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A matter of trust

  • 20-09-2006 5:07pm
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I've been with my girlfriend nearly 2 years now. But a few months after we got together she went out for the night and kissed a guy. Doesn't sound like much, but where only 16 and it's a big thing for me.

    After I found out, I soon forgave her. It was a few months after that, around our 1 year mark that she told me she kissed another guy, but not some random guy on a night out, but a guy in my year at school. I again forgave her for that. And everything has been fine since then.

    It's a year later and we've just started college, there's alot of new guys around and I keep thinking, "what if?" Would she do it again, and she's been making alot of new guy friends. I mean I'm not against her having friends that are guys or even spending alot of time with them, it's just, my trust feels shaken and I don't know what to do.

    Since it's a year later, I really don't want to talk to her and drag it all up again, or make her feel like I don't trust her.


Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 63 ✭✭cluborange86


    I've been with my girlfriend nearly 2 years now. But a few months after we got together she went out for the night and kissed a guy. Doesn't sound like much, but where only 16 and it's a big thing for me.

    After I found out, I soon forgave her. It was a few months after that, around our 1 year mark that she told me she kissed another guy, but not some random guy on a night out, but a guy in my year at school. I again forgave her for that. And everything has been fine since then.

    It's a year later and we've just started college, there's alot of new guys around and I keep thinking, "what if?" Would she do it again, and she's been making alot of new guy friends. I mean I'm not against her having friends that are guys or even spending alot of time with them, it's just, my trust feels shaken and I don't know what to do.

    Since it's a year later, I really don't want to talk to her and drag it all up again, or make her feel like I don't trust her.


    I think you may have been too quick to forgive her if you still have trust issues. I think shes quite lucky to have you if im being honest cause i lost my gf over something i did when we were broken up but when we got back i didnt tell her what i did while we were broken up and she cant trusst me anymore.

    I know she was young and people change cause i know how much ive changed but has she changed? does she still flirt with other guys while your out? and are you sure she hasnt kissed anyone else recently?

    if the problems are still affecting you the you need to bring them up with her cause its not your fault that they're bothering you, its clear that your thoughts aren't going to disappear. if she loves you she will accept what shes done and how its affected you and she'll do anything she can to make everything right cause thats what im doing at the moment with my ex.

    maybe try writing everything down to get things clear in your head.

    hope this helps you


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 36,634 ✭✭✭✭Ruu_Old


    It is bothering you so regardless on whether or not she might be upset by it, you need to get things straightened out with her. It is only going to wreck your head and won't do you any good.


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