Love or Travel?

LegacyUser

Unregistered because blah blah....

Right here's the scenario as short as possible.

Ive gone to college for 4 years and have just finished. it has been the best 4 years of my life but Since we have graduated, 80% of my best mates have left the city (we went to college in) and have got good jobs in foreign countries and different counties etc. The problem is i want to do that too but i cant because of the one thing that binds me to this city: My beautiful Girlfriend that i love.

She has no intention of leaving home whereas i want to travel and explore (i'm only 22). This has not really bothered me unil now as my 2 best friends that i live with (and are single) are talking about going to Oz... If they leave i'll be pretty much the only one left in this city that i know apart from the love of my life of course!

stay or go?

humanji

I think the best thing to do is to talk it over with her and not have a load of strangers telling you to go for option A or option B, tbh. Let her know of your wanderlust. Maybe the two of you could head off somewhere together, maybe even for a few months or a year and then come back home?

LegacyUser

i think you should go.

there's a serious "good looking sinlge girl" deficit, in dublin at the moment.

I think you should go to Oz with your mates for the year,you wouldnt regret it.
Try to persuade your Girlfriend to go aswell.
If she wont you should still go.
Plenty of good relationships in my experience have stood that test.

Chinafoot

Yep I'd say go, definitely. It's an amazing experience and with your friends planning to go you should grasp the opportunity.

You said your friends are just talking about going, so I assume they haven't applied for visas or got the cash together yet (you need ~€3,000 in your account when you apply for a working holiday visa if I remember correctly). If this is the case then you still have plenty of time to talk to your girlfriend and see what way you want to go.

Talk to her and tell her you'd love to go and that you'd love her to go too (assuming that you do and that your mates wouldn't mind). If she doesn't want to go and you still do then you should discuss what options you have. Like is she going to come and visit for a few weeks/months if you go for a year? Are you both going to remain faithful for a year? Would it be best if you broke up while you are away and then see what happens when you come back?

If this girl is the love of your life then discuss all options with her and try and do what works best for you both. You never know, she might love the opportunity to head off somewhere for a year.

If you do go, have an amazing time and make sure you spend some time in Melbourne (far, far nicer than Sydney )

muppetkiller

GO GO GO your too young to get bogged down at home and it'll be the best thing you ever did...
And yes Mebourne is way nicer than Sydney
But discuss it with her first. I also know that traveling with your GF will also make or Break the relationship so it's a good thing too. If your meant for each other you'll have an amazing time .. If your not you'll break up and still have an amazing time..
As they say you don't know anyone (including your GF) until you've lived with them.

LegacyUser

I would say defo go, I was in same posistion but reversed, my GF had the great opertunity of going away for a year and i loved her v much and knew it ment alot to her.
Talk to your gf explain everything and tell her its what you wanted to do. She should understand you are only young after all.We broke up for the year she was away but stayed really close contact, I was never with anyone during the year cause I wanted to wait so it depends on your gf, she SHOULD understand if she doesn't then i would question if she loves you as much as her.

RDConfoosed

it's the things you dont do that you'll regret, not the things you have done. talk to your gf about it. work something out. if you are both into each other as much as you think you are it'll all work out in the end. however if you dont go and your friends do, that could cause worse problems and lead to problems in the relationship anyway.good luck with whatever you decide.

Strokesfan

Have you asked her why she can't leave? I think you should go - for definate.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

I assume the grilfrind is the same age as yourself... if not, then this is not a difference of opionin that is not going to be resolved any time soon.

If she is, then why is she so disintertested in travel...? Personally, i'd find that very limiting and, with time, boring, which is where I think is what you'r heading for too.

Ruu_Old

Go for it, there is so much to see in the world, different people and cultures. You won't regret it, have fun. Maybe go for a short trip outside Ireland may change her mind. Good luck.

LegacyUser

well firstly you should discuss it with her and go even for a little while to see if you like it or miss her alot

Now for my problem, my girlfriend posts on here too and is convinced i posted this message cos we are in a similar situation, she is utterly convinced of it, is there a way of proving it wasn't me, she wont listen to me, she is very head strong

LegacyUser

wow... looks like i should be off booking my tickets.

Thanks a lot for your replies, they have been a lot of help.
I think i would go for Oz if it really comes down it. Ill have a chat with the lads first to see if they are serious about jacking our favourite city and if they are then its time to have that 'chat' with me julie.
God, id be heartbroken (for her more than me) telling her but fup it, your only young once!
Thanks lads

Oh, and for the poster above me! Reply registered and i'll pm you or your gf if she still doesnt believe ya...

Carcharodon

Decisions! wrote:

wow... looks like i should be off booking my tickets.

Thanks a lot for your replies, they have been a lot of help.
I think i would go for Oz if it really comes down it. Ill have a chat with the lads first to see if they are serious about jacking our favourite city and if they are then its time to have that 'chat' with me julie.
God, id be heartbroken (for her more than me) telling her but fup it, your only young once!
Thanks lads

Oh, and for the poster above me! Reply registered and i'll pm you or your gf if she still doesnt believe ya...

If you could pm i would be very grateful, we seem to have extremely similar circumstances

Raphael

You don't have to break up with her y'know, it's perfectly possible to have a relationship across an ocean. The timezones are a pain in the ass, and it can get very lonely, but sticking it out for a year might be a better plan than breaking up with the love of your life. Think you need to talk it over with her.

Black Swan

Talk with her about it. There also may be room for a compromise? Get a job that involves travel, but keep your home in Ireland? Ran into a software installer/trainer for SAAP while flying someplace, and that's what they did. There are several occupations that require travel. You might what to check them out?

free2fly

Talk to her and see if there is some kind of compromise that can be made. If you don't do it at this point in your life you may regret it later.

mel123

Ikky Poo2 wrote:

If she is, then why is she so disintertested in travel...? Personally, i'd find that very limiting and, with time, boring, which is where I think is what you'r heading for too.

Not everyone is interested in travelling, some people really just have no interest. Im in the same situation, kind of, as the OP. I have itchy feet, he doesnt, we are with each other years and years....now its even harder for me to go. He has a good job, dont really blame him for not wanting to come with me, its very well paid and if he went off he couldnt take up the position when he came back, so I think it would be unfair to 'make' him come with me. Years ago when my friends were going i didnt go, probably if i am honest because of him, and now im seriously considering going on my own, even just for a couple of months. I think if i dont get it out of my system I will live to regret it, but at the same token i am scared of going on my own....and of course i will miss himself.
Moral of the story, if u want to go go, if its meant to be with ur girlf then things will pick up where u left off when u get back!!!