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proposing to boyfriend

  • 11-09-2006 12:08pm
    #1
    pajos55
    Closed Accounts Posts: 47 ✭


    Looking for advice/suggestions..

    Seeing my boyfriend now for a good few years, totally in love, bought a house together, we have discussed getting married and are both well up for it but haven't yet made it official. Well his birthday's coming up and i was thinking of popping the question over a romantic meal. However he is really not into jewellery and there is no point in giving him a ring or some other piece of jewellery as he won't wear them. He may not even wear a wedding ring.

    So any ideas for a symbolic item to take the place of a ring?

    Also what are people's feelings on the girl proposing to the boy? I am certain that he wants us to get married so that's not the issue but would it be kind of mean to steal his thunder? we are both very relaxed about the whole getting engaged bit and not in any rush, but at the same time we do both want to and i thought it would be sweet to do the asking. thoughts?


Comments

  • #2
    iguana
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,917 ✭✭✭✭iguana


    If you feel confident that he will say yes, then go for it. However I would have hated to have been proposed to on my birthday or christmas. I much prefer the idea of making an ordinary day special, rather than cluttering up my birthday.;)

    When we decided to get married, I wasn't pushed about getting a ring and I thought it was unfair that I'd get a present and he wouldn't. So he got an iPod and I got an iBook. (I wonder if we contacted apple and let them know would they throw in a free speaker system or something :D )


  • #3
    BeardyGit
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,946 ✭✭✭BeardyGit


    pajos55 wrote:
    Looking for advice/suggestions..

    ....Also what are people's feelings on the girl proposing to the boy? I am certain that he wants us to get married so that's not the issue but would it be kind of mean to steal his thunder? we are both very relaxed about the whole getting engaged bit and not in any rush, but at the same time we do both want to and i thought it would be sweet to do the asking. thoughts?

    I'm a little bit old-fashioned when it comes to certain traditions despite my otherwise 'modern' approach to life events etc. I think it's perfectly okay for you to perhaps up the ante with the boyfriend, clearly letting him know you want to get engaged and that maybe he could consider it etc. Perhaps discuss whether or not you'd like him to ask your parents when the time comes to actually get engaged. You can use it as an opportunity to make your desires known and actually find out what he thinks.

    As tempting as it may be to get going on this I'd suggest you leave him the opportunity to actually follow through on traditions that are still valued by very many of us still - I've discussed this at great length with several of my friends recently. Each one of us agreed that we'd want to ask the parents for permission to marry their daughter for example. Won't work for everyone I know but for us we saw it as an honourable step to take, something that shows you are respectful and considerate of their opinion.

    I hope that makes sense? On the whole ring for the guy thing, I wouldn't appreciate it one bit although I know in Finland for example, the couple give each other an engagement ring but only the bride gets a wedding ring during the marriage ceremony. If you want to both have something to keep to remember your commitment to marry, get him a watch perhaps. That's quite common these days and is a little more suitable than an engagement ring.

    I know I'm old fashioned but there are thousands of us out here when it comes to tradition.

    Cheerio,

    Gil


  • #4
    pajos55
    Closed Accounts Posts: 47 ✭pajos55


    Thanks for the reply. I do see where you're coming from. It is tempting but maybe it's best to stick with tradition. I know my parents would certainly appreciate him asking their permission to ask me. It's not really about upping the ante either, we've been discussing it for ages but it's only the last year or two i feel ready to go ahead and do it - so it's not like i wanted to ask him cos i'm sick of waiting for him to ask me, if you know what i mean. We are both decided that it is what we want to do, just hasn't been made official yet.

    Maybe in years to come it might be nice to look back and remember a traditional engagement. The ring for the guy thing i definitely don't like, may be for some people but i would feel like a pleb handing it over and so would he.


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