Hitting your Teenager,Would you?

#Smokey#

Well would you?

I can only see 3 consequences to a yes answer.

1. They smarten up and act right.
2. They become depressed and afraid(emotional trauma).
3. They grow up to hate you which could end up in a physical situation and other drama in later life.

As for no well i can see the following happening.


1.They become spoilt and think they can get away with anything.
2.They respect you for treating them like an adult.

Black Swan

No. And if some other adult hit them, they would have to answer to me.

Dave!

Uh-oh!

projectmayhem

#Elites wrote:

err, if my dad fully hit me, i would hit him back...

same here. granted i'm 21 and gone through my teenage/adult life without requiring a smack, if worst came to worst i'm sure my parents would know that i'd hit back

Umiq88

Dont think it has the same affect as a child as teenagers can take a good slapping more or less

If you rasied them right as a kid you shouldnt have to hitting should be used as a concequence to bad behaviour they're bad they get hit it hurts they'll catch on sooner or later and stop*



*note if they're a bit slow this may require harder and more prolonged exposure to beating

astrofool

the 1 in 3 chance of them becoming an emo is enough to warrant never hitting them (and besides, during the teenage years there's much better ways to deal with kids, denying them black nail varnish for one )

Cy Kotic

A good clip around the ear at least once a week, whether they deserved it or not.

RandolphEsq

I already posted in this but for some reason my post is gone (cockhead mod no doubt, go suck yourself).
If I got hit by my parents Id turn on them and move out. If you are a level headed good parent you should be able to talk to your child instead of hitting them

Ruu_Old

BrightEyes wrote:

I already posted in this but for some reason my post is gone (cockhead mod no doubt, go suck yourself).
If I got hit by my parents Id turn on them and move out. If you are a level headed good parent you should be able to talk to your child instead of hitting them

Actually no, it wasn't a cockhead mod. Read here.

ircoha

#Smokey# wrote:

Well would you?

I can only see 3 consequences to a yes answer.

1. They smarten up and act right.
2. They become depressed and afraid(emotional trauma).
3. They grow up to hate you which could end up in a physical situation and other drama in later life.
They WILL hit u back and given their current music choice, their reaction would make Charles Mason look like a whimp.

As for no well i can see the following happening.


1.They become spoilt and think they can get away with anything.
2.They respect you for treating them like an adult.Respect is not in their vocabuary

keep taking the tabs:)

Zillah

There are such easier ways to punish teenagers than physically hitting them. Hitting a child works because their tiny little brains go "Ahh, pain and angry big person!" Hitting a teenager solves absolutely nothing. Deny them money, liberty or pleasure, that'll sort them out.

Not only is hitting a teenager archaic and ignorant, its also utterly pointless.

Beruthiel

If it comes to a situation that you have to hit your teenage kid, it means you haven't done your job as a parent for the last 14 odd years and you have no relationship with them whatsoever if this is what you resort to.

RainyDay

#Smokey# wrote:

I can only see 3 consequences to a yes answer.

1. They smarten up and act right.
2. They become depressed and afraid(emotional trauma).
3. They grow up to hate you which could end up in a physical situation and other drama in later life.

How long did you spend looking for consequences? 2 seconds, or did you give it a full 5 seconds? Here's some other bleedingly obvious consequences;

1) They hit you back
2) They start to believe that physical violence is an appropriate conflict resolution strategy when people disagree
3) They lose their self-esteem and self-confidence at a critical developmental stage.

netwhizkid

Interesting Thread, Why do parents do this, it is so like f*cked up, The actual smack/belt isn't the dealio (unless it is bad) it is just soo embarrassing makes you feel like you are 5 or something.

I have got a smack several times as a teenager most recently last week when I had a shovel thrown at me, it thumped my shoulder bad but I equally deserved it for filling in the hole my father spent two hours digging over a stupid argument over placing of underground sewer pipes.

I always find ways to get my own back though, like last year before I got my own Credit Card, I booked my flight to the USA on the old mans Credit Card, "those flights were f*cking dear" he said yes father you smack me around so I fly first class, bad quality champagne though. Having Computer illiterate parents is great.

Zillah

Starting to think that maybe you could do with a good hiding...

Umiq88

I concour beating ftw

Murky

Hopefully the situation would never arise. But some teenagers can go way out of control and would destroy the strongest set of morals a person might have. I know I drove my parents mental as a teen. I deserved more than a beating.

cooperguy

There is no way you should hit them . Would you hit your husband/wife/Parents/friends to get a point across? Violence is not a way to show your right and giving the impression that it is, is a very bad idea.

#Smokey#

RainyDay wrote:

How long did you spend looking for consequences? 2 seconds, or did you give it a full 5 seconds? Here's some other bleedingly obvious consequences;

1) They hit you back
2) They start to believe that physical violence is an appropriate conflict resolution strategy when people disagree
3) They lose their self-esteem and self-confidence at a critical developmental stage.

To answer your first two points refer to my point number 3.I didnt they the physical situation would or would not involve a parent and as for your third point refer my other point number 2 on the consequence of hitting him\her

BEAT

I am really against violence but I have to tell you there are some kids out there that need to get a swift kick ... it's hard with a teenager though because yes, they will hit back if they are violent in nature.
I was smacked by my gran when i was a young teen and i never had to be smacked again, and yes it was called for.
Sometimes and I stress sometimes it may be called for to bring thier azz back to reality.

metrovelvet

netwhizkid wrote:

Interesting Thread, Why do parents do this, it is so like f*cked up, The actual smack/belt isn't the dealio (unless it is bad) it is just soo embarrassing makes you feel like you are 5 or something.

I have got a smack several times as a teenager most recently last week when I had a shovel thrown at me, it thumped my shoulder bad but I equally deserved it for filling in the hole my father spent two hours digging over a stupid argument over placing of underground sewer pipes.

I always find ways to get my own back though, like last year before I got my own Credit Card, I booked my flight to the USA on the old mans Credit Card, "those flights were f*cking dear" he said yes father you smack me around so I fly first class, bad quality champagne though. Having Computer illiterate parents is great.

Netwhizkid-

I have to say I am your newest biggest fan! I love it.

Yeah - the only thing you teach them when you hit them is that violence is a solution to conflict.

It doesnt solve anything. The last time I got hit I was 16. I hit back. BIG MISTAKE. I wish I had thought of what you did NWK.

My best friend's mother threw a step ladder at her while she was sitting on the toilet. She was 21. Insanity.

All it does is make you hate your parents, distrust authority etc. No one has the right to touch your body that way, in a way that hurts, especially from someone who claims to love you, which your parents do claim.

mountainyman

#Elites wrote:

err, if my dad fully hit me, i would hit him back...

If you did that to me I'd knock your teeth out.
My house, My rules, My FIST

Tough Love? Damn Tough.

MM

mountainyman

netwhizkid wrote:

...makes you feel like you are 5 or something.
...I had a shovel thrown at me...
... you smack me around so I fly first class, bad quality champagne though...

If you behave like a child don't be surprised when you are treated like one. If you were my son that shovel would have been across your head.

It is called tough love.

MM

luckat

Here's a reference to a huge study - collating 88 separate studies - on the effects of corporal punishment:


http://www.newswise.com/articles/view/?id=PUNISH.PSY

Gershoff, E. T., National Center for Children in Poverty, Columbia University, New York, NY. "Corporal Punishment by Parents and Associated Child Behaviors and Experiences: A Meta-Analytic and Theoretical Review." Psychological Bulletin, 2002 Jul;128(4), 539-579

Gerfoff's study ound that corporal punishment of children was related to decreased internalization of moral rules, increased aggression, more antisocial behavior, increased criminality, weakened parent-child relationships, decreased mental health outcomes, increased adult abusive behaviors, and increased risk of being victimized in abusive relationships in adulthood. This study is an analysis of 88 research studies on corporal punishment of children.

Sam Vimes

metrovelvet wrote:

My best friend's mother threw a step ladder at her while she was sitting on the toilet. She was 21. Insanity

jesus christ!

metrovelvet

mountainyman wrote:

If you behave like a child don't be surprised when you are treated like one. If you were my son that shovel would have been across your head.

It is called tough love.

MM

Its called abuse, its called assault. Its wrong.

I cant believe there are people advocating violence on this forum. I thought that was a no no on boards.

Terry

relax, he's already been banned.

RainyDay

#Smokey# wrote:

To answer your first two points refer to my point number 3.I didnt they the physical situation would or would not involve a parent and as for your third point refer my other point number 2 on the consequence of hitting him\her

If this post is indicitive of your ability to communicate, I'm starting to understand why you might think that hitting is a good idea. But do give the alternative (i.e. direct, rational communication) a shot - you might just find that it works.

Carcharodon

If i was asked this a couple of years ago i would of said its fine to hit your kids if they were acting up, sure my dad did it to me and i am ok...
But over the last couple of years i think the violence shown towards me has really affected me and people around me.
It took a couple of wake up calls to realise that violence towards people, especialy those that cant defend themselves is disgusting and a trait i hope i wont pass on to my kids

bigpinkelephant

My father was still hitting me across the head when I was 17. I'm the only girl, I have never seen him hit either of my brothers and they behaved far worse than me, my older brother punched and kicked me for no reason and trashed my room and never got in any trouble for it.

I still hate my father for it. He's a wimp, he is also one of the most racist and homophobic people I have ever met. He also has no friends.

theTinker

same opinion as the other child one thread, only in extreme situations(life threathening(the dead kind) or life threathening(the career and happy life kind/prison))

I was hit as a teenager once too often and when i was 16 I hit my dad a really pent up fist right in the face. This day im still proud of myself as i was small and he wasnt. My dad then hit me serverely as expected when a dominant role established by violence is threathened but anytime after that, he never hit me again. Also i think at the rate of violence increasing and the emotional extremes teenagers have, it could prove fatal risk without much effort. I knew if he kept at it i would certainly escalate matters(beat him with sumthing like). This created a huge rift which is now too late to ever try fix. Sick stuff but i was raised with violence( spanking n such) so what the hell did he think would happened when i demanded adult liberty. I was hardly raised to sit down and discuss my beliefs and circumstances.
thankfully my natural intelligence was always very high and ive identified and learnt from my parents mistakes early on in life (18+) but that time between 16-18 was ....lucky for everyone. Teenagers are hardly in control of themselves, dont test thier genetic instincts. They will either kick the **** out of u, recoil emotionally from the world, or end up just hating u and themselves.

ps: I was serverly depressed as a teen, might explain sum of the stuff above, heck the depression could even of been encouraged by the way i was raised(by hand and belt)

theTinker

bigpinkelephant wrote:

My father was still hitting me across the head when I was 17. I'm the only girl, I have never seen him hit either of my brothers and they behaved far worse than me, my older brother punched and kicked me for no reason and trashed my room and never got in any trouble for it.

I still hate my father for it. He's a wimp, he is also one of the most racist and homophobic people I have ever met. He also has no friends.

If u dont mind me butting in, Sounds like ur father was a very angry person internally and as u seen quite the whimp as he didnt face the boys prolly cause he knew he would get his own face answered with force. Im very glad u are clever enough to identifyhis mistakes instead of copying them. woot! u rock

oRlyYaRly

My father hit me when I was smaller and I hate him for it.

I'm a well behaved lad and that's because I wouldn't want my mother to be dissappointed in me and I don't want to dissappoint myself.

RiderOnTheStorm

Is there a difference between 'hit' and 'smack' ? There is in my opinion. I would not hit my kids. To me, hitting is like self defence, or boxing, or seeting out to cause damage. A smack is a form of quick correction, an attention getter. Throwing a shovel, or step ladder, or any of that crap is wrong. Children need to know there are consequences to their actions, and somethimes they have to think about others, or the others they meet in later life will not have any problem in educating them!

I love my children, and they love me. But I have had to smack them on the bum or hand when they were younger, and I hope to God I never have to do it again as I always feel bad afterwards. But by goodness, kids can push a parents buttons! I think that the personality of a kid is well set by the time they are a teenager, so its too late for any form of physical correction.

greenkittie

bigpinkelephant wrote:

My father was still hitting me across the head when I was 17. I'm the only girl, I have never seen him hit either of my brothers and they behaved far worse than me, my older brother punched and kicked me for no reason and trashed my room and never got in any trouble for it.

Sounds exactly the same as me. When i was younger my daddy took out all his anger on me and never touched my brothers at all.
Although my story ended happily in a way. He took a heart attack and has been on medication ever since that has calmed him down and turned him into a reasonable person.

abetarrush

hittin your kids at any age is sick

If ye cant get results by talkin to em ye must be doin sumthin wrong

jezza

#Elites wrote:

err, if my dad fully hit me, i would hit him back...

What he said.

Supercell

In answer to the OP, prepare to be hit back!

I'll get mad if I post anything else, violence never solves anything, thats why its against the law.

#Smokey#

Longfield wrote:

In answer to the OP, prepare to be hit back!

I'll get mad if I post anything else, violence never solves anything, thats why its against the law.

watch out there. Im all against violence. but as for the occasional post here and there i do not advocate it really even if i say for example
"get a philips screwdriver and stab the guy you can say you brought the screwdriver with you for self defense........ against robots"