Length of time I can go for...

LegacyUser

Hi,

This is my first post and may be my last as I have only 1 real issue at the moment.

I have been seeing a girl for the past few months.

I have only started having sex for the first time.

When we have sex and when I cum then that is it (my errection is over)

She keeps telling me about being with previous guys and going for hours on end.

Do I just need to try again after about 20 minutes to get an errection again so I can keep going with her?

Let me know hwt you guys/gals do?

Am unsure what to do.

Skiesonfire19

Some guys can just keep an erection after they cum, some cant.

Next time your havin sex with her and when you cum, just dont stop.. keep going like nothing happened.. That's usually the secret to it!

Basically it's 'use it, or loose it'.

Skies

AnonoBoy

Sounds like she's being a bit of a bitch - how would she feel if the situations were reversed and you kept going on about other girls that you'd been with. But she could be lying, I take it that you're young (17/18?). In AnonoBoy's experience some girls at that age tend to lie to make themselves seem more mature and also are trying to get you to live up to her Cosmo expectations. If you were thrusting inside her for hours on end she'd be flippin' sore so don't worry about that.

Here's what you do to keep her happy:

Foreplay - Go slowly, kiss her all over but avoid her nipples and genitals. Keep doing this for a bit and then work on her nipples - you'll get a much better reaction because her anticiaption will have been built up. Then work your way down (you may wanna read up online about oral sex techniques). Don't go for full sex until you've got her very very worked up.
During sex - Don't imitate an engine part - it's not a case of just ramming it in repeatedly (although at certain times that can do the trick). Take your time. Sometimes you'll cum before her, sometimes not. Hopefully you'll cum together.

As stated above - when you cum, keep going. When you lose your erection pull out. No big deal. Assure her you just need to rest a bit and then you'll be back at it. If you're young it shouldn't take too long before it's go time again. If you can go several times then you shouldn't hear too many complaints from her in the future. Also you'll find that the second and third times you'll be able to go for longer.

Remember - when you're naked don't just dive straight in. Tease her - take your time - it'll be better for both of you.

Have fun and be safe says Anonboy!

kittenkiller

Skiesonfire19 wrote:

Some guys can just keep an erection after they cum, some cant.

Next time your havin sex with her and when you cum, just dont stop.. keep going like nothing happened.. That's usually the secret to it!

Basically it's 'use it, or loose it'.

Skies

Unless you're wearing a condom & then this can be very risky.

Tell her in as nice a way as possible that she should shut up about her previous lovers while she's with you!
If you wanted to know what they were like in bed you'd take them home instead of her!

Don't stress about it.
Try to satisfy her before you finish up and she should stop complaining.
Everyone's different and in most cases each individual time is different.
Just practice!

LegacyUser

Well I think it's AWFUL of your girlfriend to go on about 'previous guys' lasting hours. I've slept with 3 different guys. None of them ever went 'hours'. Surely, a girl would have more cop on+ be mature enough to know , that that's a definite way to dent a guys confidence. Are you sure you want to go out with someone who is that's ignorant???? Does she somehow think that by telling you about previous guys, that you will somehow 'last longer'... she shouldn't be thinking about them at all...
As girl, my view on sex, is that it's something really intimate+ special. If you stop before you come, then you might be able to last a bit longer, bt personally, it doesn't matter hugely to me how long a guy lasts for... there's other ways you can please a girl

seamus

kittenkiller wrote:

Tell her in as nice a way as possible that she should shut up about her previous lovers while she's with you!

This is pretty much an unwritten rule. Unless someone wants to hear about their lover being with other people, then the default is to keep schtum.

Sex takes a lot more practice than movies and women's magazines would have you believe, so don't feel inadequate or "bad" when it doesn't go right. When you were a kid, it took a few years to learn how to walk steadily and with confidence, so there's no reason to assume why sex should be any easier or more natural.

If you're climaxing before she is, then usually you're just not doing enough foreplay. Try different positions. Most men find that the "Woman on top" position provides more control for them than any of the thrusting positions. This position also gives the woman control over her position, so if needs be she can just grind away until she's done. Certain places go on about "Women need 20 minutes", but with enough foreplay and arousal, there's no reason why she can't hop on top and climax in a matter of seconds.

The only way to find out what works is to experiment. If you keep doing the same thing, and you keep getting the same result, then clearly nothing is going to change. Mix it up a bit. When you're close to climaxing, take a break and return to foreplay.

Sleepy

Sex isn't just intercourse. Once you've cum there's nothing stopping you from continuing in other ways. Try going down on her or using your hands to continue and I've no doubt you'll be back up in a few minutes for round two

LegacyUser

Anonboy -> respect to you man. Cheers for the info. More than helpful.

Thanks to you all for the replies.

Marksie

jay8: good advice there as regards foreplay and the like, there is no reason why a lovemaking session cannot go for hours or be completely composed of foreplay, touching and stroking to one or as many orgasms as you like.

It is a common misconception you see on boards that P*nis = sex, that the only true sex is penetration and that length of time you can last before ejaculation is a measure of how good you are.

On the last point however, there are technisuqs you can use which train the PC muscle and effectively allow you to control ejaculation. In that way you can separate out orgasm from ejaculation.

In general, for men, the orgasm is followed a little time later by ejaculation.

Then you enter a recovery phase, which lasts a varying amount of time until you are ready again.
If you can stop yourself ejaculating then yu can experience orgasm and then continue. though by that time is reached you will have understood that penetration and all that are only a small part of the whole experience so it wont be an issue

However, if these techniques seem to be a little intensive in developing, then by knowing that you will recover at some point. There are sevreal things you can do.
1) lots of froeplay
2) delay your ejaculation by changing pace, position and rhthym follwouing penetration
3) listen to you partner and what noises she makes, they can be a good guide.
If you ejacuate continue with mouth and hands exploring til you have moved passed the recovery phase.

On the subject of your G/friend talking about other men, it has merit in some situations (i.e she is trying to show you how she likes to be touched). But not in this situation where it is obviously causing upset and worry. Perhpas you shoul explain that.

dr.bollocko

Dont be too hard on yerself, sher you only just started man. With time and practice you will get better very quickly. If she starts talking about other men just ignore her and go for the gold, on your own if you have to.

patrickc

except be careful using your mouth after you've ejaculated if you havent used a condom could be a nasty experience..

AngryBadger

Good advice above, as has been said, you've only just started, a handy way to make yourself go longer is gettting to know the feeling when you're about to hit "THE THRESHOLD" then stop having sex.

Probably better to practice this on your own first, get to know how you feel when you're about to climax, then stop. When you're with the gf withdraw and start kissing her, caressing, using your fingers and such, so she;s still happy and your member gets a breather.

In time you'll become more accustomed to yourself, and your stamina will improve old skool.

One more thing, if I were in your position I'd be none too impressed about a girl giving me grief for not being able to stay the pace and the telling me about all the other lads she'd been with...but I'm crazy like that

dr.bollocko

Failing that you could just shag a minger and Im sure that would increase your stamina too......

jdivision

If you've come and she's not, while you're waiting to get hard again enter her with two fingers with your nails facing up towards you. After a few inches you'll come across a walnut type bump. If you alternate rubbing each finger up and down and occasionally rubbing in small circles just under that spot - all the while keeping in contact with her - it drives girls wild. Last girl I was with used to make me do that all the time, she used to get very loud:o

ando

thats not on, the girlfriend talking about other lads she was with... deffo not on!

spurious

jdivision wrote:

If you've come and she's not, while you're waiting to get hard again enter her with two fingers with your nails facing up towards you. After a few inches you'll come across a walnut type bump. If you alternate rubbing each finger up and down and occasionally rubbing in small circles just under that spot - all the while keeping in contact with her - it drives girls wild. Last girl I was with used to make me do that all the time, she used to get very loud:o

I'm not sure the geography described here is correct.

It has been my experience (a woman with women) that the G spot (if this is what is being described) is on the front wall of the vagina - it's spongy rather than walnut like. It can hurt if over-stimulated.

Basically, OP, there are many other things you can do that do not involve your penis. Your gf was well out of order comparing you to others.

Talliesin

patrickc2006 wrote:

except be careful using your mouth after you've ejaculated if you havent used a condom could be a nasty experience..

If you don't like the taste of semen then go down on her while she's lying on her back. It's not going to magically jump up into your mouth. They don't swim that well. :rolleyes:

Tyrant^

Viagra or Rubber band around your penis. Problem solved?

Talliesin

Medicating a problem that isn't medical. Any doctor that would write a script should be struck off.

Rubber bands don't make for great (that is, safe) cock rings.

Besides the main problem is that the OP appears to either be ignorant of the fact that he has two hands and a mouth or else has forgotten to point out to us that he hasn't.

So he scores some viagra and has 2 hours of crap sex rather than a few minutes of crap sex when he should be making his girlfriend bitch about what incompetent lovers she had before he came along. Not progress.

LegacyUser

She sounds like a bit of a bitch tbh...

When i started going out with my gf i was really worried about sex and keeping it going n stuff.. I was fortunate to find a girl who didnt mind, she just enjoyed the intimacy of it.

The thing about 'keeping it up' is that IT is a muscle. Muscles work on the same principals as your dick, so as people have said 'you either use it or lose it'... you dont 'lose' it as such, but your sex time does go down.

Alot of guys will have a **** an hour or so before they know sex is gonna happen, thats an idea.. but i dont think that would work for me. I cant **** for some reason, its odd, but something about it just doesnt appeal to me. So with that in mind, and the fact that im in a long distance relationship, imagion how quick my first shag is of the month? I put it in and its over lol. The key factor is, that my gf understands this and takes comfort in it coz if i went for anytime longer it would be something of a concern for her. I bet, if you spend a day with your GF, and do nothing but shag, you will build up stamina. Thats what we do when she comes over, litterally the first thing when we get in, is put the kettle on, run up stares, shag, come down drink tea, chat, run up, shag, and reapeat for the first day. Then on day two its like i have a callous on my dick, it takes alot of hard work, and she finishes before i do most of the time from then on.

Dont worry about it, if shes not understanding enough, dump her. You will get better, all you need is some practise

akw_old

Skiesonfire19 wrote:

Some guys can just keep an erection after they cum, some cant.

Next time your havin sex with her and when you cum, just dont stop.. keep going like nothing happened.. That's usually the secret to it!

Basically it's 'use it, or loose it'.

Skies

if your wearing a condom doing this, there is a chance the condom can burst.

if you take it out when you cum, and quickly put another condom on,you should be able to keep going.

her talking about her ex's is a load of bull i would think.
when she says that, why not tell her your ex gave a better blow job, or had nicer tits or something.

jdivision

spurious wrote:

It has been my experience (a woman with women) that the G spot (if this is what is being described) is on the front wall of the vagina - it's spongy rather than walnut like. It can hurt if over-stimulated.

I'm describing something else. Was watching Porn: A family affair one night and Seymore Butts was describing the technique I outlined and how it drove girls wild. So I decided to try it and, well, it works:D