do you think this is rude?

bacon?

a good friend of mine likes to read. he's seldom without a book.

if we get on a bus or train together, he'll pull out his book and start reading.

personally i think this is a bit rude.

i'm thinking i should say somthing, i shouldn't have to, i don't want to make a big "thing" about it though.

do you think this behavour is rude?

c - 13

Personally I think that it would be only if you were in conversation which was cut short by said book.
If you had been sitting there is silence for a period of time, then I see no problem.
Thats just me though.

bacon?

c - 13 wrote:

Personally I think that it would be only if you were in conversation which was cut short by said book.
If you had been sitting there is silence for a period of time, then I see no problem.
Thats just me though.

it wasn't in mid conversation, no. hmm, still, i wouldn't do it.

oRlyYaRly

It's not rude. You weren't engaging him at the time and he found another way to amuse himself as oppose to bore himself on the bus. If someone does it when you're chatting it's rude.

irishguy00

Hmmmmm. I had to think about that one but have come to a conclusion:

Yes it is rude. I think it is so because while he is reading said book, it eliminates any possibility of striking up conversation. This, in turn, is very rude.

If you were planning to get on a train/bus together, thus planning to converse, he shouldn't have brought any reading material.

Thats my two cents anyway...:)

Ruu_Old

I don't think its rude, I know a few people like this so I worry about it too much. Is your friend the chatty type or would rather just be with his own thoughts? If they did so in the middle of a conversation, then that would be a bit odd.

ant.lei

I wouldn't say it's rude. But I think your friend should give you more attention. Maybe I am just an attention seeker. I guess it's OK when you are having a long journey, a two-hour conversation could be tedious.

A bit OT, it really annoys me if my friend starts listening to ipod when we are walking on the street say, it's just blatantly telling me I'm boring. I will have to speak louder as well. What's the point.

GenericName

I know some people who do that. I don't myself but, if the train journey is a commute to/from work or college it's fair. I think for a lot of people, last thing they want to do is make converstion.

But if it's a casual trip to town and it's only the pair of you then I'd consider that a bit rude. Not as bad as popping in some headphones and staring out the window though!

takola

I don't think it's rude. I do it. I either have my mp3 player or a book or something! I hate having to talk on a bus or train though. I end up feeling sick or getting a headache. And I do tend to go off into my own wee world when I'm travelling. I hate people who constantly need to be talking! That's just me though

SpAcEd OuT

ant.lei wrote:

A bit OT, it really annoys me if my friend starts listening to ipod when we are walking on the street say, it's just blatantly telling me I'm boring. I will have to speak louder as well. What's the point.

jesus now that is rude i'd give my mate a slap if he did that to me

theTinker

I can see how it could be felt as rude to YOU+"other people", but from your friends view(and mine as i love to read) its just sumthing he likes to do alot and should be allowed. As u said he seldom is without a book so its obviously a genuine hobby and not something he thinks is rude. Similar to making a phone call or texting when u are with him. If he does it while u are already engaged in conversation and makes it look like u are disturbing his book, Thats rude. If u are just gonna sit in silence then its not.

Though regardless of its level of rudeness, If it bothers u then as a friend u can say something small like "can you read a little less when we are together? I feel like im in the way of ur book or (sumthing more manly)"
that should at least let him know its a concern without blowing it into a big thing.

R0ot

Well you'll see a load of people with mp3 players doing the same thing, If someone starts talking to me Ill turn off the mp3 player and reciprocate, I don't think its rude to read a book while on a journey, as sometimes conversations can just die and theres that damn akward silence.

iFight

Yea, Id consider it rude, unless both of you had something to do of course.

EOA_Mushy

My brother does this too. It gets up a few peoples noses but all you have to do is strike the conversation up any how. If its intresting the book will disapear.

Not every one takes public transport in the same way.

Webmonkey

You think it is rude inside a bar on a night out to take a book out? My sisters friend done this one night when they were all having a conversation. I thought this was a bit rude

_patchouli

bacon? wrote:

a good friend of mine likes to read. he's seldom without a book.

if we get on a bus or train together, he'll pull out his book and start reading.

personally i think this is a bit rude.

i'm thinking i should say somthing, i shouldn't have to, i don't want to make a big "thing" about it though.

do you think this behavour is rude?

Unless - as others have said it was in mid-conversation - I wouldn't find this rude at all.
Why have him as a friend if you don't like the guy

Demetrius

Webmonkey wrote:

You think it is rude inside a bar on a night out to take a book out? My sisters friend done this one night when they were all having a conversation. I thought this was a bit rude

That is rude!

On a train, in a bus or on your own, it's grand. It shouldn't bother people. Most rarely exchange a civil word with the person sitting next to them anyway.

bluto63

No, I think if you're on a long journey it's expected to have something to read. I wouldn't consider it rude at all

ant.lei wrote:

A bit OT, it really annoys me if my friend starts listening to ipod when we are walking on the street say, it's just blatantly telling me I'm boring. I will have to speak louder as well. What's the point.

I do this and so do a few of my friends. I don't mind it, also others don't seem to mind it. As long as it doesn't interfer the conversation then it shouldn't matter. Like the other day I had to keep asking my friend to repeat himself so I turned it off.

bounty

i prefer less conversation

some people never shut up

Blush_01

bacon? wrote:

a good friend of mine likes to read. he's seldom without a book.

if we get on a bus or train together, he'll pull out his book and start reading.

personally i think this is a bit rude.

i'm thinking i should say somthing, i shouldn't have to, i don't want to make a big "thing" about it though.

do you think this behavour is rude?

I love to read while I'm travelling, but if I'm travelling with someone, the book won't open until our conversation has been exhausted, or they fall asleep. I'd consider it the height of rudeness to blank someone I was travelling with like that. I also have dodgy hearing (unfortunately not dodgy enough for anything to be done about it - sucks!) and hate talking to someone while they listen to music. It's a real signal that they don't want to engage in the conversation as far as I'm concerned - I use it as a way of getting out of talking to randomers who want to tell you their life story on long journey myself.

Tar.Aldarion

I don't think it is rude, n it doesn't rule out conversation. If you want a conversation say something to them. I read and listen to music travelling. I'll talk if I want to, and if teh other person does.

Black Swan

Well, if your book reading friend ignores you should you speak to him/her, then perhaps you have a point. But if you both are traveling in silence, then I don't think so.

WhiteWashMan

when people take out their phones and start texting, thats rude as far as im concerned.
i dont think readin is rude personally, unless you in the middle of a chat.

in fact, its no different than reading a magazine or a newspaper,and people buy those to read on journeys all the time.

Miss Fluff

No it's not at all rude. You're not one of those HUGELY ANNOYING people that feels this compulsion to whitter on constantly and can't bear the sound of silence are you?:rolleyes:

cournioni

I think you are just jealous because you didn't have a book or forgot to bring one to read and he had his.

Next time, bring a book or an mp3 player with you...

Irish Halo

bluto63 wrote:

ant.lei wrote:

A bit OT, it really annoys me if my friend starts listening to ipod when we are walking on the street say, it's just blatantly telling me I'm boring. I will have to speak louder as well. What's the point.

I do this and so do a few of my friends. I don't mind it, also others don't seem to mind it. As long as it doesn't interfer the conversation then it shouldn't matter. Like the other day I had to keep asking my friend to repeat himself so I turned it off.

I don't think it's rude to read when you're on public transport with people, when I was living at home travelling to Lusk the hour on the bus was too much without a book or MP3 player and I also tend to zone out when travelling.

But if one of my friends was listening to a DAP while we were walking down the street talking? If it was an Apple device iPoo would be a good description. We are having a conversation, I am not talking while you wait to speak we are actually engaging with each other so turn off the music.

bacon?

_patchouli wrote:

Unless - as others have said it was in mid-conversation - I wouldn't find this rude at all.
Why have him as a friend if you don't like the guy

i never said i didn't like the guy

bacon?

Miss Fluff wrote:

No it's not at all rude. You're not one of those HUGELY ANNOYING people that feels this compulsion to whitter on constantly and can't bear the sound of silence are you?:rolleyes:

no

bacon?

some interesting points there.

if it was a long train/bus journey, then this wouldn't be an issue at all. i'm talking about a 15/20 min journey.

the reason i wouldn't do it is, it gives a perception to other people around you that you're mate is boring. i think that's a bit disrespectful.

plus it eliminates the chance of making conversation.

chump

I wouldn't have a problem with it. Especially if I travelled with the same person on a regular basis.
Sometimes people just aren't in the mood to talk, particularly on a busy bus/train first thing in the morning.
GET OVER YOURSELF PAL

greenkittie

I HATE people doing this. I love reading but see it as a private thing and certainly not something you do when you agree to spend time with someone.
Half of the people who get books out in public are doing it to show off anyway.

bacon?

chump wrote:

I wouldn't have a problem with it. Especially if I travelled with the same person on a regular basis.
Sometimes people just aren't in the mood to talk, particularly on a busy bus/train first thing in the morning.
GET OVER YOURSELF PAL

don't call me pal.

Terry

WhiteWashMan wrote:

when people take out their phones and start texting, thats rude as far as im concerned.
i dont think readin is rude personally, unless you in the middle of a chat.

in fact, its no different than reading a magazine or a newspaper,and people buy those to read on journeys all the time.

totally agree here.
even a polite "excuse me for a minute, please. i just have to send a text message" would be nice.
some people seem to be ruled by their mobile phones.
to quote the great Bill Shatner "would you people...just...get a...life".

as for the book thing. well, politeness comes into play here again.
"hey, bob. would you mind if i read this book? bus journeys really piss me off and this keeps me distracted" or something to that effect.

seamus

Depends on the circumstances. On a long journey, there's nothing wrong with a book or an mp3 player. I don't expect anyone to speak to me for the entire duration of a journey, and I would get irritated by someone who felt the need to fill a two hour journey with non-stop talking.

For shorter journeys (say on a bus or something), a book would still be OK, because you can still engage them in conversation if needs be. An mp3 player is completely rude, especially walking down the street. It's basically two fingers to you saying "You bore me, piss off".

DonkeyStyle \o/

WhiteWashMan wrote:

when people take out their phones and start texting, thats rude as far as im concerned.

Yes, especially when they continue the conversation while texting... only sparing you the barest amount of brain power required to keep the conversation going.
Responding with "hmm? oh yeah... well...".
Do me a favour and stop talking to me until you're done texting... don't treat me like I'm a distraction.

Dun laoire

I always read the paper on the bus in the mornings when myself and my mate are on the way to work. He's an asshole though

Ickle Magoo

I love reading & always have a book handy when on the train, plane, etc but I don't start reading until any conversation with my company has come to a natural end & then I ask if they mind if I read...

Agreeing to share transport with someone then intentionally ignoring them in favour of a book/mobile/text session/whatever is definately rude imo.

Terry

Ickle Magoo wrote:

I love reading & always have a book handy when on the train, plane, etc but I don't start reading until any conversation with my company has come to a natural end & then I ask if they mind if I read...

Agreeing to share transport with someone then intentionally ignoring them in favour of a book/mobile/text session/whatever is definately rude imo.

that shouldn't even be a phrase. at least not one that relates to social interaction. whatever about getting a message and excusing yourself to read it and possibly respond. there is no excuse for getting into a "text session" (new phrase courtesy of Ickle Magoo) when you are in company.
just make a damn call and sort it out in a 2 minute call, instead of spending all night texting back and forth.

ANarcho-Munk

The question I have to ask when people start texting in front of me is would I be the one they were texting if I wasn't around?

Whenever I see one of my freinds listening to an ipod WHILE i'm trying to have a conversation with them I think to myself am I really deserving of their time.

Some people are like cyborgs they never take their earphones out of their ears!!!!!!

chump

bacon? wrote:

don't call me pal.

sorry bud

Nehpets

chump wrote:

sorry bud

lol.

On a short bus journey the book thing IS rude. So are MP3 players, esp when walking .. even if they only have one ear peice in:rolleyes:

The texting is the worst though. What's the point in talking to someone that is talking to someone else about something probably unrelated

The Gentleman

If conversation has dried up asking if your companion minds is the correct thing to do but phones are a different matter altogether. People don't seem to understand that phones are simply a way of communicating with another person. If I am talking to someone I will not turn away in the middle of a sentence, or conversation, to talk to someone else beside me. Likewise I will not answer the phone, or text, if I am in the middle of a conversation.

If someone texts or answers the phone while talking to you then you have to ask yourself if that person is worth being with as they are showing an utter lack of respect for you.

If you were talking to someone and they turned away from you and started talking to another person you would, rightly, feel degraded and no prizes are being awarded for guessing what you would do next.

Mm, generally if I'm talking to someone and I get a text I try and ignore it or if I think it's important I'll apologise and check it as quickly as I can, and again skip replying unless I have to.

bluto63

bacon? wrote:

if it was a long train/bus journey, then this wouldn't be an issue at all. i'm talking about a 15/20 min journey.

Then I would consider it rude. You should be able to carry out a conversation with someone for 20mins, even if there are gaps in between without talking.

Pigman II

No your friend is not rude. I think people talking on a bus is rude. Shut the hell up on the bus and give the heads of the rest of us some peace.

The Gentleman

Can you imagine a world where people did not talk when on buses? I can and it sure scares the hell out of me. People chatting together when on buses is great.

seinstein

hmm...I've read about 70% of the posts and the thoughts of this being rude
seems to be pretty even.
At the beginning I thougt it not to be rude but as I read on, my view started to change. I especially fellt that the ipod while walking was very rude.
But if you feel like you're friend is ignoring you and you aren't prepared to challenge them about it, it just proves that you're not really bothered by it as much as you say you are...:cool:

Well at least that's my opinion anyway.:D

Sangre

The Gentleman wrote:

If someone texts or answers the phone while talking to you then you have to ask yourself if that person is worth being with as they are showing an utter lack of respect for you.

Answering the phone? Get a grip.

bluto63

The Gentleman wrote:

Can you imagine a world where people did not talk when on buses? I can and it sure scares the hell out of me. People chatting together when on buses is great.

It's grand as long as it isn't about 10 drunk 16 year olds. They piss me off the most(although I have been those groups before...:o )

Ruu_Old

The Gentleman wrote:

Can you imagine a world where people did not talk when on buses? I can and it sure scares the hell out of me. People chatting together when on buses is great.

It is how everyone catches up with the latest episide of Fair City, Emmerdale and all the others without having to watch the telly.

Sarky

bluewolf wrote:

Mm, generally if I'm talking to someone and I get a text I try and ignore it or if I think it's important I'll apologise and check it as quickly as I can, and again skip replying unless I have to.

Is this why you never reply to my text messages? You must be really busy every day, I send dozens of the things and you never respond!