dilemna

analyse this

hi. as you have probably deducted by now...im gay.however i do have a certain attraction to girls that i can never understand. it is somewhat sexual, but deep down i think i know that i have never been truly attracted to a woman.

i've known that i was gay for a while now and i am completely comfortable with myself and my sexuality. however its the opinions of those around me that scare me and i haven't come out to anyone...even my gay friends.

Actually, when i was younger, around 11/12, i did explain to my parents that i was having these strange feelings towards other older boys but they convinced me that it was just a stage. whether they truly did believe that it was a stage or if they just didn't want to accept that i was different i dont know.

I have a girlfriend. We have been dating 8 months now and the longer i stay in the relationship the more i feel that i am making things worse. i have been contemplating breaking up with her for a while now, but it would destroy me if i had to hurt her and i know that if i broke up with her i would hurt her. i know i could tell her im gay but wouldnt that make me even more terrible? that i have been playing someone who i am not for 8 months and have been dragging her along with me? i have been attracted to this guy that i have met at a few nightclubs on the weekends and i really want to persue it...for once i would like to abandon my fears and inhibitions and just truly be myself. but if my gf ever saw me with him after i break up with her...she would never forgive me! of course i would never cheat on my gf...regardless of my true feelings...but i feel like im coming to a crossroads in my life and that the time as come to make a decision, take the leap and come out! the only problem is that i have never been so terrified in my life!

Shellie13

Go for it!
If you don't take the plunge once in a while you'll never get what you want out of life!

Yes your gf is likelyto be upset, angry even rejected and inadiqute but the longer you draw it out the worse it'll become!
you seem to see straight and gay and nothing in between the attractiion you feel for girls may indeeed be valid but shes not what you want right now!
And maybe its just cos im odd or what ever but if i had to chose a reason for bin dumped that oretty much tops it- can't be taken personally but that just my opinion!
Let her down gently obviously but i gotta make urself happy too!

keynesian

Shellie13 wrote:

you seem to see straight and gay and nothing in between the attractiion you feel for girls may indeeed be valid but shes not what you want right now!

My thoughts exactly.

What ever your sexuality, you sound like your already look further afield and your not going to be happy till you explore the posiblitys. I'm guessing your young and therefor have time to get into and out of relationships.

oh, and I think she's going to be pissed off caz your dumping her.

Boston

Stay with her or break up with her on the merits of who she is and whether or not you want to be with her. People like to make out things are complicated when they really arn't.