Crap Sex - Girlfriend Losing Patience?

LegacyUser

Ok, I might look at this from a light harted point of view, but it is now what I would consider a serious problem as it may be jeprodising my relationship..

Me and my girlfriend have been together about 4-5 months (I'm 23 by the way..) and despite a tricky patch early on, we came through it and things are now going great.

We have a lot of fun together, we're open with eachother and can talk to eachother like 2 people who have been together for years...we've really hit it off!

But there's a small problem that is gradually turning into a deal breaker!!

Last night me and my girlfriend had sex, and I came pretty much within 10 seconds of penetration and despite my best efforts to keep going, my penis just went on the complete flop...I never felt so embarresed or ashamed before in my life and kind of went went a bit "cold" or off with her in bed cause I didnt know what to say...

Anyway, she kept kissing me and rubbing against me or whatever to get things goinng but NOTHING was happening, so I had to fein disinterest...she said "have you given up already??"

So after lieing there for a bit, I decided this isnt fair on her and I need to talk to her about it and see what she's thinking...

So I said to her I was sorry..I don't know why this is happening...maybe it's because she's on the pill and i've never been with a girl on the pill before and I cant handell the sensations or something so I just cum really quick..

Maybe it's because for the first couple of months we were together (through cercumstances) we didn't have sex and I didn't have sex anyway for a couple of months before that, that I just blow my load at any given oppertunity?

But I don't think it's that, because I have had many sexual encounters in the past and would consider, for someone my age, to be more experienced than most, but this has NEVER happend before...coming early on and then going on the complete flop straight after (even while i'm having sex!!)

I would also consider myself to be good in bed, what I mean is I never had problems giving past girlfriends orgasims...but with my current girlfriend she's barely getting warmed up and I'm already done...

It's got to the stage that I dread having sex, and in the lead up to sex I know it's coming and I get nervous (that's not it by the way cause it was happeing well b4 i started feeling like this) and my foreplay is weak at best, I just feel like I'm 17 again and don't have a clue what I'm doing!!

This is really really bothering me now and I'm thinking is it something to do with the current girlfriend? Am i becoming impodent? How do I stop myself from coming stragiht away?

What can I do!!? I don't want to lose this girl but I understand any girl has a limit to her patience and at this stage of the relationship, dosen't she deserve at least ONE orgasim???

(By the way, foreplay, using my hands, isn't going great, I feel awkward and I don't want to go down on her just yet, although I think I'm good at it, I'm far to awkward and nervous at this stage I think i'll get big day nerves and not know what I'm doing down there and then coming back up will be a nightmare, her just lieing there thinking "What the fu*k is this guy at??")

I think I needed a bit of a rant, but I'm also desperate for advise from lads to see if they've ever experienced this and what can be done, and advise from girls to tell me what's going on in her head??

Thanks

Beruthiel

Squirt wrote:

It's got to the stage that I dread having sex, and in the lead up to sex I know it's coming and I get nervous (that's not it by the way cause it was happeing well b4 i started feeling like this) and my foreplay is weak at best, I just feel like I'm 17 again and don't have a clue what I'm doing!!

It's quite obvious what's wrong with you, you're as nervous as hell and as a result cannot perform as you'd like to. RELAX!

advise from girls to tell me what's going on in her head??

She's probably wondering if there is something you don't like with regards to her. Perhaps you have made her doubt herself. Nip that in the bud and be honest with her.
Personally, I find that if I'm getting the whole truth on any given situation I will be very open to help and take the time required to make things better.
You know her long enough to be open and honest at this stage.
Why not just tell her that you like her a lot and because of this you have put pressure on yourself to perform and as a result you have just made things worse.
It's a bit like a job interview, when you don't care whither you get the job or not, you do a great interview, when you really want the job, you do a crap one.
Ask her to help you out and tell you what she wants from you. Being with someone for a long period of time will always improve sex for both parties as ye get to know each other. Relax and take time with each other. Start with your foreplay and stop thinking that she won't like it, negative thoughts never ever help with performance.
Again, honesty never fails.

Ph3n0m

Sorry OP - so this has happened more then once. Its just your post indicates that it happened only once - and then you talk about it like its a re-occuring problem.

Well whether it happened once or more then that - it can be very frustrating (not just to your gf). There could be any number of reasons besides nervousness that can cause that. You could be getting insanely worked up - even without foreplay and believe me that can have a detrimental effect on your performance.

Might I suggest cracking one off in private earlier on in the night? This is not a joke at your expense, but it is known that if a guy masturbates earlier on in the day - or even several hours before having sex - it does take a bit longer for him to achieve orgasm later on. So I would suggest trying that, see if it works.

You admit your foreplay is somewhat weak (your opinion, not necessarily your gfs) but so what practise makes perfect - you can always bring her to orgasm without actually having sex with her and sometimes that can be fun too. You have to realise your relationship is still young and it does need time - its extremely rare for any man to be a complete "stud" in bed

Heisenberg.

This post has been deleted.

ferdi

Ph3n0m wrote:

I suggest cracking one off

The Scientist wrote:

Just rub one out

LOL:D

OP, there's more than one way to pluck a chicken. dont even go near your pants til you've sorted your gf out and i'd imagine all will be forgiven?

turbot

Hey - there's loads of things you can do to learn your way out of this:

Get the book "The Multi-Orgasmic Man" by Dr Mantak Chia.

That'll help you get better control.


Also - the more times you orgasm in a night, what tends to happen is the more effort the next one requires. You can use this principle to your advantage.

You could also make a deal with her where if you don't last 5 minutes, you have to give her a full body massage and pleasure her in all kinds of other ways. If she understands this, then you can relax, because non-performance has perks for her as much as lasting for an hour and a half ;-)

panda100

Squirt wrote:

..I don't know why this is happening...maybe it's because she's on the pill and i've never been with a girl on the pill before and I cant handell the sensations or something so I just cum really quick..

Does that mean your not using a condom?Just cos she's on the pill doesnt mean you cant catch an sti from her or her from you. Both get your selves tested before you start not to use condoms. Also there is a condom called 'performa' from Durex that iprevent you from coming too quickly,It might be useful to you. My ex used to get way to excited to quickly and this calmed him down a bit:)

Sleepy

Make her orgasm through foreplay / oral sex before you move onto penetration, that way if you don't last very long you'll both have had your orgasms, your confidence will build through making her cum and you'll relax about sex to the point where this will be something you'll look back at and laugh about...

ZenforHead

my advice-masturbate an hour or two before having sex. You wont come as quickly. If that doesnt work, you need to strengthen your urethral muscles. Basically, if you pee and then stop the flow half way through, they're the muscles you feel working. If you feel yourself about to come, tense the muscles as hard as you can even though it doesnt feel like it'll work, it will. Also, you should probably use a condom, it didnt sound like you used one.

ZenforHead

haha. I just read all the posts above that suggested the exact same thing about
getting yourself off as me. The muscle thingworks though. Although I probably have the name for them wrong.

Marksie

turbot wrote:

Hey - there's loads of things you can do to learn your way out of this:

Get the book "The Multi-Orgasmic Man" by Dr Mantak Chia.

That'll help you get better control.


Also - the more times you orgasm in a night, what tends to happen is the more effort the next one requires. You can use this principle to your advantage.

You could also make a deal with her where if you don't last 5 minutes, you have to give her a full body massage and pleasure her in all kinds of other ways. If she understands this, then you can relax, because non-performance has perks for her as much as lasting for an hour and a half ;-)

Yep... pC control as detailed in the boook is good. The aim is to orgasm without ejaculation. Also.. try to slow your rythym. pause and pentarte shallowly.
But we are getting a little ahead of ourselves.
you are getting intoa bit of a tangle by dreading sex, you are going to make this worse and worse. you have to, essentailly go back to basics.

Is ther something more that we shuld know..what dynamic is going on here that is causing this? I suspect there is something more to this... why do you think it may be the girlfriend?

Also... why did you "feign disinterest"?..wouldnt it be better to have been honest and communicated directly to your partner. It may have been more understanding to have said that you came staright away. She may be picking up the wrong message from you.

Why is your foreplay weak..what is going on to cause this? and why are you setting time restraints for oral sex?

There is some basic communication and connection issue here.

Perhaps it is time you opened to each other and went right back to basics... have nights where penetration is not going to occur. Total foreplay nights.
Even say it.. that you want to learn about her..every curve and line. Be daring and be honest..say what is going on and what yu want to do about it... every woman is different... learn about her before going furter. Use the foreplay as the building blocks and the house will be built later

feckidyparp

Talk to your gf about this. Communication is the quick way through this. with her letting you know whats nice and whats not, and with you paying close attention to her, you'll soon be wondering what the fuss was about. you wont go far wrong with her leading the way.
As far as coming early goes, the posts previous have suggested cracking one off before hand and thats not a bad idea. Another idea would be to delay your own orgasm by stopping the penetration and going down on her for a while, while you relax.
I wouldn't worry about not getting a hard on straight away after orgasm. Sure what your rush. you have a naked girl in your bed wanting to have a little fun with YOU. So make it fun, take the pressure off yourself and enjoy it.
I might have muddled my point there so I'll say it again. Talk to your girl friend. when you know whats right for her and whats not you'll be blowing her mind in no time.

onemanband

Give her lots of oral and then use a Durex Performa. Problems solved

Talliesin

Squirt wrote:

Anyway, she kept kissing me and rubbing against me or whatever to get things goinng but NOTHING was happening,

"NOTHING was happening"? You lost all power in your mouth and hands?

Squirt wrote:

so I had to fein disinterest...

No, you didn't have to feign that at all, and I think it was a very bad idea.

Really, do you think she'd rather be with someone who's able to go at it for hours but has no interest in doing so with her than someone who finds her deeply attractive but didn't last quite as long as he'd like to?

Squirt wrote:

maybe it's because she's on the pill and i've never been with a girl on the pill before and I cant handell the sensations or something so I just cum really quick..

Firstly an aside here. Maybe you've done the necessary discussion about sexual history and/or STI-test history to make a reasoned decision to not use barrier contraception. If not do.

That aside, it could indeed be a factor. The sensations without a condom are indeed different and the vast majority of us do find them better and as part of that do find that we don't last as long.

Squirt wrote:

Maybe it's because for the first couple of months we were together (through cercumstances) we didn't have sex and I didn't have sex anyway for a couple of months before that, that I just blow my load at any given oppertunity?

That could also be a factor. If there's been a build up of sexual tension between two people that finally gets a release then, unlike the movies where the tension between the two characters being released involves lots of soft-lighting, mood music and generous cutting to imply that the 5-minute sex-scene you're seeing represents at least 4 hours of action, things tend to happen quite quickly.

That said it tends to happen quite quickly, but also be quite good, because there's no reason you can't do some more.

Squirt wrote:

because I have had many sexual encounters in the past and would consider, for someone my age, to be more experienced than most,

I think this kind of thinking tends to not be very useful.

You've already stated differences between this sexual encounters and all of the ones you've had before, so in this particular case there are pertinent ways in which you are inexperienced.

Some parts of how sexuality is constructed ties sexual experience to ego, particularly for men - that it's good to be experienced and we can stroke our ego a bit by telling ourselves that we're experienced.

However, focussing on the ways in which we are inexperienced, have more to learn and have more to practice help get a better perspective on things where we worry less because things don't go perfectly all the time (the only people with a 100% rate of perfect sex are virgins and liars) be more open to learning how we could be doing things better and have less ego problems when it comes to listening to our lovers.

Squirt wrote:

I would also consider myself to be good in bed,

I think it can be a good idea to try to hold an attitude of modest confidence, where you aren't telling yourself that you're good in bed or that you're not. The more you think about your own prowess, whether positively or negatively, the more you're getting into a mental space that's all about ego and anxiety.

Squirt wrote:

my foreplay is weak at best

Well, get better at it. Foreplay is learned behaviour, not something you've a natural level of ability with that'll never change.

Also, it's not foreplay. Try to forget that word and think about play. Whether it comes before or after intercourse, or happens on its own, or doesn't happen on occasion because quickies can be fun too, it's pretty much the same thing. The concept of "foreplay" leads to the concept of intercourse as "the main event" and once you're there you're only a few steps away from the point where you'd be better off giving her a rampant rabbit and heading down to the pub for a couple of pints.

This is not to say that it's necessarily wrong to have intercourse as how you finish, or as the thing you like the best, or anything like that, just that it's not necessarily right either. The sex police will not kick in your door if you finger her clitoris or kiss an erogenous zone after you've had intercourse. It's also a lot more likely that you will be able to have intercourse again if you concentrate on doing that than if you are doing something with the intention of "trying to get things going".

Really, she probably felt like writing "maybe I liked the 'rubbing against me or whatever' myself" on a piece of two-by-four and smacking you across the head with it*.

Squirt wrote:

(By the way, foreplay, using my hands, isn't going great, I feel awkward and I don't want to go down on her just yet, although I think I'm good at it, I'm far to awkward and nervous at this stage I think i'll get big day nerves and not know what I'm doing down there and then coming back up will be a nightmare, her just lieing there thinking "What the fu*k is this guy at??")

Okay. Firstly, you know that bit where you said you thought you were good in bed and I said it wasn't useful to hold onto that thought too strongly? I think we can let go of that thought entirely for a bit.

Secondly, why don't you want to go down on her "just yet"? What on earth are you doing sticking your willy into anything when you haven't gone that far.

Okay, if you've been driving each other nuts with desire for a few months you get one moment of just going "boing" at each other like you've only got 6 seconds to try to repopulate a dying planet, but after that lay off the wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am for a bit and start having sex properly for a bit.

This is another case where focusing on the ways in which you are inexperienced rather than the ways in which you are experienced would help.

If you were a graduate from the companion's guild in Firefly then it would indeed be a deeply worrying thing that you weren't finding manual stimulation to be going very well and were unsure about cunnilingus.

Luckily you are in the real world, and haven't undergone years of training in sexual technique, so there's no reason in the world to expect to be brilliant at it, but also no reason in the world why you can't learn to be better.

Let go of your ego and learn what works for her. Read through the previous threads in this forum over the last couple of months about sexual technique (e.g. you're not confident about cunnilingus, so see if anything in the thread on that in early November helps). If you have a particular problem about a particular thing that comes up for you ask here again. If you want to just talk about what's good and not for different people subscribe and ask in S&S. Google relevant terms (though it is hard to find the useful stuff in all the porn). Read sex manuals. Have fun. Listen to what she has to say because really no two people are alike and everything you can learn from third party sources, and that's a lot, is all a matter of learning things you can try that may not have occurred to her. The ultimate source of information on what is good for her is her, so get yourself into a mental space where to two of you can talk freely about what's good and not. The two biggest steps here will be when she says "no, that's not doing anything for me at all" and you don't react badly and when she says "no, that's not doing anything for me at all today" about something that sometimes does work for her big time and again you don't react badly. Once it's clear that she can say something like that and you're not going to be crushed by hearing something like that you'll break through to a whole new level of open conversation that will lead to really, really great sex.

But most of all let go of your ego. It's your ego that's turning this situation from "I'm in bed with a woman I find deeply attractive and have an emotional bond with and she wants us to enjoy each other's bodies - woohoo!" to "My girlfriend is pissed off because I'm being crap at sex".

*This statement is not intended to condone using pieces of two-by-four in acts of violence against ones lovers.

LegacyUser

'Hi, Thanks for all the replys. A lot of it is very usefull but i've only had a chance now to get back and read...

Anyway, my main kind of point was that "normally" sex is something myself and my (other) partner(s) really enjoy, I'm relaxed, I like all the foreplay and do it as often and as long as i can...also sex used to be something that I could preform for a decent amount of time...I mean I would always cum well before I finished and eventually the end result would be the girl cuming...

Also, I used to ALWAYS wear a condom, she's the first girl I havn't with and we have had sti checks and that talk and all...

Now, I'm not saying this out of ego...quite the opposite..I'm saying it because it's exactly whats worrying me..

A couple of nights ago me and my girlfriend had sex since the last time...I was better this time, I know she enjoyed it somewhat, but the main problems persisted...

I came Very quickly, BUT i kept going as much as I could, normally I would stay errect and could keep going for a while longer despite the fact i came and long enough for her to enjoy too...but what's freaking me out now is that all of a sudden, whenever I cum, that's it!! I find it very difficult to go errect again and when I do it's short lived...

Last time after I came I went on the flop, so I pulled out, kind of pushed our pelvis' together kissed, used my hand and stuff untill EVENTUALLY going semi-errect again, and I'm not being funny, I was trying to have sex with a cocktail sausage...like playing pool with a rope...this is getting humiliating...

Before the last time we had sex I talked to her about the sex not being great and not much passion (reason being it's over before it's started) and she was cool about it and said it might take time and stuff....but there's NO WAY I can turn around and say I can't get it up after the initial cum, and in the lead up it can be errect for long long times when in bed doing nothing just lieing there, to cuddling to fooling around, it's errect all the time, but as soon as I cum...that's it...

I have honsetly considerd viagra, but don't want to go to a doctor, but it's not so much the early coming that bothers me I just want to be able to keep it up long enough for her to come after all the foreplay (I am working on getting back to the foreplay, and it was better last time) but I want us to both cum from penetrative sex and I know that's what she wants too taking what I could from our previous conversation..

This is so annoying, frustrating, worrynig, embarresing...the list goes on...every time I think about it I feel terrible...not just because of that...but imagine I lost the one girl I really cared about because I couldn't preform in bed...she really liked me (i know she does) but I was so sh*t in bed she dumped me...Oh my god!! That's one way to fu*k yourself up and give you a complex for the rest of your life...

HELP?! '

Marksie

Squirt wrote:

'
...also sex used to be something that I could preform for a decent amount of time...I mean I would always cum well before I finished and eventually the end result would be the girl cuming...


I came Very quickly, BUT i kept going as much as I could, normally I would stay errect and could keep going for a while longer despite the fact i came and long enough for her to enjoy too...

Last time after I came I went on the flop, so I pulled out, kind of pushed our pelvis' together kissed, used my hand and stuff untill EVENTUALLY going semi-errect again, and I'm not being funny, I was trying to have sex with a cocktail sausage...like playing pool with a rope...this is getting humiliating...

I can't get it up after the initial cum, and in the lead up it can be errect for long long times when in bed doing nothing just lieing there, to cuddling to fooling around, it's errect all the time, but as soon as I cum...that's it...

HELP?! '

Well.. can you see a preoccupation with a certain part of the anatomy?

Very, very one dimensional thinking

Your focussing on your Own genitals and assuming that that is the be all and end all.

Goes to show..sleeping around does not necessarily equate to experience.

What is the fascination with time??? do you have stopwatch or starter gun there??

Look and try to understand some of these posts..

SEX DOES NOT EQUAL PENETRATION

FORGET YOUR P*NIS AS THE SOLE SOURCE AND BE ALL AND END ALL.

PUT YOUR OWN ORGA*M TO ONE SIDE

COMMUNICATE AND PLAY

BREAK THOSE BLASTED WATCHES

Beruthiel

marksuttonie wrote:

SEX DOES NOT EQUAL PENETRATION

FORGET YOUR P*NIS AS THE SOLE SOURCE AND BE ALL AND END ALL.

quoted for truth

Talliesin

Damn right.

OP. How often have you had sex in your life without doing anything with your penis but just concentrating on the many other things that you can do?

So you could go for a "decent amount of time". Have you ever gone longer than 24 hours? I have. Not because I'm 24 * 60 / (your maximum) times better than you, but because I use all of my body.

Happy enough with the size of your penis? Who cares, using all my body I've got 5' 10" of me to use including about 3lbs of brain.

You're not giving yourself a chance to be anything but crap. Being with a lover should be quantitively and qualitively different from grabbing some tissues and knocking one off from the wrist.

Leave your willy alone a bit. See how many orgasms you can give her before you even take off your pants.

Marksie

Talliesin wrote:

3lbs of brain.

And that is perhaps the most sensual organ of all.

Guess what OP, she will have one too.. and with imagination, the right way of talking and the right mental stimulus, it is entirely possible to induce an ectstatic state without touching at all.

But Op we are not targeting you in a bad way. I admit what I know would fill a bucket... what I don't know would fill an ocean.

When someone believes they know it, they are closed. By admitting you don't know it, then you are open to experience and change.

By being open you will be able to learn, in gaining knowledge you will then understand how much more there is to know.
Its never ending, even in a longterm relationship... its never ending

Talliesin

marksuttonie wrote:

When someone believes they know it, they are closed. By admitting you don't know it, then you are open to experience and change.

A big part of why I've said that telling yourself that you're good in bed isn't very useful.

Another part is ego.

Squirt wrote:

I'm not saying this out of ego...quite the opposite..I'm saying it because it's exactly whats worrying me

But the thing is, that is ego.

I'm not talking about whether you brag or not (if you want to brag to your mates fine, it'll probably bore them and your partner might think it improper, but it won't actually make you crap).

Ego isn't just about building yourself up in your own mind. It can also be about building yourself up and then reacting badly when you fail to live up to how you've built yourself up.

Telling yourself you're great is a matter of ego. Telling yourself you're crap is a matter of ego. Both will cut you off from growing and learning.

You say you're worried because you used to be good and now you're not. I think it's rather a case of you being worried because you used to think you were good and now you don't - how good you actually were doesn't affect this.

Now this isn't to say that its always wrong to get some ego-boo. Sex should make you feel good about yourself, and certainly, when her legs are quivering against the side of your head so much you're beginning to worry that she'll break your neck by all means enjoy the ego-boost that brings.

I'm not suggesting that you completely remove your ego from the equation, because that's simply impossible.

But don't beat yourself up when things aren't perfect.

Things aren't always perfect for me, but since I don't keep telling myself I'm a great lover I don't react with "Oh no! I used to be really good and now I'm not", but with "Okay, that isn't going so good, maybe I can try something else, or maybe I'll just see what s/he'd like to do".

Some of the best sex I've had, for both me and my partner, started with things not going well. Some of the worse too because it's not always possible for things to go perfectly, but again I'm not telling myself I'm perfect in bed so I don't let a case of imperfection eat at me the next time.

Most of all, the less you're listening to yourself saying "I'm great" or "I'm crap" the more you're listening to her telling you what she likes, dislikes, isn't enjoying right now even though she often does, would be kinda into trying even though she doesn't normally like it, is enjoying right now, isn't enjoying right now etc. Too often people try to tell their lovers what they'd like but feel (whether it's true or not) that they're going to upset them.

Once you've managed to react well to your lover saying things aren't going too well for them (i.e. you a. don't get upset and/or refuse to accept that it can't be good and b. do the thing she's suggesting) it becomes increasingly easy for them to tell you more and more and for you to become much better at pleasing her.

(This is also a big reason why people should never fake it. You're only bring bad sex on yourself, whether because that person is your long-term lover and they're not learning, or because you're ending a one-night-stand by sending someone with a falsely inflated sense of how good they are back into the dating pool).

dr.bollocko

If you have a problem with your dick, then please stop taking it out on your dick. It IS NOT your poor dick's fault.
Your obsession with this problem will prove to be the elephant in the room every time that you have sex from now until you just get the hell over it.

If you and your partner want to have sex, as other posters have said, you know yourself that penetration is just one of many different things that you can enjoy with your partner. Lets not go into that one any further, read the above posts and LISTEN!
But mostly this problem with you cumming too quickly is something that is in your head, bothering you in the lead up to sex, bothering you during, and bothering you even more after. It won't help to talk to your girlfriend about it because she isnt going to have the same weird complex about it that you are guaranteed to have. (Not just you either, lots of guys have (hehe) ups and downs and have a (hehe) hard time dealing with them). But the only way of solving this one is just to stop worrying about it.
Maybe its God's way of teaching you not to be so penetration focused. Maybe its that you find your girlfriend so damn hot that you just cant control yourself. But just enjoy it. Sex is supposed to be FUN. Not the source of all your worries.

girl25

hi i read through alot fo the replies and ye alot do make sense. but i d liketo give my female view on it and tell ya about my experience.

i met my partner nearly 7 yrs ago sex for us do the first few months was crap. We were so attracted to each other that he wud blow his load so quick and go soft. so over time we realised what worked of us. We have alot of foreplay as i m a very hard woman to please i cant orgasim with a man on top of me. so we have foreplay him giving me oral and me giving him oral but i stop just before he wud get there and let him play with me again until i m ready to get on top and orgasim through penetration. but over time doing this he is now built up his stamina to stay harder longer and hold onlonger before he cums. you need to talk to ur gf again and see what she likes and try hol don a little longer like stop for a sec when u feel ur going to cum to quick but still play with her and btw the **** thing is a good idea. Alot of men i know have probs at sum point in there life not being able to stay hard it is norm but u have to figure out now what is right for u and the partner u are with experiment and enjoy it even if it means pulling out ad taking a breather.

rediguana

Strategy:

1. Talk about it with her or it'll become an 'issue'.

2. Widen your bag of tricks to include every non-penetrative sex act you can think of.

3. Practise deep breathing. Take up yoga.

4. Exercise your Kiegel muscles. Consult net to find out more about this.

5. Taking a supplement like Gingko Biloba or Tribulus Terrestris may increase your libido and stamina.

6. Have a few drinks before (not during) sex. This will make you more relaxed, talkative, and should dull the sensation somewhat. Don't drink so much that you move from Premature Ejaculation to Brewer's Droop.

7. Get her a vibrator so at least she's not frustrated by not coming.

8. If you come, trying to have sex straight away again is just setting yourself up for a fall. Don't do it. If you can prise yourself away from her lusty grip, get up, maybe stick your boxers back on to fool your cock into thinking it had a break. Then, after at least ten or fifteen minutes, maybe chance it again.

Maybe I'll think of more later...