Christmas Carol Conundrum

Gizzle

Something Christmassy has been bothering me, in one of the Santa Claus carols, it states;

"He knows if you've been bad or good/So be good for goodness sakes!"

But the whole idea of Santa is that he gives gifts as rewards to good boys and girls for their behaviour over the preceding year. So, on the one hand, the carol is advocating that children should always be good because it's "the right thing" to do ("...be good for goodness sakes!"), and on the other it's basically contradicting that, using a withdrawal of present privileges as a deterrant to bad behaviour, thus telling the youth of today that the only reason for behaving well is to receive gifts.

In conclusion it's these mixed messages that I feel are corrupting children, and will lead to the collapse of civilisation. Look, I've made this handy equation;

(Mixed Messages(Behaviour For Sake x Behaviour For Reward)) + Children = Apocalypse

Lust4Life

I have been a VERY bad bad girl. Santa ALWAYS rewards me!:p

Gizzle

I haven't factored in the dichotomy of reward for bad behaviour...perhaps you get some kind of reverse Santa...One to ponder.

chamlis

You mean the "Anti-Claus"?

Lust4Life

Posted by Gizzle :
I haven't factored in the dichotomy of reward for bad behaviour...perhaps you get some kind of reverse Santa...One to ponder.

Reverse Santa? Um.... no.... he doesn't use my ....back door....:eek:

Gizzle

Back door Santa...this is getting more confusing as it goes on! Does that also herald the existence of seperate entities like Missionary Santa, Reverse Cowgirl Santa and Santa 69???

Lust4Life

Oh, noooo! He is one and the same man! Why do you think he's so Jolly!?

Gizzle

But how does he get around to service all of the bad girls in the world in just one night??!!:eek:

And Santa 69 is probably partial to receiving the odd gift too.

Gizzle

chamlis wrote:

You mean the "Anti-Claus"?

Or Santa Claws from that Aussie yoke, "Around The Twist"...

Hail 2 Da Chimp

Its an interesting theory alright. I just hope santa doesnt come to bad boys I will be locking my bedrom door christmas eve!

Le Rack

and sleeping with your back to the wall ey?

there's only one thing I want from santa and it's not in his sack....

Hail 2 Da Chimp

Or is it? OR IS IT?????


Its in his hairy sack of magic isnt it?

Gizzle

Lock the door AND make sure you block the fire in your bedroom. This Nympho Claus seems to have a penchant for back passages.

Le Rack

mmm back passages....

Gizzle

It's official, innuendo > philosophical musings.

Making your chimney chute smaller doesn't works unfortunately.The tighter the back passage the quicker Santa comes down it.

Hail 2 Da Chimp

Le Rack wrote:

mmm back passages....

Im guessing Santas not the only one who likes back passages o_0

Capt'n Midnight

www.av1611.org/othpubls/santa.htm

The bizarre and mutual attributes of Thor and Santa are no accident.

While the pagan brush strokes of Norse mythology has painted some of the traits of Santa Claus, there exists another brush stroke coloring Santa that bids our inspection.

There is a little-known piece in the life of Santa that time and tradition has silently erased. Few people are aware that for most of his life, St. Nicholas (Sinter Klaas, Christkind, et. al.) had an unusual helper or companion. This mysterious sidekick had many names or aliases. He was known as Knecht Rupprecht; Pelznickle; Ru-Klas; Swarthy; Dark One; Dark Helper; Black Peter; Hans Trapp; Krampus; Grampus; Zwarte Piets; Furry Nicholas; Rough Nicholas; Schimmelreiter; Klapperbock; Julebuk; et. al.

Though his name changed, he was always there.

Some other well known titles given to St. Nick’s bizarre companion is a demon, evil one, the devil and Satan. One of his dark duties was to punish children and "gleefully drag them to hell."

randylonghorn

Gizzle wrote:

Making your chimney chute smaller doesn't works unfortunately. The tighter the back passage the quicker Santa comes down it.

Anyway, never figured out how to make my chimney chute smaller ... any hints?

boneless

Santa sucks... it's official!

Capt'n Midnight

boneless wrote:

Santa sucks... it's official!

Official links please.

Kojak

boneless wrote:

Santa sucks... it's official!

He sucks what???? :eek:

Should he even be allowed near children?

randylonghorn

boneless wrote:

Santa sucks... it's official!

Hmmm ... have just popped in for a quick one in the pub down the street on the way back from shopping, and there's a gang of women dressed in Santa outfits starting their Christmas work party ... I wonder did they get a copy of the official rule book when they hired the outfits??

boneless

Well... really... Rudolph told me...:o

randylonghorn

Don't mind that fella, the elves say he's always making up stories. They say Prancer used to be called Studly before Rudolph started spreading his vile insinuations, and as for getting the tooth gnome his new name ...