he is 23 and I'm 28

jellypops

I got talking to a guy on Sunday night at electric picnic. We got on very well, had a laugh etc as we had both lost our mates ( as you do at these things!) but we didn't really mind so much.

After about an hour or so he decided he wasn't really up for dancing but i was and so we parted company. I didn't expect to hear from him again. But I then got a text about 20mins later saying "give me a shout if ya wanna meet up"

I said i would be in the campsite in a while meeting friends and i'd try and find him, as I was at another bar for the time being. I told him if he liked - to call over to the bar.

the campsite was huge and i was hoping to find other friends first & then mayb bring one of them along to his tent to him and all his mates.

In the end it took me half an hour to find anyone in the campsite (as it wasn't where i was staying, so i wasn't familiar with the layout....and phones were all dead.) When i did find my friends it was an hour and a half since he had sent the text, so i felt it was slightly pointless, as so late and most people were winding down.

My question is .. he is 23 and I'm 28. Would i be crazy to suggest meeting him for a drink or would he think the age gap is a bit much??

Would he have been more forward had he thought i was younger? Are guys intimidated by women older than them?...maybe thinking, why would she be interested in me cos i'm younger?

Perhaps he wasn't interested at all but i was thinking...what do i have to lose?;)
I would be interested in male and female feedback..:o

stipey

5 years is not a huge age gap.

In any case i don't think too many guys would be bothered by it.

28 is a good age - gives the impression of being more experienced and more liberal (sexually as opposed to politically - though obviously they aren't mutually exclusive).

When i was 23 you would have had to hold me back!

My rambling, inarticulate and 2c.

challengemaster

go for it.:D

Darragh29

jellypops wrote:

I got talking to a guy on Sunday night at electric picnic. We got on very well, had a laugh etc as we had both lost our mates ( as you do at these things!) but we didn't really mind so much.

After about an hour or so he decided he wasn't really up for dancing but i was and so we parted company. I didn't expect to hear from him again. But I then got a text about 20mins later saying "give me a shout if ya wanna meet up"

I said i would be in the campsite in a while meeting friends and i'd try and find him, as I was at another bar for the time being. I told him if he liked - to call over to the bar.

the campsite was huge and i was hoping to find other friends first & then mayb bring one of them along to his tent to him and all his mates.

In the end it took me half an hour to find anyone in the campsite (as it wasn't where i was staying, so i wasn't familiar with the layout....and phones were all dead.) When i did find my friends it was an hour and a half since he had sent the text, so i felt it was slightly pointless, as so late and most people were winding down.

My question is .. he is 23 and I'm 28. Would i be crazy to suggest meeting him for a drink or would he think the age gap is a bit much??

Would he have been more forward had he thought i was younger? Are guys intimidated by women older than them?...maybe thinking, why would she be interested in me cos i'm younger?

Perhaps he wasn't interested at all but i was thinking...what do i have to lose?;)
I would be interested in male and female feedback..:o

Go for it! I have a good friend who is 28, her fiance is 23, no problem for them, getting married next year, can't think of a happier couple tbh...

Zapho

Yeah I say go for it too. 5 years isn't that much. I know a couple that are married, the dude is 23, the girl 28, and they get on better than any couple I know.

jellypops

thanks for the feedback and encouragement guys..will ponder over night

Ruu_Old

5 years is nothing OP. Go for it and have a good time, best of luck.

Bill Andrex

5 years is nothing TBH.

A friend of mine has been seeing a girl for over 3 years and they have just bought a house together and he's 24 while she is 31, so I reckon the age gap doesn't really matter and is not much of an issue for them and their friends.

Hope it all goes well for you, I reckon you should go for it

dr.bollocko

I have to say as a 23 year old guy, from this side of the fence, looking at potentially dating a 28 year old, I would be more excited and flattered than worried or think that age is an issue. (U know the rush you always get from new relationships?)
But I would hope that a 5 year age gap wouldnt get in your way if you are considering starting something new.
Its not like he's a teenager, and has at least a few years of world experience.
Why wouldnt you?

GreenHell

23 yr old male here, dated a 28 year old a few months ago, no problems. Didn't work out because I was moving away. Go for it he'll be chuffed.

Squall

Im 21 and dated a girl who was 24. I also had an ehhh relationship with a woman 13 years my senior (18 - 31).

Its never been an issue for me.... infact ive always seemed to end up with older women.

Give him a call.

Whats the worst that could happen?

randomname2005

Go for it, my girlfriend and I have a similar age difference (although reversed) and its not a problem.
R

Dudess

Oh my God, there's barely any difference. I'm 28 too so I was 23 in 2001. Seems damn recent, to be honest. In fairness, if the genders were reversed it wouldn't even be an issue. For flip's sake, go for it!

metrovelvet

You know what 23 year old males are good for.

Lorax

I know its more common for the guy to be older but what the hell, if it makes you happy then go for it

Tarakiwa

There is a 4 year gap between my wife & I (she is older than me).

I never had a problem with it. None of my friends or family ever had a problem with it.

Go for it!

Sleepy

I dated a girl of 28 at 23. We're still great friends. Go for it.

Pet

Remember The Rule. Half your age plus seven is the youngest you can go out with while remaining generally socially acceptable!

xzanti

My bf is 29 and I'm 23 and it works out fine.. I actually don't think I would go out with a guy my own age.. I'd rather an older guy.. I don't mean a Michael Douglas or anything lol but a few years older...

Motley Crue

jellypops wrote:

I got talking to a guy on Sunday night at electric picnic. We got on very well, had a laugh etc as we had both lost our mates ( as you do at these things!) but we didn't really mind so much.

After about an hour or so he decided he wasn't really up for dancing but i was and so we parted company. I didn't expect to hear from him again. But I then got a text about 20mins later saying "give me a shout if ya wanna meet up"

I said i would be in the campsite in a while meeting friends and i'd try and find him, as I was at another bar for the time being. I told him if he liked - to call over to the bar.

the campsite was huge and i was hoping to find other friends first & then mayb bring one of them along to his tent to him and all his mates.

In the end it took me half an hour to find anyone in the campsite (as it wasn't where i was staying, so i wasn't familiar with the layout....and phones were all dead.) When i did find my friends it was an hour and a half since he had sent the text, so i felt it was slightly pointless, as so late and most people were winding down.

My question is .. he is 23 and I'm 28. Would i be crazy to suggest meeting him for a drink or would he think the age gap is a bit much??

Would he have been more forward had he thought i was younger? Are guys intimidated by women older than them?...maybe thinking, why would she be interested in me cos i'm younger?

Perhaps he wasn't interested at all but i was thinking...what do i have to lose?;)
I would be interested in male and female feedback..:o

Live your life, no problem with the age gap

jellypops

Cheers all,
I think i'll send the text and see what happens.
If nothing...he'll be flattered and i'll be delighted with myself for havign guts ot send it

LegacyUser

older woman with younger guy, yes, this can work out

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YvnkYVM08tA

turbot

From a guy who's had girlriends ranging from 7 years younger to 6 years older, my advice is, without hesitation, go for it.

The age gap is a non-issue. It's more important that you get on well and have fun together.

Blisterman

I went out with a 26 year old when I was 19. It worked out fine, until her parents started pressuring her to find a husband.

Black Swan

If you fancy each other, age is unimportant. Go for it.

TallGirl

I think people are fogetting the length of time it has been since he texted you. He was probably in the festival, friendly mood.... thinking, "hay i might get lucky here tonight, I've nothing to loose by texting and seeing if she wants to hang out in the campsite".
I don't know if you texted him back at all since he texted you first but if you haven't texted him at all I think you might have left it a bit long.
I still reckon you should go for it and text, not ring (I think Ringing will put him on the spot). But be aware that he might just think its weird you getting in contact now after not having been in contact for aaages.

jellypops

sent text yesterday lunchtime..heard nothing but was thinking that would be the case. feel a bit humiliated but I think it's better than the wondering
"what if" and yes we were all in the "festival mood".

I understand what Tallgirl was saying and i was thinking that myself. we had been in touchon Monday evening but nothing since.

Not to worry, it's something i've never had the guts to do before and i thought .. what the hell.. i may aswell be forward for once in my life.

I'm sure he was flattered. cheerio guys

Darragh29

jellypops wrote:

sent text yesterday lunchtime..heard nothing but was thinking that would be the case. feel a bit humiliated but I think it's better than the wondering
"what if" and yes we were all in the "festival mood".

I understand what Tallgirl was saying and i was thinking that myself. we had been in touchon Monday evening but nothing since.

Not to worry, it's something i've never had the guts to do before and i thought .. what the hell.. i may aswell be forward for once in my life.

I'm sure he was flattered. cheerio guys

Well fair play to ya for havin the guts to take the chance, sure ye never know, he might be out of credit or somethin and you'll get a txt in a few days time...

DiscoHugh

or he could just be playing it cool!

don't worry about it. of course he's flattered no matter what.

that is the beauty of the text message so much easier than picking up the phone...though the not knowing where you stand can be a negative

jellypops

i got a reply yesterday. Although it was negative with a good reason (true or not, it doesn't matter) I'm glad he had the decency to get back to me.
I think in some circumstances it's plain rude when people don't reply to a text.. especially one like the one I've spoken about.

Thanks for your posts

Darragh29

jellypops wrote:

i got a reply yesterday. Although it was negative with a good reason (true or not, it doesn't matter) I'm glad he had the decency to get back to me.
I think in some circumstances it's plain rude when people don't reply to a text.. especially one like the one I've spoken about.

Thanks for your posts

Well ye know what they say, "nothing ventured, nothing gained"! I always wonder who are "they" in phrases like that!?!?!

jubi lee

jellypops, i'm the same age and went out with a guy in his early 20's. age did make a diff. he got stopped and asked for id going into pubs, it was so embarrassing!!! he got turned away from one when all my mates where inside so i had to leave with him... the slagging i got was unreal!!

i guess tho it depends on the guy. i wouldn't rule it out in the future..

Darragh29

jubi lee wrote:

jellypops, i'm the same age and went out with a guy in his early 20's. age did make a diff. he got stopped and asked for id going into pubs, it was so embarrassing!!! he got turned away from one when all my mates where inside so i had to leave with him... the slagging i got was unreal!!

i guess tho it depends on the guy. i wouldn't rule it out in the future..

I had a long chat recently with a friend of mine who is 30 and can't find a guy her own age. She has a theory on this that most guys 28-30 are seeing girls in their early twenties 'cos girls of that age don't want commitment, which apparently suits the guys 'cos they are just out for sex? So, she feels that there are a load of girls in their late twenties and early thirties who cannot get a bloke their own age cos they are all seeing younger girls, who couldn't be bothered with guys their own age cos they are too immature? I don't know about this theory, hopefully it is not straying off topic, but would love to hear second or third opinions on this???

jubi lee

Darragh29 wrote:

I had a long chat recently with a friend of mine who is 30 and can't find a guy her own age. She has a theory on this that most guys 28-30 are seeing girls in their early twenties 'cos girls of that age don't want commitment, which apparently suits the guys 'cos they are just out for sex? So, she feels that there are a load of girls in their late twenties and early thirties who cannot get a bloke their own age cos they are all seeing younger girls, who couldn't be bothered with guys their own age cos they are too immature? I don't know about this theory, hopefully it is not straying off topic, but would love to hear second or third opinions on this???

yeah your mate is fairly spot on. though most guys from 28-30 are either married, in longterm relationships....its just generally harder to meet an unattached guy at this age... not met too many dating much younger girls but i'm sure they are out there!!!

also i think women out number men 3:1 so it is harder to meet a single bloke

Morpheus

I'm just gone 30(ARRGGHHH!!!!!).
My girlfriend of five years is NOW 23.
Do the math.
Go for it

jubi lee

so morph, did you conciously go looking for a girl much younger than yourself or did it just happen that way? do you prfer younger women as darragh mentioned above??

zaphod_ie

jubi lee wrote:

yeah your mate is fairly spot on. though most guys from 28-30 are either married, in longterm relationships....its just generally harder to meet an unattached guy at this age... not met too many dating much younger girls but i'm sure they are out there!!!

also i think women out number men 3:1 so it is harder to meet a single bloke

I have to agree with this. Out of a group of 8 lads (all 28-31) that i've hung around with for 15 years, only two of us are single and the other guy just came out of an 11 year relationship. I think it's just as hard to meet a single girl of that age but part of this is because you tend to go out less. I know most of my friends don't go out half as much as they used to.

Pigman II

The age gap is fine. Look at it this way "when you're 48 he'll be chasing other women".