Pinpointing the cause of unhappiness?

Delta_Golf

Hi all,

I am hoping some of you can help me out here. I have been an unhappy person for a long time now! Very little enjoyment out of life etc.

I am not going to bore people with the details so I will keep things short and simple.

I have a several problems that cause me great stress. None of these are life threatening but to me they all seem like mountains to climb. A climb that I just cannot seem to start.

Now I have been thinking lately, what has/is the route cause of all this. I believe I am depressed but I am not sure if depression is causing all these problems or are all these problems causing the depression?

I am leaning towards the later but it could be a combination of both!!

Any advice or thoughts would be greatly appreciated!

Thank you!

greenkittie

Probably a combination of both. I'm pretty sure ive been depressed since i was 5 but i haven't ever botherd going to the doctor. I just get on with it.

conky_05

hey, you should see a counsillor. they are great to even just have a chat with, and nearly always got to the route of the problem.

DirkVoodoo

You should go talk to your GP, and if it isn't clinical depression, maybe you just need a new outlook on life. Leave your job, go somewhere exotic, see the world!

LegacyUser

Things didn't turn out the way you expected. Thats always the cause of unhappiness. Wether its in relationships, work, family, wherever. You had an idea at some point along the way of how things were gonna work out, and it didn't happen. It never will either, it'll constantly change and you'll have to accept it, get over it, and start doing whatever it is you genuinely want to do.

Delta_Golf

Thank you for your replies!

I guess I should see a councellor but I find the whole idea a bit strange! I am not sure I would feel comfortable talking to a stranger about personal matters.

I really can't see how having a chat can solve problems! I can understand how it might make you feel a bit better at that moment but surely its only temporary??

Nevyn

It is not a simple chat it is way too look and focus at what they problems seem to be and what the real under lying ones are.
It can help gain a sense of perspective and sometimes you need to look at things from another point of view and a shift of mind set is required and you can only get to there with help.

Delta_Golf

Ok, that sounds like it could be helpful!

Do you think from my original question that depression is the route of all the problems or is it the other way around?

By the way, has the weekend started early for you?

Thaedydal wrote:

It is not a dimple chat it is way too look anf ofcus

Nevyn

The depression can be the cause and the sympthom,
you can't cope becuase you are down and not coping gets you down.

It can be a cycle that is hard to break out of and you can only doing that by making changes but if you feel disempowered in your life making changes is very hard.

There are no conculsive answers to what causes depression it seems to be a combination of things.

Ah I didn't get a lot of sleep last night and when I am tired my dyslexia plays up as I find it harder to focus.

Ruu_Old

DirkVoodoo wrote:

You should go talk to your GP, and if it isn't clinical depression, maybe you just need a new outlook on life. Leave your job, go somewhere exotic, see the world!

This might be a good idea, a change of scenery might do the trick and help you get your mind straight. Best of luck anyway.

secret_squirrel

Delta_Golf wrote:

Do you think from my original question that depression is the route of all the problems or is it the other way around?

How do you think we can tell without knowing exactly what the problems are.

Both options are perfectly valid.

Sometimes a single problem can be a route to depression that in turn causes a multitude of problems.

If you have clinical depression then quite possibly you would have had no problems until the depression kicks in.

Unless you tell us more personal details I really dont see how you expect us to decide.

And even if we do decide, whose to say we are right or if it would be helpful??

Delta_Golf

Well I guess it was a silly question to ask without going into specifics!

chamlis

Chats are great. Never underestimate the power of a good load dump!

But fcs, get out of town for a few days. If you're not living at home, then go home if possible. Be fussed over. You don't have to talk to anyone about it if you don't want to, but just be there for awhile. Recharge. Take the dog(s) for a walk.

Works.

Bob the Builder

Dont bother with that GP crap. A GP will tell you your depressed and you need a large dose of something which is totally false.
Your just unhappy with life. [full stop]

I'm 14, I wasn't extremely happy with life either until I met a girl and talked on MSN for a whole night and talked about all the crap that ruined my life. I knew I could trust her, and it was probably one of the best nights of sleep I had in a while, i didnt wake up with these bad dreams where I was crushed by a car, etc.

Now, I can laugh at life. Life's a bitch... but it's a bitch for everone else too. How do they get on with it?

Have you got a friend you can talk to? Either way, give something like online chat a go, you'll meet dozen's of people who are just as unhappy as you are.

Esel

nevf wrote:

Dont bother with that GP crap. A GP will tell you your depressed and you need a large dose of something which is totally false.

Don't pay too much attention to generalised advice such as this about an important problem in your life.

If you are looking for a professional counsellor, your GP is a good place to start. Counsellors can be expensive though. Your GP can refer you to a HSE counsellor/therapist, which should be free of charge, although you may have to wait a while.

turbot

pinpointing the cause of unhappiness won't make you happy.

Put it like this:

Your experience of life can be usefully described as loads of systems that interact with eachother

Physical
Mental
Emotional
Spiritual
Environmental
Social
Financial
Family


If any one of these is way out of balance, it's still possible to live well, provided the others compensate.

However, if many of these are out of balance, it means that overall, the way you live isn't generating happiness.

Thus, there are lots of ways of making your life better.
If you are miserable and want to be less, it's worth looking at each one of these and finding the places where you have options, and then choosing the highest return, lowest effort places to make your life better.

For example, if you eat badly, change your diet (I suggest read about Patrick Holfords low GL diet)

If you never workout, join a gym and start or do some other fun exercise

If you've never been happy where you live now, consider moving to a different place, etc.

IF you can find enough ways to improve your life, you'll make yourself much happier

Delta_Golf

turbot wrote:

pinpointing the cause of unhappiness won't make you happy.

Put it like this:

Your experience of life can be usefully described as loads of systems that interact with eachother

Physical
Mental
Emotional
Spiritual
Environmental
Social
Financial
Family


If any one of these is way out of balance, it's still possible to live well, provided the others compensate.

However, if many of these are out of balance, it means that overall, the way you live isn't generating happiness.

Thus, there are lots of ways of making your life better.
If you are miserable and want to be less, it's worth looking at each one of these and finding the places where you have options, and then choosing the highest return, lowest effort places to make your life better.

For example, if you eat badly, change your diet (I suggest read about Patrick Holfords low GL diet)

If you never workout, join a gym and start or do some other fun exercise

If you've never been happy where you live now, consider moving to a different place, etc.

IF you can find enough ways to improve your life, you'll make yourself much happier

Hi, thanks for that! That seems like really sound advice! I have already made some changes. I started doing a degree at night and a few more working hours and already I can feel a slight bit better as I am busier.

secret_squirrel

Delta_Golf wrote:

Hi, thanks for that! That seems like really sound advice! I have already made some changes. I started doing a degree at night and a few more working hours and already I can feel a slight bit better as I am busier.

Thats really positive - fair play to you. Just a word of caution though - make sure you arent just creating busy work to mask the problem.

DirkVoodoo

nevf wrote:

Dont bother with that GP crap. A GP will tell you your depressed and you need a large dose of something which is totally false.
Your just unhappy with life. [full stop]

I'm 14, I wasn't extremely happy with life either until I met a girl and talked on MSN for a whole night and talked about all the crap that ruined my life. I knew I could trust her, and it was probably one of the best nights of sleep I had in a while, i didnt wake up with these bad dreams where I was crushed by a car, etc.

Now, I can laugh at life. Life's a bitch... but it's a bitch for everone else too. How do they get on with it?

Have you got a friend you can talk to? Either way, give something like online chat a go, you'll meet dozen's of people who are just as unhappy as you are.

If he is a good GP, and more importantly one he has had for a while, he will no him better than to "shoot him up" with a large dose of something. In all fairness, depression is a medical condition so the GP advice is an option.

turbot

I think busy is positive.

It's better than having too much time to think about things that make you miserable.

I also think proactively striving to make you life better is healthy, because it gives you hope.

Each day find 5 easy ways you can improve your life since the day before

Do that for two months, and your life will be much better, but more importantly, you'll learn you can make it better, thus by implication, you can be more in charge of your own happiness.

Delta_Golf

turbot wrote:

I think busy is positive.

It's better than having too much time to think about things that make you miserable.

Well, I think that may have been part of the problem for me. For the last few years I have only been working a few hours a week. The money is decent enough to live on. But because I had alot of spare time and I was bored, thinking about things alot. I became very lazy and unmotivated and very tired. My concentration and memory have deteriorated.

Perhaps this is the cause of some of the unhappiness but I believe I was unhappy before it to.

But now that I am doing a few extra hours at work and attending college at night I may start to see things improving as I will be more active and my mind will be exercised more.

Heisenberg.

This post has been deleted.

Delta_Golf

The Scientist wrote:

lol.... I think everyone has bouts/periods of depression. 5hit does happen, all you can do is suck it up my friend and take it day by day..

Yes, everybody has bouts of depression. But alot of people are living under the constant cloud of depression.