Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Help Keep Boards Alive. Support us by going ad free today. See here: https://subscriptions.boards.ie/.
If we do not hit our goal we will be forced to close the site.

Current status: https://keepboardsalive.com/

Annual subs are best for most impact. If you are still undecided on going Ad Free - you can also donate using the Paypal Donate option. All contribution helps. Thank you.
https://www.boards.ie/group/1878-subscribers-forum

Private Group for paid up members of Boards.ie. Join the club.

Guys & Porn

2

Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 14,277 ✭✭✭✭Rb


    Porn is harmless, noone gets hurt by watching it and if a girlfriend is feeling inadequate because her boyfriend watches porn, then its really her insecurities coming to the surface. Most, if not all men, watch or have watched porn, that doesn't mean that they're thinking of the stars when they're sleeping with their girlfriend.
    Not even the Stars of it are getting hurt, they're getting well paid and its a choice they've made themselves.
    Though I have my own reservations about the industry, I don't believe theres any harm in a guy watching it. Same applies to women, if I found out that a girlfriend of mine was into porn I'd have no problem with it as I'm quite secure about myself.

    OP: Don't worry about it, hes probably embarrassed or afraid that you'll feel hurt or inadequate by it. The fact that hes watching it should have no effect on your relationship or sex life, well, it may even do good things for your sex life as he might pick up a thing or two from it. You could even surprise him by buying some in an adult store and sticking it on when you two are having a night in :)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,240 ✭✭✭✭Fanny Cradock


    I wouldn't say it's completely harmless. That whole area can, apparently, be quite addictive. Indeed, there was a thread citing a study which claimed addiction could, in some manner, be linked to increased likelihood of committing a sex crime. This is what I gather anyway. I only glanced at the thread, so I'm not entirely sure of the findings. However, if that's true, it's the extreme, and you probably want to be one sick puppy in the first place.

    Sorry, don't mean to put the ****s up anyone.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,314 ✭✭✭Talliesin


    Poppy84 wrote:
    So why wont he admit it even when the evidence is there? Isn't it worse to have his Girlfriend think he's someone else and lies.
    Some people like porn and some people don't.
    Some people approve of porn and some people don't.

    Some people both like it and disapprove of it at the same time, or at the very least would like to think they were "above it". Find such a person's history file and you're probably going to hear some lies.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 17,163 ✭✭✭✭Boston


    Porn is all about the audience, the guy or Girl watching it. Sex isn't and shouldn't be like that, it should be about two (or more) people.


  • Administrators, Entertainment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators, Paid Member Posts: 18,821 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭hullaballoo


    Watching porn is just escapism to a fantasy world, along the same lines as watching any other TV or video. Your boyfriend is just watching Desparate Housewives with a bit more sauce thrown in.


  • Advertisement
  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 47,769 CMod ✭✭✭✭Black Swan


    So long as it's not child porn, rape, or snuff films (really sick stuff!), perhaps you should just let him have it? He sounds guilty, so a chat with him is needed to put him at ease? You don't want him lie to you in order to hide it, cause then the larger issue of trust is threatened. Personally, I don't like porn, but some guys seem to have a need to watch it.:rolleyes:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,756 ✭✭✭Jules


    there are four certain things in this life, birth, death, taxes and guys watching porn... personally there is nothing wrong with it and if your lucky he can take a few pointers and bring something new to the bedroom, or kitchen, shower, local park.. i think letting him catch you watching it is the best bet! He may be embarrassed that you caught him looking at it alone, and not with you!

    embrace it and sit or should i say lie back and reap the benefits!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,006 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    'Surprisingly nobody's mentioned it, but its entirely possible, particularly if he's using internet explorer, that he's telling the truth. Spyware known to infect internet explorer commonly brings up porn sites in pop up windows, and these would then be present in his history, cache, etc..

    If anything i'd have thought if he was so keen to hide such a habit from you, he'd go to the trouble of the 3 clicks he'd need to delete his history and cache before bringing his flushable handful away with him.'


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 154 ✭✭killeoin


    erm...The phrase Bunny Boiler springs to mind for some reason?

    Seriously though, you seem to have a good relationship. Its a very small issue.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,006 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    'What anon120107 said. It's likely he was looking at it, the majority of guys do. But there are actually some guys out there who don't (gasp!)

    I get nothing from porn. Never have. I'm a hetrosexual guy and nothing turns me on more than the female body when I'm attracted to and with them, but I've never been the slightest bit turned on by porn in magazines or tv. I dunno if it's the girls they use (not the best looking to me) or just the presentation (doesn't say sex to me, just some randomer getting paid to strip) or what, but I've never gotten anything from it.

    The point of me saying that is that once my computer used to pop up all sorts of porn ads and sites when I was trying to look at pretty innocent things. I know if someone had gone through my history it would've shown all them but I genuinely wasn't looking at them. This mightn't be your bf's case but I'm just throwing up the other side and saying it can happen.

    (I think I'm in a very small minority though).'


  • Advertisement
  • Moderators, Regional North East Moderators Posts: 12,742 Mod ✭✭✭✭cournioni


    Seraphina wrote:
    some people like killing, does that make it ok?
    i know its an extreme example, but just cause lots of people like it, doesn't mean its ok. just thought i'd point out the fairly obvious flaw in everyones reasoning.
    lots of people doing it doesn't neccesarily make it ok.

    i dont really care about the topic tbh, i just think everyones answers leave alot to be desired. i might like cheating on my boyfriend, does that make it ok? its not the same, but you get what im on about.
    There is a difference between watching something and actually doing it you know?! It's not like he was actually involved in the porn. Just like someone watching a horror movie isn't killing anybody, or watching someone cheat on their gf/bf in a movie isn't cheating.

    On topic now... Yay for porn!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 252 ✭✭Tweeter


    usualun wrote:
    'What anon120107 said. It's likely he was looking at it, the majority of guys do. But there are actually some guys out there who don't (gasp!)

    I get nothing from porn. Never have. I'm a hetrosexual guy and nothing turns me on more than the female body when I'm attracted to and with them, but I've never been the slightest bit turned on by porn in magazines or tv. I dunno if it's the girls they use (not the best looking to me) or just the presentation (doesn't say sex to me, just some randomer getting paid to strip) or what, but I've never gotten anything from it.

    The point of me saying that is that once my computer used to pop up all sorts of porn ads and sites when I was trying to look at pretty innocent things. I know if someone had gone through my history it would've shown all them but I genuinely wasn't looking at them. This mightn't be your bf's case but I'm just throwing up the other side and saying it can happen.

    (I think I'm in a very small minority though).'

    Let's face it pal you're gay. It's not possible for a heterosexual male to not be aroused while watching porn.
    Porn is the best thing since sliced bread as far as I'm concerned. Absolutely no harm in it what so ever


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,314 ✭✭✭Talliesin


    Tweeter wrote:
    Let's face it pal you're gay.
    Because there's no such thing as gay porn :rolleyes:
    Tweeter wrote:
    It's not possible for a heterosexual male to not be aroused while watching porn.
    Of course it is. The experience of being with someone is very different to the experience of watching, listening to or reading pornography. It's perfectly possible to get aroused by being with someone and not by seeing a picture of them.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 17,163 ✭✭✭✭Boston


    Tweeter wrote:
    Let's face it pal you're gay. It's not possible for a heterosexual male to not be aroused while watching porn.
    Porn is the best thing since sliced bread as far as I'm concerned. Absolutely no harm in it what so ever

    Allot of stuff classed as "Porn" is more likely to make me get sick then turn me on tbh.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 37 Burga Galti


    Just because no-one seems to have linked to this yet

    http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=5430343841227974645


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 252 ✭✭Tweeter


    Boston wrote:
    Allot of stuff classed as "Porn" is more likely to make me get sick then turn me on tbh.

    Agreed.
    For the record (and I should have really clarified this), when I say Porn, I'm referring to bog standard male/female sex.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 17,163 ✭✭✭✭Boston


    Tweeter wrote:
    Agreed.
    For the record (and I should have really clarified this), when I say Porn, I'm referring to bog standard male/female sex.

    Boring porn tbh. personally im into some aural sex(yes i did say it).


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 37 Burga Galti


    Aural? As in phone sex? ;)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,006 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Tweeter wrote:
    Let's face it pal you're gay. It's not possible for a heterosexual male to not be aroused while watching porn.
    Porn is the best thing since sliced bread as far as I'm concerned. Absolutely no harm in it what so ever


    Hahaha, i love open minds :) I probably wouldn't understand if I was in your position too. I have a pretty high sex drive right now too (mid 20s) so nothing's off. Just never been turned on by watching other people do whatever. I have to be there and genuinely attracted to the person.

    That all said, I do have more unusual turn-ons (nothing illegal or sick!) which can just about do the trick if I was watching a stranger. Very rare though so I just never bothered with porn. You won't find a single mag or video in my house or computer. I see it as a benefit... saved me the hassle of having to cover my tracks when I was growing up in my house, stashing porn etc. plus most girls see to prefer not fussing over what their boyfriend is being turned on by when it's not them.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 17,163 ✭✭✭✭Boston


    Some people are so innocent.


  • Advertisement
  • Closed Accounts Posts: 37 Burga Galti


    Hardly, just think you might want to check a dictionary for the differences between aural and oral (what I assume you meant). It's a common mistake, but always make me laugh.

    Anyway, because I've not exactly been constructive so far I'll get back on track. Don't worry about the situation OP. As was said earlier, every guy looks and the ones who don't are liars. That said, the "no i don't" response is hardwired into many heads after years of it being taboo and 'evil'.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 17,163 ✭✭✭✭Boston


    Hardly, just think you might want to check a dictionary for the differences between aural and oral (what I assume you meant). It's a common mistake, but always make me laugh.

    But not one I made. Thats why i added "(yes i did say it)".

    It's like this

    Oral -> Anal -> Aural. Tighter and Tighter each time.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,314 ✭✭✭Talliesin


    Tweeter wrote:
    Agreed.
    For the record (and I should have really clarified this), when I say Porn, I'm referring to bog standard male/female sex.
    So as long as the OP's partner has the same sexual interests as yourself - apparently the type specimen for healthy sexual desire in human males - then everything is okay, but if there is any variation from that, then it isn't?

    I'm unconvinced by the arguments along the lines of "of course it's 100% safe and has no bad effects".

    I make use of things that can have bad effects all the time, candles, coffee, alcohol, computer monitors, automobiles, very hot water, knives, DIY tools. I see no incongruity between saying that all of the above can cause problems and my using them. While I may differentiate between a small car and an SVU or a butter knife and a sharp lock-blade I don't fee the need to say "oh, the coffee I use is okay, but those people drinking lattes are a bit dodgy".

    I find the refusal to accept that pornography could possibly have any bad effects in any possible case (except possibly the "bad stuff", used by people on the other side of an arbitrary Them/Us line) strange. Frankly it sounds like a child whining to mummy after she took away a toy she deemed dangerous. Adults can say "this can cause bad things" and still use something. Children just say "this is safe because the box says 8 or up and I'm 9", which is precisely why adults sometimes have to take toys from them.

    At the very least, people can find themselves wasting time and/or money they really need to spend elsewhere on compulsively engaging in passive recreations (never hear of anyone blowing their exams because they played EverQuest compulsively?) so given that pornography is a similar recreation with the added factor that it can bring sexual satisfaction, it seems unlikely that nobody can get hooked.

    And in the OPs case it's worth considering that the degree of lying about it reflects a concern on her partner's part that he is hooked.

    Or it could just be that he doesn't exactly want to talk about the fact that he uses it, as many people wouldn't. But I don't think it's worth discounting entirely.

    I still think the most likely scenario is that he uses it on occasion, but doesn't entirely approve himself or thinks he should be able to do without, and that conflict is leading to the lies.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,266 ✭✭✭Steyr


    Poppy84 wrote:
    And what is the story with guys and porn is it a pure necessity

    Your answer there is YES, we love porn, thats all you need to know.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 19,777 ✭✭✭✭The Corinthian


    Poppy84 wrote:
    And what is the story with guys and porn is it a pure necessity in your life or is it something ye look at cos your not happy with your sex life or not getting enough. He says he's happy with our sex life and I'm more than satisfied and to be honest Im mad about him and he can have it whenever he wants to. SO what is it, is it me am I inadequate, is he bored. I dont mean to get all paranoid but it does affect how I see myself now which is stupid cos Im not ugly or over weight
    Males are genetically predisposed to polygamy. As a result they are always 'looking' elsewhere. That's not to say that this is the case always, only that this is how we're wired and will tend to be. So, it's not you, it's him. Indeed, your relationship does not actually revolve around you either, so don't assume that because he wants or does not want something that it must be because of you.

    Porn can sometimes be the only way of dealing with this instinct for men if we're in a monogamous relationship and want to remain so. If that's the case, then let it be. It's better than the alternative.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 37 Burga Galti


    Boston wrote:
    But not one I made. Thats why i added "(yes i did say it)".

    It's like this

    Oral -> Anal -> Aural. Tighter and Tighter each time.

    Words fail me.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,468 ✭✭✭Evil Phil


    Anyone see that episode of C.S.I. Miami where a porn star got murdered? The story was based on a phenomenon called 'Porn Creep' (iirc). That is when a guy gets so used to 'using' porn that he can only achieve sexual release through the use of porn. I know it's only C.S.I. but they do research their stories: that's where I found out about the furry thing as I'm sure did some of you.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,021 ✭✭✭ChRoMe


    Evil Phil wrote:
    Anyone see that episode of C.S.I. Miami where a porn star got murdered? The story was based on a phenomenon called 'Porn Creep' (iirc). That is when a guy gets so used to 'using' porn that he can only achieve sexual release through the use of porn.

    Sorry I dont understand the connection from someone being dependent on porn and murder???

    In response to the OP. Yes many men look at porn. However this does not mean that your other half doesnt find you attractive/wants to cheat etc etc

    Sounds like your boyfriend is still feeling a bit embarrassed about looking at it (thank you backwards ireland!!) and wasnt sure how you would react. If you honestly dont have a problem with it grab a DVD you would like to see and then show him it and say you would like to watch it together.

    While looking through a sex shop with the woman I'm currently seeing I was really turned on when she brought me over to the dvd rack to point out the type of ones that she thought looked good. Needless to say they were promptly purchased and we had great fun watching them together.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 13,856 ✭✭✭✭kowloon


    I like the idea that CSI is researched, miami in particular, im off to fight crime with my hiphop moves and street mannerisms. WORD :D


  • Advertisement
  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,395 ✭✭✭Marksie


    anon120107 wrote:
    'Surprisingly nobody's mentioned it, but its entirely possible, particularly if he's using internet explorer, that he's telling the truth. Spyware known to infect internet explorer commonly brings up porn sites in pop up windows, and these would then be present in his history, cache, etc..

    If anything i'd have thought if he was so keen to hide such a habit from you, he'd go to the trouble of the 3 clicks he'd need to delete his history and cache before bringing his flushable handful away with him.'

    yep sometimes happens on my computer actually..good point.. does it go into the history though?


Advertisement