Am i crazy? Or Shallow?

LegacyUser

'Id second the notion you see her slightly big booty as a reason for her unattractivness when really its a matter of chemistry- or lack thereof.

Your predicament doesn't make you shallow, it shows that you are into different body types.

Me, my preference varies with the person. I reckon it is all to do with how the girl carries herself. My current lust object is a short bouncey blond, before her it was a atraight shouldered chinese, before her a tall stick insect.

Different strokes, different folks; this mantra doesn't just apply to yourself, but to the people you interact with...'

Kell

Faith wrote:

You can want perfection all you like, but you'll never find it.

Why? On what basis do you offer your thoughts??Why is it flawed rationale to wait until you find someone with the complete package (not just physically) before you have a relationship with them??

You wouldnt accept lots of things unless they fit your idea of perfect, so why the fúck would you accept a person who is sharing your life unless they were perfect. Your logic is more flawed than mine if you think that settling (as the majority of people do) is a good idea. What happens if three, four, five years down the road it eventually dawns on you that well, hey, you know, the irritation you thought you could get your head around (personality or physical) you cant get your head around anymore. What then? A few years is a large waste of time when you can just listen to your gut and say "hey, this really aint for me".

You dismissed my comment about the OP's GF if she was moaning about his cóck. Well you know, her áss might be a problem in his sex life, but you slate him yet would support her. If he was on moaning about a small cóck we'd all be saying "hey, dont fret. There are women out there that go for that sort of thing". You, Faith, wouldnt point a finger at him and say "your small cóck is causing a problem with your sex life" now would you?

Shallow? I wag a finger at thee!

K-

Maccattack

Kell wrote:

What happens if he finds the most physically gorgeous person he has ever seen that has a great personality to boot? Are you saying thats not possible? K-

K. Of course thats possible. But physical perfection is only temporary is it not?

People age. Peoples lifestyles change along with eating habits and excercise regimes. People have accidents that sometimes change the way they look.

How many old people do you know? Ever looked at photos of them in their youth? Some of them where absolutely gorgeous but you wouldnt know it now.

As a mate of mine often says 'They all look the same when their 60'


The truth of the matter is that if looks are paramount to you you will ultimately be dissapointed and the relationship will fail.

CerebralCortex

Faith wrote:

Gotta disagree with you here, Kell. First of all, your analogy is flawed because the people you describe don't like the whole package of other cars, they don't just have a problem with the steering wheel or whatnot.

You can want perfection all you like, but you'll never find it. If the OPs only problem with this girl is that she has a large ass, then he's one lucky man.

If the GF was in here complaining about her BFs penis size, people would think she was shallow. If it was affecting their sex life, then that's a genuine problem.

The OP needs to look at women like Jennifer Lopez and Beyoncé. They have large behinds and that's considered their best and most attractive feature!

Large shapely asses. This girl could have (more than likely) a fat ass and if so the OP could see it as a reflection of her sedentry leanings and maybe its that he finds unattractive about her. It's kindof like how ppl a long time ago found fat ppl attractive because it meant they were well off.

Faith

Kell wrote:

Why? On what basis do you offer your thoughts??Why is it flawed rationale to wait until you find someone with the complete package (not just physically) before you have a relationship with them??

There's nothing wrong with waiting for perfection. You can wait as long as you like, but you will never find it. People are not perfect. There will always be just one little thing that you don't like about someone. You might not notice it at the start, maybe not even 20 years down the line, but there'll be something.

You wouldnt accept lots of things unless they fit your idea of perfect, so why the fúck would you accept a person who is sharing your life unless they were perfect.

I wouldn't accept flawed products if they were capable of being perfect, no. But like I said, people aren't. Can you honestly think of a couple who find each other absolutely perfect, in every single way?

Your logic is more flawed than mine if you think that settling (as the majority of people do) is a good idea. What happens if three, four, five years down the road it eventually dawns on you that well, hey, you know, the irritation you thought you could get your head around (personality or physical) you cant get your head around anymore. What then? A few years is a large waste of time when you can just listen to your gut and say "hey, this really aint for me".

I'm not suggesting that anybody "settles", nor would I. But I think the OP needs to put things into perspective. If 99.99% of this girl is perfect for him, then I think he needs to get his priorities straight. If he can't stay with her because her ass is too large, then I think that, yes, that makes him shallow. Like others have said, there's ways to encourage her gently to sort it out, if he really cares. Although he's probably just wanting to wash his hands of it, rather than put some work in.

You dismissed my comment about the OP's GF if she was moaning about his cóck. Well you know, her áss might be a problem in his sex life, but you slate him yet would support her. If he was on moaning about a small cóck we'd all be saying "hey, dont fret. There are women out there that go for that sort of thing". You, Faith, wouldnt point a finger at him and say "your small cóck is causing a problem with your sex life" now would you?

I fail to see how a big ass could interfere with their sex life, apart from being maybe unasthetically pleasing to him. It shouldn't interfere with their enjoyment. However, a very small cóck can interfere with enjoyment. I accept your point about us comforting him if he was complaining about a small cóck, but they're different types of problem that I don't think can be compared.

Shallow? I wag a finger at thee!

K-

Don't you dare wag your finger at me, mister!

/wags back

Tar.Aldarion

I agree with Kell here, and sometimes imperfections are perfections.
*Wags finger*


Well, everybody is doing it.

Gholimoli

dellas1979 wrote:

Who in the name of god are you to say that for physical perfection this girl has to have a small butt?

I cant believe how stupid people come accross sometimes. I dont think you are shallow OP. If she is not your cup of tea, then she will be someone elses. If you dont fancy her, there is nothing wrong with that. But for the love of god and for women, dont you sit in your chair and preach that having a small butt for you is nicer than having a big butt.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Think you should get over yourself and act like any normal man would i.e with a bit of cop on.

This is really funny.
By reading this I would have to assume that you must have a huge ass or something.
The OP never said anything about how some1 should look, he never tried defining beauty or what some one should look like to be called beautiful.
All he said was that HE DOESN’T LIKE HER ASS and he is perfectly entitled to that.
And here you are giving it lots of crap that has nothing to do at all with what OP said.
I think you should listen to your own advice and act like any one would with a bit of cop on that is.

LegacyUser

'OK thanks for all the responses!

To clear some stuff up tho.

Firstly
A) She's not my girlfriend. Thats what she wants, but i said not at the moment, i have a lot on my mind. She's fine with this and wants me to take my time.

She thinks she is genuinly in love with me, as im this and that. I feel so sorry for her. She deserves better.

C) She is stunning. Absolutely. She is basically a carbon copy from the neck to the waste of the girl from that movie A beautiful mind. I'm not messing. Long straight black hair, perfect pale skin, gorgeous piercing blue eyes.

Her backside is not fat or huge, she's just a bit shapely around the hips, and she's quite concious of it. She has no other signs of weoght problems, nothing under the chin or arms etc. Stomach is flat and muscular etc.

I'm just worried about the old "Once it goes... theres no going back"..

i feel shallow beyond belief. I'm gonna be kicking if i don't sort this.

And i'm not young really, im 24.. is that young?'

stack

Why are you all writing this ****e?

Look, its nothing about her or her ass or her face or her anything... its about you, you are building a barrier in your own mind about 'what is wrong with her' cause you are afraid, that is all. But you know this already. What are you afraid of? tons of things...from 'what if she says 'no'', to 'but I don't want a girlfriend anyway', to 'what if I do go out with her and someone says she has a big ass' ( I bet one of your friends has already commented on this and thats why you are afraid also)... and more.

What should you do? you should do what everyone who posts here should do, stop trying to get the idiots on the internet to fix your life and fix it yourself.

Kell

Faith wrote:

You can wait as long as you like, but you will never find it. People are not perfect.

Agree to disagree. There is someone out there that is PERFECT for someone else. People are not perfect, but peoples perceptions can find perfection in someone.

Faith wrote:

Can you honestly think of a couple who find each other absolutely perfect, in every single way?

No-because people settle. I found that in 100% of cases (I have come across) where someone has a problem with someone else its because they didnt look hard enough nor long enough for a "perfect" partner. Doesnt mean they dont exist.

Faith wrote:

I'm not suggesting that anybody "settles", nor would I.

Have to argue with you on this. The MAJORITY of people I know settle because they havent the patience to wait it out for that someone that ticks ALL their boxes.

Faith wrote:

Although he's probably just wanting to wash his hands of it, rather than put some work in.

Then perhaps he should. I still dont see how he is shallow though.

Faith wrote:

However, a very small cóck can interfere with enjoyment.

And her áss is interfering with his enjoyment and the comparison (on that basis) is valid. Enjoyment is subjective. As I said, some women could be into small dícks, but not all. This guy isnt into her áss (yet) so I again dont see the slating of him on the basis that he is being shallow.

Faith wrote:

Don't you dare wag your finger at me, mister!

I shall wag as I wish. Tis not the only thing I'll wag at you d'ya caen eh? :eek:

K-

Ghost Rider

Ask yourself this: if she started going out with someone else, someone who loved her ass, would you feel jealous of him? Would you start to be able to overlook her ass (so to speak)? Grow to like it, even? If so, the problem is on your side and you probably have some maturing to do.

If not, and someone else's going out with her wouldn't make any difference, then you just don't like her ass and that's that. Relax the cax. Don't let anyone try to tell you you're being irrational because what we find attractive in others is usually irrational (or non-rational) in the first place. And for God's sake don't waste your time feeling guilty.

Victor

Kell wrote:

I shall wag as I wish. Tis not the only thing I'll wag at you d'ya caen eh? :eek:

Get a room. By yourself.

greenkittie

I am a big assed girl. Thin but ass is always going to be large, its a body type not something you can excercise off. TBH most guys love it but thats beside the point, i am not outraged by this thread nor do i think the OP is purely shallow

I think the OP either dosn't really like the girl and THE ASS is just a way of putting up a barrier to this happening or its just a pet hate of his which is fair enough. If i was a pet hate he probably would be able to get over it if he loved her. So either way this is a doomed relationship, let her down now so she can move on quicker.