Unhappy

LegacyUser

Im looking for some advice here.

Im in my 20's and am self employed. My life is very work-orientated. I work rediculous hours and only managed to scrape by - Business has been quieter than it should be and i always find myself strapped for cash. But as with all businesses, things are rarely rosy at the start and i know i gotta work at things to make something out of the business.

However i find myself feeling down and out the whole time. Sometimes i simply just hate my life. I cant switch off at night and i mull everything over in my head. I cant get to sleep until a rediculous hr of the morning. Then i cant get out of bed in the morning!

I used to be very fit and active but now im slightly overweight with a beer gut. Trying to find the time to get exercise is quite difficult. Even finding time to eat is hard and i end up binge eating 2 meals a day which needless to say is not healthy. (I have started a diet and exercising - jogging late at night so i guess ive made a step in the right direction)

Sad as it is to say sometimes my only release is to go out and get slaughtered drunk with friends. Needless to say this doesnt make work the next day easy at all.

I am lucky to have a gf that i love very much and sometimes i feel without her id be lost.

I am having problems with my family too. They are always complaining that i dont go and visit them considering they only live 10 mins away but my problem is that i simply dont have time - and the only times i find to call is very early or very late and they are in bed!

I dont even know why im posting this, im know im lucky to have the opportunities that i have but i just need to rant cause i do feel so unhappy at times and stuck in a rut.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Kuz_3040

Unfortunately when you own your own business disadvantages and those are what you are currently experiencing at the moment.

cash problems are very common and im sure there are people in far worse situations so dont worry too much about that as it will get better i find the best to avoid cash problems is to try and make the most of what you have and make your money go as far as possible as well as budgeting like crazy and simply being tighter with your money. If you have credit cards then pay them off asap and dont use them as they really do cost alot with the amount of interest they charge.

Be careful not to take your girlfriend for granted because it is very easy to do and when it comes to your just make them understand that you have little time to visit. Another option would be to move back in with your family and save money on your on living costs.

Try not to get depressed because it will cause problems with alot of relationships in general and distract you from what you want to achieve which is to make things better. Going and get trashed with friends is also very dangerous because you will develop sleep problems and become tireder as time goes on

Hope this helps and hope things improve

Carrigart Exile

Stuck_in_a_rut wrote:

Im looking for some advice here.

Im in my 20's and am self employed. My life is very work-orientated. I work rediculous hours and only managed to scrape by - Business has been quieter than it should be and i always find myself strapped for cash. But as with all businesses, things are rarely rosy at the start and i know i gotta work at things to make something out of the business.

However i find myself feeling down and out the whole time. Sometimes i simply just hate my life. I cant switch off at night and i mull everything over in my head. I cant get to sleep until a rediculous hr of the morning. Then i cant get out of bed in the morning!

I used to be very fit and active but now im slightly overweight with a beer gut. Trying to find the time to get exercise is quite difficult. Even finding time to eat is hard and i end up binge eating 2 meals a day which needless to say is not healthy. (I have started a diet and exercising - jogging late at night so i guess ive made a step in the right direction)

Sad as it is to say sometimes my only release is to go out and get slaughtered drunk with friends. Needless to say this doesnt make work the next day easy at all.

I am lucky to have a gf that i love very much and sometimes i feel without her id be lost.

I am having problems with my family too. They are always complaining that i dont go and visit them considering they only live 10 mins away but my problem is that i simply dont have time - and the only times i find to call is very early or very late and they are in bed!

I dont even know why im posting this, im know im lucky to have the opportunities that i have but i just need to rant cause i do feel so unhappy at times and stuck in a rut.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Mate, you are displaying a lot of the signs for depression. I know your work is taking it out of you and having no money for slogging your guts out can be a real bind but you also sound down.

chamlis

I'm doing the "Starting my own business" thing myself at the moment. Nothing like the heavy going you describe, but I do know what it's like not to be able to switch off at night. My whole life is revolving arund this right now, and it is very hard to get away from. Sometimes I don't even want to as it keeps you occupied and not thinking about other problems.

I'm fortunate in that my current circumstances are alowing me to do this and not have it as hard as you do, but I think I do understand where you're coming from. It will pay off in the end I'm sure.

Good luck to you Sir.

Rogueish

Hi Stuck_in_a_rut,

I've been where you are and now thankfully am four years further on than where you are now. From someone who has been down to their last €10 in their bank account until her next pay day which was always very far off. You really need to take a step back and breathe.

Working 24/7 means that the quality of life and most probably your quality of work is suffering. This will come across to existing and potential clients. The most successful people out there stop at some stage and say NO. That may only be that you make sure that you take time for meals. Binge eating is not good for you as you have already stated and binge eating the wrong foods can leave you feeling more ****e than you are already feeling. If you don't have the fuel going in then you will definitely not have the output going out.

Make sure that you take at least one day or two evenings away from work. Believe me this is one of the hardest things to do but the most rewarding in the long term for your mental health and relationships around you.

Your local county enterprise board runs a very good part time course that allows you to take a step back from your business so you can see why it is stagnating at the moment and what your options are. It is run for existing businesses. I'm sorry that I cannot remember the name of it (I threw the brochure out last week )

Good luck and keep us updated.

Black Swan

Stuck_in_a_rut wrote:

(I have started a diet and exercising - jogging late at night so i guess ive made a step in the right direction)

Wise move. Keep it up and you will see some improvement.

Marksie

chamlis wrote:

I'm doing the "Starting my own business" thing myself at the moment. Nothing like the heavy going you describe, but I do know what it's like not to be able to switch off at night. My whole life is revolving arund this right now, and it is very hard to get away from. Sometimes I don't even want to as it keeps you occupied and not thinking about other problems.

I'm fortunate in that my current circumstances are alowing me to do this and not have it as hard as you do, but I think I do understand where you're coming from. It will pay off in the end I'm sure.

Good luck to you Sir.

In tha same boat, starting a business and holding down a job which involves a long commute.

The things rattle around your head all the time. But what i have learned is to make "me" time.

I always take sunday off and use it to pamper myeslf and I make time for a lover as well.

I make a point of trying to do meditation daily, though at very busy periods, this does not happen. But half an hour or better and hour can produce real benefits.

LegacyUser

thanks guys.

as bad as it sounds, its good to see that im not the only one in this situation. Thanks for the advice

pclancy

I was going through the same thing about 3 years ago, getting away from it all and getting a normal job again was the only option for me as we werent doing well and I was starting to get into very serious trouble financially. Looking back If i had managed my time better and known some of the things I know now about sales and business Id be okay but at the time I had to quit, it was all simply too much. The sense of pride of having my own business was destroyed by not having a cent to my name, getting behind on a lot of payments, not seeing my family, breaking up with girlfriend and other stuff. Its very easy work too hard and I know exactly what you're saying about not being able to stop thinking about it all night.

You have to find some way to split your work/home life and get more time when you can come home and TOTALLY forget about the job. You need to find a hobby or spend time with your girlfriend/mates/family to unwind and maybe consider putting aside a few quid every week if you can to get a holiday or nice weekend away. Makes a great difference.

I also found that other people with small or medium sized businesses were fantastic for advice, even more so then the ent board. Becoming friends with customers and seeing how they dealt with problems at their early stages of business was invaluble.

Good luck and dont give up unless you reckon it really is too much for you. If you do, feck it, you can always try again sometime! Just remember life should be enjoyed not worked and stressed!