm still best friends with my ex!

Life, its a funny game...

Skiesonfire19

Why not have your cake, and eat it?

Skies

Ruu_Old

Be honest with both of them whatever you end up doing.

biko

Indeed, have a cake.
Of course, if you don't tell them about each other it will blow up in your face - it always does. You got some tough decisions to make.

free2fly

Skiesonfire19 wrote:

Why not have your cake, and eat it?

Skies

That would be very unfair to both girls.

Cake Fiend

biko wrote:

if you don't tell them about each other it will blow up in your face - it always does

And now for some realism: it often blows up in people's faces, but not always. The question, OP, is do you want to risk it? If you actually give a crap about either of them, then you won't.

free2fly wrote:

That would be very unfair to both girls.

Thank you, Captain Obvious.

bogzilla

i would tread carefully here to be honest. i am in a similar situation at the moment, have an ex that i see every so often but somethings we do have some fun.

on the other hand, i have met a girl i'd like to see more of, so i havne't seen the ex in a while and won't be going back until i'm sure what the situation is.

murphys law guarantees this will blow up in your face unless you make a difficult choice in the short term which will be the wise choice in the long term.

good luck.

walrusgumble

in your head what are the reasons for not wanting to going back with the ex? give her a rest for now see what happens with the new girl (that might sound crude sorry) then decide who you would like a relation with, that is assuming you want one with either girls. maybe you should move on from ex.

right now you are single in the stict sense, yes, well do not say anything to either, maybe keep out of each of their beds if you feel guilty, (thats until you decide which girl you would like to go with)

sorry if this is too simplistic

dame

Just tell your ex that you need time to think. That you're not quite sure how you feel since the break-up and are afraid of jumping back into a relationship. You can tell her about the new girl or not.

Stay friends and in touch if you can but DO NOT sleep with her or give her ideas you're getting back together again, not until you're sure one way or the other.

I think you need to meet the new girl a few more times and see how your feelings develop. If you don't you may find yourself wondering in a few months time (it's possible you'd break-up with your ex again since you've finished once already). Tell her you've recently come out of a relationship if you want to.

Try not to string both along (at least not for too long).

However, I'm a firm believer in some time being single being a good idea after a break-up, helps you rediscover yourself and what you want from life. Maybe you could step back from both girls for a bit, remain friendly so that a relationship could begin/resume in the future.

Rabies

I think the reasons behind the break up in the first place will help to decide if you want to get back or not. There is history there, but is it worth going back to it.

vorbis

tricky area this. With the other girl, its essentially a first date. That hardly implies that you are just going out with her. Similarly, it was your ex you had sex with. Again, theres no obligation of faithfulness there. So I would say you're doing nothing wrong by seeing them both for a short while but I wouldn't let either find out

craichoe

Man, don't jump straight into another relationship .. keep things casual, you still have feelings for your ex if you've slept with her. If you did end up going out with this new girl it would just wreck your head and your new girlfriend plus your ex.

You've 3 options:

1. Keep it casual between both

2. Break off contact with the Ex and see where it goes with this new girl

3. Don't see the new girl and invite your ex out instead, although to be honest it probably won't work anyway.

AnonoBoy

I would say that if you are honest with both girls at this stage the ex may be ok with it for a while but the new girl will run a mile.

'Oh yeah I'm still kinda seeing/sleeping with my ex.'

Nobody wants someone still laden with baggage about their last relationship, let alone someone who's still sleeping with their ex.

You gotta decide if you want your ex back or not. If you do then don't start something with the new girl. If you want to see how things go with the new girl then don't keep sleeping with your ex.

My advice:

Tell your ex that you don't think it's a good idea for you two to get back together. Stop sleeping with her and make a go of it with the new girl. There's no need for you to tell her about sleeping with your ex.

Drift

Its never happened me but I think if it did I'd tell my ex the truth straight out, that I've organised a date for the weekend and I'd like to see how it goes becuase I like the girl and that maybe I shouldn't meet up with her for a while. I wouldn't mention anything about it to the new girl then.

_blank_

Your ex is your ex for a reason, even if you say you can't remember why.

New girl ftw.

walrusgumble

if you tell the ex the truth there maybe no way back. it would be a brutal idea to sleep with her or string her along after that. to be fair to her she would not be pleased, and may turn vengful ie find the new girl and tell what you have been up to lately.

maybe the best thing is to see were it goes with the new girl without the expectation of a relationship, play it causal, and enjoy single life again.

if it works with the new girl, and ye click, ya know what to do then

Húrin

twogirlsandaguy wrote:

I have been chatting to this girl for the past few weeks and eventually asked her out on a date on sunday to which she agreed to.(going out tomorrow night) which is great. she is very pretty and great to chat to. the problem is my ex rang me on sunday evening after i text asking the other girl on the date. We chatted for an hour or so and i called down to see her. we ended up having sex and i stayed over. last night she called over to my place and the same happened again but this time she said she was falling for me again and she was so stupid for breaking up with me and over a stupid reason for which i cant remeber exactly. my dilema is . i thought i loved my ex when i was with her and thought she was great looking and great fun. but i think i could have something with this new girl i am going to see tomorrow. do i see both of them without making any comitment. ive never had to choose between 2 women before. what do i do?

thanks for the replies in advance

You really shouldn't be asking us for reliable advice on this one. We would need a huge amount of information to give good advice. If you can't make up your own mind, ask a friend who knows you and your ex.

the_syco

You broke up witht eh ex for a reason. The ex now onl wants you, as you have someone else. IE: she being a b|tch. Whats the bet she'll be gone when the new gf goes?