So down at the moment

fits

I'm pretty much same age and in similar situation too. (Only this is my 9th year in uni (eek!) I took steps to stand up on my own two feet again recently after realising I had achieved absolutely nothing of significance in 2006. So you're not on your own. A lot of people get into a rut at some stage in their life.
Truly believe your sex issue will come right if you get yourself sorted and build up some self esteem.
By the way, I recently got the Paul Mckenna 'Change your life in 7 days' book and cd. Very sceptical of these things normally, but was getting desperate and willing to try anything. Perhaps the timing was just right for me, but it gave me an almighty kick up the bum..

Marksie

I think that a lot of these issues are symptoms rather than causes. It, i believe stems back to self esteem: In how you see yourself and thus how you believe others see you, how you relate to the world and how ul;timately others relate to you. So i would step aside from the individual issues for the moment and look at the whole thing.

The greatest change is effected from within and it is within yourself you should start. From that initial point you can move on.

Someone suggested professional help and that is a good idea, but people baulk at the term counsellor, but there is always coaching where someone helps you achieve your goals.

OP it won't happen overnight and probably will happen in small incremental steps. But be determined to do do something about the issues in their own time as and when you get stronger in and of yourself. Check out every resource possible and pursue it.

Some of the advice here is very good and you can do worse than look at it and begin to make plans in your favour.

I wish you all the best in the world

But if you will excuse me........
Lorax: 21 and 3 girlfriends.. wow, i am significantly underwhelmed by your life experience, and your ability to relate. May i suggest that you follow the advice you gave in your own post and take the next plane to Bolivia? Help those kids you care so much about.

LegacyUser

'Thank you so much, Mark, and you too, Fits. I'm feeling a lot better about myself. I felt like a total freak and was calling myself "sexually retarded", stunted, incapable of a relationship etc. But I know now that if I keep telling myself these things, yep, I will become them - because I believe them. Doesn't mean they're true. I definitely have some of the skills to get on with my life in a far more positive manner. You guys are absolutely great. And thank you too, Unregd_guy. I have been doing the unpaid thing all right but it's still quite hard to get there. I may have been aiming a bit too high, though. It's hard to break Dublin. Time to consider regional, methinks.'

LegacyUser

'Unreg_girl, when I left college and start living at home again, I felt that I was back to square one! It's natural to assess your life and what you've made of it when you're in a bit of a lull. You assessed yourself very harshly (would you be so harsh with a friend?) and suffered as a result. Don't be so quick to do so again in the future, you're worth more than that.
Good luck with the job-hunting, work experience does sound like the way to go if you want to get your foot in the door. Take care : )'

LegacyUser

'Aw, thanks a mil, hon. There's a great bunch of you out there! Well, the job hunting is going well. I've an interview on Monday, so fingers crossed. Not being negative, but if I don't get it (and I may not) I won't crumble. There'll be a job for me all right.'

Catari Jaguar

Lorax wrote:

f anything my advice is more valid than yours because Im only 21 and have already had 3 serious girlfriends and Im not a virgin.
.

Yea... 3 "serious" teenage relationships :rolleyes: AND you're not a virgin either?? Wow! You sound quite the wordly man. Expert advice. So there are problems in the world, that doesn't make OP's problem any less relevant. As they say, "if it's a problem to you, then it's a problem".

OP, I don't know why you are apologising to him for not being a starving Bolivian baby. wtf?? Don't justify yourself.

Lorax, I suggest that instead of offering "advice" you go send letters off to the governments and change the world. God knows they need you!

PS. Glad I could help, OP and I think you sound like a lovely, genuine person. I really hope it all works out for you.

BackwardRussia

Take a trip to scotland, we love irish lassies over here

Xavi6

Unreg_girl wrote:

my dream job would be in the media - broadcasting and/or writing - but it is so, so difficult to break into.'

Who told you that?! i'm 21, just got my Journalism degree and I've done serious work for a number of publications over the past three years. One of my mates is also getting very well up in RTE. It's all about persistence in the industry. If you have the drive you'll get something no hassle. Make a few calls, do up a few sample articles yourself etc. There's new papers and magazines starting up all the time. I know my main paper will take people who are qualified or not once they have ambition and some ability.

Basically if you want it bad enough you can get it.

LegacyUser

'Cheers Lil Kitten. You're great! And thank you, Backward Russia. Suggestion very much noted! Yep, a plan's coming together now. Going to work for a while, then move away again. And it's pretty exciting. I realise now that I was feeling disappointed about life not working out the way I had hoped and this was getting me down more than it should have. Now, though, with the help of you guys, I've come to realise that there are alternatives. And I've been working on a contingency plan.
Xavi6, I've just found that to be the case myself. I was even on the verge of giving up, but I'm determined again now. Thanks a mil for the advice.'

Borat_Sagdiyev

Ok I think you're sorted on the job/doing new things front.

Regarding yourself, you need to start looking in the mirror every morning and telling yourself you're a stunner - and believing it. It always amazes me how pretty much any woman regardless of how she looks, can look at herself naked in the mirror and pick out a flaw, whereas most men can do the same regardless of what they look like and think they're sex gods! (speaking in general terms here, I'm not silly, I know there are exceptions)

I know it may seem a tough job, but FORGET about your worries when it comes to your body. When you're with someone who likes you, they like you regardless, thats the reason they got with you in the first place.

I think it was mentioned somewhere above, make sure you're not looking for a boyfriend/husband. You might come across as desperate and frighten people off - what you need to tell yourself is that you don't need another person to define you. If you're chatting with a fella and he asks if you're single, reply with "yeah, I need to be sure about someone before I start going out with them." That to me says "This person is confident in herself, and will not settle for a dumbass just to be able to say that she has a boyfriend" - and thats very attractive.

Find someone you think is funny, in my opinion, the most important thing a partner must be able to do is make you laugh.

LegacyUser

Wow! Thanks Borat_Sagdiyev! My God, what a great world this would be if all guys were like you! (presuming you're a guy...) That's some brilliant advice about meeting guys, but I have a massive barrier when it comes to the physical aspect. I don't think any amount of self-reassurance and retraining my thinking will give me a new perspective on my body, which I think is REPULSIVE. Forgive the melodrama but that barely articulates how I feel. I'm not a hugely overweight woman (just over 11 stone) but I think that, naked, I look as bad as a woman who's 25 stone. It's strange because I also see good things about my physicality. I'm actually lucky to have good-shaped legs and ass, and fitted pants and short skirts (with thick black tights!!!) look well on me. I know - plenty of women would give anything for that. That's fine - clothes hide a multitude. IF you saw my legs naked. You would actually puke. They are DISGUSTING!!! My thighs are wobbly and flabby beyond belief, riddled with cellulite, really really pale and they go kind of purpley-red in the cold weather. They're also really bumpy and covered in all these infuriating dot things - hair follicles I suppose. And there are loads of blemishes and marks and bruise-type things. And my skin is so dry and flaky.
Warning: the following is graphic! The tops of my thighs meet and this causes cysts to form (I'm sorry - it is gross but I'm on a roll). The skin between my thighs has become kind of discoloured and, I don't know, "loose" is the only word I can use to describe it. My calves have escaped the wobbliness but they're similar to men's calves - like sandpaper the skin is so dry and flaky. And they’re really hard and bumpy and covered in blemishes like my thighs. And my stomach. Oh God my stomach. Two rolls of disgusting flab which can be covered up to point with various tops and hold-in knickers but there’s no way I could let it hang out.
Apart from all that though, my body's great! :-D
Seriously, though, I don't think any guy should have to see that. And I really believe that, no matter how attractive a guy finds me initially - even a really nice one - he won't be long going off me if he saw me naked. I know loads of girls probably think I don't sound any different to them, but I genuinely think you couldn't get more disgusting than me naked, and that only a massively overweight woman could look worse (and only slightly). Whether I'm right or not, I feel the only thing I can do is go on a healthy eating and exercise kick and spend a lot of time exfoliating (which also helps circulation and to get rid of cellulite apparently) and moisturising the dry skin. I doubt I'll ever have silky-smooth, super-toned thighs with a nice golden glow, but I'm going to try and get them to the best condition possible. I've started this lifestyle change. I've tried it before and always gave up, but this time I'm particularly determined. I don't want to sound like a total moaner about my physicality. I think I have quite a nice face with good skin (thank God the skin on my face isn't as dry as the skin on my legs) and my ass isn't too bad - It's wobbly, pale and cellulite-ridden but no more than your average butt. I've been blessed with a good pair of boobs and, for some reason, the skin from my hips up is in great condition.
So it's really just a naked legs and stomach thing...

limklad

Unreg_girl wrote:

I’ve always had major body issues too, which, ironically, caused me to eat more and more. Looking back at my teens, I was skinny as a rake, but I thought I was fat. Since I was about 19, I’ve piled on the pounds. I’m not massively overweight but I still think I’m hideous. This is another reason for my fear of intimacy. I feel I’d have to have a perfect body before sleeping with someone. But I also know I have a very skewed outlook on sex. I can’t associate it with love. I know this is a horrible way to think, but I get really pissed off when I hear women talk about how unattractive they feel, yet they still have boyfriends. “How can you feel that unattractive or fat when you have no problem having sex with someone?,” is what I find myself thinking. I’ve no doubt some of you will probably think “lose some weight”. I have done so, but by the time I feel happy with myself physically, I’ll be 29. Maybe then I’ll feel ready for sex. But it’s just too late in life, I feel. How do I go about getting the guy? And then there’ll be the awkwardness of having to admit that I’m a virgin and clueless in bed. I really feel like I’m going to end up an old maid in a house full of cats and it scares me ****less. It’s making me so bitter, especially when there are girls who are years and years younger than me getting laid. And girls who are really nervous and quiet. And girls who are far heavier than me.

I don't understand why women/men seem to think that their body is the only thing that matters when it comes to sex. People who think this way are shallow, insecure (most of the time hiding it and probably have a poor vision of true love).
Roar this out with me “BIG FAT UGLY PEOPLE HAVE GREAT SEX TOO”. It does not matter how fat you are as long as you keep yourself clean and groom. Some people that I know are fat people who have better sex life than those I know who are thin. And you know what. They are PROUD of been FAT. Been a virgin does not matter, but what matters is the other person you will have sex with. Just because girls younger than you are having sex does not mean they are having great sex or have the same .
The best sex is having sex with the person you love and they love you. When you have it you will understand. When the time is right for you to lose your virginity est to do it with the right guy, you probably make mistakes but that “ok” because the guy who wants to make love to you should understand. He probably is nervous of making a mistake too. Do not let your virginity let you down. What is important is finding your right partner. DO NOT GO FOR THE BULL****TERS WHO BOAST OF THEIR LOVE LIFE. If you do make that mistake, you will have learn something and move forward. The True fact is that selfish people will only want to have sex with your body and screw with your mind. They don’t care about the disaster they leave behind.
You Father narrow view of life should not let you get you down. I know because my parents (My mother mostly and Who are not religious) were very degrading and abusive to me throughout my life, so much so that when I was 13, I tried to kill myself too as I could not bear life at that dark period of my life. I was on my way to drown myself in the nearby river, until I cross paths that lead to my grandfather house. At the end of that path is a window to the kitchen and he would sit there by the range. He loved me and cared for me unconditionaly, when my parents were so cruel and ignorant of their parental abuse. I then could see that my action would lead him to cry and be sad. I fell to the ground crying and eventually walk home till in tears. My parents did not care for me and enter the house and went straight to my bed. I could not talk to anyone at that time. I could not let my grandfather down, nor could I tell him, for reasons , I leave for anoter time. I was very depressed throughout my teenage years. It wasn’t until a few years ago, I eventually came through it. I don’t speak to my parents anymore (because of their denial and want to extert control over me) but that does not matter because I am making a life for myself now. I am happy now and You will too. You too can learn from the past and from the mistake of others, and you can do things better, because you know their mistakes. People will help you if you let them.
As for Friends, You have made friends before and you will definitelymake friends again. I know that for sure.
So I do understand a lot of what you are going through but not everything as everyone experience is different. You are not alone. You have reach out to us. That is a good step and now I do know is that Life for you, will get better if you allow it to.
Love yourself unconditionally, you deserve it.
Any doubts or troubles let us know. Here a smile for U

limklad

Borat_Sagdiyev wrote:

Ok I think you're sorted on the job/doing new things front.

Regarding yourself, you need to start looking in the mirror every morning and telling yourself you're a stunner - and believing it. It always amazes me how pretty much any woman regardless of how she looks, can look at herself naked in the mirror and pick out a flaw, whereas most men can do the same regardless of what they look like and think they're sex gods! (speaking in general terms here, I'm not silly, I know there are exceptions)

I know it may seem a tough job, but FORGET about your worries when it comes to your body. When you're with someone who likes you, they like you regardless, thats the reason they got with you in the first place.

I think it was mentioned somewhere above, make sure you're not looking for a boyfriend/husband. You might come across as desperate and frighten people off - what you need to tell yourself is that you don't need another person to define you. If you're chatting with a fella and he asks if you're single, reply with "yeah, I need to be sure about someone before I start going out with them." That to me says "This person is confident in herself, and will not settle for a dumbass just to be able to say that she has a boyfriend" - and thats very attractive.

Find someone you think is funny, in my opinion, the most important thing a partner must be able to do is make you laugh.

Brillant

Borat_Sagdiyev

Unreg_girl wrote:

Wow! Thanks Borat_Sagdiyev! My God, what a great world this would be if all guys were like you! (presuming you're a guy...)

Yup, I'm a guy, and don't be fooled by my username! I'm not a backward sexist pig!

Unreg_girl wrote:

That's some brilliant advice about meeting guys, but I have a massive barrier when it comes to the physical aspect. I don't think any amount of self-reassurance and retraining my thinking will give me a new perspective on my body, which I think is REPULSIVE. Forgive the melodrama but that barely articulates how I feel. I'm not a hugely overweight woman (just over 11 stone) but I think that, naked, I look as bad as a woman who's 25 stone.

Jesus H Christ, 11 stone sounds like a lovely weight to me (not in a pervy way).

Unreg_girl wrote:

It's strange because I also see good things about my physicality. I'm actually lucky to have good-shaped legs and ass, and fitted pants and short skirts (with thick black tights!!!) look well on me. I know - plenty of women would give anything for that.

Damn right plenty of women would give anything for that - and so would any man.

Unreg_girl wrote:

That's fine - clothes hide a multitude. IF you saw my legs naked. You would actually puke. They are DISGUSTING!!! My thighs are wobbly and flabby beyond belief, riddled with cellulite, really really pale and they go kind of purpley-red in the cold weather. They're also really bumpy and covered in all these infuriating dot things - hair follicles I suppose. And there are loads of blemishes and marks and bruise-type things. And my skin is so dry and flaky.

I used to go out with a girl that had particularly sensitive legs, she used to cut herself the whole time shaving them, so she wouldn't shave all the time, resulting in slight stubble on her legs and around her "happy place". Do you honestly think that I was bothered about any of that? I couldn't give a toss. OK I know the relationship ended but it was nothing to do with those things.

Unreg_girl wrote:

Warning: the following is graphic! The tops of my thighs meet and this causes cysts to form (I'm sorry - it is gross but I'm on a roll). The skin between my thighs has become kind of discoloured and, I don't know, "loose" is the only word I can use to describe it. My calves have escaped the wobbliness but they're similar to men's calves - like sandpaper the skin is so dry and flaky. And they’re really hard and bumpy and covered in blemishes like my thighs. And my stomach. Oh God my stomach. Two rolls of disgusting flab which can be covered up to point with various tops and hold-in knickers but there’s no way I could let it hang out.

Sound like something which could easily be cleared up with some alternative treatment. Homeopathy could help you out here, I've heard a lot of success stories about it clearing skin blemishes.

As for your stomach, sure jaysus don't we all have bellies we'd love to get rid of! Its january for fecks sake! The month of "I'll take the stairs up to the office every day instead of the lift" and "I'll do 50 sit ups every night" - we all have great intentions but rarely see them through. I'm not trying to be harsh with you here, but if you're not happy with your stomach, do something about it - go walking, take up a sport. I find that swimming is a great passtime, you exercise your whole body without really knowing it and having a laugh at the same time.

Unreg_girl wrote:

Apart from all that though, my body's great! :-D
Seriously, though, I don't think any guy should have to see that. And I really believe that, no matter how attractive a guy finds me initially - even a really nice one - he won't be long going off me if he saw me naked. I know loads of girls probably think I don't sound any different to them, but I genuinely think you couldn't get more disgusting than me naked, and that only a massively overweight woman could look worse (and only slightly).

AHA! But these are YOUR thoughts - only your own perspective on things, with absolutely no evidence! Didn't you say you were a virgin? Well then you have no idea WHATSOEVER what a guy would do after seeing you naked.

Unreg_girl wrote:

Whether I'm right or not, I feel the only thing I can do is go on a healthy eating and exercise kick and spend a lot of time exfoliating (which also helps circulation and to get rid of cellulite apparently) and moisturising the dry skin. I doubt I'll ever have silky-smooth, super-toned thighs with a nice golden glow, but I'm going to try and get them to the best condition possible.

Ah come on! Who has those? Those airbrushed celebrities? You may be referring to being out whatever night and seeing other girls with apparrantly fabulous legs, but as you said yourself,

Unreg_girl wrote:

....clothes hide a multitude.....

Ok fair enough, there are a certain percentage of women who actually do have fabulous legs, but they are in the minority, and the percentage of ones that have and also KNOW they have is even more minute.

What you need to do here is stop buying rags like HELLO! and WOMANS WAY and the likes (if there's anything I hate more than Cosmopolitan, I have yet to encounter it). They're absolute sh!te. Stop reading about Posh's new hairstyle and Jlo's brand new boobs. Realise that as much as it may be a cliché, personality is extremely important. Fine, I admit, I would definately spend a night with Jessica Simpson, but would I go out with her or marry her? Not a chance. Type in "Newlyweds" into youtube and you'll see what I mean. She is further away from joining mensa than something I accidentally stepped on this morning on the way to work. As for paris hilton, don't get me started on that cnut.

Unreg_girl wrote:

I've started this lifestyle change. I've tried it before and always gave up, but this time I'm particularly determined. I don't want to sound like a total moaner about my physicality. I think I have quite a nice face with good skin (thank God the skin on my face isn't as dry as the skin on my legs) and my ass isn't too bad - It's wobbly, pale and cellulite-ridden but no more than your average butt. I've been blessed with a good pair of boobs and, for some reason, the skin from my hips up is in great condition.
So it's really just a naked legs and stomach thing...

OK, no offence, but its about time you started focusing on the positives!

1. Nice face + good skin
2. Average butt (probably better than you think judging by your own perspective on your body)
3. Great pair of boobs????? I LIKE!!

If your only two hassles are your stomach and your legs, seriously you've nothing to worry about. When you're in bed with someone, it doesn't matter what the legs look like, and it doesn't matter about the stomach either - you've got the main parts down to a T.

Here's a joke which may emphasis my point:

There were a crowd of lads in a quiet bar one night talking about women. There was an oul lad in the corner listening to them. All night, all they could talk about was legs. "Her legs are fabulous", "her legs are this", "her legs are that" blah blah.

Eventually the old man got sick of all this chat and said "ah for feck's sake whats wrong with ye? All ye can talk about is legs legs legs, and when ye get into bed, ye push them out of ye're way!"

Look, I hope I haven't offended you in any of this post, but it sounds to me like you've got SOME physical problems which could be cleared up, but you've LOADS of self-confidence issues. Start concentrating on the fact that you've got a great pair of boobs, and you've a lovely face. If you're looking at yourself in the mirror, and you see something you don't like, IGNORE IT.

I used to have major acne problems. My back was covered in it. I used to be worried that I would never be able to be comfortable with any woman, because I thought that if I ever got to the point where I was with a woman, she would take one look at my back and head for the hills. The first few times I was with someone, I actually didn't take off my shirt for fear of them seeing it. I soon found out that if someone wants to be with you, they're going to be with you regardless.

Borat_Sagdiyev

limklad wrote:

Brillant

Thanks

Borat_Sagdiyev

limklad wrote:

Love yourself unconditionally, you deserve it.
Any doubts or troubles let us know. Here a smile for U

Best advice I've seen here so far.

limklad

Unreg_girl wrote:

Wow! Thanks Borat_Sagdiyev! My God, what a great world this would be if all guys were like you! (presuming you're a guy...) That's some brilliant advice about meeting guys, but I have a massive barrier when it comes to the physical aspect. I don't think any amount of self-reassurance and retraining my thinking will give me a new perspective on my body, which I think is REPULSIVE. Forgive the melodrama but that barely articulates how I feel. I'm not a hugely overweight woman (just over 11 stone) but I think that, naked, I look as bad as a woman who's 25 stone. It's strange because I also see good things about my physicality. I'm actually lucky to have good-shaped legs and ass, and fitted pants and short skirts (with thick black tights!!!) look well on me. I know - plenty of women would give anything for that. That's fine - clothes hide a multitude. IF you saw my legs naked. You would actually puke. They are DISGUSTING!!! ...

You do not know how the guy feel until you test him. If he wants you for sex and shallow then he will puke.. If he loves you for “who you are” then your body is not a problem. I felt for many different types of women types. The common traits amongst them, is how they represent themselves and treat others. Their self confidences shine through in everything they do. They do have insecurity problems too, everybody has them.
The biggest turn off for me is basic hygiene (not extreme which is just as bad as none) and not looking after themselves as it sent out signals that they do not care for themselves or others.

Unreg_girl wrote:

my body's great! :-D

See the positive here. Your words.

Unreg_girl wrote:

I've started this lifestyle change. I've tried it before and always gave up, but this time I'm particularly determined. ...

Find out why you stop. It easier to get back on the bike after falling off once you can see the advantage as you can get farther faster than waking.

Unreg_girl wrote:

I think I have quite a nice face with good skin (thank God the skin on my face isn't as dry as the skin on my legs) and my ass isn't too bad - It's wobbly, pale and cellulite-ridden but no more than your average butt. ...

Can i kiss those wobbly,pale and cellulite-ridden butt and stomach. There is always an solution to every problem.

Unreg_girl wrote:

I've been blessed with a good pair of boobs and, for some reason, the skin from my hips up is in great condition.

Another positive here, good on you, but do not give all your focus on you body. Yes look after it but it is not as important as how you feel about yourself, not your body but U. If you can go for walks, join some aerobitics club in your area, is one solution to your body. You have already come up with other posible solutions, keep it going, you can do it.

The best women I know in my life is two of my aunts and grandmothers. Both of my aunts beat you in all of her body traits. Both are heavier than me and I’m 14 stone. One has 4 kids and got married the other didn’t. What make them special is how the look after themselves and have great personality. Very friendly and have great time for people with a smile that shines through their eyes (even when they are busy). They are the women I respect and love and are complete opposite to my mother. For they earn my trust and love. They are the type of woman, I looking for to settle down with for they are easy to love and be around... you get the picture!
again you know yourself and now start Looking after yourself.
Take care.

limklad

Borat_Sagdiyev wrote:

Here's a joke which may emphasis my point:

There were a crowd of lads in a quiet bar one night talking about women. There was an oul lad in the corner listening to them. All night, all they could talk about was legs. "Her legs are fabulous", "her legs are this", "her legs are that" blah blah.

Eventually the old man got sick of all this chat and said "ah for feck's sake whats wrong with ye? All ye can talk about is legs legs legs, and when ye get into bed, ye push them out of ye're way!"
.

Experience Wise old man - He cuts out the bull**** and know and do what he wants.

stepbar

Unreg_girl wrote:

Wow! Thanks Borat_Sagdiyev! My God, what a great world this would be if all guys were like you! (presuming you're a guy...) That's some brilliant advice about meeting guys, but I have a massive barrier when it comes to the physical aspect. I don't think any amount of self-reassurance and retraining my thinking will give me a new perspective on my body, which I think is REPULSIVE. Forgive the melodrama but that barely articulates how I feel. I'm not a hugely overweight woman (just over 11 stone) but I think that, naked, I look as bad as a woman who's 25 stone. It's strange because I also see good things about my physicality. I'm actually lucky to have good-shaped legs and ass, and fitted pants and short skirts (with thick black tights!!!) look well on me. I know - plenty of women would give anything for that. That's fine - clothes hide a multitude. IF you saw my legs naked. You would actually puke. They are DISGUSTING!!! My thighs are wobbly and flabby beyond belief, riddled with cellulite, really really pale and they go kind of purpley-red in the cold weather. They're also really bumpy and covered in all these infuriating dot things - hair follicles I suppose. And there are loads of blemishes and marks and bruise-type things. And my skin is so dry and flaky.
Warning: the following is graphic! The tops of my thighs meet and this causes cysts to form (I'm sorry - it is gross but I'm on a roll). The skin between my thighs has become kind of discoloured and, I don't know, "loose" is the only word I can use to describe it. My calves have escaped the wobbliness but they're similar to men's calves - like sandpaper the skin is so dry and flaky. And they’re really hard and bumpy and covered in blemishes like my thighs. And my stomach. Oh God my stomach. Two rolls of disgusting flab which can be covered up to point with various tops and hold-in knickers but there’s no way I could let it hang out.
Apart from all that though, my body's great! :-D
Seriously, though, I don't think any guy should have to see that. And I really believe that, no matter how attractive a guy finds me initially - even a really nice one - he won't be long going off me if he saw me naked. I know loads of girls probably think I don't sound any different to them, but I genuinely think you couldn't get more disgusting than me naked, and that only a massively overweight woman could look worse (and only slightly). Whether I'm right or not, I feel the only thing I can do is go on a healthy eating and exercise kick and spend a lot of time exfoliating (which also helps circulation and to get rid of cellulite apparently) and moisturising the dry skin. I doubt I'll ever have silky-smooth, super-toned thighs with a nice golden glow, but I'm going to try and get them to the best condition possible. I've started this lifestyle change. I've tried it before and always gave up, but this time I'm particularly determined. I don't want to sound like a total moaner about my physicality. I think I have quite a nice face with good skin (thank God the skin on my face isn't as dry as the skin on my legs) and my ass isn't too bad - It's wobbly, pale and cellulite-ridden but no more than your average butt. I've been blessed with a good pair of boobs and, for some reason, the skin from my hips up is in great condition.
So it's really just a naked legs and stomach thing...

And Ive a beer belly Im sure youre not discusting but I can see how that can affect your confidence. I lost my all my hair a good many years ago and at the time I kinda sucked it all in and didnt talk about it, tried to hide it, wore caps etc. Then slowly I thought to myself, "well **** this" if someone goes judging me by the amount of hairs on my head well I dont want to know them, lost the caps and just got on with it. I can safely say my skin has got a lot thicker since then.

In all seriousness I have a book at home called Golden Apples by Bill Cullen. People might call the man a bit cheesy etc but I would highly recommend it. He talks about a lot of things through little stories but the basic point he tries to get across is that there is six steps to success. Success to him is whatever you want it to be; may it be running a marathon (which I would advise you do, Im doin one in April and I cant wait to get out there, just go for it and RUN, YEAH ) or whatever you would define success as. You should give it a read, it might give you a bit of a lift.

LegacyUser

Thanks a mil stepbar. And Borat_Sagdiyev and limklad, you're both fantastic! Thank you so much for going to such time and trouble to give me that brilliant advice and reassurance. It hasn't turned me into a new person yet but it's definitely helped me to start thinking in a new light. What a great start to work from. I honestly do see myself a bit differently to when I wrote my last post. I'm going to work from there now.
limklad, I'm very sorry to hear you've had such a tough time with your folks - particularly since you seem like such a wonderful person. It genuinely saddens me. All I can say is well f***ing done for being such a lovely, positive person. I wish you the very best in life and hope that you'll have plenty of good experiences to make up for the bad ones.

LegacyUser

read the thread start to finish,.... some good people in here to take the time to help others,.... surprised me !! well done all, except lorax , obviously.

also unreg-girl, i bet theres a few people here reading that , and thinking , great that somebody else posted it before me !!! and also taking advice on advice that was meant for you !!.

B-hop

Borat_Sagdiyev

Unreg_girl wrote:

Thanks a mil stepbar. And Borat_Sagdiyev and limklad, you're both fantastic! Thank you so much for going to such time and trouble to give me that brilliant advice and reassurance. It hasn't turned me into a new person yet but it's definitely helped me to start thinking in a new light. What a great start to work from. I honestly do see myself a bit differently to when I wrote my last post. I'm going to work from there now.
limklad, I'm very sorry to hear you've had such a tough time with your folks - particularly since you seem like such a wonderful person. It genuinely saddens me. All I can say is well f***ing done for being such a lovely, positive person. I wish you the very best in life and hope that you'll have plenty of good experiences to make up for the bad ones.

Delilghted to hear it. Good for you. Good luck with everything.

LegacyUser

You too. And I couldn't agree more with bernard hopkins. I'm not a cynic but I wouldn't have believed there could be so many nice caring people out there. Well maybe I was a cynic...

limklad

Unreg_girl wrote:

Thanks a mil stepbar. And Borat_Sagdiyev and limklad, you're both fantastic! Thank you so much for going to such time and trouble to give me that brilliant advice and reassurance.

Thanks

Unreg_girl wrote:

It hasn't turned me into a new person yet but it's definitely helped me to start thinking in a new light. What a great start to work from. I honestly do see myself a bit differently to when I wrote my last post. I'm going to work from there now.

One step at a time. It worked for me....

Unreg_girl wrote:

limklad, I'm very sorry to hear you've had such a tough time with your folks - particularly since you seem like such a wonderful person. It genuinely saddens me. All I can say is well f***ing done for being such a lovely, positive person. I wish you the very best in life and hope that you'll have plenty of good experiences to make up for the bad ones.

I was lucky, that other good people gave me some of their the time and saw the best in me.

I need to write an autobiography and it is going to be a thick book!!… I can remember events when I was two year old, still in the old nappies, Rough-tea towel size with big safety pins digging into my hips …. :eek: and smelling bad in the wash bin... I now need a clothe peg for the nose, i can still smell it.

I learn alot and more important i try to understand and listen. It the best we all can do.

P.S. I originally wrote a long reply but i said i better keep it short. I don;t want to put you all to sleep.