The fate of mankind in the paws of Seals???

.:Who:.

Ok so there has been a little deliberation on the fate of mankind between my friends and myself.

THis is the conclusion we have come to about the fate of all mankind.
If you would like to add to this theory or maybe express your own then that'd be great but in the meantime get those clubs out !


Due to Global warming and the melting of ice caps seals who normally only mate during the warmer months of the year are at it like rabbits, there is a seal population explosion!!
The seals are growing vastly in number and will soon have to migrate as their numbers are so large, they will have nowhere to live so they will migrate south invading our lands slowly taking over and running us out of our homes. To combat the problem of invading seals we will have to cut down the rain forests to make enough clubs to kill all the seals
this will of course increase the rate at which the ice caps are melting
but club production will go into overdrive.
So what do we do with the seals bodies? I'll tell you!
The bodies of the dead seals will be used to ease world hunger by being sent to Africa but to our surprise,
fueled by the seal meat the Africans will spread out in a bid to take over the world
but they will be so fat from the whale blubber that they will have to use Heelies to get around.
This is as far as we've got on the topic but what ya think???

FlutterinBantam

I'm boarding up the house as I type,when can we expect them????


Worried!!

InFront

So global warming will result in a well fed continent of Africans taking over the world? Not sure if that's the scientific conclusion:D
Sounds good to me though, I reckon it's their turn to sit in the driver's seat anyway.

FlutterinBantam

By the the way they have flippers not paws, does that change things?

Sangre

Who says girls aren't funny?

Rb

So we have a choice of either Africans or seals taking over the world?

junkyard

Its probably another story brought to us by the people who blame us for global warming. Another story to introduce another tax. Tbh I wouldn't be surprised if people believe this too, people will believe anything these days.:rolleyes:

.:Who:.

FlutterinBantam wrote:

I'm boarding up the house as I type,when can we expect them????


Worried!!

I can see them making it to Ireland for at least another 4 years, well depending on how quick they pop one out! If anyone has any info on how long it takes seals to em, reproduce that'd be great then we can start dealing with figures!

junkyard

InFront wrote:

So global warming will result in a well fed continent of Africans taking over the world? Not sure if that's the scientific conclusion:D
Sounds good to me though, I reckon it's their turn to sit in the driver's seat anyway.

That should be interesting, considering they've done such a great job in their own country.

.:Who:.

FlutterinBantam wrote:

By the the way they have flippers not paws, does that change things?

Oh yeah, well it still doesnt change anything. just means we might be able to out run the evil *asta*ds!

.:Who:.

junkyard wrote:

Its probably another story brought to us by the people who blame us for global warming. Another story to introduce another tax. Tbh I wouldn't be surprised if people believe this too, people will believe anything these days.:rolleyes:

Yes there will be a tax on clubs, and on club cleaning materials!
YOU dont wanta dirty club!
and the bigger your club!
Well........... the more seals you can womp!

junkyard

.:Who:. wrote:

Oh yeah, well it still doesn't change anything. just means we might be able to out run the evil *asta*ds!

The poor seals are getting enough bad press from the fishermen thanks, eating all the fish and deliberately shredding their nets I mean what rights have seals anyway they shouldn't even be in the water, right?:rolleyes:

.:Who:.

rb_ie wrote:

So we have a choice of either Africans or seals taking over the world?

Well yes to begin with, but soon due to the overeating of the africans of the seal meat, and our horrific and untimely death, they will get fatter and fatter, and the heelies can only help so much! And eventually the seals will catch up with them and kill them too!
So in the long run, it will be the seal who will come out as the victor!

junkyard

.:Who:. wrote:

Yes there will be a tax on clubs, and on club cleaning materials!
YOU dont wanta dirty club!
and the bigger your club!
Well........... the more seals you can womp!

That's right bring in VRT on clubs and seal tax on an annual basis and NCT them every couple of years....that would be a nice little earner alright and kill some seals along the way....I should be working as a spin doctor.:) So well paid and so little to do.....bliss.

.:Who:.

junkyard wrote:

That should be interesting, considering they've done such a great job in their own country.

Oh Oh easy now!
Colonisation and the Rich nations of the north have left the third world in the state it is today! But that is not the topic of this thread and if need be we can open up a new one for that topic.


But back to more pressing issues!
Invasionof the Seals!
And also how much tax should be on clubs?

junkyard

.:Who:. wrote:

Oh Oh easy now!
Colonisation and the Rich nations of the north have left the third world in the state it is today! But that is not the topic of this thread and if need be we can open up a new one for that topic.


But back to more pressing issues!
Invasionof the Seals!
And also how much tax should be on clubs?

Thats right, there's always someone else to blame isn't there. 25% of the current market value club and 30% if you've got a big one, they do it with cars so it should work with clubs too.

InFront

Junkyard 3 posts with 3:rolleyes: in them all? Lighten up, this might just eb a joke you know.

junkyard

InFront wrote:

Junkyard 3 posts with 3:rolleyes: in them all? Lighten up, this might just eb a joke you know.

I'm just a sarcastic b**tard, I assumed it was a joke from the start so just for you here are a few smilie faces.:)

.:Who:.

Junkyard!
My clubs bigger than yours !
:P

junkyard

That'll be 30% VRT then,;) and here are a couple of smilies for InFront.:)

.:Who:.

junkyard wrote:

That'll be 30% VRT then,;) and here are a couple of smilies for InFront.:)

hmmm, 30% tax ah i can deal with that i guess! Will we need to insure our clubs? you know incase of an accident?
and club licences? you cant give just anyone a club???
See so many issues to be addresses and all before the invasion of the seals! !!!!!!

Rb

And how do you suggest we combat the invasion of the Africans?

garthv

I know I have my club.

junkyard

Now your talking, four more years of this and you'll have a state pension.:)

.:Who:.

rb_ie wrote:

And how do you suggest we combat the invasion of the Africans?

well you see, that is where I draw to a blank, you see the seal blubber fueled africans with heelies, is there anything that could come close to defeating such a tremendous enemy????

.:Who:.

GaRtH_V wrote:

I know I have my club.

Well done!
You set a great example for the rest young GaRth_V!

junkyard

You get my seal of approval too.....seal, get it.:)

.:Who:.

junkyard wrote:

You get my seal of approval too.....seal, get it.:)

Ah. well done!
I like funnies!

Matt Holck

the entertainment industry needs to take the increase in seal population seriously
if they are to stay soluble
I suggest that they look into beach ball technology

.:Who:.

Matt Holck wrote:

the entertainment industry needs to take the increase in seal population seriously
if they are to stay soluble
I suggest that they look into beach ball technology

I dont think you by any means ment to help me think of sch an ingenious way of solving the seal problem but I now have to solution to the entire issue! and JUNKYARD there is no need for tax in this one!

Here is my hypotosis: We use beach balls! Everyone knows no seal can resist beach balls so we throw beachballs at the seals, but these are no regular beach balls oh no! They are beach ball bombs!!!!!

That was the seals are blown to bits so there is no need to dispose of the carcases (as the birds and scavengers will eat the remains and we can also use it as fertiliser!), so since we dont need to feed the dead seals to the poor in africa then they will not become fat and take over and they wont ever get their hands on heelies!!
True the manufactures of Heelies will miss out on all the prospective profit they may of made, but the human race will triumph in the long run!
Plus there will be no need to cut down the rainforest to make clubs!!!!

And all it took was explosive beach balls!
My work here is done!

randylonghorn

What a seally thread!

Hail 2 Da Chimp

This thread has opened my eyes to the danger of pollution and green house emmisions!

Rozabeez

Wait wait....what do we do with the clubs once we've killed all the seals?

Sarky

Open them up to shiny chequered-shirt-wearing proles to get miserably drunk and make tits of themselves before spilling out on the street at 3am and starting projectile-vomit fights.

Matt Holck

Ha Ha

I've been eating glass