How to get a Girl out of the BED?

PH01

Please help me! My babe is still in bed. It's after four in the afternoon and I haven't had breakfast, or LUNCH for that matter. I'm starving!!!

Please help me get this girl out of Bed! What should I do?

SantaHoe

Make your own bloody food, what are you, a helpless baby?
Bring her up breakfast in bed aswell ye lazy git.

Or just call someone you both know and bring the phone to her saying such-and-such wants to talk to you... that way you don't get the blame for annoying her out of bed and she can't be crabby because the person on the phone might hear
Works on me anyway.

Saruman

Is she still in bed??

Best way is to make sure there is so m uch light etc getting into the room that she cant sleep and get out yourself.. she may be waiting for you!

Piste

Make sure she's alive.

The_B_Man

get in beside her and try get some.
then 1 of 2 things will happen:
she'll say fuk off and you'll annoy her into gettin outta bed & she'll try to get away from u,
OR
she'll give you some, then afterwards will get outta bed to get food.
simple.

therecklessone

The_B_Man wrote:

get in beside her and try get some.

Variation 1:

Ride her, the wipe your lad in the curtains. That'll get her riled enough to exit scratcher right...

Variation 2:

Ride her, but call her by her sister's name mid-hump. She'll fairly move then.

Best of luck.

jesus_thats_gre

Roll her over a bit and jazz on the nice warm bit of the sheet.. The jazz goes cold fairly quick and then you will know if she will tolerate sleeping on the wet patch from now on..

gimmick

Get back into bed, let one rip, try not to follow through (though if u did, it may speed things up).

Either that, or just go back to bed yurself, look like you are about to have a nap, and then no doubt she will be up, to get you up in double quick time!

The_B_Man

never underestimate the trusty "Back O' The Hand"! a swift one of them and she'll be outta there in a flash! if it doesnt work then try it on her ass.

actually, the best way to get someone out of bed is to take the covers off them and throw them over the other side of the room. it worked on me through secondary school!

Chad ghostal

LOl@thread

Giblet

Take a dump on the bed.

Chad ghostal

But not on your head.

funky penguin

Poke her!!!!!!!!

Steveire

Is she still in bed? Did you get lunch? Breakfast? What did you do? Don't keep us in the lurch here...

jezza

They must be still asleep of ****in exacused!
No replies!
Dead i tell ya

funky penguin

funky penguin wrote:

Poke her!!!!!!!!

With a stick, of course.

Capt'n Midnight

How old is this babe, is she a female relative ?
Depending on the age you offer to take her to the Zoo.
Play loud music.
Threaten with a glass of ice cold water.
Get a feather.
Invite her friends around.
Pets may be a good idea - a friendly dog licking your face can do wonders to you level of conciousness.

Winters

How did you get her into bed in the first place. Thats the problem I usually have.

Ro: maaan!

Winters wrote:

How did you get her into bed in the first place. Thats the problem I usually have.

Surely if you just do the opposite of what you did to get her in the bed then she'll get out of the bed. Just a suggestion. And Winty, all you have to do then is to the opposite of the opposite...

Sparky

just fart, or pretend to get sick

funky penguin

I wonder if she's still there....

Probably smells a bit by now.

bounty_hunter

If he did any of the things that have been suggested here (aside from making her breakfast), she's murdered him. Mystery solved!

Chad ghostal

we should at least be allowed to sex up the corpse?
if noone else is using it?
can we...
pretty please?
with a cherry on top?

bounty_hunter

Ah, it'll be pretty manky by now.

I can arrange a fresh one for a small fee.

Chad ghostal

/inserts small fee

bounty_hunter

Ooh, very good

You win the prize.

Chad ghostal

WoOOHooOO o prizes..
my favorite 'zes'!!!!!

bounty_hunter

Hey, there's only one prize involved here! Don't get too excited.

Chad ghostal

WoOhOO Prize..
my favourite 'ze'..

bounty_hunter

What about sexze?

Chad ghostal

sexze's good.. but not as good as sexzeprize..

bounty_hunter

Don't be silly, that isn't a word.

Chad ghostal

words are made to be broken :d

bounty_hunter

I apologise, I was just jealous cos your word was better than mine.

Chad ghostal

No need to apologise,
i realise my word is great..
and that people will eventually be jealous of such greatness..
and probably try to steal it from me..
or stab me in the back.. [not in the dirty way ¬_¬]
But Its Ok.. .
*jazz hands*




aww jeeze..

bounty_hunter

What's the dirty way?

Chad ghostal

ehhhhh.. .well ..it involves a penis (not mine)
entering my anus
and then proceeding to continue inserting and extracting the penis from my anus ..untill the penis is sufficiently satisfied..


this is not a practice we condone here in chads ass

bounty_hunter

You said your back!

That's not half as exciting as I'd imagined.

Chad ghostal

bounty_hunter wrote:

You said your back!

That's not half as exciting as I'd imagined.

i know.. ill try involve more ninja's and sharks in my next post..
and some cowbells..
gotta have more cowbells..

bounty_hunter

You remind me of someone

Chad ghostal

It wouldnt be me, would it? :d

bounty_hunter

Strangely, no. That was a good guess though