Advice Required Please ?

lil-buttons

Hi everybody,

But I have a wee problem.

Firstly I have found out recently that I am pregnant! (Im 25) Which me and my partner are very happy about. But the thing is I started a new job jus two months ago. I got the job through an old college friend - who put his neck on the line to take me on and is my boss!

The problem is the job is within the construction industry - in which I have my degree in etc...

But they do not really approve of girls gettin pregnant untill they are older - at nearly every interview ive been at for construction companies I have been asked.. Do I have a boyfriend? And when do I plan on havin kids? etc... Except for this job - they didnt ask me untill after I started working here- I assumed general chit chat!

But the thing is - I really dont know how to tell my boss/friend. I feel really guilty like Ive let him down, plus Im still on 6 months Probation as a graduate and I really dont want them to let me go especially since the work is piling up now and will probably need someone to cover the work..!

How do I tell my boss ?
Should I go to the Hr dept 1st ?
And can they sack me ?

Thanks for any replies..

Huggles

lil congrats on the news!

I think you will get a better response in work and jobs if you ask one of the mods to move it.

Drift

Firstly congratulations, don't forget that the baby is much more important than any job and worrying about stuff won't be good for it.

I have no idea what your legal entitlements are. I work in the construction industry myself and I know that it can be sexist at times. There is one really important factor about the construction industry though - if you're good at your job they will do almost anything to keep you. Its booming so much at the moment that good staff are very hard to replace. How long have you left before you go on maternity leave? If you do your job well between now and then you will make yourself indispensible to them and they will give you a job when you come back again even if they have taken someone else in the meantime.

I'd go straight to the boss ..... thats what HR are going to do anyway.

lil-buttons

Yeah I know ur right. But I do love what I do so that helps- plus I am a graduate so I am still learning - but everything im doing seems to be good so far and they have told me that they are pleased with me- they have started me off to do my chartership too.. which kinda implicates that they want me here for the next two years (chartership = 2 yr duration at least)!
But I honestly dont know how they will react!

byrner88

congratulations .
no its against the law to sack u becuase ur pregnant . its discrimination . (but im not too sure if they can becuase ur on a trial) hope it helps anyway . just go to your boss nd tell . u will obviously have to tell at some time , so theres no time like the present . good luck anyway

dublin12

I know this is beside the point now, but you are not allowed to ask those questions at an interview! My husband was interviewing in Ericsson recently and beforehand HR briefed all interviewers about questions you cannot ask due to the possibility that you would discriminate on the answers, hence you cant ask if someone is married, planning to have kids etc.

Pamwam

well they definitely can't let you go becasue you are pregnant even if you are in a probationary period so you don't need to worry about that aspect.

Pablo

It's your responsibility to tell your employer as soon as you know.

More about Maternity Leave can be found here

Millionaire

Those interveiw questions.."have you a boyfriend' "are you going to have kids"... I am not sure if an employer is allowed to ask those sort of questions in a job interview.

lil-buttons

Thanks guys - I do know they cant ask these questions but seriously they do! Which is not really fair but what can u do ?

It does however point out the lack of Proffesionalism throughout many companies in Ireland - and how some of the older men truely believe that women should not be working but Knee high in nappies - hopefully Il be doing both - working and knee-high in nappies!!!

The gas thing was I was working for a housing developer for a while and we got in a new foreman - after a week he turned to me and said - Im very suprised how much a 23yr old girl knows about construction ....
Well he's lucky that I didn smack him! I had to bite my tongue!

They can be a joke.

Im going to tell my Hr department today and neither of my bosses are in today so they'l have to wait till 2moro.

Thanks for the advice though!

Millionaire

Well if they got a HR Dept, then I am sure they have policies in place for this sort of situation.

Thats good news. better than having to tell a Site Foreman! ;-)

lil-buttons

OH OH !

I was jus in with the Hr mgr and was havin a wee chat, She was askin how I was gettin on so I was tellon her about the fewthings that were annoyin me about my boss... !!

She then continued to say well we see u as permanent staff blady blah! And then said sure you wouldnt want to have kids for years ! OH GOD!

What do I do now?
I didnt say anything and party of me wanted to say.. No I want to have one now ? I normally would be ballsey enough but Im crappin it now! I suppose I just dont want any crap and the whole company talkin bout me!
I dont know!

Im dreadin sayin anything cos they are gona look down on me. And be like she's too young, shes throwin her life away.. etc the usual stuff the oldies say... I know this cos lots of people have said it to me already but I suppose its different when u have to work with them day in day out !

dublin12

ok, firstly, the HR manager shouldn't have said something so unprofessional, and once she finds out, she should feel bad when she realises she said that to you when you were pregnant and should keep such assumptions about other peoples attitudes to herself in future.
You have done nothing wrong, this shouldnt be a factor in their determining your value to the company, there are lots of laws in place to stop that sort of discrimination for a reason. Yeh, they wont stop it happening completely but at the very least, you shouldnt be feeling guilty about anything.

If you give the impression you are feeling bad about it when you tell them, it just reinforces their belief that its a negative. If I were you, I'd make sure I was upbeat and tell them I was chuffed about it and just say that while you realise the timing might be a little inconvenient for them, it really only means you are maternity leave for a few months and then you're back in work.

Stop acting like you're at fault when you know THEY are for making you feel this way and reclaim your rights at least in your own mind!

dublin12

...oh, I just noticed, you're only 2 months pregnant...past the first tri mester is understood to be the time when people announce their pregnancy cos they are then past the 'danger' period. So I wouldnt rush in to tell them immediately. You can just tell them then that you waited to tell people until you knew everything was ok. Then you have that extra month in there to make yourself indispensable!

kippy

Congrats on the baby,
I've read this post and honestly I find a few things strange,
You say an old college friend put his neck on the line to get you the job and is now your boss-you dont want to let him down etc - now much of a friend is he if you start talking to HR about him in a negative way?

Anyway, I suppose that is neither here nor there. The HR person, if that is what she said about getting pregnant was fairly stupid to say that. As were the interviewers for asking about your personal life. Employers have been taken to court for less.

I honestly you should tell your boss first, to see what the story is and what he thinks.
Kippy

lil-buttons

Hi guys-

Im actually 16 weeks pegers and ive only been workin here for 11 weeks which isnt very long. I do get on well with my mate but a few problems have been arising - nothing major jus some stuff that needs to sorted or I will never learn anything in here.

But he gets very snappy over things and I wouldnt mind but 9 times out of ten its his fault - he never passes on the information - so how can I know about it ? And when Im sent out on my own and theres a mistake he goes nuts- but the thing is im only here 11 wjs so I shouldnt even be sent out on my own !
Theres lots of crap like that - and to be honest Ive started not to like my job and half wish I was back on site! But its a great company and you have oppurtunities here thats why I want to stay! I dont know what to do !

lil-buttons

(",)

Tobias Greeshman

You're going to have to tell them pretty soon. If you're 16 weeks pregnant then it must be becoming pretty obvious, and you're not going to be able to hide it much longer.

I would say go and talk to HR firstly, but the woman you talked to in HR sounds very unprofessional. So maybe have a chat with your Boss and explain the situation, and how much you enjoy working there and want to stay working there as long as your health permits. You two were friends in college so I'm sure he'll be understanding.

Best of luck with everything.

gerrycollins

Millionaire wrote:

Those interveiw questions.."have you a boyfriend' "are you going to have kids"... I am not sure if an employer is allowed to ask those sort of questions in a job interview.

firstly they cannot do anything to you for been pregnant. if they let you go well you can have a field day in the courts.

the only problem I can see is that a mate got the job and he is your boss also

Its a personal vs business situation that you cannot change so just tell them the faster the better

Darragh29

lil-buttons wrote:

OH OH !

I was jus in with the Hr mgr and was havin a wee chat, She was askin how I was gettin on so I was tellon her about the fewthings that were annoyin me about my boss... !!

She then continued to say well we see u as permanent staff blady blah! And then said sure you wouldnt want to have kids for years ! OH GOD!

What do I do now?
I didnt say anything and party of me wanted to say.. No I want to have one now ? I normally would be ballsey enough but Im crappin it now! I suppose I just dont want any crap and the whole company talkin bout me!
I dont know!

Im dreadin sayin anything cos they are gona look down on me. And be like she's too young, shes throwin her life away.. etc the usual stuff the oldies say... I know this cos lots of people have said it to me already but I suppose its different when u have to work with them day in day out !

What kind of a sh1thole are you working in when they treat you like that??? It's illlegal under equality legislation to ask you about children or family matters at an interview or involve such matters in your employment. I think you're fu*king mad to be putting up with that sh1te...