Santa

wheelbarrow

Santa is a Bastard, and i`m telling you why,
I want that f*ck to f*ck off and die.
He`s a cheat and a low life who you can`t trust one bit,
That bearded twat is a little ****.

Up in the North Poll he sits at leisure each year,
work as Christmas is his only fear.
He treats his elfs totally crap and treats them bad.
That Red suited b*stard is totally sad.

A couple of years ago i sent a letter to old Saint Nic,
And his response made me totally sick.
All i got was some sweets, socks and a digital watch,
Next time i see him i`ll kick is crotch.

A plane, a plane is all that i put in my little letter,
and that year i could not have behaved any better.
For the local priesthood i sang and i carried,
Only for them i`d now be married.

I`m now aged 48 and make a last appeal to the bearded one,
Please grant my wish - just this one.
A fisherprice plane is all i request,
Please leave it, with a bottle of Bud under my office desk.

For the past 41 years you have let me down,
You have made my Christmas into a Christmas frown.
So this year make me smile, make me smile from cheek to cheek.
And make this last in 07 for every week.

Hail 2 Da Chimp

OOooOOOHHhhhhhh you are deffinatly not getting ANY presents!!!!

Donegal Lass

Well this is just blasphemy!! :eek:

Hail 2 Da Chimp

You tell him DL.

//Starts to sing

Your not gonna get any presents!!!

Donegal Lass

oh he is guna get a present...because Santas cool and not mean like yourman here! but he'll only get coal!!:)

spacecoyote

if you ask for coal for christmas, and you're on the naughty list, what does santa bring you?

Hail 2 Da Chimp

A punch in the face!

Donegal Lass

ouch, now now ladies, handbags please!!

spacecoyote

a punch in teh face ay, santa's all about the tough love isn't he

wheelbarrow

Shouldnt really write poetry when i come home drunk.

boneless

I liked it...

When I workrd in the Post Office I used to love sending the letters kids wrote to Santa back to them.... with DECEASED stamped on them...:D

Lust4Life

Boneless, you ARE mean after all!

boneless

I am the spirit of Christmas stolen by bad men in masks...

Hail 2 Da Chimp

Stolen and violated

boneless

And buried the corpse under the tree...

Kojak

Hail 2 Da Chimp wrote:

A punch in the face!

A punch in the nuts - now, that's tough love

boneless

I want one of these for Crimbo...

Star Lord

Dear Santa,

Thank you for your presents last year, I have tried to be a good boy all year. I haven't always been good, but I at least pretend to be, but thats almost as good, right?

Anyway, down to brass tacks.

This christmas could I please have this...
I would have wanted it for a long time and have thrown little tantrums because I couldn't get it before, but its what I really want.

This is still my favourite toy by the way!

Yours,
G. W. Bush.

boneless

And a set of these...

spacecoyote

Hail 2 Da Chimp

None of those pictures work... and im sure they're scantly clad girls


Oh the humanity!

spacecoyote

yes they are the wonderful adriana lima
how bout this one

Star Lord

O_O

That one works!

boneless

And a set of these...

Star Lord

You need a spatula to go with those whisks Boneless?

boneless

Oh... you little MINX!!!! Can you open tins and are you married???:p

Star Lord

Yes I can open tins, no i'm not married.

And I'm male so look elsewhere... :eek:

boneless

I'm not fussy....:eek: I told you before, I'm bilingual...

Star Lord

True, but I speaketh the wrong language!

boneless

I shall impart my linguistic knowledge to you at a time of your choosing!!

DarthWraak

Quickly, Trace His Ip And Send It To Santy!