She Knows...................

LegacyUser

Basically, mates with a girl a loooooonnnnnnnngggggggg time, over the years i have gotten drunk and hinted im into her, but then always put it down to the drink and said i ment nothing by it. We stopped talking/didnt see each other for a while, then the next time i saw her we caught up and i started getting the feelings for her back. Now here is my problem, i think she knows im into her, but she doesnt think its a good idea to get together (in my opinion), is there a chance for us or should i leave it, because we are great friends otherwise.

hunnymonster

you'll drive yourself nuts unless you get an answer one way or the other. Talk to her. If you're good friends and she doesn't want to take it further then it may be a bit uncomfortable for a while but that will pass.

Gurgle

Driven_Demented wrote:

Basically, mates with a girl a loooooonnnnnnnngggggggg time, over the years i have gotten drunk and hinted im into her, but then always put it down to the drink and said i ment nothing by it. We stopped talking/didnt see each other for a while, then the next time i saw her we caught up and i started getting the feelings for her back. Now here is my problem, i think she knows im into her, but she doesnt think its a good idea to get together (in my opinion), is there a chance for us or should i leave it, because we are great friends otherwise.

Transference.

You see how she is with him & you're jealous. You want to be in a loving long term relationship and your subconscious has convinced you that she is the key to such a relationship when in reality its the dynamic between her and your mate.

Forget it, it will never work out.

Are they still together btw?

Faith

Gurgle wrote:

Transference.

You see how she is with him & you're jealous. You want to be in a loving long term relationship and your subconscious has convinced you that she is the key to such a relationship when in reality its the dynamic between her and your mate.

Forget it, it will never work out.

Are they still together btw?

Are you reading the same OP as I am? There's no mention of her being in a relationship.

hunnymonster

I thought that too faith but was afraid I was missing something (it is sunday morning!)

faceman

Not being funny but OP you need to elaborate here. what age are ye? How do ye share social circles? how do ye know each other? Are ye both single and available? How "close" are ye?

Gurgle

Faith wrote:

Are you reading the same OP as I am? There's no mention of her being in a relationship.

Lol:

mates with a girl a loooooonnnnnnnngggggggg time

doh!

I though he meant his mate was with this girl, now that you point it out its obviously that he is mates with the girl.

So my well thought out psycho-analysis is totally irrelevant

Brain needs more coffee.

OP, go for it, whats the worst that can happen?

-edit- having had some coffee and woken up brain cells #3 to #11 (12-17 not with us yet);

What are you even asking OP?, the title of the thread suggests that 'she knows'.
Its up to her now. Go out with her for a few pints and see what happens.

biko

A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend.

This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.

Ergo: OP, It's not likely that this girl will fall for you imo. Stay friends and try to find another girl.

hunnymonster

<passes gurgle another espresso>


Biko, From my reading of it, she hasn't actually said she is not interested. I still think he needs to clarify this with her.

MojoMaker

Driven_Demented wrote:

Basically, mates with a girl a loooooonnnnnnnngggggggg time, over the years i have gotten drunk and hinted im into her, but then always put it down to the drink and said i ment nothing by it. We stopped talking/didnt see each other for a while, then the next time i saw her we caught up and i started getting the feelings for her back. Now here is my problem, i think she knows im into her, but she doesnt think its a good idea to get together (in my opinion), is there a chance for us or should i leave it, because we are great friends otherwise.

OP, no girl wants a sexually passive man. Hinting this and hinting that, and hiding behind the drink etc...it's sexually unattractive. You will not get anywhere with her or any other female with average self-esteem this way.

walrusgumble

true how do u think she feels about you often saying you have feelings for her and then saying nah i dont just booze talking? could she take you serious then. doubt she be keen on you only able to man up and express your self when there is drink on ya

by the way by no means am i attcking you, we have often done this because we can be scared sh4tless and fear of rejection hence if we do we can have an excuse. but maybe cut down on the saue if you ever speak to her about this and be honest, you have been friends with her for a while so she knows what you are like.

Black Swan

Talk to her.

challengemaster

just go for it! who knows if its meant to be true love or not? take the chance, for all you know in a few years you might be married or whatever if it were to work out well, same with anyone, you dont know whats going to happen. Do it and dont be left thinking "what if.."

poobum

i had similar thing a while ago, girl i was mates with...well i realy like her! i always got this feeling she wanted nothing to do with me in that way...but one day i just had to say it! so i did! and turned out she liked me! i was very surprised!

LegacyUser

The point im trying to get across is, i think she knows i am mad into her, and somedays she plays up to it, and im thinking is she really into me aswell, or is she being an evil bitch, and just havin a laugh with me.

A past experience: Out in a pub one night, bumped into her got the usual waffles out, how you been, how's work i was like oh day off tomorrow cant wait. Then she was like, oh me too do you want to meet up tomorrow and catch up!! This was something we always used to do, so i thought nothing of it(didnt text her that night!! ). Anyway got up the next day, rang her up asked you coming out well to meet up. She says she doesnt fancy going out do i wanna come up to her house. So i was like ye grand, and went up knocked in she was in the shower?? Anyways i didnt mind because i get on with her mother and father, so i was chattin with them. Then she comes in, stay talking to them all for a while, then she is like do you want to come into the kitchen. So we go in start, and start catching up. After an hour or two we are all caught up, and she is getting bored so she is like do you want to watch some tv, so we go into her room (she lives in a bungalow!). So she gets into the bed and i sit on the end. (this situation has happened many times, but most of the times she was with someone.)

I think that is the night i lost any chance, i think she was expecting something to happen that night, but i was blind to it because i thought she only liked me as a friend. Anyways, i didnt talk to her for a week after that, and when i did she didnt seem herself toward me.
After that a few weeks went by, and i bumped into her again, and she seemed herself again all chatty, and said ring me tomorrow, so i did. She didnt answer so grand probaly in shower, busy or asleep.
That is the point where i was thinking, was she into me i didnt respond and now she is taking it out on me. She knows i am mad into her, and she lives off it. I know i need to talk to her, but wat do i say??

challengemaster

Just the next time you're talking, tell her how you feel for her.

just a quick note - dont ever use chat up lines, ever. they will lead to your death, and make the baby jesus cry.

Oriel

Wait. If they split up, come here again. Else, it was meant to be for them.

Gurgle

sinecurea wrote:

Wait. If they split up, come here again. Else, it was meant to be for them.

Unless my coffee-starved brain is acting up again, she isn't with anyone now.

little lady

You need to tell her how you feel or ask her out on a date and mkie sure she knows it's a date and not a frienly "lets go for a drink"

She may also be confused about how you feel, as far as she's concerned you let her know you like her when you're drunk but then change your mnd when you sober up and then when the opportunity arises you don't make a move on her.

Maybe she does like you but is afraid of messing up a friendship if the feeling isn't reciprocated and her confusion is making her seem off handish with you.

The only thing you can do is talk to her.

LegacyUser

Driven_Demented wrote:

The point im trying to get across is, i think she knows i am mad into her, and somedays she plays up to it, and im thinking is she really into me aswell, or is she being an evil bitch, and just havin a laugh with me.

I'd be careful with this if I were you. I know from a similar experience that she could very well be aware that your mad for her and playing up to it as some sort of confidence boost to her!

I was convinced that a friend of mine was into me with all her flirting etc but it turned out she wasn't and I was left feeling very hurt and stupid.

baselines

Have to say that id be very cautious

Had a very similar situation myself where this girl knew who was a great friend that i was mad into her as we shared the same circle of friends.

The thing is that we kissed loads of times and that was it but nothing more came off it(except getting hurt or made look like a fool countless times) and after being with eachother she would hardly let on to know me when she would see me again-acted embarresed!
She would fill me with loads of bs saying that if we werent such good friends it would make things so much easier.

Shes now going wit a lad i know and now that i look back on it when she was with me it was just to give her a confidence boost-nothing else and what was a great friendship is now more or less destroyed!

Could be different for the OP...just watch yourself and dont be payed for a mug.

Burga Galti

challengemaster wrote:

Just the next time you're talking, tell her how you feel for her.

just a quick note - dont ever use chat up lines, ever. they will lead to your death, and make the baby jesus cry.

One exception - if it's incredibly stupid given the situation and done sheerly for humor ie. asking that girl in reception at work "So, do you come here often?".

OP: Been in similar situations several times. Trust me that if you don't talk to them and put your feelings in the open you'll drive yourself mad. On the plus side, I'm still great friends with all the girls in question so there is really nothing to lose.

Húrin

Driven_Demented wrote:

After that a few weeks went by, and i bumped into her again, and she seemed herself again all chatty, and said ring me tomorrow, so i did. She didnt answer so grand probaly in shower, busy or asleep.
That is the point where i was thinking, was she into me i didnt respond and now she is taking it out on me. She knows i am mad into her, and she lives off it. I know i need to talk to her, but wat do i say??

Ah, Irish women are surely the only people less confident than Irish men!