Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

Really confused bi-curious

  • 24-09-2006 10:48am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi. emm.... I'm really not sure how much I should say here but what the hell. Basically, I have a girlfriend for a long time but I'm not really interested in sex with her any more. Theres a lot of women that I really fancy but theres also an increasing number of men and its making me kinda confused.

    I've been bi-curious for awhile and never acted on it at all. Im 23 and living in Dublin and as much as I want to see if this is what I really want, I dont know how to go about finding out. Its only certain guys Im attracted to and the ones I like I could never ask for fear of being rudely outed.

    This has been bugging me for a while now and I'd appreciate any advice.


Comments

  • #2
    ignite
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20 ✭ignite


    Well there are a few issues here.

    1. Do you love your girlfriend? If it's a 'stable'/'committed' type, then this is very important.
    2. Is it possible that the rise in interest that you have in guys is de-railing a good relationship with here?

    If you say you're liking guys more and more, then fair enough. That's certain - since a simple 'pitched tent' makes it quite clear what you like! Regardless of everything else that's happening to you, if you no longer love your partner, then it's time to split.

    If you don't love her any more, then you need to gather your strength, and tell her. Be as patient as you possibly can with her - you've had the time for thinking this through, her reactions will be less thought out, and more emotional. But it would be, beyond doubt, worse to 'lead her on'.

    If you're liking guys more, then test the water. Find the balance between resolving your feelings, and pushing yourself too far too soon. Don't try to do this all in a short space of time. Your guarenteed to mess your head up. But when you feel comfortable, go ahead and meet guys. Do you know any gay guys at all? You could always drop into a gay club, maybe drink a little, absorb the atmosphere, let your mind (and no doubt body :D) adapt to what you see. Take it from there.


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    That makes sense and although Ive been in gay pubs before its usually with someone straight whose word I wouldnt trust so I don't feel like Ive got the choice to look around and see how I feel.

    I do love her but its turning into more a familial love than a sexual one. I've heard that all straight men have gay fantasies and even crushes and I've heard that a bi-sexual is just a gay man or woman who still feels like they still have something to hide (probably from themselves). I just know that I find some people of both sexes very arousing and I feel really drawn to gay culture. I design clothes so coming out would be a small step in my parents eyes.

    Were you in this kind of situation before you "tested the water" as you put it?

    I really appreciate the reply. Thanks


Advertisement