GF over Friend

LegacyUser

Most of my friends are in relationships at the moment, theres 4 of us lads who are/were fairly good mates since birth practically, we still see each other a lot, 3 of us are in fairly serious relationships while 1 isnt. the 1 who isnt is always moaning at me in particular any time I spend time with my girlfriend. Me and my gf both work and are both in college (differnet colleges) so the time we get to spend together is few and far between and we make sure we spend every free moment we get together. Yet this guy doesnt understand that. Im not blanking him like I do still try to make time for him and my other mates, but he gets so pissed off and angry when Im spending time with my gf over him. Its causing me stress so Im thinking about just telling him to completely **** off which I know is harsh but I dunno. Any1 been in a similar situation and can offer some advice? Thanks in advance.

eimearnll

hi op,first of all you had a chat with your mate told him how your feeling at the moment,if you have been friends for so long dont tell him to **** off talk to him explain to him that you guys are'nt kids any more and you have to see your gf when you can.with it been xmas and all im sure you have loads of drinking and partying ahead involve him as much as you can he is probably feeling left out id say,over the holidays make a bit of time for him go for a drink with him or something.you never know over the xmas he might meet a girl and problem solved

CathyMoran

The single guy just appears to be jelous, when he gets a gf he will calm down.

DiscoHugh

yea some of my mates would probably say that stuff behind my back now seeing as I work and spend most of my free time with the missus. (I know one or two did when we would talk about other friends with girlfriends). don't care though, just say to him "when you start providing me with regular sex, then we can hang out more!!"

at the same time though. girlfriends come and go, but your real friends should be for life so don't go burning any bridges.

Bottle_of_Smoke

im rarely involved with someone so i know how he's feeling - he'll get over it when he accepts it's just what happens.

Ruu_Old

DiscoHugh wrote:

yea some of my mates would probably say that stuff behind my back now seeing as I work and spend most of my free time with the missus. (I know one or two did when we would talk about other friends with girlfriends). don't care though, just say to him "when you start providing me with regular sex, then we can hang out more!!"

at the same time though. girlfriends come and go, but your real friends should be for life so don't go burning any bridges.

Yep important point. Tell your mate he can continue moaning or spend the time you have together having a bit of craic.

Rb

Set him up with someone perhaps?

Also, I agree with eimearnll, sit him down and talk about it.

AnonoBoy

Playing devil's advocate here for a minute:

Is he like this with your other mates when they spend time with their girlfriends? If not then maybe it's more than just friendship he wants from you. Maybe he's jealous.

Or maybe he's just a selfish bastard.

Húrin

Dere22102sDe007 wrote:

Any1 been in a similar situation and can offer some advice? Thanks in advance.

Be understanding; it's hard for him to be so alone when his friends have girlfriends.

Silent Grape

one of my friends has completely dissapeared from our group of friends since she got a new boyfriend. this new guy she's with is an absolute sweetheart, but he is far more interested in hearing how im getting over a recent breakup than she is! its been three weeks since i was dumped and she hasnt so much as texted me a 'hello, how are u' message. and she lives accross the road from me, and is in college with me.

okay so this is an extreme case because her nature is really self absorbed anyway, regardless of her having a bf or not, but my point is, as long as he knows u love him and are there for him, he should be okay with seeing you whenever you have chance and he'd be more understanding.

people are always okay when we're happy, we only take note of how amazing (or not so) our friends are when things go downhill, so be interested in whats going on in his life, via text/phone of u cant meet up, he sounds like maybe he's a little insecure at the moment and wants affirmation of his importance to you as a friend.

Dutz

mate just try get your g/f to bring one of her mates out one night and you bring your mate - problem solved spending time with both of them and no hassle!!

dvega

Dutz wrote:

mate just try get your g/f to bring one of her mates out one night and you bring your mate - problem solved spending time with both of them and no hassle!!

I agree,and sit him down and tell him what your feeling,if he has any consideration for you as a mate then he should understand.

vorbis

this is a classic "two sides to every story" situation. From his viewpoint, you're probably never around to go out any more, maybe never contact him. If he feels he's always making the effort to get in touch with you, then he's obviously gonna get resentful. Like Silent Grape, I know guys who disappear when they're with someone and then come back and act like nothing happened. It does bug you after a while.