Married but......

LegacyUser

I am a married woman, happily married...but starting to rely on a friend more than my Husband....do not fancy the guy in the slightest to but wonder why I chat to him more than my Husband???

Anyone else ever felt the same?

Jules

never do it cuz im not married, but i have a fair few older male friends that are married and i speak to them alot, they talk to me about things they cannot speak to their wives about, and nothing sexual has ever come of it. sometimes its nice to have someone you can talk to other than your partner... as long as it doesnt go too far i cant see a problem!

LegacyUser

Thank you for your prompt reply.

Yes, It is nice to talk to someone outside the situation....there is nothing sexual between myself and my friend... I just chat to him a lot.....should I chat to my husband more or is there some things you just say to a friend???

Ruu_Old

Make an attempt to chat to your husband more, you both need each other. It may not be an issue but make sure this other chap knows you just want a friendship.

pokerwidow

How would you feel if your dh started confiding in other women? Although this relationship is not sexual you really should not be sharing intimate thoughts with someone else. Of course there is nothing wrong with having friends and you do not have to share every single detail with your husband, but imho the big stuff should be shared. Sit down and talk with him. If life is getting in the way, go away for a weekend, just the two of you and spend hours talking and enjoying each other again.

My husband is my best friend and I personally could not hurt him by keeping secrets or going to someone else for advice. Maybe this is not what you wanted to hear, but please just think about it being the other way, him confiding in someone else. Best of Luck, hope it works out.

6th

People's partners should be their best friends, whats the point otherwise?

Anyway theres nothing wrong with having friends of either sex to talk to. Sometimes it better to talk to someone other than your partner but for the bulk of it they should be the one you turn to and lean on, do you think there is anything you would rather your partner spoken to someone else about ratrher than you? Or is there anything you think your partner should not be able to talk to you about?

Like Ruu said, make sure your friend knows the score - dont presume he does as people can get the wrong idea no matter how innocent the chats are.

6th

jules80 wrote:

......i have a fair few older male friends that are married and i speak to them alot, they talk to me about things they cannot speak to their wives about.....

I cant think of much that a person cant talk to their partner about, can you?

And if they are things like not being happy about something in the relationship then they have problems that they should sort out between them.

LegacyUser

My husband is a doctor, works v long hours so it not around much! I can talk to him about anything he just not around much to talk to. Most weekend my choice is to stay in alone or go out with our friends by myself.

There is no chance of my friend getting the wrong idea. He has been happily living with his boyfriend the last 7 years.

Marksie

V V silly??? wrote:

There is no chance of my friend getting the wrong idea. He has been happily living with his boyfriend the last 7 years.

LOL i had apartner who has a gay friend, i had no poblem with themn talking about whatever, as he usually said to me sotto voice. Its us girls together don't you know!

Sory but that last gave me one of the biggest belly laughs coming as it did at the end of the therad... brilliant

I will answer your post: Its absoluitely fine as long as you maintain a level of communication with your husband about really important matters betwwen yourselves.

ircoha

V V Silly??? wrote:

I am a married woman, happily married...but starting to rely on a friend more than my Husband....do not fancy the guy in the slightest to but wonder why I chat to him more than my Husband???

Anyone else ever felt the same?

OP: sorry to read u are a "doc-widow"

I suppose the question is what you mean by rely on.
In other words what is he providing that the absent hubbie is not?

I dont want you to post a reply here, just think about it.
IMO, u chat to him because he is around and obviously u get on well.

keep well

Ickle Magoo

I am married and I agree sometimes it's just nice to get a third parties perspective on issues but my husband is always the first person I tell or the first person I go to for chats & vica versa...that's why we got married. I'm not sure that would remain the case if he was never there for me to speak to, I'd probably find someone else to talk through things with which is what you have done. Best of luck

jules80, I also can't think of anything that should be happening in a decent relationship that cannot be discussed between partners

6th

Being unfaithful isnt just about having it away with someone else, relying emotionally on a 3rd person can be a betrayal also, infact some would say an emotional betrayal is worse.

biko

One thing I heard while studying sociology and psychology:

The wife is often the husband's best friend but the husband is rarely the wife's best friend.

Don't worry OP, perfectly normal.