Bestiality is legal if you have a good lawyer

Sponge Bob

Out in the American wilderness in Wisconsin a local was caught in flagrante with a deer , a dead deer. The defence was really simple, pull out Websters Dictionary and refer to the definition of an animal

any of a kingdom (Animalia) of living things i

But the Deer was DEAD , right!

The prosecution countered with an interesting linguistic norm, nice one MR Prosecutor

He told Judge Michael Lucci that "when a person's pet dog dies, the person still refers to the dog as his or her dog, not a carcass"

So it was a deer then, but that was not in dispute was it??

Then there was the little problem that the last time yer man was done , that time for shagging a dead horse not a deer, he pleaded guilty to it

previous form, which saw him in April 2005 plead "no contest to one felony charge of mistreatment of an animal for the shooting death of Bambrick, a 26-year-old horse, to have sex with the animal".

Not surprisingly the judge had a headache and had to go off to think about this one

"I'm a little surprised this issue hasn't been tackled before in another case." He then promised to render a decision before Hathaway's next court appearance on 1 December.

I can't wait for the 1st of december , do any cat lovers read this forum by the way , if so PM me later for the vid ??

More here and here

Ciaran500

"I'm a little surprised this issue hasn't been tackled before in another case."

LOL

Capt'n Midnight

Wasn't there a thread about a dead dog a while back ?

Reminds me of this

An elderly French man was slowly walking down the countryside,
admiring the beautiful spring day, when over a hedge he spotted a
young couple, naked, making love in a field. Getting over his initial
shock he said to himself, "Ah ze young love... Ze spring time, ze air,
ze flowers. C'est magnifique!!", and continued to watch remembering
the good old times.

Suddenly he drew in a gasp and said, "Mais ... Sacre bleu!! Ze woman -
she is dead!!", and he ran as fast as he could to the town to tell
Albert, the police chief. He arrived, out of breath, to the police
station and shouted, "Albert ... Albert zere is zis man zis woman
... naked in farmer Gaston's field making love". The police chief
smiled and said; "Come come Henri you are not so old remember ze young
love. Ze spring time ze air ze flowers Ah, L'amour! Thiz is okay."
Henri said, "Mais non! You do not understand ze woman she is dead!!"

Hearing this Albert leapt out from his seat and rushed out of the
station, and ran down to the field, confirmed Henri's story, and ran
all the way back non-stop to call the doctor: "Pierre, Pierre... This
is Albert I was in Gaston's field - zere is a young couple naked
'aving sex!" To which Pierre replied,"Albert, I am a man of
science. you must remember, it is spring ze air ze flowers Ah,
L'amour! Thiz is very natural." Albert, still out of breath grasped in
reply, "NON, you do not understand ze woman, she is dead!"

Hearing this Pierre shouted, "Mon dieu!", grabbed his black medicine
bag, stuffed in his thermometer, stethoscope, and other tools and
jumped in the car and drove like a madman down to Gaston's field.

Upon getting there he gave the couple a full medical exam and drove
back to Henri and Albert, who were waiting at the station. He got
there, went inside, and smiled patiently at the two Frenchmen and
said, "Ah, mes amis, do not worry. Ze woman, she is not dead she is
English."

Dooom

Would it not be classed as some form of necrophilia? Or maybe that only applies to humans. Eitherway, the chap should be locked up. Just for being really, really, really weird.

Thrill

What about this sick puppy.

http://www.mlive.com/news/bctimes/index.ssf?/base/news-8/116170304311310.xml&coll=4

The dog was dead for 4 or 5 days and was his gf's dog as well. Good grief.:eek:

seamus

Spike wrote:

Would it not be classed as some form of necrophilia? Or maybe that only applies to humans. Eitherway, the chap should be locked up. Just for being really, really, really weird.

Is necrobeastiality illegal though?

Sponge Bob

Looks like Wisconsin has no law against necrophilia and cannot lock him up for being a bleedin nutter either or else half the state would be in the slammer.

And he probably killed that poor deer too , they never said how it died ! Thats not illegal either around there.

nlgbbbblth

thrill wrote:

What about this sick puppy.

http://www.mlive.com/news/bctimes/index.ssf?/base/news-8/116170304311310.xml&coll=4

The dog was dead for 4 or 5 days and was his gf's dog as well. Good grief.:eek:

that report doesn't clarify if the guy came or not.

There was the same lack of conclusive journalism with the dude and horse in Seattle last year. Did the horse come or not?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kenneth_Pinyan

Thrill

nlgbbbblth wrote:

Did the horse come or not?

Well theres no way the deer or the dog could come seein as how they were dead.

nlgbbbblth

thrill wrote:

Well theres no way the deer or the dog could come seein as how they were dead.

I know that.
But did the guy come or not?

MADPhil

Man goes into confessional. "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I'm guilty of sadism, bestiality and necrophilia." "Ah," says the priest. "You're flogging a dead horse there."

Thrill

nlgbbbblth wrote:

I know that.
But did the guy come or not?

I just reread the stories and i doubt that they did. They were caught in the act.
Why, does it matter?
I mean, what else could they have been up to?

biko

thrill wrote:

What about this sick puppy.

http://www.mlive.com/news/bctimes/index.ssf?/base/news-8/116170304311310.xml&coll=4

The dog was dead for 4 or 5 days and was his gf's dog as well. Good grief.:eek:

"crimes against nature"
We should have more laws against that carry-on.

Heisenberg.

This post has been deleted.

rugbug86

MADPhil wrote:

Man goes into confessional. "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I'm guilty of sadism, bestiality and necrophilia." "Ah," says the priest. "You're flogging a dead horse there."

LOL

what a sick man

he should be locked up, purely to get him off the streets. even worse if he killed it himself.

imagine that tho, having the mental capacity to look at an animal, kill it then ride it. hubba hubba. :rolleyes:

Plug

Did I read this wrong or did some bloke ride a dead dear?

Diogenes

seamus wrote:

Is necrobeastiality illegal though?

Is it really such a common place problem that we need to legislate aganist it though?

If I discover rampant abuse of dead animal corpses is occuring regularly, I'm pretty much walking away from civilisation, and not looking back in case I become a pillar of salt.

Dooom

seamus wrote:

Is necrobeastiality illegal though?

Dear god it'd better be.

nlgbbbblth

thrill wrote:

I just reread the stories and i doubt that they did. They were caught in the act.
Why, does it matter?

I'd say it matters to the men's families.

ArphaRima

The sentence should be that everybody in the world finds out.

Ciaran500

Spike wrote:

Dear god it'd better be.

I don't see why it should be, although shooting it for that purpose certainly should come under the cruelty to animal laws.

MrJoeSoap

Ciaran500 wrote:

I don't see why it should be, although shooting it for that purpose certainly should come under the cruelty to animal laws.

Of course it should be, for the same reason necrophilia is illegal. Respect.

Ciaran500

MrJoeSoap wrote:

Of course it should be, for the same reason necrophilia is illegal. Respect.

Respect for a dead wild animal? So it should be illegal to cut them up and eat them or mount their head on a wall aswell?

MrJoeSoap

Ciaran500 wrote:

Respect for a dead wild animal? So it should be illegal to cut them up and eat them or mount their head on a wall aswell?

Killing and eating them is natural, mounting the head on a wall probably isn't.

You don't see a lion humping a carcass.

Ciaran500

MrJoeSoap wrote:

mounting the head on a wall probably isn't.

Probably isn't? o_O

Anyway alot of what we do with animals isn't "natural", doesn't mean it should be illegal

BTW - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Necrophilia#Among_animals

MrJoeSoap

Ciaran500 wrote:

Probably isn't? o_O

Well I would imagine primitive human beings probably kept some trophies of animals they hunted.

Ciaran500 wrote:

Anyway alot of what we do with animals isn't "natural", doesn't mean it should be illegal

Well I personally would classify "necrobestiality" (if such a word exists!) in my 'should be illegal' category.

Ciaran500

MrJoeSoap wrote:

Well I would imagine primitive human beings probably kept some trophies of animals they hunted.

When does something stop being man made and being natural?

MrJoeSoap wrote:

Well I personally would classify "necrobestiality" (if such a word exists!) in my 'should be illegal' category.

I don't think its right but I just don't see why the government should be involved in the issue and deciding what's right.

Talideon

Ciaran500 wrote:

I don't think its right but I just don't see why the government should be involved in the issue and deciding what's right.

Would you apply the same logic to things like robbery and murder?

Savman

Do a deer? A female deer?
If it was male maybe he was gay.

dermot_sheehan

Been covered here:
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2054891765

Dooom

Ciaran500 wrote:

I don't see why it should be, although shooting it for that purpose certainly should come under the cruelty to animal laws.

Because it's riding a dead animal! If you don't find that wrong, then you're very weird.

Savman

Spike wrote:

Because it's riding a dead animal! If you don't find that wrong, then you're very weird.

I don't have to answer to you...:p

NotMe

MrJoeSoap wrote:

Of course it should be, for the same reason necrophilia is illegal. Respect.

You can't compare animals to humans like that - sure we kill, cook, eat and wear animals. I don't think it would be right to lock someone up for their animal corpse fetish. They should probably get their head examined though.

Lust4Life

Had to be a Bow Hunter since Gun season only opened this morning in Wisconsin.
Them Bow Hunters are always a bit off kilter.

MrJoeSoap

NotMe wrote:

You can't compare animals to humans like that - sure we kill, cook, eat and wear animals. I don't think it would be right to lock someone up for their animal corpse fetish. They should probably get their head examined though.

Well he should be sent down for having sex with a dead deer in public so!

Just send the sicko down! It's not a fetish, it's an illness.

Dooom

Savman wrote:

I don't have to answer to you...:p

Methinks you're hiding something...Dead animal rider!

Ciaran500

Talideon wrote:

Would you apply the same logic to things like robbery and murder?

I more meant deciding whether doing something that doesn't affect anyone else is right or wrong.

Spike wrote:

Because it's riding a dead animal! If you don't find that wrong, then you're very weird.

Wait a min, I never said it wasn't wrong. Just no reason to be illegal.

Tar.Aldarion

Don't knock it until...

county

... you`ve try it




*draws the line with dead animals*

Just My View

Savman wrote:

Do a deer? A female deer?

Ray, a drop of golden Sun
Me, a name I call myself
Fah, a long long way to run
Sew, a needle pulling thread
Lah, the note to follow sew
Tea, a drink with jam and bread
that brings us back to
Doe, a deer, a female deer...

Tar.Aldarion

You've tried the rest, now try the best...

county

Tar.Aldarion wrote:

You've tried the rest, now try the beast...

Tar.Aldarion

...iality.

oRlyYaRly

I hope he used a condom.

county

oRlyYaRly wrote:

I hope he used a condom.

good advice when shagging dead animals;)

Black Swan

They are deer to him?



Deerly departed?






*Well, you have to admit, it beats being a "Tree hugger!" Ouch! I know, very cheezy... but I am working on my first cup of java and will wake soon.