TCN Science Quiz

boneless

Okay... I'll start...

Q) The average fart is 35cm long. True or false?

Star Lord

False.

Q) Is glass solid liquid or gas?

boneless

Correct on the farts. They are the breath of the gods and thus are impossible to measure with human scales.

Glass is a solid plasma when you take peyote.

Star Lord

I thought they were the breath of the evil one...

Glas is actually a liquid, but I cant comment on the peyote thing, the case is still pending.

boneless

Is it possible to hang a mango on a wall using mouse DNA?

Star Lord

Yes, mouse DNA is surprisingly sticky.

boneless

Correct, but you need to take care you use dormouse. House mice are weak from over indulgence.


What come after bonelessatron in the PTE?

Star Lord

I could be wrong, but I think its ilovepornium?

boneless

Ilovepornium was put in before Bonelessatron... the correct answer is mud.

Star Lord

What is the chemical equation of that tingly feeling you sometimes get up your back that makes you shake and my mum refers to as "someone walking over your grave"

boneless

Goose steps pi r squared x times willyshake.

Star Lord

Spot on Dr Boneless

boneless

The judge will get me if you call me Doctor...

Women have stronger tongues than a camel... true or false?

Star Lord

I've never experienced a camels tongue...
¬_¬

boneless

You haven't lived then!! Your mission is to find out the truth and present the facts to the TCN scientific society....

Star Lord

I cant i'm... erm... allergic...

Jack B. Badd

I am crying! Crying!!!

Matt Holck

crying clear stress hormones from your head


why don't we have holographic displays?

boneless

Such displays would only confuse people and lead to accidents on boards.

What is the real scientific function of vodka?

Star Lord

The real function of Vodka is as a Russian chemical weapon, killing off precious brain cells of us westeners!

Black Swan

Da!

Why did the (former) USSR** missiles suck rather than thrust?*






*Taken from the film, "The Russia House."

**CCCP if you want to get technical on me...

Hail 2 Da Chimp

What is the scientific reason for me wanting to sex up lesbians when I am drunk, (also for bonus points for when i am sober)?

Lust4Life

Hail, it's that Hunter Gatherer instinct in you trying to force nature back to the way things ought to be.

So what is the scientific explaination for 90% of lesbians preferring the Mullet Hairdo?

Demetrius

Blue_Lagoon wrote:

Da!

Why did the (former) USSR** missiles suck rather than thrust?*






*Taken from the film, "The Russia House."

**CCCP if you want to get technical on me...

Someone put the Swamp Dragon in wrong way round.*:)

Taken from The Last Hero

Demetrius

Lust4Life wrote:

Hail, it's that Hunter Gatherer instinct in you trying to force nature back to the way things ought to be.

So what is the scientific explaination for 90% of lesbians preferring the Mullet Hairdo?

So that they can shout out,

"Business up front, party in the rear!

Or am I thinking of somebody else?:)

Is there any reason for some females at work not cutting their long Wolverine-nails and yet continuing to type?

Lust4Life

Oh, Dem, I can answer that one too!
It's a cool challenge to see just how well we can accurately type using the nails themselves before they start breaking.
And that clack-clack clicking makes more noise than fingertips - hence the boss thinks you're working really hard and really concentrating on getting the work done!

Although I used to work with a gal whose nails would start to curl as they got long and her keyboard letters were red from nail varnish rubbing off on them. That was a bit disturbing.



So why DON'T humans eat their young?

Thrill

Have you ever tried putting one between two rounds of bread?
Trust me, its not easy. This is the voice of experience typing.
Anyway, they taste pretty awful.
Except with marmite, which tastes worse.

And now, in the quest for scientific knowledge, my question is...(drumroll)....

If a man prefers women, is he straight, or just a lesbian in a man's body?

boneless

Both answers are correct...

Why are sardines useful to the scientific community?

spacecoyote

they fit snugly into the human anus (or so i've been told)

whats the best science?

boneless

The one where you can blow things up!!! Or pour strange liquids on people...

Hail 2 Da Chimp

Correct, how do i become a boobologist?

spacecoyote

you must answer all the fall questions with a yes to qualify:

1 - do you love boobies?

2 - have you ever looked up boobies on google?

3 - have you ever looked at playboy?

4 - do you slyly check out topless chicks at pools/beaches on holidays?

5 - have you ever touched real boobies

6 - do you laugh at the name of the show "Twin Peaks"?

7 - have you ever drawn boobies on a fogged up window on a bus?

8 - do you know who Lolo Ferrari is?

9 - is baywatch the greatest show of all time?

boneless

By taking to the field with a measuring tape and a bottle of baby oil.

Star Lord

spacecoyote wrote:

you must answer all the fall questions with a yes to qualify:
1 - do you love boobies?
2 - have you ever looked up boobies on google?
3 - have you ever looked at playboy?
4 - do you slyly check out topless chicks at pools/beaches on holidays?
5 - have you ever touched real boobies
6 - do you laugh at the name of the show "Twin Peaks"?
7 - have you ever drawn boobies on a fogged up window on a bus?
8 - do you know who Lolo Ferrari is?
9 - is baywatch the greatest show of all time?

1-8: YES!
9: No, too much guys in red shorts

Hail 2 Da Chimp

Hang on I think i may already be a boobologist.... Wow, any volunteers?


//Gets out measurnig tape.

Lust4Life

Well, mine aren't big, they're just shapely so....


Anyway, I have this book copyright 1890 that says the following:

TO RESTORE FROM STROKE OF LIGHTENING:
Shower with cold water for two hours; if the patient does not show signs of life, put salt in the water, and continue to shower an hour longer.

So... Am I supposed to be the one showering an hour longer or am I supposed to be showering with the human barbecue?

Capt'n Midnight

Hail 2 Da Chimp wrote:

Correct, how do i become a boobologist?

you need a uniform
and somewhere to store your stuff

Capt'n Midnight

And some study material

spacecoyote

Capt'n Midnight wrote:

And some study material

great idea, why didn't we think of homework & study material before! Here's some more

Jules

why are the boobies bouncing up and down like that slightly hypnotic?

Hail 2 Da Chimp

Schwing!!!!!

Star Lord

Whats the scientific equasion of idiocy?

Can you cure me dr Chimp?

Hail 2 Da Chimp

Yes... yes I can. But we're gonna need vodka and a hell of a lot of it. To be sure this really works im also going to need you to sign this form giving me power of attorney...

popebenny16

if you were falling down a bottomless pit, would you get bored?

Jules

depends if you hit anything at the sides...



Could you have a Sideless Bottomless Pit?

popebenny16

Well, the pit is a couple of kilometers wide, and you're falling down the middle.

What if your girlfriend falls down after you, all desperate like, and shes about 10 feet behind you. Would you be able to slow down so you could meet up and start a family all falling down a bottomless pit?

Lust4Life

Jaysus! Nobody cares if I'm showering with / or in front of a corpse?
(alltight, bring on the husband jokes...)

Demetrius

I guess a stiff may be useful at times!:D

Is there a scientic method of making my hair look normal after a shower? It's got about 43 natural partings....

Lust4Life

Gel, Mousse, moisturizer, hair net, hair spray.
There are hundreds of products out there.



Okay, here's a good science question for ya!
How come I buy BLONDE hair dye. I dye my hair with it and my hair turns red?
WTF????????????????

Demetrius

Oh, that is God's way of telling you that you are far from being a blond.:)

Waits for pat on head.

(Scientific reason could be that alot of Carotenes in one's diet could have an impact on the dye/hair interaction...someone at the factory got the colours mixed up...or maybe you have a practical joker of a hairdresser, one who queens it up in the shop, but is in fact married with 10 children.)

Is there a reason why some people's arm-span exceed their height?

Lust4Life

yeah, their parents probably yanked then through stores while shopping in their youth.


Why can't I come up with a new science question?