Reinvigorating the LGB boards

Annasopra

I've noticed lately these boards tend to be people moaning a lot or else people being narky and sarky

There's a very negative atmosphere on the LGB boards

Stark said we need new blood and I agree - but we also need older more mature members to be a bit more welcoming

any thoughts?

Nevyn

Why not start a I knew I was gay/bi when thread ?

damien

You're right JMcG.

snappieT

Was that a sincere comment from damien!

*shocked*

*wets self*

Sangre

Bunch of queens!

abetarrush

Well the reason for the negative atmosphere IMHO is that a lot of people on you're part werent very open to the straight guys opinions

there was more of a reflex attack as defense, that turned into many rants and fights

So, what im tryin to say is that this forum needs more beer & bitches

for everyone!


Also, are you concerned about the atmosphere solely, or the activity of this forum? In fairness, theres only so many gay related threads you can keep goin

Goodshape

abetarrush wrote:

Well the reason for the negative atmosphere IMHO is that a lot of people on you're part werent very open to the straight guys opinions

there was more of a reflex attack as defense, that turned into many rants and fights

So, what im tryin to say is that this forum needs more beer & bitches

for everyone!


Also, are you concerned about the atmosphere solely, or the activity of this forum? In fairness, theres only so many gay related threads you can keep goin

You give yourself way too much credit. IMHO, people haven't been very open to YOUR opinions because you generally talk a lot of bollox in an often obvious attempt to get a reaction from 'us lot'.

Believe it or not, you aren't the first straight person to post in this forum. 'We' actually manage to get along quite well with some of them :eek:

Why you personally feel the need to hang around the GLB forum is beyond me.

Stephanos

Goodshape wrote:

You give yourself way too much credit. IMHO, people haven't been very open to YOUR opinions because you generally talk a lot of bollox in an often obvious attempt to get a reaction from 'us lot'.

Believe it or not, you aren't the first straight person to post in this forum. 'We' actually manage to get along quite well with some of them :eek:

Why you personally feel the need to hang around the GLB forum is beyond me.

Well done - promote the open, friendly atmosphere!

Hmm_Messiah

Stephanos wrote:

Well done - promote the open, friendly atmosphere!

Stephanos - people choose their friends, they involve themselves more with people that they enjoy, or are attracted to or are otherwise interested in. There is no compulsion to "be friendly" with people who don't really want it, and who , from their attitude and statements, don't deserve it.

"

Well the reason for the negative atmosphere IMHO is that a lot of people on you're part werent very open to the straight guys opinions"

You don't really offend people on this forum - I guess our brains hurts to see some one so mindbogglingly ignorant. When people react to you its out of boredom, no-one on this form no longer values your contribution enough to react against it .

If you do insist on offering contributions no one is interested in you might try informing your mind, developing some interpersonal skills, or even just develop an awareness of where you are not wanted - maybe its such a fimilar situation you've become desensitised to it.


Regarding the OP I think in general people here are very welcoming to new posters etc. Some people enjoy a bit of narkiness or negativity. I think any serious issue has been dealt with seriously. It is true that some times people's reactions a bit cutting etc. Its hard sometimes to distinguish how serious people are - tone is lost in text.

Where people's opinion/belief is criticised I think thats often a good thing -rigorous debate can be helpful . Most often I react to very naive or un-informed posts. The alternative would be to say "Ah he's young he'll learn". Is it not better to learn from your peers, or indeed have the opportunity to surprise them with your knowledge ?

I have shortened the time between starting work and coffee.

Lots of love dahlings.

Hmm_Messiah

Alternatively (<-gay community pun)
We could have a forum orgy .
The can release a lot of tension and be reinvigorating
(allegedly)

could also be useds as a welcoming recption for those new /& straight posters

Stephanos

Hmm_Messiah wrote:

Stephanos - people choose their friends, they involve themselves more with people that they enjoy, or are attracted to or are otherwise interested in. There is no compulsion to "be friendly" with people who don't really want it, and who , from their attitude and statements, don't deserve it.

"

You don't really offend people on this forum - I guess our brains hurts to see some one so mindbogglingly ignorant. When people react to you its out of boredom, no-one on this form no longer values your contribution enough to react against it .

If you do insist on offering contributions no one is interested in you might try informing your mind, developing some interpersonal skills, or even just develop an awareness of where you are not wanted - maybe its such a fimilar situation you've become desensitised to it.


Regarding the OP I think in general people here are very welcoming to new posters etc. Some people enjoy a bit of narkiness or negativity. I think any serious issue has been dealt with seriously. It is true that some times people's reactions a bit cutting etc. Its hard sometimes to distinguish how serious people are - tone is lost in text.

Where people's opinion/belief is criticised I think thats often a good thing -rigorous debate can be helpful . Most often I react to very naive or un-informed posts. The alternative would be to say "Ah he's young he'll learn". Is it not better to learn from your peers, or indeed have the opportunity to surprise them with your knowledge ?

I have shortened the time between starting work and coffee.

Lots of love dahlings.

Oh it is so decent of you to take it upon yourself to shoot down the naive, uninformed and foolish. Is this a public service you provide? I am picturing you preaching this from a pulpit. So what if someone comes across ill informed? It is possible to correct them and give them your opinion without belittling them in a condescending manner. If you need an example refer to the above.

Stark

I'm with Stephanos on this one.

This thread is a perfect example of how one can start off with a reasonable thread subject and have the whole thing descend into a rant.

Goodshape wrote:

Why you personally feel the need to hang around the GLB forum is beyond me.

Let's try to get away from attitudes like "What are you doing on an LGB forum in the first place?". I understand where you're coming from as regards "will the trolls ever **** off", but to the many people who silently view these threads, that sort of comment sents out a "you're not welcome" message to anyone who hasn't signed up and bought the gay membership card.

We aren't a standalone LGB forum, we're a subforum of the larger boards.ie forums and as such, we depend on the main boards to supply us with members to a degree. We don't need a bouncer at the door saying "You know what kind of place this is right?". Not only do we miss out on the extra traffic to keep the forum buzzing, but it's also off-putting to someone who is just coming to terms with their sexuality but hasn't identified as LGB yet.

Stephanos

I am speaking from the heart on this one. There are so many time I read posts and you just feel like telling some of the regulars to "save it". This place does not have the traffic it should. There is rarely any light hearted banter on it unless it is between the regulars.

Take a step back and let people say what they want to say. If some are knit wits, ignorant, naive then so what? What harm does it do to you? Have your say in a constructive manner but don't chase them away with fiery torches.

Hmm_Messiah

Stephanos wrote:

Take a step back and let people say what they want to say.

Can't you see you yourself are qualifying that though? So it means "say what you want to say -once its not critical, or sarcastic, or heated or passionate"

You are at the one time inviting people to say what they want and not to say what they want.

Btw my other post was no way meant to be condescending to you; perhaps you misread my attempt to explain why some people get very heated over some posts without blatantly saying they are responding to morons or bigots, which in the most part they are.

all the "preaching from the pulpit stuff" is a bit cliched but sure go with it. And I never once mentioned shooting down the naive or foolish, that is fact is a case of your unwarranted over the top criticism - you might want to look at that log in your eye before commenting on the splinters in others ( a biblical reference because you seem to like them ).

A forum by definition involves open discussion. It is intended to inform, sorry if that offends you. Damien.m continues with occasionally groundless taunts but I don't go whining in a corner - we occasionally have constructive "conversations" and even agree!

The reason there are less light hearted topics etc. is because of the forum name; most of those topics would happily sit under personal issues/ after hours etc and thats where they are found.

As for light hearted banter - I see threads sprinkled with banter, sometimes its all depends om interpretation.

The idea that some references might seem unwelcoming to the silent casual viewer first off makes presumptions about those people's ability to discern the difference between a reaction to an individual/topic and to people in general. Surely if they can distinguish the difference in real world they might manage in a net forum ? Otherwise the suggestion seems to be "be careful what you say- not because of how who you are directing it to might react, but how some other person who may or may not be reading it might"

It is possible to say " your post comes across as if your saying ....." for some one to respond " sorry that was not what I meant, I was trying to say...."

Stephanos

@ hmm_messiah

You say it wasn't condescending but then you consider yourself worthy of deeming people "mind bogglingly ignorant". This to me is condescending.

That statement "take a step back" was directed at the regulars more so than the other users. I have no issues with my over the top criticism because you are one of the users I feel makes this forum unwelcoming. I have read so many of your postings to know that your over-analytical reply is pretty much typical.

The charter of this forum does not set out what this forum is actually for. It appears to be a home for all things gay and slightly gay. There are individuals out there who are not as comfortable with their sexuality as I and others are. This forum might be the first step of many towards coming out. With that in mind I think holding back on non-constructive comments goes towards a much greater good than facilitating freedom of speech.

Stark

Hmm_messiah wrote:

Can't you see you yourself are qualifying that though? So it means "say what you want to say -once its not critical, or sarcastic, or heated or passionate"

You are at the one time inviting people to say what they want and not to say what they want.

There is no such thing as absolute freedom of speech, however giving users some space to air opinions goes a long way. It's one thing to want to shout down trolls or whatever, but on many occasion I've seen posters including yourself fixate on one tiny little error in a poster's post rather than give the poster some benefit of the doubt. The worst examples of this are when a current line of thinking is fashionable and any poster who isn't up to speed/disagrees with the latest in "queer theory" is put down. It's bad enough when the trolls are peddling opinions and theories as fact.

Stephanos

Stark wrote:

There is no such thing as absolute freedom of speech, however giving users some space to air opinions goes a long way. It's one thing to want to shout down trolls or whatever, but on many occasion I've seen posters including yourself fixate on one tiny little error in a poster's post rather than give the poster some benefit of the doubt. The worst examples of this are when a current line of thinking is fashionable and any poster who isn't up to speed/disagrees with the latest in "queer theory" is put down. It's bad enough when the trolls are peddling opinions and theories as fact.

Here here! I couldn't agree more. I have never agreed more with anything in this forum.

Hmm_Messiah

You say it wasn't condescending but then you consider yourself worthy of deeming people "mind bogglingly ignorant". This to me is condescending.

I'll try this once more then leave you to your unique ability to interpret what people says as it suits you. I said i was not being condescending to you! If you have not found the mind-boggling ignorant people on here you you must be blind. I used the phrase because you first said I was condescending, when I choose straight speaking you still call it condescending. Do you know what the word means ?

That statement "take a step back" was directed at the regulars more so than the other users.

It doesn't matter who you directed to, you basically argued for people to be let say what they want by suggesting others should not say what they want. Not very logical.

because you are one of the users I feel makes this forum unwelcoming.

That is unfortunate. There are a number of others who appreciate my "contribution" either within the threads of in PM. So who to please ?? Oh maybe the forum is not about pleasing people.

I have read so many of your postings to know that your over-analytical reply is pretty much typical.

I'd suggest you stop reading them. As for over-analytical - I usually post when dodging work and am only giving a response to what I read. If anything the threads are usually under-analylised.

This forum might be the first step of many towards coming out. With that in mind I think holding back on non-constructive comments goes towards a much greater good than facilitating freedom of speech

That's an individual judgement call on which is the more fundamental right/the greater good. What about all the people who come out because suddenly this forum becomes a place of welcome/encouragement/light hearted banter only to realise the wourld OUTside is different?

Stephanos

I am bowing out of this one. I feel it is completely pointless. I don't have the time or motivation. I just hope some thought is given to some of the earlier content.

Hmm_Messiah

Stark wrote:

but on many occasion I've seen posters including yourself fixate on one tiny little error in a poster's post rather than give the poster some benefit of the doubt. The worst examples of this are when a current line of thinking is fashionable and any poster who isn't up to speed/disagrees with the latest in "queer theory" is put down. It's bad enough when the trolls are peddling opinions and theories as fact.

I'd be interested in seeing when I've ever fixated on one tiny little error by any one. I don't know any of these people on the forum- there opinions are not that important for me to fixate on. Furthermore I type poorly and often have terrible misspellings or use the wrong word without even noticing - so I'm not going to zone in one some one else doing the same. I work with literacy students who often fixate on others weaknesses, strangely - I think maybe trying to re-assure themselves that they are "not as bad" as some other. Being so aware of the tendency I'm surrprised that you see it in me.

I would readily admit to fixating on people who speak of gayness with some religious/other premise they are adamant is true. I react to ideas that the bible says being gay is wrong for example. I'd thought my reaction to same would if anything be encouraging to these nameless readers on the verge of coming out etc.

I've no idea what you mean regarding current lines of thinking being fashionable etc - other than to say I've never peddled anything as other than my opinion. If I am right you would argue for people having opinions and being allowed express them ??

Some might even comment that your signature contribute to the "atmosphere of hostility" that people are bemoaning.

What you and others seem to dislike is my "style" of contributing. Thats fine. That you would want it to change seems a little hypocritical in a thread suggesting casual readers should be made feel more welcome, indeed encouraged to come out - isn't a big issue with coming out etc not feeling you have to change or act different ?

Stephanos

Lets not make this discussion descend into what we have been criticising. Lock it lock it!

Vinnie69

Johnnymcg wrote:

I've noticed lately these boards tend to be people moaning a lot or else people being narky and sarky

There's a very negative atmosphere on the LGB boards

Stark said we need new blood and I agree - but we also need older more mature members to be a bit more welcoming

any thoughts?

I'm new blood !! and I reckon that my partner and I have been together longer, than before most of you were born. As for maturity, you either have it or you don't, no matter what age you are!

I will stick my neck out here and make a suggestion: Check out other people's postings and see what kind of person (thoughts-wise)they are before attacking them over some piddling little word or other

LOL to Stark and Stephanos You're sound men!

Stephanos

Woohoo Kudos!

Right back at you Vinnie

abetarrush

Stephanos wrote:

Woohoo Kudos!

Right back at you Vinnie

Cheers Stephanos, you actually understand some of us

Im sure the comment about being "mind-bogglingly ignorant" and "ill-informed" were aimed at me. Fair enough, my gay IQ aint up to scratch

I never start postin here to say I was right and you were wrong, I came to gave my opinion, and thats what I did. And even though i never meant to be offensive, im sure some of my posts came across that way, so, sorry abt that

But if someone posts somethin that offends you, you dont have to go callin them ignorant or ill-informed

GoodShape wrote:

Why you personally feel the need to hang around the GLB forum is beyond me.

So I should do what im told to and fvck off for being stupid, without explainin my side?

And I dont hang around here, I use the whole forum, can I not do that? Just because you're not that understandin doesnt mean the rest arent.

You're agreein there should be more people here [Incl Straight], but you just said I [straight guy]dont have a reason to be here, so, you work that one out

Sangre

I think some of the regulars here have trouble accepting that you can have a fully informed, well educated point of view that they totally disagree with.

Stephanos

I'm not sure I want popular opinion on my side -- I've noticed those with the most opinions often have the fewest facts.

Bethania McKenstry

Goodshape

Stephanos wrote:

Well done - promote the open, friendly atmosphere!

Stark wrote:

Let's try to get away from attitudes like "What are you doing on an LGB forum in the first place?". I understand where you're coming from as regards "will the trolls ever **** off", but to the many people who silently view these threads, that sort of comment sents out a "you're not welcome" message to anyone who hasn't signed up and bought the gay membership card.

Yes, yes, I'm sorry . It just seems to me (based on his other posts more than this one, I suppose) that abetarrush is largely unwilling to learn and yet all too eager to comment, something which I don't like seeing in any conversation.

His black-and-white 'us' and 'them' attitude also gets under my skin.

abetarrush wrote:

You're agreein there should be more people here [Incl Straight], but you just said I [straight guy]dont have a reason to be here, so, you work that one out

I wasn't referring to you[straight guy], just you. And, also, not that you don't have a reason, just that I question whether or not your reasons include contributing anything worthwhile. I'm perfectly willing to be proven wrong.

Stephanos

Goodshape wrote:

Yes, yes, I'm sorry . It just seems to me (based on his other posts more than this one, I suppose) that abetarrush is largely unwilling to learn and yet all too eager to comment, something which I don't like seeing in any conversation.

He did apologise for it. I think that might constitute some form of learning.

Nobody's opinion is more relevant than anyone elses irrespective of their age, experience (in life?), duration of membership on boards etc. Lets just all try to be nice (!!!!!) and welcoming.

Vinnie69

Right ! Now where do we go from here? Heads together lads... lets start up with a few new threads with positive themes.