Advice to freshers

Bartronilic

Apart from societies, attending tutorials etc there is other advice needen to be given like this:

Make sure you go on your library tour after you register. Seriously, you meet people on your course who you'll see again in your first lecture and you see if you have log in problems with the computers.

Go to the SU stand in Front Square to get free stuff in Freshers' Week. Get condoms. Don't put them in your wallet.

xebec

Myth wrote:

Get condoms. Don't put them in your wallet.

Staple them to your notice board instead

Oh yeah, or use them!

Hang on... Myth, what's wrong with putting them in your wallet? What alternative would you propose putting them in so they are always with you?

Sillyaspie

Myth wrote:

Go to the SU stand in Front Square to get free stuff in Freshers' Week. Get condoms. Don't put them in your wallet.

Why not, you can't wear one all the time.

xebec

xebec wrote:

Hang on... Myth, what's wrong with putting them in your wallet? What alternative would you propose putting them in so they are always with you?

Condom in Wallet. Wallet in pocket. Pocket = body heat. Heat = bad for condoms, pressure from sides of wallet = bad for condoms. Condom weakens and breaks during sex. Uh oh.

Alternative - get some, leave in the place you're likely to get some at, or else put some in your bag!

xebec

Myth wrote:

Condom in Wallet. Wallet in pocket. Pocket = body heat. Heat = bad for condoms, pressure from sides of wallet = bad for condoms. Condom weakens and breaks during sex. Uh oh.

Uh oh!

Sillyaspie

I love this we are all learning together, what else can you teach us oh myth-ical one?

Doff your cap to this man:

shay_562

Alternative - get some, leave in the place you're likely to get some at

But what about the ever-present possibility of Surprise Sex?

Crash

and if you see the junior dean, its college tradition to shake your fist while shouting "CRUSTY OLD DEAN!" at the top of your lungs

Agent Smith

shay_562 wrote:

But what about the ever-present possibility of Surprise Sex?

tayto bag tbh..

shay_562

shay_562 wrote:

But what about the ever-present possibility of Surprise Sex?

What do I look like, a welfare officer?

Edit: what agent smith said. Just avoid salt & vinegar.

Sillyaspie

Myth wrote:

What do I look like, a welfare officer?

Edit: what agent smith said. Just avoid salt & vinegar.

Fuck that.

Agent Smith

surely thats the Point....

KamikazeBananze

Freshers, don't eat the first thing you see.

You never know.

'Course, I'm just naturally paranoid. Oh well.

Get to love Koka noodles. They'll become easier to eat that way.

shay_562

and if you see the junior dean, its college tradition to shake your fist while shouting "CRUSTY OLD DEAN!" at the top of your lungs

I thought it was college tradition to aim for a headshot?

tayto bag tbh..

...ouch. Just, ouch. That's gotta burn. (and not in the good way)

Agent Smith

shay_562 wrote:

?




...ouch. Just, ouch. That's gotta burn. (and not in the good way)

how about turning it inside out?

shay_562

shay_562 wrote:

I thought it was college tradition to aim for a headshot?

From the Campanile!

Oh, on the subject of actual advice, keep an eye on http://www.studentcents.ie/ for some good deals on 2 for 1 vouchers and the sort. Oh, and always ask for a student discount. You'll be hated, but if it works, score.

Crash

so you're now swapping salt and vinegar in the japs eye for thin layer of pointy foil in the japs eye. joy.

KamikazeBananze

That's another thing.

Freshers on the lam,
Won't pass exams.

Heh.

Seriously, though, if you want to pass your exams:

DON'T WALK UNDER THE CAMPANILE!

It's a big phallic symbol in Front Square. You can't miss it.

shay_562

how about turning it inside out?

...you're not a very considerate lover, are you Joe?

Agent Smith

&#231 wrote: »

so you're now swapping salt and vinegar in the japs eye for thin layer of pointy foil in the japs eye. joy.

you sound as if you speak from true experiance.


tbh i didnt know you were that hard up ( excuse the pun!). If you look out for members of the students union on freshers week, they usually give out condoms. you could even ask president quinn himself!

Agent Smith

shay_562 wrote:

...you're not a very considerate lover, are you Joe?

no, i wont have sex with you

KamikazeBananze

C'mon joe. Give him a chance.

He may have some redeeming qualities...

agent smith

agent smith wrote:

you could even ask president quinn himself!

You trying to say Quinn won't be getting some?

Agent Smith

KamikazeBananze wrote:

C'mon joe. Give him a chance.

He may have some redeeming qualities...

he could be the queen of england, i'm still not sleepuing with him

Sillyaspie

Off fucking topic, please keep this civil lads, there are people genuinely looking for advice and yet again the regulars are hear inflating their fucking ego's get a life, and try and help these people out,
you are disgusting.

Agent Smith

Myth wrote:

You trying to say Quinn won't be getting some?

some what? Condoms? ehh i's guess he would... he is the president after all

Agent Smith

Sillyaspie wrote:

Off fucking topic, please keep this civil lads, there are people genuinely looking for advice and yet again the regulars are hear inflating their fucking ego's get a life, and try and help these people out,
you are disgusting.

you have much to learn about this Fourm little fresher....

KamikazeBananze

yah. I've just returned here (woo me! ), and I'm getting into things again.

And I've given two or three pieces of advice. I think I've done my bit for fresheranity.

Or whatever the collective genus name for freshers is.

You know. Humanity, Vogonity. That sort of thing.

cianclarke

Myth wrote:

Get to love Koka noodles. They'll become easier to eat that way.

I've eaten a pack every night for at least three years. Sorted!

KamikazeBananze

Koka Noodles aren't too bad.

Though they contain stuff... that makes 'em bad... or something.

Whatever. Eat the damn noodles. See if I care.

... I do...

cianclarke

After consuming roughly 900 packs in the past three years, the damage has been done.
Plus, all that's in them is cardboard. :rolleyes:

The_Radiator

You need to find a tin box, a little bigger than 3 condoms and try and fit that in ur wallet without causing damage to the condoms. Girls should be carrying condoms these days anyway.

Sillyaspie

The_Radiator wrote:

You need to find a tin box, a little bigger than 3 condoms and try and fit that in ur wallet without causing damage to the condoms. Girls should be carrying condoms these days anyway.

Don't tell me that's your second post.

Agent Smith

Shhhh! Nobody tell him....





Thats what you need

KamikazeBananze

Would you prefer him to say it's his first?

Crash

Do not survive on koka noodles. Do not drink from college bar taps unless you hear reports from others first. Doing stupid **** in the pav is a right, not a priveledge. You will get chatted up by older college students. yes part of it is a tradition, its always nice to feel a little fresher at the end of the day. Don't eat yellow snow. College events are worth going to, purely so that people you will never meet again will remember you for about five minutes as "oh yeah...that guy." Never try running the race track on the cricket green if you're drinking and smoking at the same time. Never pee in a sink at the top of house 6, very hot christian union women WILL catch you. Pee when they're gone instead. Poker is fun, but dangerous.

Awayindahils

The_Radiator wrote:

You need to find a tin box, a little bigger than 3 condoms and try and fit that in ur wallet without causing damage to the condoms. Girls should be carrying condoms these days anyway.

Alot do. Also the condoms get less damaged in bags given that they don't get squished and there's less exposure to body heat.

Sillyaspie

agent smith wrote:

Shhhh! Nobody tell him....

what? is it Kev again?

Barry Aldwell

&#231 wrote: »

You will get chatted up by older college students. yes part of it is a tradition, its always nice to feel a little fresher at the end of the day.

And koka noodles do get old......very, very fast......

Agent Smith

Awayindahils wrote:

Alot do. Also the condoms get less damaged in bags given that they don't get squished and there's less exposure to body heat.

tbh what people need are these

KamikazeBananze

A comprehensive list, crash, but you forgot something.

Don't break into the Provost's wine cellar. It's been done, AND YOU WILL BE FOUND.

And read the TCD Charter. It contains some information and strictures that have not yet been revoked, as far as I can tell. Like getting a flagon of ale/mead during an exam.

Where is the Student Charter, by the way? I know it said something about swords...

KamikazeBananze

KamikazeBananze wrote:

And read the TCD Charter. It contains some information and strictures that have not yet been revoked, as far as I can tell. Like getting a flagon of ale/mead during an exam.

You mean the Statutes? Doesn't mention it in the present ones (from what I remember). College Calendar certainly doesn't mention it.

Where is the Student Charter, by the way? I know it said something about swords...

Same as above. Student Charter is something which came into existance in 1994 or so, the sword rule is from the time of Charles. 1637, was it? Enda should know the date of that charter.

[edit] corrected dates.

The_Radiator

My advice to freshers'

Don't have unprotected sex with any strangers, ever.
Don't do strange drugs with strangers, ever.
Don't attempt to toast chicken fillets in your toaster. That will give you food poisoning.
Don't **** anyone over to make your ego feel better in the short term.
Don't go to any hist or phil things, they're generally crap and full of boring people.

Be yourself. Unless yourself is a boring self absorbed shy person who has a porn collection.
Tell your girlfriend you love her.
Don't get in fights you don't think you can win.
Exercise and eat good food. Sex is good exercise, but bad food.

Nietzschean

Hey Kev.

Sillyaspie

Don't ban him too.

The_Radiator

silly who are you? I can't tell if i like you or hate you.

Nietzschean

hate probally, its HDX

Sillyaspie

pm sent