Friends or More

Redlancer

In July 2005 I met a girl at a local nightclub who was actually renting just down the road from me. We were getting on well and after a few days I asked her out, the relationship lasted about 15 days and the reason was mainly because I couldnt believe she had said yes to a relationship in the first. Although she did make an excuse at the time of an age gap.

However we this got on very well and she would usually ask me down at least once a week for a chat. I always hoped we could get back together cause I really liked her. Around christmas last year I realised this would never happen but still remained very good friends. She recently moved back with her parents until she moves into a new apartment she has purchased thus I have not seen her that much over the last 4 months. In this time I have met her about 5 times.

During this time I met a girl and was in a relationship with her and it was going great. She was delighted for me and we had a big chat. My relationship has since gone by the wayside.

Last saturday my friend asked me out for a drink and I said why not. So we met up just the too of us and ended up in a club where I actually dumped into a few friends. I have a match coming up so told her she could drink if she wanted and id drop her home. During the night a guy was trying it on with her and she told him she would rather spend her time with me.

At the end of he night she held my hand as we walked to the car and told me how great I was blah blah cheered her up and I always do, how I dont make judgements etc. I was dropping her back anyway and she said I could stay the night if I wanted. I said no it was ok because I had training in the morning. She then leaned across and for a moment thought about kissing me but then just kissed me on the cheek, it was all a bit uneasy. She then text me when I was on the way home thanking me for everything.

Could we have been more than friends? Am I too slow? Would I wreck our friendship?

Trinity

It may have been just the drink, she obviously cares about you as a friend and values your friendship.

I've seen too many chances going by over this kind of thing. Both people are afraid to make the first move so no-one knows how the other feels.

Perhaps the best thing to do is communicate and get it all out in the open.

tbh

to be honest with ya man, I think the best thing in the world you could have done was to say no - for whatever reason. If she was just drunk, she'll be grateful to you that you didn't take advantage (for whatever reason) and respect you. If she really does want you, saying no just made her want you more. You sly old fox you. Training. I must remember that one

anyway, I noticed that you said you couldn't believe that she said yes in the first place. Is there a bit of an "out of my league" thing there? If thats the case, then my advice to you - from having been there myself - is to remember the fact that she's already said yes, so she likes you for the person you were when you asked her out. Doubt like that can eat and eat at you 'till you cut it out at what you think is the source. If you find yourself thinking along those lines, physically stop yourself, and keep doing it, with positive reinforcement. Don't let it become a big deal - I did*



*Everything worked out fine in the end, I'm really happy now, but sometimes cringe a bit thinking back on it

Black Swan

Sounds like a time for a heart to heart talk with her?

Kell

Redlancer wrote:

Could we have been more than friends?

Probably. Why dont you find out?

Redlancer wrote:

Am I too slow?

I dont know. Are you?

Redlancer wrote:

Would I wreck our friendship?

It depends on how grown up you both are. If ye get together, great. If you dont, you dont. If she goes all weird n stuff because you opened your heart to her, she wasnt worth it anyway. As I said, depends on how grown up you both are.

Some friends fúck and think nothing of it. Some friends wont fúck other friends because they know the friendship couldnt survive no strings fúcking. Make your mind up as to whether your friendship could survive a relationship (methink your past experience suggests it can) and also if the friendship has a future should things go títs up.

Really quite easy dont you think?

K-

cournioni

I have been in the exact same situation OP. I was with a girl for a while and then she found out that I was a few years younger than her and she changed her tune straight away. Its the way some of them are unfortunately.

I am friends with her and had a few of those touchy feely moments with her too but I am afraid it was just her seeking attention, and needing someone to make her feel wanted and all of that. Personally I got a little angry with it, but she is still a good friend. We have alot in common and we are talking to one another non stop. Fact is though, she'll only ever be a friend. If it was ever going to be any other way it would become plainly obvious.

I am pretty sure that this is the case with your girl too, unfortunately. I'm 99% sure that what I've typed is not what you wanted to hear but I'm only saying what I've experienced. Have a chat with her about it, if she is a good friend she'll understand where you are coming from.

Ruu_Old

You need to find out what her intentions are and the advice that has already been posted here is pretty good.