Next step with Bf

LegacyUser

im not sure if this will be allowed in PI but its really bothering me & i need advice..

basically, im 20 & with my first proper bf. but ive never really done anything with a guy below the waist. & ill be seeing him at the weekend & i think its expected (which i am fine with, no pressure or anything) but im not sure what im doing im really embarassed & dont want to have to admit to never giving a guy a handjob before.

if anyone has any advice id be so grateful..? anything from what to do to cleaning things up afterwards... (*cringe*)

(im aware the sex & sexuality forum would be a better place for this but i dont have access to that so id appreciate if the mods would leave this in PI, thanks)

Darragh29

Jasus to be that age again where this was all I had to worry about! I wouldn't worry at all 'bout this, especially the cleaning up bit you asked about, sure that's not your problem! :cool: :cool: :cool:

The_B_Man

just a handjob? ah rite, thought u were gonna say more than that.

right, well just grab the thing! haha, sure he'll prob help ya along the way and tell ya what way to do it. they're not the most advanced thing to be doin like.


EDIT: oh ye and if ur feeling adventurous, whatever ya do, dont squeeze the 2 veg. bad experience with taht once!

Sinfonia

i was about to launch into a big tutorial, but then i thought no!
don't be embarrassed, just tell him. he won't mind, in fact theres a decent possibility he'll find it to be a compliment (he's the first), or maybe even a turn on (he's the first!)
so be up front, tell him, and ask him to tell you what he likes, etc.

i've been with a girl for 4 years, and i can't count how many times i've been reminded of how important communication is in all aspects of a relationship.

Ruu_Old

Just tell him, theres no shame in it, I am sure he will see it the same way. Help each other out and get him to guide you. Have fun.

nah_biy!

I had a similiar problem with my ex girlfriend, or rather she hadn't been touched, and having spoken about it, it seemed to work well

LegacyUser

And be gentle aswell, there are a lot of nerves down there!

LegacyUser

Remember yer not trying to ****ing remove anything as well, dont lose sight of your objective!

Talliesin

inexperienced wrote:

(im aware the sex & sexuality forum would be a better place for this but i dont have access to that so id appreciate if the mods would leave this in PI, thanks)

No, actually this is better put here. You've a problem and you're looking for advice - now if you just wanted to talk about such problems in general, then S&S would be the place. If PM'd me asking to post this on your behalf in S&S (so as to stay anonymous) I'd have recommended you posted here.

inexperienced wrote:

im really embarassed & dont want to have to admit to never giving a guy a handjob before.

You should note that quite a few guys would find this a turn on or a compliment. Now sure there are down-sides to being with someone less experienced, but it's a rare person who won't at least enjoy teaching a willing student.

He may be concerned that you aren't feeling 100% ready, or that if he's your first that it's because you're view of the relationship is that it is more serious than he views it. As long as he's reassured that you're happy and aren't expecting to go shopping for engagement rings the next day, then he'll probably be happy with it.

Tell him its your first time. Listen to what he says. If something seems like a good idea at the time then give it a go, but be prepared to stop if he doesn't like it.

Everyone is different, and indeed most people have things they only like sometimes, so even if this wasn't your first time you'd need a lot of feedback from your lover as to what you were doing.

Remember that the head is more sensitive than the shaft, especially on uncircumcised men once the foreskin is pulled back - so you can give more pleasure but also go too far or do a nice thing for too long there.

Have fun.

inexperienced wrote:

if anyone has any advice id be so grateful..? anything from what to do to cleaning things up afterwards... (*cringe*)

Use tissues. There are more fun ways of cleaning up (for some, more icky for others), but save that until you're more confident with things (though hey, if you feel a great desire to try licking it up instead, don't let my advice hold you back).

Showering together afterwards will get you both nice and clean again, and be an oppotunity for more fun.

Marksie

Just communicate and take it slowly and gently. Let him guide you, or ask him to guide you.
If you can establish communication then your half way there.

Dont rush and be gentle initially... listen to what noises he is making and what he askes for..even ask him what he would like.
Essentially if you are not afraid to share it will be great for both of you

Well the stuff cleans up with soap an water .. but tissues are good.

dr.bollocko

Someone PM MarkSuttonie, we need a major handjob lecture.

dr.bollocko

Dammit! I was that one minute too long writing that post!

sonners

all of the above posts seem to be from fellas (for obvious reasons!) So I just said I'd give you a girls point of view....
..Whether ur inexperienced or not, communication is a huge thing in order to get the most out of any sexual relationship. just talk to him, he's only human and he had to start somewhere too. In fact I think u'll find theres a few things that he's not too sure about (with regards to satisfying you). By sharing your concerns you'll be opening the door for him to share his and I think you'll find its a better experience for both you and should bring you alot closer together.

Good luck & just relax & enjoy urself (that is what its all about after all)!!

Blazer

as one girl i was with one night did...treat it like a joystick..I think maybe she thought she was flying the J-10 in Battlefield 2:D

slumped

blowjob = suck

DO NOT BLOW down on it. EVER
S

Marksie

dr.bollocko wrote:

Someone PM MarkSuttonie, we need a major handjob lecture.

well i could go that route but it would need to be in advanced techniques!:p

Best to go for what feels natural.. but maybe some massage oil on the hand is a good idea .

Sinfonia

does anyone else find marksuttonie's posts a bit disturbing? the only reason i do is cos i picture him as Wallace!!!

Nevyn

SumGuy, unhelpful and off-topic posting will get you banned from this forum.
Do take time to read the charter which contains the rules and abide by them.
Have a nice day.
Thaedydal

Tar.Aldarion

Don't be shy OP, just ask him, he knows what he likes after years of practice.


Tissue.

dr.bollocko

marksuttonie wrote:

well i could go that route but it would need to be in advanced techniques!:p

Best to go for what feels natural.. but maybe some massage oil on the hand is a good idea .

Actually this is the best advice again.
Because you have never handled one before, you won't really be able for lots of different techniques etc. until you get used to it, and feel a bit more at home handling cock.
The best thing you can do is slarve on some massage oil and it will hide all major mistakes, and defo get the guy off.

Heisenberg.

This post has been deleted.

Talliesin

The Scientist wrote:

Stay away from the bottom of it.... complete waste of time.

Not necessarily. Not all penises are the same!

The Scientist wrote:

Oh, and dont use a vice like grip!!!!

Not necessarily either, though that's getting more into specialised tastes rather than first times.

Marksie

The Scientist wrote:

Stay away from the bottom of it.... complete waste of time.

You can use one hand to stimulate the base while pulling the skin back and using the other to do the stroking.

Of course then there is the BP spot which is at the base.. about the level of the scrotum into the bottom of the pubic bone. It can be massaged lightly

joebhoy1916

inexperienced wrote:

basically, im 20 & with my first proper bf. but ive never really done anything with a guy below the waist. & ill be seeing him at the weekend & i think its expected (which i am fine with, no pressure or anything) but im not sure what im doing im really embarassed & dont want to have to admit to never giving a guy a handjob before.

Just use your mouth couldnt really go wrong unless you bite it off use your imagination

How old is he, might be coming around for something else

Chucky the tree

Excactly, girls are **** at handjobs. Just give me a blowhob, he'll be much happier.

CathyMoran

It will come naturally to you, though do ask for advice from your bf the first time that you do it, when you are in love it is a really nice thing to do and will feel nice especially when you see how happy it makes him at the end. It can be tiring though!

Gordon

Chucky the tree wrote:

Excactly, girls are **** at handjobs. Just give me a blowhob, he'll be much happier.

Quite a generalisation there!

Sam Vimes

slumped wrote:

blowjob = suck

DO NOT BLOW down on it. EVER
S

quoted in case she doesn't notice it above

Talliesin

Blowing down it can be okay as something silly to do for giggles. Generally you shouldn't do things for giggles the first time you're with them, but it's not like it'll explode.

elivsvonchiaing

Jesus Christ! Reading this I now believe that even nowadays people are as sexually repressed as I was!

You should discuss these feelings with him - THEN get it on!

Encourage him to do to you what you do to him; quid-pro-quo!

Get over this christian guilt rubbish and go safe!

If you feel enough about someone that you want to have sex with them and they feel the same way; don't let your mum/parish priest appear on your shoulder in your own imagination and talk you out of it!

Do get your head around this fully first!

If you don't understand any of this you should simply wait until you do!

Talliesin

Who said anything about being repressed? Maybe she is, maybe she isn't, but I think we should focus on what we think the OP should do about the problem she's said she has (uncertainty due to inexperience) rather than projecting another problem onto her she may not have and offering advice about that.

sprinkles

elivsvonchiaing wrote:

Jesus Christ! Reading this I now believe that even nowadays people are as sexually repressed as I was!

You should discuss these feelings with him - THEN get it on!

Encourage him to do to you what you do to him; quid-pro-quo!

Get over this christian guilt rubbish and go safe!

If you feel enough about someone that you want to have sex with them and they feel the same way; don't let your mum/parish priest appear on your shoulder in your own imagination and talk you out of it!

Do get your head around this fully first!

If you don't understand any of this you should simply wait until you do!

Firstly it was mentioned previously. read the thread.

Secondly no one mentioned anything about her "christian guilt". She's unexperienced, not repressed. The girl is willing to do this and is looking for some advice on her first time not a pointless lecture about the repressed teachings of the catholic church.


Anyway OP just take things slow, and whatever you do don't yank it back to far.... end up tearing the foreskin (I've heard of this happening) :eek:

elexes

it hasnt been said before now im a bit surprised but
http://www.play.com/DVD/DVD/4-/565476/The_Lover_Guide_Satisfaction_Guaranteed_7_Secrets_To_A_Passionate_Love_Life/Product.html
or simular .

dosnt cost much can give you some tips but imo

why dont you just tell me your a novice and have him show you how to do things and you show him how you like it

LegacyUser

Thanks to the people who gave helpful responses.

I had pretty much planned on telling him, he knew i hadnt done much before anyway.

Anyway it was all grand, so just wanted to say thanks for easing my worries or whatever it was

ps. im not innocent enough to think a blowjob is actually blowing, heh