Song Lyrics......

Jules

Post the funniest, stupidest, weirdest which ever you want.....

being me im gonna quote the song which has prolly the most thought provoking for me anyway!!!!!!

You're Makin' Me High

I'll always think of you
Inside of my private thoughts
I can imagine you
Touching my private parts
With just the thought of you
I can't help but touch myself
That's why I want you so bad
Just one night of
Moonlights, with you there beside me
All night, doin' it again and again
You know I want you so bad
Baby, baby, baby, baby

Oooh I get so high
When I'm around you baby
I can touch the sky
You make my temperature rise
You're makin' me high
Baby, baby, baby, baby

Can't get my mind off you
I think I might be obsessed
The very thought of you
Makes me want to get undressed
I wanna be with you
In spite of that my heart says
I guess I want you too bad
All I want is
Moonlights, with you there inside me
All night, doin' it again and again
You know I want you so bad
Baby, baby, baby, baby

Oooh I get so high
When I'm around you baby
I can touch the sky
You make my temperature rise
You're makin' me high
Baby, baby, baby, baby

I want to feel your heart and soul inside of me
Let's make a deal you roll, I lick
And we can go flying into ecstasy
Oh darlin' you and me
Light my fire
Blow my flame
Take me, take me, take me away

All I really want it
Moonlights, with you there inside me
All night, doin' it again and again
Ooh baby I want you so bad
Baby, baby, baby, baby

Oooh I get so high
When I'm around you baby
I can touch the sky
You make my temperature rise
You're makin' me high
Baby, baby, baby, baby

Oooh I get so high (ooh, oh yeah)
When I'm around you baby
I can touch the sky (touch the sky)
You make my temperature rise
You're makin' me high
Baby, baby, baby, baby

koneko

This one is..... bizarre

Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye

I've learned to turn the other cheek
Is not what love's about
I've turned mine so many times
That i damned near wore 'em out
I've grown used to your abuse
And I thought I'd never quit
But I woke up this morning
Couldn't find my shiv-a-git
You've always liked to play your games
Well I got one for you
Pretend we're playing checkers girl
And it's your time to move
You'll find your suitcase on the porch
And the taxi in the drive
Get your tongue out of my mouth
I'm kissing you goodbye

Verse 2:

I see you've finally made it home
You been out all night
Your artificial hair's a mess
And your clothes don't fit you right

I've given and forgiven
Till there ain't nothing left
But all you gave was just enough
To satisfy yourself

I can smell that whiskey in your hair
And sen-sen on your breath
If you ever tried to tell the truth
You'd choke yourself to death

I don't want your nasty kisses
And don't tell me no more lies
Get your tongue out of my mouth

I'm kissing you goodbye
Get your tongue out of my mouth
I'm kissing you goodbye

Lust4Life

Artist/Band: Cherry Bombs
Lyrics for Song: It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night
Lyrics for Album: Notorious Cherry Bombs

She used to call me baby... I thought she was such a lady
But my how things have changed since times moved on

I gave her my last dollar... And now all she'll do is holler
Oh my life has become a country song

I've learned she can resist me by the way she always disses me
And comes to bed at night, with that cold cream on

Sometimes I might feel frisky but these days it's just too risky

It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chew Your Ass Out All Day Long
All day Long
It goes all day long

If a tree fell in the forest, She didn't hear it, would I still be wrong

I guess I should admit it
She ain't never gonna quit it

It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chew Your Ass Out All Day Long

Spoken Voice:

Man I remember when her eyes used to be so blue and shiny
God you oughtta see what's happened to her hiney
(Her what?) her hiney
Man that thing is big enough to land a small plane on.
(Small plane?) I'm tellin' ya
I used to roll her in the the clover, (mmm hmm) but my god those days are over
(Hallelulia!)

It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chew Your Ass Out All Day Long
All day Long
She goes all day long

If some day they drop the big one,
I'd say sweet Jesus, She's gonna finally leave me alone

It's alright if we say it
'cause the radio won't play it.

It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chew Your Ass Out All Day Long

It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chew Your Ass Out All Day Long

spacecoyote

Artist: MC Paul Barman
Album: Paullelujah !
Song: Burping & Farting
Typed by: rom1.93@club-internet.fr

[MC Paul Barman]
Burping & Farting, Burping & Farting
Burping's from slurping the carbon dioxide
Farting's from digesting gas in the intestines
Burping & Farting, Burping & Farting
Burping's from slurping the carbon dioxide
Farting's from digesting gas in the intestines

Burping's from slurping the carbon dioxide in sugar water
Sodalicious yet less nutritious than a booger snotter
Gas burps from fast slurps and come back in blast
Chirps through the esophagus
It smells like a sarcophagus
Chewing gum swallows air and straws add air too
Did big bro ever burp shotgunning homebrew?
Too much makes you puke and so does flu
Purging's great
Never urge a date to regurgitate

Burping & Farting, Burping & Farting
Burping's from slurping the carbon dioxide
Farting's from digesting gas in the intestines
Burping & Farting, Burping & Farting
Burping's from slurping the carbon dioxide
Farting's from digesting gas in the intestines

I said Farting's from digesting gas in the intestines
When gas spurts my ass hurts and blows back my grass skirts and tartans
Don't be disheartened if you fart in a crowd
Silent but deadly
The cloud wasn't loud
If you got more gas than Gulf I'd cull fried foods or else emit some
sulfides
Pass me a charcoal pill
Scratch that
Give me that thar whole grill "Coming at you mate!"
You flatulate the gas that you ate
It's really just doody in vaporous form
Mine is so fresh the paper is warm
I took a peek in my dookareeka and found a lentil a diamond and corn
Eureka!

"How could he be so smart and so stupid at the same time?"

chamlis

Type O Negative
"Haunted"

From the panes a green mist swirls
Is it a shadow of reflection
This apparition in moon beams bathed
A voice like wind through trees beckons
Cool rain on hot summer stone
The odor fills my presence
Of freshly dug grave and deatha nd night
These things are her essence
Nocturnal mistress, spirit lover
Your mouth of wine and woodsmoke taste
My goddess of the violet twilight
You are lust incarnate
In the sweat of my bed
The eastern sky hints of dawning
Alone and awake but exhausted I lie
Oh how I hate the morning

biko

I just down from the Isle of Skye
I'm no very big but I'm awful shy
All the lassies shout as I walk by,
"Donald, Where's Your Trousers?"

Let the wind blow high and the wind blow low
Through the streets in my kilt I go
All the lassies cry, "Hello!
Donald, where's your trousers?"

I went to a fancy ball
It was slippery in the hall
I was afeared that I may fall
Because I nay had on trousers

I went down to London town
To have a little fun in the underground
All the Ladies turned their heads around, saying,
"Donald, where's your trousers?"

The lassies love me every one
But they must catch me if they can
You canna put the breeks on a highland man, saying,
"Donald, where's your trousers?"

jezza

"Bad Boy"

Remember the feelings, remember the day
My stone heart was breaking
My love ran away
This moments I knew I would be someone else
My love turned around and I fell
Be my bad boy, be my man
Be my week-end lover
But don't be my friend
You can be my bad boy
But understand
That I don't need you in my life again
Won't you be my bad boy, be my man
Be my week-end lover
But don't be my friend
You can be my bad boy
But understand
That I don't need you again
No I don't need you again

You once made this promise
To stay by my side
But after some time you just pushed me aside
You never thought that a girl could be strong
Now I'll show you how to go on

Be my bad boy, be my man
Be my week-end lover
But don't be my friend
You can be my bad boy
But understand
That I don't need you in my life again

Won't you be my bad boy, be my man
Be my week-end lover
But don't be my friend
You can be my bad boy
But understand
That I don't need you again
No I don't need you again

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Y_gjfLbUQA

jezza

DJ RANKIN IN DA MIX MUTHA ****A
RAVIN I MY FINAL DESTINY O BABY CAN'T YOU SEE
THAT IIIIIIIIHI AM A RAVER
IN MY HEART I WILL ALWAYS ALWAYS BE A RAVER CAN'T YOU SEE
THAT IIIIIIIHI AM A RAVER
I AM A RAVER!
(REPEAT WHILE RYTHEM OF THE NITE COMES IN)
UP UP BASE UP THAT BASE UP THAT BASE
THIHERE

THIS WAY I'D B THERE THIS THIS WAY ID B THERE
THIS WAY I'D B THERE THIS WAY ID B THERE
THIS WAY I'D B THERE THIS THIS WAY ID B THERE

RAVIN I MY FINAL DESTINY O BABY CAN'T YOU SEE
THAT IIIIIIIIHI AM A RAVER
IN MY HEART I WILL ALWAYS ALWAYS BE A RAVER CAN'T YOU SEE
THAT IIIIIIIHI AM A
RAVER
I AM A RAVER

THIS WAY I'D B THERE THIS WAY ID B THERE
THIS WAY I'D B T
HERE THIS THIS WAY ID B THERE
THIS WAY I'D B THERE THIS WAY ID B THERE
THIS WAY I'D B THERE THIS THIS WAY ID B THERE

THIS WAY I'D B THERE RIGHT THERE
AND THIS WAY I'D B THERE RIGHT THERE
THIS WAY I'D B THERE RIGHT THERE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fckwWm13q9E

jezza

Nasty Girl

do it
lil nasty girl
yo man you see that damn
yo yo yo yo yo
hey girl i like yo flava
wish i could be yo neighba
must get comphy
find a way to shake yo perkilata
sumthin sumthin im your operator
hot mommy move yo flava
what i really wont do puttin that thing on you
butter up yo hot potatoe
gettin more dough than vapers
rims spinnin like ........
you got it all give me a call
im ballin like the lakers
hey ma now i wont kiss ya
sweet heart ignore them haters
lets have some fun on the run
come on girl get this beat
Chorus
Honey
(girl sings)
i got a lot a money
(girl sings)
could you be my nasty girl and let me do that dirty dance with you
(girl sings)
mommy
(girl sings)
shake that sexy body
(girl sings)
i just want a nasty girl
now tell me is that nasty girl you
(girl..i can love you long time)
im in the escalaid
you in the navigator
you talkin dirty wanna serve me in the elevator
wanna give it to me now not later
mommys body was a dime cant hate her
what a brotha gonna do when ...girl is lookin just like jada
we hit the elevator
up corse therse always haters
but it didnt matter yo we were puttin on a show
free for yo spectators
mommy threw up like a champ
i didnt even know her name
ladys open up yo eyes cuz you better recognoise that nitty got this playa
Chorus
i gotta pick my date up
to dinner im gonna take her
last time we sexed i had her crawlin like an alligator
she just came from jamaca
the land of booty shakers
her names candy give it to her nasty
sometimes i even taste her
im here right now shes dressed up
hour glass shape lond hair and make up
lookin downtown she says i want it now and straight up
weire standing face to face
i knew right where to take her
to a privet room and a full bathroom
uh oh here comes the waiter
Chorus
east coast west coast world wide
north side south side lets ride
lets party all night
nasty girls come inside
repeat
Chorus

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQ2IoObFPX4

jezza

[Intro]
{Puke noises}
There I go...
Thinkin' of you again...

[Chorus]
You don't know how sick you make me,
You make me ****in' sick to my stomach,
Everytime I think of you I puke. {next line starts here when Em sings "puke"}
You must just not know (uououououououoh),
You may not think you do but you do,
Everytime I think of you I puke {1st verse starts when Em sings "puke" again}

[Verse 1]
I was gonna take the time to sit down and write you a little poem,
But off of the dome would probably be a little more,
More suitable for this type of song (woah).
I got a million reasons off the top of my head that I can think of,
Sixteen bars is ain't enough to put some ink to,
So **** it, I'ma start right here, I'll just be briefer,
'bout to rattle off some other reasons.
I knew I shouldn't go and get another tattoo,
Of you on my arm, but what do I go and do?
I go and get another one, now I got two (uouououououoh).
Now I'm sittin here, with your name on my skin,
I can't believe I went and did that stupid **** again,
My next grilfriend, now her name's gotta be Kim, **** (eyeyeyeyeyet).
If you only knew how much I hated you,
For every-mother****in'-thing you ever put us through,
Then I wouldn't be standin' here cryin'over you (uouououououououoh).

[Chorus]

[Verse 2]
I was gonna take the time to sit down and write you a little letter,
But I thought a song would probably be a little better,
Instead of a letter, that you probably just shred up (yeah).
I stumbled on your picture yesterday and it made stop and think of,
How much of a waste it'd be for me to put some ink to,
A stupid piece of paper, I'd rather let you see how,
Much I ****in' hate you in a freestyle.
You're a ****in' cokehead and slut I hope you ****in' die,
I hope you get to hell and satan sticks a needle in your eye,
I hate your ****in' guts, you ****in' slut I hope you die (dieieieieieieie).
But please don't get me wrong, I'm not bitter or mad,
It's not that I still love you, it's not 'cause I want you back,
It's just that when I think of you it makes me wanna yack (aeaeaeaeaeK).
But what else can I do, I haven't got a clue,
Now I guess I just move on, I have no choice but to,
But everytime I think of you now all I wanna do
Is puke (uououououououoK).

[Chorus]

[Outro]
{Puke noises again }

****in' bitch

http://www.lyriczz.com/lyriczz.php?songid=13241

Demetrius

"The indians send signals from the rocks above the pass
The cowboys take positions in the bushes and the grass
The squaw is with the corporal, she is tied against a tree
She doesn't mind the language, it's the beating she don't need
She lets loose all the horses while the corporeal is asleep
And he wakes to find the fire is dead and arrows in his hats
And Davy Crockett rides around and says it's cool for cats
It's cool for cats"

Ruu_Old

Worst lyrics goes to Madonna for this 'gem'. I Love New York. I am thinking she just sat there and thought, "hmm what rhymes with york, sleep.." etc.:(

I don't like cities
But I like new york
Other places make me feel like a dork
Los Angeles is for people who sleep
Paris and London
Baby you can keep

[Chorus]
Other cities always make me mad
Other places always make me sad
No other city ever made me glad except New York
I love New York [X3]

If you don't like my attitude
Then you can F off
Just go to Texas
Isn't that where they golf

New York is not for little pussies who scream
If you can't stand the heat
Then get off my street [repeat]

[Chorus]

I love New York [repeat]
Get off my street [repeat]

Lust4Life

I was expecting one of our older fellas to post this one...

I just don't look good naked anymore
By Ben Coulder

I stepped out of the shower
And got a good look at myself

Pot belly bald head
Man I thought it was somebody else

I caught my reflection in the mirror
On the back of the bathroom door

And I just don't look good naked anymore

So I'm going upstairs to turn The bathroom mirror to the wall
I hung it there when I was trim and tall

I'd stand there smile and strut and flex
Until my arms got sore

But I just don't look good naked anymore

Well I use to go out with the girls
I loved them one and all

Now they don't get very close to me
They're afraid that I might fall

Well, I went to the doctors
For my annual medical exam

Stood there in the buff
Suddenly he said, "Man!"

I said, "What is it Doc? Some fatal disease?
I just gotta know the score

He said, "No, you just don't look good naked anymore

Well me and my wife had a dance routine
Everybody said it was unique

Now it's only when we're back to back
That we're dancing cheek to cheek

Well I went to a nude beach for a little seaside fun
Stretched out in my birthday suit soaking up the sun

Somebody yelled, "Hey!
There's an old white whale washed up on the shore!"

I just don't look good naked anymore

Now my arches fell, my chest went to hell
And my butt's a draggin the floor

And I just don't look good naked anymore

trout

I think this is by a fella called Bobby Bear ... it is sung by place kickers on rugby teams all over Ireland, at secret training camps ... ssh!;)

Drop kick me Jesus through the goal posts of life
End over end neither left nor to right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Drop kick me Jesus through the goal posts of life.

Make me, oh make me, Lord more than I am
Make me a piece in your master game plan
Free from the earthly tempestion below
I’ve got the will, Lord if you’ve got the toe.

Drop kick me Jesus through the goal posts of life
End over end neither left nor to right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Drop kick me Jesus through the goal posts of life.

Take all the brothers who’ve gone on before
And all of the sisters who’ve knocked on your door
All the departed dear loved ones of mine
Stick’em up front in the offensive line.

Drop kick me Jesus through the goal posts of life
End over end neither left nor to right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Drop kick me Jesus through the goal posts of life.

Yeah, Drop kick me Jesus through the goal posts of life
End over end neither left nor to right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Drop kick me Jesus through the goal posts of life.

Capt'n Midnight

From Tom Lehrer's first LP, recorded on his own on January 22, 1953

Tom Lehrer wrote:

I Hold Your Hand In Mine

One more love song. I generally like to include at least one or two love songs in the evening's program, partly perhaps to convince people that even at the Harvard University Graduate School, that hotbed of celibacy that I used to call home, we did have our moments. This one is a tender ballad entitled simply I Hold Your Hand In Mine.

I hold your hand in mine, dear,
I press it to my lips.
I take a healthy bite
From your dainty fingertips.

My joy would be complete, dear,
If you were only here,
But still I keep your hand
As a precious souvenir.

The night you died I cut it off.
I really don't know why.
For now each time I kiss it
I get bloodstains on my tie.

I'm sorry now I killed you,
For our love was something fine,
And till they come to get me
I shall hold your hand in mine.

You know: of all the songs I've ever sung, that is the one I've had the most requests not to.

Jules

gotta love jack black!


K.G.: Do you think that um..dude, do you think that when the album..when this is out...

J.B.: Yeah?

KG: Do you think that we'll..it'll make us..um.. more attractive to the ladies?

JB: (psh) Yeah. In fact, i've been getting ready.

KG: Yeah?

JB: Yeah, i've been doing cock pushups.

KG: Cock pushups?

JB: Yeah.

KG: What are those?

JB: It's where you ****in' lay down flat on the ground.

KG: Yeah..

JB: And then you let your boner lift you up off the ground.

KG: Noo. No, it's..that'd be impossible. Your..your cock could support your whole weight?

JB: Well not at first.

KG: Yeah.

JB: But over time.

KG: Hmm. How..how many pushups can you do?

JB: Cock pushups?

KG: Yeah. ...I guess you could only do one, really.

JB: Yeah, one is all you need.