Will you marry me

helpme

Just a quick question. how long do you think is an acceptable amount of time going out with someone before you pop the "will you marry me" question.

obviously if your madly inlove with the person

Rabies

Are you planning on asking somone? Is this about you or just a general marriage question?

There is a Wedding & Marriage forum. They might be able to help.

There is no real time frame. Guess, you just kinda know when it is right. And you are fairly sure you won't be shot down

CathyMoran

I think 6 months if you plan a long engagement or if you have dated before but otherwise at least a year. First got engaged within 6 months but we are only getting married now after 9 years. I also got proposed to by an ex after 2 months, it was romantic but looking back too soon

helpme

Rabies wrote:

Are you planning on asking somone? Is this about you or just a general marriage question?

QUOTE]


Its in the back of my mind alright. i love this girl so much and am in love with her. if that makes any sense. I am 90% surew she will say yes. i would just like to get everyone elses opinion on when they think is the best time.

Is this the right forum rabies?

Femelade

helpme wrote:

Its in the back of my mind alright. i love this girl so much and am in love with her. if that makes any sense. I am 90% surew she will say yes. i would just like to get everyone elses opinion on when they think is the best time.

Is this the right forum rabies?

how long are you with her? I think when you know..you just know. Ask her...christmas day..or new years eve....how romantic!!!
Hope it goes well...

carpenoctem

My answer would be, "When it feels right".

I know a couple who knew eachother only 2 months when he proposed and they have now been married 18 years. Another couple I know had dated 10 years when they got married and they divorced after just over a year.

So I don't think that there's a minimum frame. I have dated my current boyfriend just over 4 months and if he asked me tomorrow I would say yes and am convinced that we'd stay together for a very long time.

If you're unsure, you could perhaps try broaching the subject carefully, perhaps if there's someone you know that has got engaged or married recently. Kind of like, "but they had dated 8 months, do you think that's long enough?" or something.

But, as I said, when it feels right it most probably is right!

Rabies

Ok. Wasn't sure if you were just asking a general marriage question with no intentions yourself. Then the other forum would be best.

Since you are not sure, and it is a Personal Issue then here is proably best. But who am I to really say. The mods here decide that.

I asked because it wasn't mentioned in your original post, thats all.

Cathy, wow 6 months :eek: Personally I would think that is way too soon, even for a long engagement.

helpme, how long have you been going out, what age are the two of you?

At the end of the day, it really is down to the two of you. Have you ever brought up the topic with her before. Have either of you talked about your future together?

Beruthiel

moved to correct forum

greenkittie

My parents are the best couple ive ever met and i think they got married really quickly. They dated for a few months in Belfast then my mummy moved to Kenya to work, my daddy moped about in Belfast for a while before deciding to fly out and ask her to marry him. My mummy dosn't like diamonds so she decided best thing to do would be skip the engagement and get married the next day.

helpme

Rabies wrote:

helpme, how long have you been going out, what age are the two of you?

At the end of the day, it really is down to the two of you. Have you ever brought up the topic with her before. Have either of you talked about your future together?

I have been seeing her for 8 months now. she is 26 im 22. She has a child also. whom i love to bits

CathyMoran

helpme wrote:

I have been seeing her for 8 months now. she is 26 im 22. She has a child also. whom i love to bits

I say go for it. We broke up briefly during the summer but got back just over 3 months before our marriage, I could not be happier marrying Shane now but am glad that I do not have long to plan to get pre-wedding jitters (I always wanted to marry him, it was the ceremony that scared me).

helpme

CathyMoran wrote:

I say go for it. We broke up briefly during the summer but got back just over 3 months before our marriage, I could not be happier marrying Shane now but am glad that I do not have long to plan to get pre-wedding jitters (I always wanted to marry him, it was the ceremony that scared me).

Congratulations on the wedding. my best wishes to you and shane. you seem very happy with him

humanji

I'd agree with "When it feels right". I know a couple who got engaged after 2 weeks and they've been happily married ever since. I know another who have been going out for 10 years. If you both feel the same way about each other and both feel that you want to spend the rest of your lives together, then do it.

helpme

humanji wrote:

I'd agree with "When it feels right". I know a couple who got engaged after 2 weeks and they've been happily married ever since. I know another who have been going out for 10 years. If you both feel the same way about each other and both feel that you want to spend the rest of your lives together, then do it.

2 weeks wow!!!! fair play to them

iguana

When it feels right is the basic answer. Have the two of you ever talked about your future? You probably have as you say you have a good idea of her answer, so good luck if you decide to go for it. Though she may be a little more hesitant than you as she has the welfare of her child to consider.

My great-grandparents got married after 5 weeks and stayed together for decades, until my great-grandfather died. Of course I don't know if they were happy as they were both dead before I was born.

helpme

Thanks everyone.

but this thread has probably brought me the worst luck i could of imagined. She doesnt want to see me anymore. im in bits over this. cant even talk about it anymore.


Again thanks for all your advise. sorry it has gone to waste

CathyMoran

helpme wrote:

Thanks everyone.

but this thread has probably brought me the worst luck i could of imagined. She doesnt want to see me anymore. im in bits over this. cant even talk about it anymore.


Again thanks for all your advise. sorry it has gone to waste

I am really sorry about what has happened to you. Did she give any reason for the split? You will find the one, don't worry, it may even still be her.

humanji

So sorry to hear that. It's never easy. AS CathyMoran said, you will find that someone.

Rabies

Ouch... Did she say why?

helpme

CathyMoran wrote:

I am really sorry about what has happened to you. Did she give any reason for the split? You will find the one, don't worry, it may even still be her.

i wont be going back. it happened for no reason at all. i called her on the phone when i got home to see if we were doing anything. she sayed she was busy. i said ah well maybe tomorrow. and before i new it i was being called everything under the sun. i did nothing wrong at all.

I love my life!!!! (sarcasim)

helpme

humanji wrote:

So sorry to hear that. It's never easy. AS CathyMoran said, you will find that someone.

thanks but she was that someone.my heart feels like it has dropped into my stomach.

Mrs_Doyle

Femmy wrote:

how long are you with her? I think when you know..you just know. Ask her...christmas day..or new years eve....how romantic!!!
Hope it goes well...

Oooh, I likes the way you think!

I think a year is cool, and even then I would say have a 2 year engagement, just to give yourself enough time to comfortably plan and pay for everything.

BrianCalgary

Hey helpme, hang in there. I got whacked a few times until I met my wife. Proposed after 5 months. Married 15 months later and on Dec 20 we celebrate our 21st anniverasry.

Three great kids later, three moves across country (4 day drive each way) and still madly in love.

Maccattack

I always thought that marraige should be ILLEGAL until youre 30.

And make getting a divorce as easy as buying a can of coke.


Marraige/Divorce laws as they stand are just plain wrong.


If people are made to wait til theyre 30 their decisions on 'life' partners would be more sound and there would be a lot less divorce.

iguana

Maccattack wrote:

If people are made to wait til theyre 30 their decisions on 'life' partners would be more sound and there would be a lot less divorce.

Actually people who marry younger are statistically more likely to stay together. People who marry later in life generally find it much harder to make the adjustments and compromises needed in marriage.

I believe that you should get married when you meet the right person who feels the same way about you.

Helpme, I'm very sorry to hear about you and your girlfriend. But it will get better.

helpme

BrianCalgary wrote:

Hey helpme, hang in there. I got whacked a few times until I met my wife. Proposed after 5 months. Married 15 months later and on Dec 20 we celebrate our 21st anniverasry.

Three great kids later, three moves across country (4 day drive each way) and still madly in love.

cheers Brian

And congrats on the anniverasry

helpme

iguana wrote:

Actually people who marry younger are statistically more likely to stay together. People who marry later in life generally find it much harder to make the adjustments and compromises needed in marriage.

I believe that you should get married when you meet the right person who feels the same way about you.

Helpme, I'm very sorry to hear about you and your girlfriend. But it will get better.

Thanks Iguana, I hope so

glitter-bug

i just got engaged tonight!!! im too excited to sleep hehe

CathyMoran

glitter-bug wrote:

i just got engaged tonight!!! im too excited to sleep hehe

Congradulations.

We have been together for over 9 years, living together for over 8 of those, my deepest regret is that I did not marry him sooner, though he proposed within months, getting married on Friday tough and am counting down the days, I really love him

Zambia

helpme wrote:

Thanks Iguana, I hope so

Chin up Fella , there is always people breaking up , getting together, out single so work on getting over this and you will be fine.

An by the way you will easily know when its time to ask basically cause your missus will tell you. Mine did so by repeatedly poking me in the arm saying when you going to ask me then...

If you feel the need to ask anyone if you should ffs dont.

Femelade

glitter-bug wrote:

i just got engaged tonight!!! im too excited to sleep hehe

christmas day!!! oh god, that is soooo romantic!! Congrats!

I'm so jealous!

stinkybum

He proposed drunkenly after 6 weeks and bought me a peridot ring to keep me going Then after nearly 10 months together he asked me properly, big diamond ring, in barcelona, had had the chat with Dad etc... We're getting married 19 months after we met. If its right, its right, no point in waiting. I knew on our first date i was probably going to marry him !!

Mrs_Doyle

Femmy wrote:

christmas day!!! oh god, that is soooo romantic!! Congrats!

I'm so jealous!

Me too!!!! Thats class!

Mrs_Doyle

stinkybum wrote:

He proposed drunkenly after 6 weeks and bought me a peridot ring to keep me going Then after nearly 10 months together he asked me properly, big diamond ring, in barcelona, had had the chat with Dad etc... We're getting married 19 months after we met. If its right, its right, no point in waiting. I knew on our first date i was probably going to marry him !!

Oh, that's class too!!!!

But I think everyone's proposal story is pretty magical.

I have heard stories of people who got engaged over a cuppa tea, whilst watching corrie, but still, even though that doesn't sound particularly fairy tale, there is always something in the story that makes it magical.