Distance

LegacyUser

How do you make the distance thing work? How? especially if its the start of a relationship? And you only get to see one and other once a month?

Zillah

Are phonecalls, texts messages, email and msn not successful?

LegacyUser

Aye phonecalls and texts do certainly do remove some of the burden of the distance, but essentially what I'm asking is in the long run, considering that both of us are in jobs which we have no intention of leaving in the immediate future, and we are situatated around 7 hours by car away, can it work?

Magic Pips

yes it can work if you want it to. I've just started with a girl from madrid... just take things as they come, if/when it comes to the stage where you cant stand the distance anymore, either one of you will have to change location or you will have to split

Ruu_Old

I have been through this and am 2 years happily married after many years of hard work. Where is your partner located OP? Both of you have to want it. Phone calls, email, webcams, messaging programs, use the internet as your medium. You are lucky to get to see your partner once a month as that wasn't an option for me. Anyway savour the memories, write letters to each other and read them to each other when you meet again. Ah thats just my sappy rubbish.:) Feel free to send me a PM if you want anymore advice, good luck.

LegacyUser

Ive been going out with my German girlfriend for just under 2 years now. We see each other for a week or so every 4+ weeks. It can be hard at times. I think communication & trust are the key.
We are at the point where something has to be done or else it won't work. I have decided to move to Germany for a year with her (as she has just graduated and needs to get work experience in Germany first) and then after that year she will move to Ireland for a while anyway.
I had never even considered moving to Germany (hated German going to school etc) but now it suits me and I am looking forward to it. Who knows, maybe in a year or two yours or her circumstances may change which might bring ye closer together. A lot can happen in a year or two. Then again maybe it won't.

funk-you

Phone calls, txts, skype, letters etc....
I did the long distance thing with my girlfriend for just under a year and had no intention of moving over to her at the time. Believe me, things change down the road and for many reasons i decided to move. I've now been living in London with her the past few months and i'm having a great time.

Circumstances change and people change and all you can do is go with it and see what happens, it'll either end up sh1tty or great. You cant be sure that you'll feel the same about anything in a year or two's time.

Hope it works out.

-Funk

magick

I think communication & trust are the key.

aye 4 yrs , long distance , i mean mega long distance 10 hrs on a plane to see her, and we are planning to get married !

Black Swan

Yes, it can work if you both want it to. In a very distant relationship (across the pond) for 8 months. You have to be playful and creative.

iguana

I'd also recommend the old fashioned letter writing as well as electronic communication. It can be very sweet to come home from work and find a letter on the doormat from someone you are missing. Or you could send small presents or flowers occasionally. Just a little surprise reminder that you are thinking of them.

It takes trust, commitment and thoughtfulness. And whatever you do, when you do get to see each other make an effort to make it special. Plan a couple of nice things to do but nothing set in stone so that if you just feel like staying in all weekend you can do that instead.

judybaby

Don't do it if u can! Huge phone bills, huge visa bills (flights if its like me) and huge heartache! If you do go for it ....loads of communication so that both parties feel assured in the relationship.

I should know ...doing it 3 years now....get out before you fall!!!!!

If I had my time all over again .....

Has its good points too though which I'll leave to your imagination x

hunnymonster

wow, some of you guys are talking mega distances. And here was I thinking Dublin to Cork was a LDR!

I'm at it just over 2 years now. In the process of figuring out what to do long term. I'm in a highly specialised career and higher earner but don't like my job that much. He has a very general profession but loves his job... Both cities have advantages and disadvantages..... Having said that, I quite enjoy the distance thing. I'm not very good at living in anyone's pocket and love the freedom I have during the week.