31 and finding it hard (not that way)

Blogard

Hey people,

Just turned 31 and split with my gf about 6-7 weeks ago. The relationship had to go but now I am finding it hard to adjust being alone. It gets lonely and I dont have any like minded friends to go out with and have some fun. Would love to meet a new girl but want it to happen naturally and dont want to rush or force the issue.

Has any blokes tried the going out on your own thing? I have never done it because I have a theory that girls don't do that with good reason and I am sure it must look a bit weird to be out on your own. Would be interested to know what peoples experiences are? If it went wrong then it could deffo be a lonely experience.

I am not bad looking and able to talk and have a good job but as I said I could do with some partners in crime who would be into going out for a bit of a laugh in town. I am not into playing games and messing people about as life is too short and I just genuinely want to meet a nice girl to love and spoil (if she is worth it) and receive the same in return.

Any advice??:)

dr.bollocko

If you wanted to meet new people without the stigma of going out alone, you should take up a random class or join a gym, something socialy fine to do alone that you would meet other women at.....

the-ging

A great way to meet girls is in a show/panto/musical you will defo be out numbered.

It is also a good way of breaking the ice, as you have to talk and dance with your cast.


And they are always looking for men, check out www.aims.ie

hullaballoo

Certainly it's acceptable to go to the pub on your own too, read a newspaper, have a pint. It may not be a great way to meet a girl, however. You couldn't rule it out as a no-hitter, because I've had girls come up to me when I'm on my own in the pub and strike up conversation but it doesn't happen that often, and it can be difficult to know where to take it!

I wouldn't go to a nightclub or really busy spot on my own, though. That's just too awkward.

Another thing, and I mean this in all seriousness, there's a boards beers on in Dublin on Saturday night. It's a great way to meet people.

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055020430

LegacyUser

'

Another thing, and I mean this in all seriousness, there's a boards beers on in Dublin on Saturday night. It's a great way to meet people.

That is MUCH better advice than joining a stage production.
Women won't be questioning his "preference" at a boards beers as much as they would in the theatre.
And you may just make a new friend who needs a mate to go to the pubs with!

OP, whatever interests you, get out and DO IT! That is the only way to meet like-minded women.

If you like art, join an art class.
If you like fitness, join a gym.
If you like cooking, take a cooking class.
If you like music, go see a live band! (Yes, you can do this alone!)
Go to events. You may run into someone you know who may know someone else....


Also, it has been said before - ask open ended questions.
You are not looking for a Yes or No answer. Ask questions that spark an opinion instead.'

LegacyUser

'I have just turned 30 and just broke up with my girlfriend of 6 years. So I know where op is coming from. All my friends are married etc so at the moment I am totally lost. What I need though is some fun and not start another relationship. But i too need help!!!!!'

Mighty_Mouse

lads,
Ye gotta fill yer lives with activities. Personally my work-place is crap for meeting people.
It means ya gotta join a gym and take classes there. Join a football club or some type of team sport. That way you get to know more and more people.

Also no harm that if you bump into old friends you make the effort to get their number and call them.

That way you'll have plenty of opportunities to meet people through people.

I think you'll find that the more avenues you have for socialising the better,

panda100

Mighty_Mouse wrote:

lads,
Ye gotta fill yer lives with activities. Personally my work-place is crap for meeting people.
It means ya gotta join a gym and take classes there. ,

Who hits on someone in a gym!This is Ireland not new york that just doesnt happen here.

Also Im thinking of organising a single's board beers in the new year for all ages so watch this space;)

Blogard

Thanks lads. Crimbo do tonight so going to make the most of it.

I am going to join a gym after crimbo. Are you listening jackie Skelly!!

Will give the boards night a go next time round also.

An anybody in the same boat get in touch and we will go out over the christmas. Now that I am single I dont want to be like santa if you get the meaning? (fat and comes once a year!)

If you are a weirdo or woman repelent stay away! LOL.

L8r people going for a wash. (ya hear that girl with the bad wif!)

Sleepy

panda100 wrote:

Who hits on someone in a gym!This is Ireland not new york that just doesnt happen here.

Also Im thinking of organising a single's board beers in the new year for all ages so watch this space;)

That'll be some sausage fest!

alimel

Why do people always say join a class, go to the gym? You're hardly going to go up to someone in a gym or a class and say hello will u be my friend, wanna go for a drink? You're lucky you're a guy you can go to a pub on your own and sit at the bar and no one would blink. So if i was you id do just that and build up a better social circle after a while and from there you might meet Mrs right!!
Think singles club is a bit naff something like a social club or even the beers club would be more suitable (with more nights out). When you say singles club women think of desperate (or ugly) lonely old men or stalkers!!

elqu

I don't know, I went through a bit of a slump manwise in my late twenties (was all broken up over an ex and went out with really awful men afterwards for some godd*m reason so confidence got lower and lower) anyway joined friendsmaybe.com and an american site was it matches.com? Went on loads of dates, vast majority went nowhere and didn't meet anyone serious but had a great time and it really put the spark into my life when i needed it. boosted the confidence and met someone lovely a while later the usual way in the pub! am still in touch with the odd guy i met that way as well. All sorts on it but most were sane and regular people just wanting to hurry nature along a bit

miamee

panda100 wrote:

Who hits on someone in a gym!This is Ireland not new york that just doesnt happen here.

Also Im thinking of organising a single's board beers in the new year for all ages so watch this space;)

Oooh I'llbe watching this space myself Panda, great idea

Kell

Blogard wrote:

Just turned 31 and split with my gf about 6-7 weeks ago. Would love to meet a new girl

Sorry- the question has to be posed. What the fúck would you want to get involved in another girl for six weeks after a split? I can see the conversation-

Her- "Yeah, last time I was going out with someone was about x time ago. How about you"?

Him- "About eight weeks ago"

Her thoughts- "What the fúck is this guy at? Time to make excuses and leave".

OP- seriously. You had a very good reason (I assume) to get out of the last relationship so I cant fathom why you would involve yourself at such an early stage. Serial monogamy is one thing but relationship jumping THAT fast is just plain stupid.

K-

dr.bollocko

Why would it be a problem that some guy you like used to go out with someone and it ended like two months ago?
That isnt relationship jumping at all.
Thats just moving on....
We arent supposed to wear black for a year and reject all social contact because one relationship didnt work out....

Kell

dr.bollocko wrote:

Why would it be a problem that some guy you like used to go out with someone and it ended like two months ago?
That isnt relationship jumping at all.
Thats just moving on....
We arent supposed to wear black for a year and reject all social contact because one relationship didnt work out....

Eh no. Every relationship leaves baggage. I dont think people should wander into a relationship without first having dumped the luggage first. 8 weeks is relationship jumping. Why would the OP feel the need to "meet a nice girl and spoil her" when he could have done that with his ex?

To consider a relationship at his point is to give in to the need to be needed and to get over his lonliness, neither of which are valid reasons to get into a relationship. Wanting a relationship shouldn't stem from the fact that they will "fill a gap" in your life and its blatantly obvious that this is the reason the OP wants one.

Think of your own reaction if someone says to you that they are only out of a relationship 8 weeks ago. Tell me honestly you wouldnt think that they were on the rebound and a bit needy.

K-

dr.bollocko

I wouldnt think that they were on the rebound at all. I mean it takes different people a different amount of time to get over things. But its two months. If someone told me that they ended a relationship two months ago, I would just think that it ended two months ago. I wouldnt think that the person was a bad person because they were talking to a member of the opposite sex two months after ending a relationship with another member of the opposite sex. I would consider that pretty normal.
If it was a loooooong relationship that might change things, but even still, after two months, many people would be over their past relationship.

Plus people have many many many many many motivations for starting a new relationship. We dont know enough about the OP to pontificate on why his reasons for starting a relationship arent "good" reasons.

whiskeyman

Kell wrote:

Eh no. Every relationship leaves baggage. I dont think people should wander into a relationship without first having dumped the luggage first. 8 weeks is relationship jumping. Why would the OP feel the need to "meet a nice girl and spoil her" when he could have done that with his ex?

Not always the case. I was in a relationship where I treated the girl very well. It was her actions that lead to the break up, and she admitted it to me. Within 2 weeks, I just happen to bump into a girl who I always fancied. She made the move and I never looked back. It was one of my best relationships I've ever had. Yeah, we're not together anymore, but that wasn't due to a 'jumping in' too early. We just weren't suited too each other in the long term, but we had a great time together all the same. If I thought I'd needed 8 weeks, I probably would have never hooked up with her, and I'd regret that even more to be honest.
Ultimately, you know yourself (given your own circumstance and state of mind) when you're ready to give another relationship a go.