Extraordinarily Tasteless Jokes - Takola Rules!!!!

Lust4Life

Takola got me laughing with her joke in the Q & A Thread.
How about we put our favourites here since we'd probably get banned from the Humour Forum if we posted them there?

Believe it or not, my DAD sent me this one...

Ballerina

A very large woman, wearing a sleeveless sun dress, walked into a

bar in Dublin. She raised her right arm, revealing a huge, hairy

armpit as she pointed to all the people sitting at the bar and asked,

"What man here will buy a lady a drink?"

The place went silent as the patrons tried to ignore her. But down at

the end of the bar, an owly-eyed drunk slammed his hand down on the

counter and bellowed, "Give the ballerina a drink, on me!"

The bartender poured the drink and the woman chugged it down. She

turned to the patrons, and again revealing the same hairy armpit,

asked "What man here will buy a lady a drink?"

Once again, the same little drunk slapped his money down on the bar

and said, "Get the ballerina another drink!"

The bartender approached the little drunk and said, "I say, old chap,

it's your business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you

keep calling her the ballerina?"

The drunk replied, "Any woman who can lift her leg that high has got

to be a ballerina."


Sorry - shoulda told you to have vomit bags handy!:p

takola

LOL, The joke I told actually makes me sick tbh. It's horrible! *Shudder*

smash

haha, good one L4L!

I appologise in advance.....

what do women and prawns have in common.....
they're heads are full of sh1t but the pink bits taste nice!

What did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?
See you next month!

What did one lesbian frog say to the other?
They're right, we do taste like chicken!

Lust4Life

MORAL OF THE STORY: Always carry Kleenex in your purse.


Two women, who had been friends for years, decided to go for a
Girls Night Out and were decidedly over-enthusiastic on the
Consumption of the Margaritas.
Drunk and walking home, they needed to use the bathroom. They were very near a cemetery and one of them suggested they "whiz" behind a headstone.
The first woman had nothing to dry herself with, so she
decided she'd take off her panties, use them, then throw them
away.
Her friend, however, was wearing rather expensive underwear
and did not want to ruin hers. She was lucky enough to salvage a
large ribbon from a wreath that was on one of the graves. She dried
herself with the ribbon.
After finishing, they then made off for home.

The next day, the first woman's husband phoned the other
husband and said, This girls night out thing has got to stop
right now!!
My wife came home last night without her panties."
"That's nothing, " said the other husband, "mine came home with a card stuck to her hinny that said:
"FROM ALL OF US AT THE FIRE STATION. WE'LL NEVER FORGET YOU."

Doomspell

LOL!! Well this joke is from a card,

One day a chicken was walking through
the meadow....

..when she saw a horse stuck in the mud.
Thinking fast, she got the farmer's
sports car, teid one end of rope to the
bumper and the other to the horse,
and pulled the horse to safety.

The following week the horse was
walking through the meadow and
saw the chicken stuck in the mud.
Thinking fast, he told the chicken
to hold onto his willy while he
pulled her to safety.
And the moral of this stroy is...

"If you're hung like a horse
you don't need a flash
car to pick up chicks!"